refined

accidental demise

(...)

It was neither the time nor place for kissing, or at least Sungjong would have thought it wouldn’t be, both of them being covered in blood, Sungjong having just killed, and captured the man who had already captured Sungjong’s heart. That, however, didn’t really matter as Howon’s words floated into his head and bounced around inside his skull, reverberating and reiterating that Howon had wanted to kiss him for a while now - it seemed too good to ever be true, and Sungjong half expected to have had some awful head trauma befall him, and currently be deeply unconscious, dreaming up these ridiculously perfect situations in which Howon felt the same.

“I’m dreaming… Aren’t I?” He had, by now, all but forgotten Sunggyu stood in the background - though he wasn’t even sure if he was still there anymore, or if he’d left to give them privacy.

#thread. accidental demise #ccsungjong

Howon shook his head at the other’s words, before pulling Sungjong into yet another hug. His eyes closed as he nuzzled his nose into the other’s hair and let out a sigh of relief. The other didn’t push him away, didn’t yell or scream at him and it was something that he relished in. His arms were tight around Sungjong’s form, unwilling to release him. He just wanted to hold Sungjong there for a few more minutes before they probably had to leave.

After all, he was still covered in his own blood.

Moments later he pulled back; not before leaving a small kiss upon Sungjong’s cheek and smiling slightly. “Let’s go to yours? I don’t think Hyung would appreciate me dirtying up his place…” Even though Sunggyu was long gone, he knew the other wouldn’t like the mess. If Eunji decided to pay a surprise visit - well they’d be screwed..

So slowly, he moved and pulled Sungjong up to his feet, before wrapping his arm around Sungjong’s waist.

accidental demise

(...)

A watery scoff passes his lips and Sungjong wants to throw up - Howon was gross, he was always gross, and he really didn’t like how he should have judged him so hard for that, but it only made the butterflies bat against his ribcage more furiously. It was no longer delicate though, it felt like their wings were razors, cutting into him from the inside out. It hurt, but could he expect anything else? Sungjong was never right for anyone. He didn’t deserve Howon as a friend let alone as anything more. Wanting it was foolish, Sungjong was foolish.

He was special to him. It should have made him smile, comforted him, but it was bittersweet. Sungjong was such a good friend, he was great. He just wasn’t good enough to be a romantic interest - he knew that, he didn’t need to be told it. He didn’t even know why the realisation had hit him so hard, but it was just there, as Howon sat drenched in his own blood. It was so blatant that his eyes lacked the feelings Sungjong desired to see in them.

“Okay… Yes, yes okay.” It was all he could reply, sniffling and wiping angrily at his tears - he was pathetic. Choi ‘pathetic’ Sungjong.

#ccsungjong #thread. accidental demise #fuck i'm in a rush bc dogs #BUT HERE

Howon couldn’t stop his hands from raising up to cup Sungjong’s, couldn’t help but wipe away the tears that still lingered down his cheeks. A sigh left him, relieved that the other was still willing to be around him - even after knowing who Howon was, what he was. It was like a weight was taken off his shoulders. He stayed like that for a few moments, gazing into Sungjong’s still red eyes, before his body moved on it’s own.

Sungjong’s lips were soft, just like the rest of him - they tasted of salt, probably due to the tears, but Howon couldn’t care less. He found himself pressing closer to the younger, lips firmly against his own. He wanted to show Sungjong how much he really did care. When he leaned back, he waited the others reaction, after all he had just kissed Sungjong without even asking.

But he had to.

“Jongie?” he mumbled, “Was that okay, that I did that? If it wasn’t, I’m sorry. I just really … needed to, you know? I’ve wanted to for a while and can’t keep myself from...expressing myself.”

accidental demise

#ccsungjong #thread. accidental demise

ccsungjong:

(....)

Without Howon, now, Sungjong didn’t think he’d be able to function. He’d gone from being someone who annoyed Sungjong beyond belief, to someone he tolerated easily, to someone he ended up being unable to live without. He knew just how dangerous that was though, relying on him, when Howon didn’t need, or want Sungjong the way Sungjong needed and wanted him.

His soft voice, the touch to his cheeks, the nickname - it all had his chest aching, the hatred he buried under all his false-confidence slithering back to the surface for a second. Pathetic. It was easy to ignore when coming from someone else, but when directed at himself, by himself, that wasn’t something he was able to brush off as easily.

“I… I don’t want to control you- I don’t know what I’d have done if you… If you had been gone permanently.”

