You played yourself

Revealing the truth about the GWYA podcast hosts

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A personal message

A heartfelt thank you to supporters who have reached out to the author privately. I understand giving up your identity to the author would leave you open to any harassment/attacks from GWYA supporters. Should anyone choose to reach out to the blog privately for support, your identity will not be shared. For anyone reading who disliked the direction the podcast had gone in but did not feel comfortable about voicing your opinions, know you are not alone.

The following are a list of resources for anyone who needs help coping or processing with the turn of events. ❤️

Love is Louder Action Center

Active Minds

The Cybersmile Foundation

7 Cups

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The Mission stuff is well-intentioned and I get fans want to preserve the band’s legacy. But all this pestering for a reunion lately has to be getting on some of the guys’ nerves. On the guys’ live reunion for On The Line, Joey was like “I’m gonna ask cuz fans keep bringing it up. Lance, do you see *NSYNC reuniting in the near future?” Lance didn’t hesitate to say “no.” The guys already know how much everyone wants a reunion. Fans don't need to be pestering the guys for a reunion every damn day.

Thanks, I agree. It must be annoying for Joey when he wants to talk about other things, like his ventures and hosting gigs and all people wanna do is ask about reunion and NSYNC stuff. There is a way to show love for NSYNC without overstepping one’s boundaries as a fan, feeling entitled to their attention, and potentially setting oneself up for disappointment if a reunion doesn’t materialize. 

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Anon said: I left the podcast group for a different reason: i got so tired of the bragging and one-upmanship of a lot of the "fans". The constant freak outs and over analyzing over nothing got so tiresome too. (there will be a reunion when they announce one people! calm down!) I'm so over seeing the butthurt over other groups reuniting

Yeah, I don’t know that getting one’s hopes up about the possibility of a reunion right now is wise considering nothing has been made official and it’s been talked about in the fandom for years. I wonder if that’s part of the reason the guys don’t reunite, because of the public pressure and media frenzy that happens whenever there is a sighting of all 5 or 4 of them together.

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It's disappointing to hear that the group became more about gossiping and rumors especially when the fandom is mostly adults in their late 20's and up. Stuff like whining about their significant others or acting like they owe us sounds like something bratty 10 year old fans would say in 2000, not adults in 2020. This is not an attitude we or the guys should be encouraging.

I appreciated stuff like the stories from guests they had about life with the guys before they got big and during their peak, but yes I agree that the reunion expectations were getting to a point where it felt like boundary crossing. Fans were getting themselves into a frenzy about an imminent reunion announcement when nothing was confirmed. Everyone (including the guys surely) knows a reunion is wanted, but it has to happen on the guys’ terms and of their own accord.

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“This is an unpopular opinion, but toxic fandoms thrive when we opt not to quash it in our own fandoms. So many times have we made excuses for shitty behavior from people who liked the same stuff. Toxicity you let slide is toxicity someone else has to deal with.”

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Do you believe they have any real inside info? While they have sucked up to Melinda, Lance and Chris, most of what they said seems more like half-truths and lies. The whole section about Chris saying it was HIS band just sounded like something GWYA would say and not Chris. Plus why would he talk about Silas and Nash playing together? While I don't think they actually hate JC, I think they enjoy playing up this weird JC is a victim that only they can see and fix fantasy which is really gross.

I believe that the hosts wanted to appear like they had real insider info by teasing it out with the bleeped part. They could have left that part out of the episode entirely, but they needed to grow their following by dangling a “secret.” Their access to some of the guys and people in the guys’ circle definitely helped give the appearance of exclusive scoops. I don’t trust the hosts’ accounts of insider info given how they withheld info from listeners as detailed in the screenshots; not sure if Chris really did say that but it is what Ashley relayed to others as the screenshots show.

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Cliques, Careers, And Cults: How Groupthink Influences Us Every Day

It’s a dangerous mindset to be made part of. And it’s everywhere.

The problem with groupthink is that it treats a group of people as a homogeneous unit. When it comes to coming up with decisions or solutions, the desire to keep the group at unanimity overpowers the necessity for alternative thinking or thoughtful discussion. Typically, then, the decision will be left to those in charge––and rarely is that decision the best possible option nor does it benefit everyone. It forces the members of the group to lose their individuality and voice.

The groupthink phenomenon is found in almost all sectors of life. It’s deeply rooted in the basic human desire for acceptance and validation, and is a force that drives all of us. Our natural need for socialization sways us in our decision-making––particularly in our decision to be heavily influenced by others.

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The Fan Community of Popular True-Crime Podcast My Favorite Murder Is Out of Control. Have Its Hosts Done Enough to Fix It?

Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff bring a live version of their podcast to DPAC on Thursday, September 20.

When Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff started their dishy true crime/comedy podcast My Favorite Murder in January 2016, they didn't expect it to blow up. As their iTunes ranking and Facebook group numbers climbed, they continually thanked their fans—“Murderinos,” they call themselves—for creating a community with shared interests in true crime, social justice, and feminism. They seem to understand toxic masculinity and the disparity in media coverage of white crime victims and those of color. 

But swirling under these noble causes is an extreme vein of white privilege, one that Hardstark and Kilgariff have done nothing to rein in—and have, in fact, done everything to support. This issue came to a head in August 2018, when the podcast's main Facebook fan group—more than 235,000 people moderated by unpaid volunteers—was shut down and archived, earning the nickname the “MFM DF,” or My Favorite Murder Dumpster Fire.

People of color and American Indians spent countless hours trying to explain why pointing out racism mattered. White fans, angry that their entertainment—murder—had been sullied with real-life problems begged people to get over it and move on. Admins started blocking people speaking up about racism in the group. Hardstark liked inflammatory comments from people on Instagram, called others “dummies,” blocked them, and deleted negative comments.

Hardstark and Kilgariff have always claimed to be actively learning feminists, and...they used to respond well to criticism—for instance, updating their usage of “prostitute” to “sex worker” after being called out early on. But in the last six months, the hosts seem to have stopped taking criticism to heart. They’ve become defensive. Kilgariff and Hardstark use their own mental health struggles with addiction, depression, and anxiety as a free pass to speculate on the mental health of others.

[More out-of-control] fans have been implored by others to be more respectful; they harass people asking for respect by calling them triggered snowflakes and telling them to get over it. Kilgariff and Hardstark have done little to address this. The two episodes released after the archiving of the Facebook group said nothing about it. When they did address it in a late-August episode, they claimed the group was shut down because of one problematic Facebook post, calling it “the beginning and the end of it,” never noting how deep the problems were or what they were going to do to make them better.

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How Eminem's Stan Relates to Fan Culture in 2020

"Stan” has been listed by several outlets as one of the greatest rap songs ever recorded, and became a culturally significant term. But does the song accurately reflect the superfan culture that it ended up naming?

“We live in a society that leads by influence,” he notes. “There are a lot of people who don’t think for themselves and will latch on to someone to follow… With social media, we have easier access to celebrities, but the social distance enables the cyberbullying of both the artist and those who are not fans... It becomes a mob mentality.”

“There is a false narrative that celebrities [and] artists belong to us,” Allen says. “People feel entitled to their presence… If someone we stan doesn’t smile, wave, or acknowledge us, we immediately turn against them. It’s very much a selfish ideology… There is an internal struggle within the artist because they recognize that for a lot of people they do provide a sense of hope and influence. However, the lines can become very blurred.”

Really interesting read on 20 years of Eminem’s “Stan.” 

Some great listens from Fan of a Fan, a podcast about stan culture. 

https://audioboom.com/posts/5179002-dear-stan

https://audioboom.com/posts/6039628-stages-of-a-toxic-fandom

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Was going through some of your posts and was wondering what you mean when you say people bullied the guys to get picked? Is it about Joey’s Facebook stream or did I miss something?

In Chris and Joey’s lives, people affiliated with GWYA egg the guys on to pick them as contestants, i.e. calling the guys “cowards” to get their attention and hyping up the podcast or the Mission. Chris gave in once but he looked uncomfortable and he just ignores the attention-seeking now, but the name-calling still happens. GWYA folks usually get picked to play and I haven’t been as interested in joining the lives as I am not affiliated with either of those groups.

[winterfieid]

bitch we're children let us have fun

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Yes, it shows.

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Was going through some of your posts and was wondering what you mean when you say people bullied the guys to get picked? Is it about Joey’s Facebook stream or did I miss something?

In Chris and Joey’s lives, people affiliated with GWYA egg the guys on to pick them as contestants, i.e. calling the guys “cowards” to get their attention and hyping up the podcast or the Mission. Chris gave in once but he looked uncomfortable and he just ignores the attention-seeking now, but the name-calling still happens. GWYA folks usually get picked to play and I haven’t been as interested in joining the lives as I am not affiliated with either of those groups.

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Why are people blaming you for ending their podcast. It was their choice to end it. They announced it in the same way some celebs announce they’re leaving IG & then come right back. They presented it as the bully’s drove us to end it & therefore took it away from you guys to rally the angry mob and then sent them here. Just like the stans who defend their idol they don’t use logic and miss the whole story & most of the time will miss their idol essentially made the first move in the dispute

Very good question. If what was revealed on this blog is not a big deal, because “people do shit-talk others sometimes and IT’S OK,” why end the podcast over a non-issue?

