still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples
A farmer, by hand and with love and care
wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking
old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

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@ravenwingedmonster
still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples
A farmer, by hand and with love and care
wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking
old mccuckhold had a farm it seems
You know, every time I draw something stupid, I think to myself "surely I can't top this!" And then somehow I draw something even dumber
Edit: NOOO NOO WHY IS THIS GETTING NOTES??? STOP IT!! ONLY LIKE 10 PEOPLE WERE SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS AND THEN ID BURY IT UNDER MY REPOSTS NOOO
we kill the bat man
my dead wife. the ad free internet
Saw this twitter post and instantly started looking for pictures of Stratt to use it with
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
Happy moon day to all who celebrate
This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.
where's that picture that ruined my life
found it
this comic did the same thing
every time a new hyperfixation finds me, it finds me like this
Virgo by Artem Chebokha
Wait what the fuck
Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.
So, Cheeseburger died on November 21st after an unfairly short battle with an unfairly rare cancer that is rarely seen in cats. I only got to spend a month with him after his diagnosis, and losing him has been the greatest heartbreak of my entire life so far. He was my best friend and my soul cat, and he was there for me when I was completely alone, for twelve long years.
I made this transparent PNG the night he died in preparation for one of the many ways I was going to memorialize him--a surface rug in his likeness that I planned on laying directly in the line of his favourite sunbeam. And I uploaded that PNG here, because this is the website where people post their cats.
I was not expecting the reception I got. Many people have pointed out that this post has more reblogs than likes, and how insane that is in 2025 when reblog culture is at an all time low. I didn't even talk about the fact that Burger passed away in the original post, it wasn't a tearjerker reblog bait or anything like that. People just loved Burger that much, in the same way I fell in love with him at first sight. He was such an ugly kitten.
Anyways, it's really special to me that so many people have reblogged my best friend. I made this PNG to memorialize him in a completely different way, and you all wound up doing just that in ways I never even imagined.
Thank you. Wherever he is, I know the sun is shining.
"Jane, I need you."
"It's nice to be needed. Anything for you, Lisbon."
Idc! Teresa Lisbon x Patrick Jane foreverrrr!!! They had the chemistry, ok? Hetgem frfr
jamr0ll:
This never stops being hilarious
Do you love the color of the–
HONK
Teresa Lisbon: not my circus, I don’t even have a circus, but that monkey is mine now (sighs) and he used to be in a circus… still acts like it too
Patrick Jane:
Me, in a previous post: an au where Rose cuts her hair off and strigoi Dimitri is pissed.
Me, in a different post: Dimitri has a lock of Rose's hair.
My brain: Combine these!
In this au, Rose likes to braid her hair before training and after their first lesson, Dimitri points out that her braid is all messed up and crooked.
The next time they meet, Dimitri offers to help her and ends up doing a perfect braid.
It becomes part of their routine. Before each training session, Dimitri will gently braid Rose's hair, his fingertips skim longingly along her neck and spine during his moments of weakness. Then after each session, he helps her undo the braid while they cool down and discuss what moves to work more on.
During the cabin scene, Dimitri tenderly unbraids her hair, his lips grazing the back of her neck, his fingers tracing down her spine.
Afterwards, she asks him to redo her braid so they can steal an extra moment together. Dimitri agrees and once he's finished, he gently tugs on her braid three times, a silent I love you.
When they're attacked by stigoi in the woods and Dimitri gives her the code word, they don't have time for one more kiss, but Dimitri does have time to caress her braid, his eyes burning with a silent message that Rose understands. He's reminding her that the braid is part of her Guardian uniform. He's telling her to be the warrior she was born to be and she does exactly that when she defends the school.
Before the caves, Rose pulls Dimitri aside and presses something soft into his hand. Dimitri looks down and sees a coil of Rose's hair, set into a thin braid.
Rose: I know you once told me to never cut it, but it was only a small section and it's for good luck.
Dimitri raises the lock to his lips and kisses it before kissing Rose.
