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@cavalierco
Click here to get your info!
name: jesse
western star sign: aquarius
western element: air
chinese zodiac (animal): pig
chinese element: wood
divine number: 8
yin-yang symbol: yin
druid zodiac (tree): poplar tree
divine colour: blue
birthstone: amethyst
planet: saturn
day of the week: wednesday
season: winter
please DO NOT edit/modify 1 | 2 © YOU AHOLIC
[text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
(SMS: HEE) i only hope they’re not cheap ass sunglasses.
(SMS: HEE) also, what did you drink, because i need to get my hands on it.
Only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.
Unknown (via sngyeols)
bold what applies to your muse: flaws edition !
easily scared | whiny | repetitive | selfish | arrogant | easily excitable | too silly | stubborn | blank minded | overly cautious | loud | easily bored | untrustworthy | disloyal | manipulative | over sensitive | possessive | clingy | obnoxious | gullible | annoying | judgmental | tactless | merciless | unlucky | soft-hearted | sarcastic | reckless | paranoid | unsophisticated | pushy | self critical | smart-ass | solemn | erratic
(.♡.) I don’t think you’ll have to bail me from jail (.♡.) Maybe just pick me up from this guys house…
(SMS: TORI) aight, but i have the money to do it, in the event that you do fuck up that much in the future.
(SMS: TORI) ...you’re at some guy’s house? not in his bed, are you?
(SMS: TORI) send me your location and i’ll be there in 5 mins
I think Ed Sheeran is the man for covering this joint, it really shows his versatility, knowledge and appreciation for other musical artists. Tory Lanez is hood and from Toronto! So this is dope. Much respect to the Aquarius named Ed.
@caroire warranted a starter.
FOR A PERFORMER such as himself, instrumental and, for lack of a better word, subdued music aren’t typically genres in which he spends much of his time. Despite this, he, since a very young age, had achieved enough proficiency in piano that he could write his own songs. Such wouldn’t come as a surprise to any that are familiar with his occupation as frontman and songwriter of his group, However, what would come as a mild shock would be that he’d taken lessons in classical piano throughout his youth and part of his adolescence.
Perhaps it was just.. a right of passage for rich families to coerce their children into piano lessons. Whatever the reason, though, he took a liking to it, and utilized the skill often when composing. Such was the case that night in one of the university’s open practice rooms. Laptop, sheet music, pencils, and lined paper strewn about, his fingers glided over the keys with ease, humming along with a draft of a melody to the accompaniment. At least he was until he heard the door open behind him, the distraction causing his fingers to utter a dissonant - in the worst way possible - chord, the accompaniment now his monosyllabic remark, “Fuck.”
@h96momo warranted a starter.
AH, THE LIBRARY. Not a place of which he was particularly fond. It was a tad too quiet for his tastes, and smelled more like aging canvas and book bindings than, well, anything remotely fun, in even the slightest iota. The only time the youth would find himself within its confines was when he wanted to utilize his student discount on coffee. Not that he needed it, of course; he was more than well-to-do in terms of finances, but that’s not to say he was irresponsible with what he has. Extreme couponing isn’t exactly Jesse’s forté, but if he’s got a voucher or something to get a convenience for a smaller or no price at all, he’s not stupid.
His other motive for stumbling into the building at such a late hour was that he actually was going to do work and complete an assignment. He, due to his schedules and a severe condition that he so fondly deems selective participation, is one to put in minimal effort, only finishing tasks for university when they’re integral. Though, to his dismay, it appeared others felt the same way, judging by the lack of empty tables in the facility. He draped his bag over the back of a chair at the table of a young blonde, setting his iced beverage down as he spoke. “Sorry. No empty tables in this entire prison.”
"French fries or french fries? That is the question"
“ISN’T THE POINT of a question to, you know, ask a question? French fries, obviously. Why do you have to make such a truly baffling decision anyway?”
@bvbblex warranted a starter.
“ALL RIGHT, PIPSQUEAK. I don’t know what it’s gonna take for me to completely close my image with you around, but I feel like it’s going to happen.” The smaller of the two, quite honestly, had made a habit of getting on his nerves. It seemed he could never be pleased, and to Jesse, there was hardly anything more infuriating. He was never one to go out of his way to extend a helping hand to anyone, but both he and his wallet have done more than their fair share in terms of Jaehwan.
Honestly, it’s a wonder that he hasn’t kicked the smaller singer out of his apartment yet. For whatever reason, something about the other made Jesse keep him around. Nah, let’s stop lying to ourselves here. It’s ‘cause he’s hot, and you know it. “How much more am I gonna have to spend on you before you quit callin’ me cute? Plus, I thought we weren’t officially using the sugar daddy concept.”
( sms ) Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
texts from last night.
(SMS: SUE) no shit, captain obvious. you’re a genius.
(SMS: SUE) you do something stupid? more importantly, are there pictures?
[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
texts from last night.
(SMS: TORI) the fuck did you do this time?
(SMS: TORI) as long as i don’t have to bail your ass outta jail, we’re good.
texts from last night! meme
[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here [text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. [text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. [text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese [text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it [text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?” [text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? [text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. [text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.
[text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife. [text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops. [text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. [text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. [text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling [text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One. [text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”… [text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. [text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me [text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings. [text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug” [text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. [text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine [text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. [text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him [text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten [text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. [text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. [text] When was the last time you wore pants? [text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. [text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. [text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going? [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today. [text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition? [text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. [text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist? [text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special [text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention [text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin. [text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes [text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. [text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster [text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing. [text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on [text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant [text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. [text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat [text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? [text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out [text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game [text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire. [text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. [text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day. [text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship. [text] you traded sex for a burrito? [text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. [text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. [text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable. [text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest [text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box [text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. [text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka. [text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go [text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. [text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos” [text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you [text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style. [text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. [text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs [text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. [text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year [text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something. [text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. [text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted [text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. [text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? [text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. [text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! [text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. [text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. [text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok. [text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. [text] Because when I say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’ [text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. [text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed [text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. [text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone [text] never. drinking. again. [text] I’m gonna get drunk and throw up on the first happy couple I see. [text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now [text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction. [text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
"I don't suppose you have a pen, do you?"
meeting of the muses.
THE DIM LIGHTING of the bar, accompanied by the lofty smell on the beverages resting on the wood were his only company for the time being - and he would not have it any other way. The afternoon had been rather uneventful for Jesse, which was nice for a change, especially in the context of his fast-paced, stereo-blasting life. He leaned against the countertop, chin rested on his fist and his elbow rested on the mahogany. His free hand held his cellular, and he absentmindedly scrolled through social media to keep himself occupied.
However, the placidity of the solitude was short lived. He looked up at the sound of the female’s voice, brows raised in confusion. “A.. pen? I mean, I probably do.” His hand lazily searches one of his coat pockets, feeling around its contents until finally brandishing a black ink pen and setting it before him. “Got it.”
The "calls you a loser but is actually in love with you" squad
Aries, Taurus, Leo, SCORPIO, Capricorn, AQUARIUS