Mama Cax

Life on One

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On World Ocean’s Day I was in paradise as the sun greeted me in Province town, M.A  near a teal colored VW bus. I’ve often been hesitant to do in-country traveling. Going on vacation only felt like a getaway when I  crossed Oceans. But here I was 250 miles from New York City and this little town in Massachusetts proved me wrong.

Kin Travel and The International Fun for Animal Welfare (IFAW) invited me to Cape Cod for a long weekend of relaxation while learning about IFAW’s work to protect marine mammals. Kin Travel currently curates a couple of  travel experiences around the world however the one in Cape Cod is fitting for someone with very little time looking for a vacation with a purpose. With an intimate group of creatives, we sought out to explore : the perfect balance of a weekend filled with activities and relaxation time.  The first day, Everyone woke up at first light to do some yoga while I opted for a slow morning  of stretching in bed.

Our first meeting with IFAW experts was a brutal reminder of how we have not treated this planet with respect or that these organizations don’t get enough funding.  Cape Cod is one of 3 places where whale and dolphins get stranded in masses, which is attributed the the hook shape of the land near the coast  but also sand and mud flats. Sadly, it’s nearly impossible to save every animals that get stranded. It is often a race against time or severe weather for the rescue team, to treat the mammals and release them back in the ocean. IFAW’s work doesn’t end there, they constantly patrol the coast to find seals that have been caught in fishermen net or other plastics that wraps around their necks and slowly  strangles them. It is true what they say, not all heroes wear capes, and I got to meet a couple of superheroes. Our Time with IFAW didn’t end there as we embarked on a whale watching journey the next day.

I had sworn off group travels but heading to Cape Cod with Kin travel was not only informative but inspired me to find ways to help IFAW in its mission by reducing my use of plastic or pushing my elected officials to support and fund marine mammals.

The rest fo the trip was spent riding bikes, drinking rose, pop-up beach parties, drinking rose , slurping fresh oysters, drinking rose, sunset camping at the sand dunes and more rose. I ended the trip knowing that I had made some wonderful  friends but even more important a deep sense of responsibility to reduce my foot print and live a more environmentally friendly lifestyle. I could tell you more about my trip but I’d rather show you…

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Cape Cod with Kin Travel x IFAW On World Ocean’s Day I was in paradise as the sun greeted me in Province town, M.A  near a teal colored VW bus.

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Can we talk about how hard it is for people with shoe size 10 and up to find heels? I guess women are supposed to be delicate flowers with tiny ass feet. For anyone who knows the struggle all too well, I’ve made a list of brands who carry big sizes.

At age 10 I was already wearing size 10 shoes, As she forces my feet down a 9.5 my mother would say “ fòk ou mary on kòdonye wi!” (you need to marry a shoemaker). Back then, I was never into heels or proper shoes so I wore sneakers. However, as I entered my 20’s, my fashionista side came out.  In addition to struggling to find size 12 heels, wearing a prosthesis also limits the kind of heels I can wear:

Nothing higher than 3 inches

If they are boots , they need to have zippers

No thin or toothpick heels

I’m no expert but after 10 years of struggling, here  is a solid list of places to shop for beautiful statement heels.

For the shopper on a budget: 

Payless: Can’t expect to get great quality shoes from them but sometimes you find statement shoes and it’s great for a last minute go-to.

 Zappos and 6pm: have to spend countless hours looking but the prices are decent.

Target: Which I always pronounce with a French accent, (nothing but respect for my president.) you would be surprised by how many cute shoes they have, quality is not the best but for a last minute event, it can be a savior. (the kitten heels below are from Target)

Amazon is a gem if you use the right search term you will find something. I recently bought 4 pairs (red, yellow, blue & orange) of colorful gogo boots, which go up to a size women 16 btw, UNHEARD OF. (pictured below)

Mid price range:

Banana Republic goes up to a size 12

Nine West: they never have my size in stores so I never bothered checking out their website until recently when I spotted the boots below. Goes up to a 12

Shoes from Nine West

Shoes from Nine West

DSW: if you scroll long enough you will find a couple of statement shoes like the one im wearing in the photograph below.

Shoes from DSW

Able to splurge:

 IRINYC carries several unisex platform shoes, I currently own 2 pairs and I love how comfortable they are.

Miista unfortutaley carries up to a size 11 but I love their minimalist yet sttaemtn designs

Shopbop: a third party website that carried several brands

Syro: a  gender neutral shoe brand  created with queer folks in mind. They go up to a size 14 men (16 women)

Luxury: 

The real Real, is great for second hand luxury shoes they carry heels up to a size o13 but they go fast so if you see something jump on it. 