Dimitri: Hmm... I was wondering why you took your braid from the cabin out.
Rose: How did you know I took my braid out?
Dimitri: Because Roza, when I braid your hair, it never comes out crooked like your current one.
Rose rolls her eyes affectionately then turns her back to Dimitri: Well, you better hurry up and fix it Comrade, we've got strigoi to hunt down.
Rose's braid on the trip to the caves is perfectly straight and neat. Meanwhile, Dimitri has one hand in his duster pocket, fiddling with a smaller, messy version.
A horrific battle take place in the caves, everyone too distracted trying to survive to notice Dimitri has a lock of dark hair wrapped around his knuckles while he clutches his silver stake.
When Dimitri opens his new red eyes, he sees another strigoi standing over him, toying with a familiar braid, musing about how wonderful it smells and how delicious a meal it's owner might make. Those are the last words that strigoi ever says and Dimitri guards that lock of hair obsessively, knowing it's owner would be so much more than just a delicious meal if given the chance...
Rose hasn't taken her braid out since the caves. How could she? It was the last thing Dimitri did for her and she couldn't take it out until he was rescued, until he was with her again to redo it. She needed him back to help her braid her hair. She needed him back to watch her kick ass in her qualifiers. She needed him back so they could be Lissa's Guardians together. She needed him back to love her. She needed him back...
Then Mason appears and confirms Rose's worst fear. Dimitri wasn't coming back. So, knowing that she now has a promise to keep, Rose says goodbye to Lissa, gets a plane ticket, and grabs a pair of scissors.
Dimitri has been hearing rumors of a rouge Guardian loose in Russia, torturing and killing strigoi. At first, he's certain it's Rose, but after one strigoi returns, reporting that the Guardian had short hair, he's not as confident. Rose wouldn't cut her hair, she would never, but Dimitri can't fight the nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe, he isn't the only one of them with a new look.
Dimitri stands in the shadows, watching Rose spin and laugh in the middle of the street beside a human woman. His eye sight is flawless, he can see with perfect clarity that all her wavy locks have been cut off and he hates it.
Then he gets closer to her, she hesitates, and he hates it even more. His Roza would never cut her hair. His Roza would never hesitate. But as pissed as he is, he knows there's an easy solution. His Roza would come back to him and she would be improved, immortal, he was certain of that. First, he just needs to buy some time with Galina so Rose can correct her impulsive and stupid mistake...
Rose lives in a euphoric daze. She counts time not in days or even hours, but by how often Dimitri comes to her. How often she feels the divine rush of his fangs sinking into her flesh...
Then Adrian appears in her dreams and she wakes up. Looking at herself in the mirror, Rose is shocked. She sees the dark circles under her eyes. She sees the bruises and bite marks covering every inch of her neck. But perhaps most shocking of all is her hair. It had grown so long, it was almost back to the same length it had been before. When had that happened? Why hadn't she noticed?
That night, terror rolls through her when Dimitri's hand combs through the loose waves, brushing them aside so his fangs can scrape along her neck. "Finally" He breaths in relief, not noticing Rose wince as he bites down.
The night Rose escapes, it's raining. As they face off on the bridge, Dimitri can smell her adrenaline, her blood, and the rain soaking her long hair. She is wild and fierce. Her eyes burning. Her heart pounding. Her hair the perfect length. She is his Roza again and Dimitri knows that if she doesn't surrender to him, then only one of them is walking away tonight.
As the water rushes up around Dimitri and drags him under, he can feel the searing pain over his heart and the braid, a token of luck, desperately clutched in his hand.
When Rose returns to her life, she stops wearing her hair in a braid. Why shouldn't she? Her fight is over, after all, her heart is broken, and she could never quite get it to look right anyway. So, with her waves loose and wild, she passes the final tests, graduates, and then opens a mysterious package containing a silver stake.
Dimitri has been watching, waiting, planning and he knows that one way or another, things will end in this warehouse but even he's not prepared for the blinding white light that engulfs him.