With the multiple group chats where the hosts and friends trashed other people, their leaking of info Chris told them to keep private and hinting at in the FB group, their initial refusal to apologize for their mental health, adoption comments, etc., when you have a public platform and have a cult following and do those things, yeah, you’re bound to land in hot water and if you can’t deal with the heat maybe you shouldn’t be in the kitchen. If you tried to play both sides and got caught up in your lies, you only have yourselves to blame. Rage-quitting Removing the podcast off of Apple gives the hosts plausible deniability and a way to avoid giving a proper apology.

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Cuatro

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For a wk or so they stopped having fans on Joey’s lives, they were close to Joey’s circle. I assumed it was bc previous players from the Mission/GWYA circles plugged the groups & talked reunion. Joey seemed a bit annoyed it & the behavior in the comments. So it was a safe assumption. This wk 2 fans from the GWYA/Mission circle played. I know it seems it’s jealousy but Its not. I knew my chances were slim so I didn’t get frustrated until it seemed the cool kids were helping their friends out.

It’s not a petty concern. If the guys and their people are just going to keep picking contestants who are associated with GWYA or the Mission, what about casual fans who are not with either of those groups?

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I unfollowed the FB group & my mental health is better for it. GYWA used their connections to make an exclusive cool table of sorts. Mission NSYNC seems to have set up a table right next to it. The mean girl behavior from those at the cool table migrated to the FB & IG lives. It’s making them MUCH less fun. Bullying the guys to be picked is the complete opposite of “be kind” message that came when the podcast ended. There’s no camaraderie amongst fans. It’s the cool kids & the outcasts now.

Thank you for your honesty. Glad to hear you made that choice for your mental health. It’s unfortunate to learn GWYA’s cliquey-ness and exclusivity has carried over into the Mission NSYNC group. Other casual NSYNC fans who are not affiliated with GWYA or the Mission group should also be getting chances to participate in the guys’ FB and IG lives. That kind of behavior sounds at odds with the Mission group’s claims to be about “love and positivity.” It shows an unfortunate part of human nature—that people will overlook bad behavior if it means they can get closer to the guys :/

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Game Over masterlist

A handy-dandy guide to evidence of GWYA’s duplicity

Background and some words of support

Pushing a misleading narrative 

Part 1 – The source for Ashley and Christine’s grand “JC is the holdout” narrative

Part 2 – Ashley cherry-picking which info from their source to use on air and how to hint at it without giving too much away

Part 3 – Others are quick to believe Ashley and Chris’s version of events.  Questions challenging Ashley and Chris’s reasoning are mainly brushed aside

Part 4 – Don’t tell JC...that the hosts actually can’t stand him or his meddling fans 😯

Part 5 – Ashley pushing the narrative that JC’s the holdout by suggesting he’s a bad friend

Mental health insensitivity 

Part 1 - Details Ashley’s and Christine’s mental health comments that prompted pushback from listeners

Part 2 - Ashley’s reaction to listeners’ feedback, doubling down on mental health comments 

Parts 3 and 4 - Others in the chat laughing about people’s reactions to GWYA’s holdout narrative, reasoning it’s fine to discuss/speculate on JC’s mental health because they believe Justin has been unfairly criticized for years 

Part 5 - Ashley sort of agrees to take responsibility for the mental health comments, mostly believing them to be mere whining from JC fans about the holdout narrative. In GWYA’s eventual apology, the hosts try to minimize what they said about JC, while still promoting a one-sided narrative based on “sources”

Parts 6 and 7 - Just some examples of the kind of talk Ashley would encourage behind the scenes

Part 8 - “Mommy issues” discussion

Part 9 - Audio of GWYA’s mental health comments 

Disrespect to listeners and supporters

Parts 1 and 2 - Trashing others in the fandom. The people being snarked about in particular helped contribute content for GWYA and helped promote the podcast

Part 3 - Snark about the Mission *NSYNC group. This suggests GWYA saw the Mission group as possible competition, or were more interested in chasing clout and promoting grudges rather than the reunion they claimed to want

Part 4 - Patreon for the podcast. The highest tier charges people to come up with ideas for podcast episodes.

Parts 5 and 6 - Ashley just being rude to fans in the Facebook group and tasteless

Silencing of any dissenting views

Part 1 - Ashley equates valid criticism with “cancellation”

Part 2 - The hosts rally their followers to push down a negative iTunes review

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Critique pt. 3