Stuart Weitzman not my top favorite but they carry up to Size 12

Maison Margiela: goes up to a size 11, I’m currently obsessed with their signature cow toe boots in red. Good news is that they have heels for men that go up to a size US men 13 aka US women 15 

Current favorites in size 11

  Transparent  Sandals from Zappos come in black or silver up to size 11. Snake skin or white booties from Zappos. These flowery boots are definitely a head turner, weather you’re heading to a sunflower field, road tripping down south or simply Autumning in NYC. These half teal half brown boots and these to-die-for Calvin Klein. and finally these classic pump, from Miista.

I really didn’t have trouble finding size 11 so let’s see some 12+ finds.

Current favorites in Size 12+

These beaut  with 3 1/4 heels in maroon. These 4in heels come in black matte, flowery red and fur and guess what they? go up to a size 13

These Sandals with amazing print currently have 13. If you have the luxury to splurge or a sugar daddy or two these Balenciaga boots could prob raise the dead. The gogo boots I previously mentioned come in a gazillion colors and go up to a size 16, I think they run a bit small, I bought size 12 and plan on exchanging for 13.

If you can wear heels higher than 3 inches, bravo,  your options will be wider than mine.

Tips:

Mama ain’t raise no fool so when you shop online, always filter by size that way you don’t get disappointed.

If you are delusional enough to go shop in stores, don’t waste your time looking around, ask someone who works there what’s  the biggest size they carry, they will probably say 10, say thank you and make a graceful exit.

ALWAYS check the men’s section. They are often more comfortable and if you happen to go to a party I guarantee no other woman will have the same shoes.

When you finally find your size don’t overthink, take it and go, you can always return them.

A brand might not have your size on their website but might sell their big sizes through a third party website, so  if you see shoes you like but not in your size google  style name + brand + the size you are looking for.

Don’t. sleep. on. Amazon

If you wear size 12, look for brands that cater to trans women or make gender neutral shoes or heels for men.

Don’t look for shoes when you need them. Women with big feet don’t have the luxury of going into random stores to find shoes last minute, therefore constantly look online and when you find a gem …refer to tip #4

Don’t be afraid to stop strangers  with big feet and ask them where they got their shoes.

Know your foreign sizing especially  Europe/Italy , UK and France. Several European brands wether it’s ASOS or luxury brand like Gucci and Maison Margiela carry big sizes. Problem is, they always have limited big sizes, by the time you’re googling the size conversion chart, someone has already clicked the purchase button. I know I sound dramatic but if you wear size 12 and up you know everyone your size is just following tip #4

Lastly, if you have some favorite places you get shoes from or more tips, comment them below or on my instagram under the picture announcing this post.

-Mama Cax

No country for boring shoes Can we talk about how hard it is for people with shoe size 10 and up to find heels?

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New York is synonymous with crowded venues, bustling sidewalks, and just never enough space. Body politics get even messier when you are a woman with a disability for public space frankly has not been constructed with your accessibility and emotional needs in mind. As we move into Fall, I’m reflecting on my recent opportunity to carve out a space for women with a range of disabilities to share our experiences and affirm our right to advocate for ourselves in ways that honors our integrity and dignity. This gathering was part of my partnership with Starbucks and rounded out my Self-Love Meetup Series.

In a show of how firmly women hold women up, the venue of the Meet-Up was held in a West 29th Street studio owned by fellow Creatives Coco & Breezy, founders of the eponymous Coco & Breezy eyewear company. The studio was brightly lit, plushy couch outfitted,  painted in warm peach tones and full of plants and the scent of soothing incense, all of which lent themselves to creating the first necessity of having space that meets the needs of disabilities: comfort.

The space reflected the mood of the Meetup which was more intimate, both because of the small number of those gathered and what we had gathered to talk about: the realities of women with disabilities in a world that is just beginning to see us in the fullness of our humanity. As we talked and shared personal experiences, we kept coming back to how a big part of navigating the world with a disability is finessing how you are going to get what you need and want from the world. Jillian Mercado called it “infiltrating industries from the inside to lift up people who are deserving but have been made invisible.”

When you have a disability you have to become your biggest advocate, it is a choice we make out of necessity so we are not overlooked by the world. Similarly, as women, who spend so much of our lives giving of ourselves unto others, we have to learn how to prioritize our needs. Like prioritizing spending time with friends who understand, or prioritizing #treatyourself on behalf of the Starbucks Rewards Visa Card which we used that day to create a light spread of sweets, proteins and greens.

One thing we all iterated in our stories is self love really is just about knowing when enough is enough, what you are willing to entertain and what insults your soul. Self love is about knowing YOU are enough. Point. Blank. Period.