He tries hard not to look at her while he sits in that cell. He tries so hard but he fails and the sight of her shakes his very core. She's just as he remembers. Determined. Fierce. Wild. Beautiful. Her hair loose, framing her face and cascading down her back. His fingers twitch with the urge to run his hands through it, to be close to her again, but then he remembers the last time he touched her hair in Russia and he feels sick.
Dimitri watches Rose silently shatter as his words sink in "Love fades. Mine has" and a small part of him longs for the little braid she had pressed into his hand when everything still made sense, a token of luck, of love and comfort, but it was gone, taken from him when he had been restored and arrested.
They're traveling together, hiding together, and Rose feels like she's going insane. His words from the church relentlessly play over and over again in her mind but there are moments when she sneaks glances at him from behind a curtain of her hair and she'll find him already watching her with something that looks like longing.
Dimitri knows he shouldn't be looking at her but he can't stop himself. Gradually, one heartbeat at a time, he had begun feeling again and ever since that night when he saw her hair in the moonlight and was reminded of all the beautiful moments they shared, well, he knew he couldn't deny it anymore. He was still in love with her. He would always be in love with her.
The words pour from his mouth like a sacred confession and he watches her body tense and her eyes widen as she processes the meaning. Then she's moving closer and closer until they're touching. He body radiating heat against his, her hair falling around him. He's enveloped with her scent, her taste, her love.
Rose can feel Dimitri running his hands through her hair and she revels in the sensation. His hands in her hair, his body moving against hers, his scent mixing with her own, his taste captivating her tongue. She revels in all of it. Revels and then demands more. More. More. More.
Dimitri gently runs his fingertips through Rose's hair and across her body, relishing in the warmth of her, knowing that she is resting with her head on his chest, listening to his heart and savoring every beat and the words he spoke to her at the cabin return to him, just as true in this moment as they were then.
"I love you, Roza. I'll never let anything happen to you. Never again."
Silently, Rose rises from her place on the bed, riffles through the nightstand drawer until she finds a sewing kit and takes out the scissors and a spool of red thread.
Dimitri watches silently as Rose haphazardly braids a small section of her hair, carefully cuts it then ties it off with the thin thread.
She repeats his words back to him, a loving vow, while tying the braid around his wrist. Then, to her surprise, she watches as Dimitri takes the scissors and thread from her and does the same.
They climb out of the car, ready to go to court and end this mess once and for all and Rose is a nervous, Spirit wracked mess. So, after discreetly tugging on Dimitri's duster and pulling him aside, she asks for his help with a braid.
Now with a silver charm around her neck, Dimitri's braid around her wrist and her own hair battle ready, Rose is able to enter the mass of Moroi fearlessly and deliver the truth.
Dimitri hears the shot echo through the room and sees Rose not hesitate to place herself between Lissa and the danger and for a moment, a very brief moment, he's proud of her but then he watches her body crumple and fall to the floor. Dark red, the same color as the thread on both their wrists, blooms across her chest and slowly creeps out from underneath her, staining the polished tile and soaking into her hair.
Dimitri watches Rose sleep in the hospital bed, her skin still a little pale but at least the blood had been washed from her hair, thanks to Lissa. Now it was sprawled around her, damp and drying while a rhythmic beeping marked each heartbeat. Just as she had done mere hours ago, Dimitri listened and cherished the sound.
When Rose opens her eyes, she feels a familiar warmth encasing her hand, Dimitri's voice near her head and as her vision focuses, she sees him next to her, his eyes tired but relief in his smile.
"Sleeping Beauty awakens."
Rose gently squeezes his had then smiles mischievously before opening her mouth.
"Pretty sure Sleeping Beauty got a kiss when she woke up, Comrade."
Dimitri chuckles, he wasn't sure exactly what to expect when Rose woke up, but her flirty response tells him that she's going to be just fine.
So, mindful of her still healing injuries, Dimitri tenderly slips a hand into his Roza's hair and kisses her sweetly.