“Honestly, I wouldn’t mind much if you controlled me. I’ve never been too good with my temper - but I’m glad it was you who captured me.” He speaks lowly, voice soft just because he can tell how fragile the other is right now. It’s all a shock to Sungjong - to Howon as well, but he’s better at hiding it. At pretending that Sungjong being a magical boy didn’t surprise him so much. He shifts slightly, the blood stained on his clothes caused the fabric to stick to him, he squints his eyes a moment before raising his hand to brush back his own hair.

“I’m here though,” he reminds the younger, “I’m here and It’s thanks to you. Even if you were the one who sent me in my card. You brought me back, remember that.”

Choi Sungjong has saved Howon in a way that the boy will never now. He’s given him reason to stick around the younger as well, other than being his friend - now he has the other as a ‘Master’ someone he must stick to like glue. It’s a lovely feeling actually, he doesn’t mind it at all. When he lowers his hand, it goes to reach for Sungjong’s, gripping it tightly.

“Please don’t cry for my sake anymore, your tears… I don’t deserve them. Even though I’m nice now, I wasn’t always. Maybe I needed those bullets pierced through me, maybe I needed a taste of my own medicine. I’ve caused so much trouble in the past Jongie you don’t even realize. But you’ve saved me from that in a way. Kinda like a guardian angel. You’ve always been a bit angelic, so it makes sense.”

His teasing isn’t working, he knows it - but he tries at least.

“Just let me stay by your side if you don’t want to control me? I like being with you, in any way you want. I want to be with you. It’s selfish of me I know, but I’ve always been a little selfish you know? It’s a nasty habit; but I don’t seem to give a fuck right now - about that. Not when it involves you. Dammit - You’re really something, you know that right? That you’re something so fucking special to me? I … Let me stay by your side? Sungjong, please.”

slow life;lhw

#guess who replied le gasp #para.slow life #ccwoohyun

ccwoohyun:

In a way, Woohyun really appreciates that Howon isn’t treating him any different. Sure, he’s being careful with his words and keeping an eye on him more than usual but he’s not seeing him as a cripple. He’s still being treated like a regular person, as a best friend land for that he’s grateful. Woohyun actually cracks a smile at that, rolling his eyes at the response. “Thank god for small mercies then” he says, smacking the other’s leg lightly with one of the crutches. Walking through the hospital hallways, a wave of relief passes through him because he’s finally going to bring back some sense of normalcy. What happened to him won’t be forgotten and he bears a permanent mark of that but for now, he just wants to pretend. Wants to pretend that everything can go back to the way it was before. “Chicken with a giant tub of gravy should hit the spot really. Maybe even some french fries.” It’s a bit of a struggle to get into the passenger seat, trying to not let his ankle bump into anything and trying to balance without the use of his crutches. Once he’s settled, Woohyun hands the other his crutches and waits for the other to get into the driver’s seat so they can drive away. The sooner they leave, the better.

He closes the door behind Woohyun with a soft thunk, before rounding around the front of his car to the driver's seat where he makes himself comfortable. Learning how to drive had been quite the experience for Howon, but he actually managed to master the activity well over the years. After checking his surroundings, he starts the car and pulls out of park - “You’ll get fat if you eat too much though, don’t worry. I’ll make sure you exercise your ass off when you’re healed.” It’s a promise that escapes his lips, eyes turning into crescents as he smiles. Of course he’ll help Woohyun get back into shape.

What are best friends for?

He’s drive down the street, hands at Ten and Two - as they should be. “Honestly though, you look great - regardless of your injuries. Maybe it’s me being biased, but you never really look shitty. What I said earlier wasn’t entirely true. You do look like shit, but your shit is better than most other people’s best days. You get me?”

He might just like Woohyun a little too much, a best friend - a brother sort of - plus there was that one night that they never, ever speak of; it’s too embarrassing...mortifying even. “I’m just gonna shut up now. So chicken right?”

He turns the corner towards the drive through to KFC, best chicken place around them. Howon taps his finger on the wheel before letting out a sigh, “I might get a rootbeer. Sungjong will kill me later; promised him I’d cut out soda. But can you blame me? That shit’s addicting.”

jdw-juseyo

Hoya for The STAR

#casual sex on legs #visual

accidental demise

(...)

Sungjong felt as if Howon would disappear if he let go in that moment, that this moment was so delicate that any wrong move might break it and cause Howon to shift to hatred as Sungjong still expected would come - the gentle touch and soft voice after the huge dark mass of shadows didn’t fit. He was tense, muscles taut as he clung to Howon, slowly and hesitantly shifting until he was practically in his lap.

“I’m the one who should be sorry- I killed you!”