  Chase credit cards are issued by Chase Bank USA, N.A.

  Summer Self-Love meet up #2 (sponsored by Starbucks New York is synonymous with crowded venues, bustling sidewalks, and just never enough space. Body politics get even messier when you are a woman with a disability for public space frankly has not been constructed with your accessibility and emotional needs in mind.

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With the arrival of fall, I’m reminiscing on the summer and how the warm weather months always prompt a resurgence of the insecurities women feel about their bodies. The pressure to have a “summer body” or “beach body” suddenly permeates the air, the feeds and the mind, as if the body you inhabit should be strangely interchangeable depending on the temperature. With so much anti-body, anti-self, and anti-positivity in the air, my July 28th Self-Love Meet-Up was nothing short of apropos. Thank you to Starbucks for sponsoring this event and ShopBando + CRWN Mag for providing additional items for our goodie bags.

The weather broke from its pattern of thunderstorming -#blessed- so it was nothing but blue skies, sun rays and an unspoken consensus in the air to soak up as much good as possible. As guests arrived for our picnic style Meet-up, all the pieces began to fall into place: Union Square Park, check! Friends, check! A brunch inspired spread, I grabbed with my Starbucks Rewards Visa Card that helps me meet the needs of any small or grand get-together, Check! Check! Check!

We began with light yoga meant ease tensions and traumas carried in the body, from there we expelled our insecurities onto paper and then, passed them on to someone else but in an exercise to put them down but also to engage with the reality that for the most part, we’re all insecure about the same things. These things majority of the time being physical and related to our appearance and how we believe people are perceiving us. On the flip side, when we discussed the things we loved about ourselves those things were intangible, things no one can take away from us.

In the end we realized, the power really is in us to control what standard we allow ourselves to be judged against. As Scarlett Hao said, “Clothes were made for us, not us for clothes. Once clothes are making us change or making us uncomfortable then we need to redistribute the power lines.” The standard needs to open, to expand and become wide enough to fit all the many different ways that okay to have a body and express self.

Confidence, we all agreed, gets easier as we get older. We all know that kids don’t care, it’s one the best things about them; they’re fearless and without shame. But as soon as kids get into that muddy space of childhood and up, its becomes so important to instill self love in them because the world most definitely won’t.

We’ve all got just one body, the body that carries us and keeps us. Be kind to your body;  thank it for supporting you, regardless of the season.

*Chase credit cards are issued by Chase Bank USA, N.A.

  Self Love meetup (1) Sponsored by Starbucks With the arrival of fall, I’m reminiscing on the summer and how the warm weather months always prompt a resurgence of the insecurities women feel about their bodies.

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*This post is an ad for Starbucks. All opinions are my own.

New York City is undoubtedly the fastest city in the world. We walk fast, we take quick lunches, and we don’t take enough time to admire all of the beauty the city has to offer. One day I glanced at my calendar and noticed that everything was work related; meeting, work events yet not one hangout with friends or my usual girls night. Using Starbucks’ new Visa card, I decided to plan a staycation in Brooklyn with some of my favorite girls, from our version of a luxury picnic, to a DIY nail spa and a relaxing morning poolside.

At least once a week, you’ll find me at Starbucks store getting my favorite: Green Tea Frappuccino with no added sugar and whip cream on top. The new Starbucks Rewards Visa Card allows you to earn Stars when you shop anywhere  and enjoy Rewards. The card gives you exclusive access to Barista Picks eight times a year. With all these benefits it was a no brainer to get all of our picnic bites from Starbucks.

The waterfront park lies on the Brooklyn side of the east River, therefore no better spot for my picnic. I had my friends Al and Illy meet me at Brooklyn Bridge park where I surprised them with a “luxury” picnic. We laid over a moroccan rug with colorful pillows, surrounded by flowers, my favorite faux cactus and refreshing drinks. With the view, it could have easily been a romantic picnic set up.

Our conversations are certainly more in-depth and meaningful when our hangouts goes past a quick brunch or an evening drink at a bar. We talked about relationships, plans for the future and current projects we are working on. The picnic was great but not enough time to bond properly and definitely not as relaxing as what I had in store for the rest of the weekend.

