Free fall.

[ccoleeeeenn]

120121

kuya. umabot ka pa sa palit ng dekada. i am so fucking proud of u for fighting. hanggang dulo lagi mo pa rin ako binabantayan. hanggang dulo, i was so sure na ako yung alaga mo and not the other way around. hanggang dulo, tinotoo mo na kung nasan ako e nandon ka rin. hinaharot lang kita lagi, pero ako binabantayan mo kahit puyat ka na kasi puyat rin ako. di ko alam kung anong nasa isip mo kuya, pero salamat. it will always comfort me na alam kong sasamahan mo ko habambuhay if ur life werent so short. kahit natae ako kailangan dun ka hihiga sa tapat ng cr. ganon ka kalambing. ewan ko ba. lab na lab na lab kita kuya. i hope it didnt hurt u to see me so hurt watching u. gustuhin ko man maparamdam sana sa ‘yo na happy thoughts lang even when u were dying, it was just too painful kuya it broke my heart too much. i will miss you for the rest of my life. and wherever u r right now, sana masaya ka, may memories ka man ng buhay mo dito o wala. sana malaya at masaya 'yang soul mo. i love you i love you i love you

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“I want to tear up the earth until I find you,”

— Miguel Hernández, from Selected Poems; “Elegy,” wr. c. January 1936

[poeticallyemm]

Dare to grow through the darkness.

– poeticallyordinary

[vomitingwords]

So, I am sorry,

for I do not

always speak

everything

that’s on my mind,

because sometimes

people refuse to hear

what they don’t want

to understand.

Closed Mouth, Open Mind //ma.c.a

[doggosource]

11/10 a good doggo posing for his hooman’s insta 

[baconpolice]

Yall forgot the final product.

[ccoleeeeenn]

Thefuk i love dogs

[ccoleeeeenn]

Sometimes i feel like they think im an idiot, but im usually just too tired to explain. This isnt a problem per se, but when it comes to the people that matter, my fucking gods does it become troublesome and truly stupid on my part but im still too tired to care. Fuck diz huhu

[deadly-danaid]

You can pretend you don’t care–

ignore your calls and move far away.

But there was a time you swore to never leave.

A time when you joked that I couldn’t get rid of you, that I was stuck.

But now I really am stuck.

While you were busy running away, I fooled myself into thinking “just one more day”.

One more became 2 months || Monica Lynn

[ccoleeeeenn]

Tell me how do i fucking recover from this. Puta sobrang mind fuck

[oddfilmstills]

[ccoleeeeenn]

wow im actually shaking emotionally ha

for a while back it was nice pretending that i wasnt

[ccoleeeeenn]

good god i almost forgot how immensely therapeutic it feels to be alone. ive taken my time being stuck in the moments where ive feared to be left by myself and i remember how lately ive been longing for the days that it felt good to be alone. and i think now, now it happened. and oh my fucking god it really does feel good.

now i know for sure that there’s certainly some really fucking great blessings in this world that will remind you to keep on chasing the things you truly love.

and tangina, how mistaken i was for thinking that i couldnt love art because i didnt do good enough. fuck im so done with that corny mindset

oh my fucking god my soul feels light. oh my god im never gonna trade this capability to feel so much love for the little things huhuhu im so elated i want to cry

[psantanico-deactivated20210108]

true love is in friendship remember that

[studyandstorms-deactivated20250]

I cannot stress this enough- Build a routine. Build Habits. Wake up every day and get used to being productive, one day at a time. Do this for long enough and eventually you’ll be at your goal without even realising it. 

[thelovejournals]

It’s the kind of kiss that inspires stars to climb into the sky and light up the world.

Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me (via thelovejournals)

[betterthankanyebitch]

Solange Knowles

[ccoleeeeenn]

deeply personal

fuk ang hirap makaramdam ng early signs of existential crisis and subsequent stress sa posisyon ko ngayon at lyf while trying to be ur own voice of reason na sasabihan mo sarili mo to not open that door kasi mas wala kang mararating holy fucking shit para akong may maliit na anghel at demonyo sa magkabilaang balikat ko parang sa tom and jerry hayup and im trying to ditch and not ditch everything kasi ang hirap talaga pag di mo alam kung san ka magsisimula and i cant figure out if i should be mad or disappointed at myself or give myself a break and it always feels like the second is so much better but then u realize u might be giving urself too much too many breaks so ur back at square one again figuring out what the hell u should be doing pero sa totoo lang alam mo naman talaga and that is to face what youve been dodging all this time in my case e yung tanginang sp (aka thesis na lite kumbaga lol) at which point i begin to look for anything to blame, yung adviser ko, yung fact na di ko alam yung technology na pinapagamit sa 'kin and i could use my adviser's help big time kaso di rin nya alam so basically moral support and general advise lang kaya niyang ibigay sakin tulad ng study habits na dapat kong iapply if i really want to finish this paper pero tangina alam ko kasi yung kailangan ko and that is the first specific step to do at clues sa mga keywords or anything to lead me to a concrete step one holla. Which then leads me to the fact na kailangan ko na nga ata magpalit ng adviser and thats a little too late now if i do that im gonna have to push for another sem which might be whats bound to happen pa rin kung di ako magpapalit ng adviser AT di ko bubuuhin yung loob ko na kaya ko to kahit with minimal help from my adviser. Or i just continue with being miserable lyk right now: cant i just graduate without doing a major study di naman ako mag aapply sa trabaho na may ganyan sa job description huta putanginang sp kasi to di naman mahuhusgahan ng isang research paper ang paggraduate ko huta gudby.

rant end. will now commence stalking newly graduated friends and convince myself if they can do it, i can to tangina such tiwala boi

i can do better than this, better than being miserable. Go on pep talk urself, self. I can do this hutangina hahaha ge puta

[smspoetry]

“why should i be expected to put my womanhood in a straitjacket when it’s men who cannot keep their hands to themselves?”

- smspoetry (burn your fucking bra)