He’d never forgive himself, he couldn’t - he had too much blood on his hands, and he wondered just how much more he’d be stained with before he too became a mere spot on someone’s timeline of killings, as so many others were becoming to Sungjong.

#ccsungjong #thread. accidental demise

“But I’m here, aren’t I?”

There have been many times when Howon was the one doing the killing, when it was he who ended a life of another – but he never would have guessed dying would have been so … okay, to him. Perhaps it was because it was Sungjong who had brought an end to his life. Sungjong who Howon held such high respect for. After all, Howon wasn’t really dead – not anymore. His hand raised to pat down the other’s hair as he let out a long sigh.

“It’s over now, I’m not going anywhere. You didn’t technically kill me, see?”

Again, trying to make light of the mood. He knew his roommate was standing just a few feet away and a apart of Howon was glad of that. He too, wasn’t completely okay emotionally. The only reason why he wasn’t crying like Sungjong,, was because he didn’t want to give the other anymore reason to feel bad. He knew that guilt must be eating his friend away. If it had been the other way around, Howon would never forgive himself for doing such a thing to Sungjong.

But then again, his feelings for the other were starting to shift and mold into something different than before – possibly and probably something different than what Sungjong held for him.

If it was Howon who killed Sungjong –

Well, he might as well end his own life.

Leaning back, he moved his hands to cup Sungjong’s cheeks – “now, calm down a bit okay?” he whispered out, voice soft – his gaze softened as his thumb brushed yet another stray tear away. “…I’m kinda glad it was you who did it anyway. If it had to be anyone... I’m glad it was you Jonggie.”

He would let the other do it over and over again. He would give Sungjong his life if the other wanted it. He would –

He’d give his entire being to Choi Sungjong.

accidental demise

[ … ]

“Shadow Marionette, I summon you.”

And then he watched as his form changed once more.

#not gonna attempt to match yoru novel #ccsungjong #sobs #thread. accidental demise #idk if that's the right tag #whoops #been a while

Inside his card, he heard everything. He could hear the pain in Sungjong’s voice, and the wise words of Sunggyu – he could hear what choices the other was given. He wouldn’t mind any of them really. His entire goal since gaining human form was to rid himself of his title as a card; it wouldn’t hurt him to not have control of his powers. It would just be different. Though, he knew Sungjong wouldn’t do that to him, no matter what – he knew Sungjong would want Howon to have his freedom.

He heard the voice of the boy who had killed him call upon his card, a sort of pain hit him deep in his chest as his form began to shift and break from his card. He appeared still covered in his own blood, but his wounds were healing now, almost completely so. He sat there staring at Sungjong, the boy whose cheeks were stained with tears and whose eyes were red from crying. He reached out, fingers still sticky with his own blood, and wiped at his face.

“Crying has never suited you.”

It wasn’t a time for joking, or teasing – or anything of the sort. But his weak attempt at a smile and his lame excuse for a joke was who Howon was. Just, someone trying to ease the situation a bit. He knew he had a lot to answer for, a lot of questions that he needed to elaborate on. But first, he wanted to make sure Sungjong was okay. Reaching out, he pulled the other towards him, not caring about their rather messed up state and wrapped his arms around Sungjong in a sort of hug. It was awkward, the other was kneeling while Howon sat and the height difference was clear but he just closed his eyes and pressed his face against Sungjong’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I’m sorry you had to see me like that. Like the monster I was born as. I never, ever wanted you to see that side of me Jongie.”

. talk shit, get fit

( ... )

Eventually, however, Sungjong gave in, a heavy sigh leaving his lips, accompanied by a nod of his head, shoulders hunching as he slid himself properly onto the mat and lay on his back, eyes closing for a moment to block out that feeling of being watched, waiting until he felt Howon’s hands on his legs to keep him stable.

#ccsungjong #para.talk shit get fit

When Sungjong laid back, Howon reached his hands out and slipped his arms around the others shin’s – bringing him forward. After he made sure Sungjong was secure, he peaked his head over and glanced down at the other. The image before him was something he hadn’t quiet seen before – Choi Sungjong laying flat against the mat, hair sprawled out around him. He looked differed, more vulnerable. Something deep inside Howon remembered a time where he got a kick out of seeing others in a weak state; and a part of him still got a sort of thrill from seeing others in such positions. It took him a moment to compose himself, before his lips turned up slightly.

“One.”

Sungjong started slowly at first, slowly pulling himself up – it was during that first sit up did he realize how close their faces would be with each one; their noses barely touching. It was this closeness that possibly tipped over the house of cards resembling his feelings towards Sungjong; causing them to fall and scatter into a mess. His eye’s widened slightly as the other went back down; Howon’s throat suddenly felt dry.