My plan was to have a movie night but I think we were so tired, we fell asleep the  minute our heads hit the pillows. At the first morning light we woke up refreshed and energized. I introduced the girls to my at home nail spa; my personal collection of vibrant nail polish- because who doesn’t take the time to match their nails to their drinks

As one of the girls exclaimed she didn’t feel as if her body was ready for summer, (and of course I told her she could ditch her swimsuit and wear a dress instead)- it made me realize that I have been using social media to advocate for body positivity and self- love yet I have never met most of my followers in real life. This is why I teamed with Starbucks for two body positive meetups. I gathered some of my favorite body positive advocates for some much needed conversation. The goal was to motivate everyone to realize that no matter the body you have you can and will enjoy the summer. The second meetup brought together women with disabilities to explore topics like, sexuality, dating and body image at the intersection of disability. So lookout for a recap of both meetups coming soon.

We ended our summer staycation pool side, knowing that this magical weekend would soon come to an end but hopeful that we will try to do this more often. Your staycation doesn’t have to break the bank. You can opt to organize a movie night and at-home spa at your house then organize a picnic the next day. The most challenging thing can be carrying all your picnic items, personally I wanted to create a magical space– between bringing, a rug, 7 mini pillows, flowers, vases, picture frames and a picnic basket I really didn’t have space to carry the food. Luckily, near the park and the hotel we were at walking distance from a Starbucks store so I was able to use the App to Mobile Order and Pay for certain items and pick them up.

Take it slow this summer and if you’re not able to go away, remember that a staycation can be just as good. I look forward to meeting some of you at the body positive meetups this summer.

-Mama Cax

  Summer staycation using Starbucks’ new Visa card *This post is an ad for Starbucks. All opinions are my own. New York City is undoubtedly the fastest city in the world.

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This is how you grow your inner wallflower and see it flourish.

This is how you grow your inner wallflower and see it flourish.

It’s easy to feel invisible when you live in a big city. Standing out doesn’t have to be everyone’s goal but it certainly has it’s perks, regardless of the setting.

As a creative I like to play around with patterns and colors, matching my prosthetic covers to my outfit while wearing colorful eyeliners and bold jewelry. While this is my way of showcasing my over the top and  fun personality, it…

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Summer staycation using Starbucks’ new Visa card

Summer staycation using Starbucks’ new Visa card

New York City is undoubtedly the fastest city in the world. We walk fast, we take quick lunches, and we don’t take enough time to admire all of the beauty the city has to offer. One day I glanced at my calendar and noticed that everything was work related; meeting, work events yet not one hangout with friends or my usual girls night. Using Starbucks’ new Visa card, I decided to plan a staycation…

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Gold leg = Gala ready

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Eye makeup game strong

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Bold is beautiful

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Uber #WhereTo : Switzerland, Winter Wonderland

You know that feeling of being stuck? Feeling suffocated in your own city? Well New York can feel that way, and for me that always seems to happen in the Winter. Making the decision to fly to Zurich was a bit random but seeing that I’d be able to visit a couple of friends, see the beautiful alpine mountains and go dog sledding, I could not have picked a better winter getaway. Only 4 hours before…

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Christian’s Closet

My grand-father Christian, was born in a small village town Called Pilate. In the 70’s, Haiti was governed by a ruthless dictator— as things got heated in the capital, Grandpa was elected Mayor of Pilate. Years after he passed, as Haitian custom had it, one night my sisters and I gathered in the lakou (backyard) for bedtime stories. Under a moonlit lakou, we heard the amazing tales of grandpa,…

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The strange world of transabled & devotees

The strange world of transabled & devotees

  I’ve always said that anything you can imagine that does not defy the laws of physics, somewhere, somehow it’s happening. Go ahead imagine the craziest thing ever….yep! it’s happening somewhere! There are two communities you get acquainted to as an amputee (or generally as a disabled person); Transabled & Devotees   Transabled An abled body person with a “desire or the need to identify as…

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Skin care regimen

Until the age of 25 I was fortunate to have impeccable skin. I’d do a full face makeup on a Friday, party until Saturday morning, head to brunch then go shopping for a new outfit to party on Saturday night. Besides a lipstick change, I wouldn’t thoroughly wash my face for a couple of days. In retrospect I realize how unsanitary this was but I was young and wild. Now that I am in my late 20’s, my…

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London: Winter/fall must have on the blog now https://mamacax.com/2017/03/07/london-fallwinter-must-have/

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After an amputation, your nerves continue to send signals to the brain. Most amputees will tell you even after amputation, they can move their fingers or wiggle their toes even though they don’t have these body parts. For this reason, many amputees suffer from phantom pain/sensation. “Phantom limb pain refers to mild to extreme pain felt in the area where a limb has been amputated.” …… Using the hashtag #MyPhantomPain, I’ve asked some of my favorite bionic divas to explain what their phantom pain feels like and what they do to make it better. Read their stories -> https://mamacax.com/2016/11/30/myphantompain/