“Two.”

Again, he came up close again. Something about the way the other’s hair was slightly messed up; sticking up in odd directions. The light sheen of sweat forming on the others brow and the way his lips grew part with each breath.

As he fell back again, Howon swallowed thick – telling himself not to think about it, telling himself to focus on just counting.

“Three – “

Sungjong came up again; but a gasp left the other as he fell back quickly and Howon was left staring after him feeling a weird feeling erupt from his chest – warmth spreading throughout his body. Sungjong stayed down and Howon dropped his hands from Sungjong’s legs and sat back a bit, the palm of his hands bracing themselves on the floor behind him as he re-evaluated his life.

. talk shit, get fit

( ... )

“Now what?” He shifted after a second, bringing his legs into a criss-cross on the floor, hands clasped in his lap, hoping whoever was looking would stop - he was going to humiliate himself for sure at some point and he didn’t want it being witnessed by too many people.

#para.talk shit get fit #ccsungjong

Lee Howon was impressed – but not overly so; after all, he know Sungjong would be able to do such things. As the other sat down, he followed suit and crossed his own legs. “Well, we can try some sit ups. I’ll hold your legs for you as you do them. It’s really easy, I’ll even count how many you do for you so you won’t have to think about it. It’ll help with your abdominal muscles.”

Usually he would do these by himself, slipping his legs under a chair or his couch at home. He didn’t have anyone to aid him in working out, so he was happy to be there for Sungjong. There was also something about being in the other’s presence that made him feel lighters – more human. It was refreshing. Sungjong himself was refreshing. His sarcastic comments were funny, and his smiles were rare but worth being laughed at for.

He reached out his hand, wiggling his fingers slightly. He didn’t want to reach out and touch Sungjong without his permission again, he wasn’t sure if he would be pushing any boundaries. If there was one thing Howon knew, it was that it wasn’t best to push anything with Sungjong.

Plus, he liked being his friend too much to accidently ruin it by doing something stupid.

“You okay with that?”

HoSeal

slow life;lhw

“ Signing me out? Is that why you took so long? “ Woohyun can’t help but sigh and give Hoya a look when the other mentions it. He doesn’t want to say it out loud though from the way he asks, it ‘s implying if signing out also meant paying for the hospital bills.

He decides to not press the issue further when the other mentions food. Being too tired to argue with his best friend, he makes a mental note to bring it up later on and simply nods when he asks about being hungry. “I’m not confident enough yet to see if I an manage cooking with one eye so fast food sounds good “ just as long as we get out of here.

Shifting his weight, Woohyun hoists himself off the bed taking a few moments to gain his balance on his crutches.The first few steps are tentative, trying to get used to maneuvering around them as he makes his way to the door of his room. “Why are you still standing there? I thought you wanted to get me out of here asap” is what he asks when he doesn’t feel the other making any moves to follow him out. “ Are you waiting for me to fall and get it on camera or something?”

#para.slow life #ccwoohyun

He had signed the other out; and payed for the hospital bills. It wasn’t a big dent in his bank, not in the least – but it would have been years of debt for the other. Sure, the younger would probably curse him out and attempt to beat Howon with his own cane, but that was a risk he was willing to take. He just couldn’t bear to see Woohyun struggling with funds when he himself had more than enough to help out. He was even planning on putting aside some money to get the other a glass eye; something he’s talked about with Yein.

“I don’t have my camera with me,” he laughed, moving to follow the other as he shuffled out of the room, “So no embarrassing photo’s today.”

He decided to keep in step with the other, not wanting to move faster in case Woohyun got annoyed – later on he’d do so, annoy the other. Joke around with him and tease him for his lack of sight. Because that’s how they were. But right then Howon had the feeling it would be too soon to bring up such a thing. After all, it had just happened a few days ago.

“I was thinking KFC, I’m in the mood for some chicken.”

He grabbed his car keys and clicked the lock button; causing his car to beep. He led Woohyun to the passenger side seat and even held the door open for him; but in a rather overplayed manner.

“After you, Milady~”

fyeah-infinite

#visual #hoyaboytoya #aye

MOODBOARD: NAM WOOHYUN & LEE HOWON

#ccwoohyun #moodboard #hc #these two are fucking lame af

slow life;lhw

Remembering everything that had happened with clarity, Woohyun would have thought that he’d harbor some ill feelings towards anything magic related. Of course that lasted about 5 seconds because it was a pretty petty and irrational thought. Instead he’d just felt scared, paranoid, anxious and rather empty all at the same time. He’s grateful for Howon’s company - having gone out of his way to visit him everyday. Somehow his presence had given him a semblance of normalcy, that eventually things will be okay. “ I’ve been stuck here for a week, of course I’d look like shit “ he says rather tiredly, forcing out a small laugh. “ But yeah, I’m ready to get out of here”. Woohyun makes to move then, slowly shifting towards the side of the hospital bed, careful not to hit his uncle on the bed railing. He motions for his crutches leaning against the window in the room. “Unless you’re going to carry me out of here, hand me the crutches.”

#ccwoohyun #para.slow life #yaaaayy

“As much as I’d like to carry you…” A smile forms on his face as he makes his way over towards the window to grab the other’s crutches. He makes his way back quickly and hands them to his younger friend, before moving to help him steady himself a bit. “I already went to the front and made sure you were all signed out. Now we just take you home… You hungry? We can get really fatty fast food to make up with all the crap you’ve been eating.”

He doesn’t mention how much he’s worried for the other; doesn’t stare too long at the patch around Woohyun’s eye or the other injuries his best friend holds. He doesn’t mention it because he knows it will only make the other upset. Humans were so fragile; if it was Howon his injuries would have healed by now, no evidence of any harm being done.

But Woohyun was oh so very human and oh so fragile – and dammit, he couldn’t let the other get hurt again. Not while he was around to stop it.

“Let’s go.”

accidental demise

#ccsungjong #para.accidental demise

ccsungjong:

( ... )

Sungjong couldn’t lose Howon. He’d follow, and apologise - something he rarely did. But for Howon he felt he’d do anything, and it was such a foreign feeling that it made his fingertips tingle as he shoved his feet into his shoes and hurried from his apartment. Never before had he felt the overwhelming urge to apologise, but it made sense.

He’d never felt this way about anyone else before.

As he walked he almost missed the sound of trash cans clattering together, almost missed the strange grey fog filtering from the alleyway beside him. Turning his head he stopped in his tracks and hesitated. A rookie (clearly) stood battling a card, or at least trying to. Fear screamed in the young boys eyes as he shook where he stood, a giant mass of darkness and fog swirling in the shape of a seven foot monster.

It took a moment of thought for Sungjong to decide to spare a minute to help the boy. Stepping into the mouth of the alley he flicked his rings from his fingers, felt the familiar light engulf him, and seconds later stood clad in his outfit, pistols held steady in both hands, pointed at the cards back.

With two shots he bore holes in the monsters shoulders, making sure it’s arms fell limp to it’s sides, before a third shot aimed perfectly drove into it’s back, right where it’s heart should be.

It was a bit ironic in a way.

Ahead of him the magic user’s eyes grew wide; and his own followed. The black fog that had surrounded him cracked; the pain stinging clear. The sound of the sound didn’t reach him; but the pain that struck through him was definite. His form stumbled forward slightly; and slowly his body shifted back to as it once was. He was cold; he could feel the warm liquid run down his back. His wounds healing slowly; or not at all. He couldn’t tell - he felt too numb.

As he reverted back to his original form - he turned his head slightly to the side to try and catch sight of who had attacked him. When he saw who it was; his heart stopped. eye’s going wide; a gasp left his lips as he fell forward to his knees - one word leaving his lips.

“Firefly?”

The ground below him came quickly; from his knee’s he fell onto his face; cheek pressed onto the ground. Still his gaze fell upon the boy who he had just saw...not even an hour prior. His lips part as he tried to speak - but instead blood came out; a cough sounding out as his body registered the pain fully.

A scream ripped through his throat before his body thrashed slightly; his hand raised and gripped the ground, nails digging into the cold pavement.

He was being captured.

Mouth opening again, his gaze settled on the approaching figure, he wanted to say something, anything - he could barely make out Sungjong anymore - but he couldn’t let the other think he hated him. He didn’t. He could never hate Sungjong. Even if his demise was caused by the other and his two guns - all he could think of in that moment was how much he wanted Sungjong to understand that it wasn’t his fault. That everything that had happened earlier wasn’t his fault.

The last words he spoke were; “it’s okay...” before his eyes rolled back slightly and everything went black.

Once again he was trapped within a card, only this time the pain was more real.

slow life;lhw

( ... ) The only reason he’s still here is because he’s waiting for his best friend to arrive, the doctors saying it would be better if he had someone to help him out of the hospital. And right on cue, the door to the room swings open, Hoya striding in making Woohyun flash a small smile in his direction. “Hey, thanks for coming Hoya.”