I haven't posted anything here for a very long time now. Too much life updates, daming nangyare, daming ups and downs, and yet I'm back at writing here again.
I just suddenly felt sad when I browsed through my old Line account where my co-worker used to send me photos taken from her iPhone. I was an android user for such a long time, and the quality of photos taken from the iPhone always amuses me, so Line app used to be the means to transfer me the photos we've taken from her phone.
I just saw it clearly how everything has shifted. How lots of things have changed at work. I used to have fun with my colleagues, I used to always appreciate how healthy my relationship was with my co-workers. We eventually turned into friends. We used to have a balanced work-relationship and friend-relationship with them at work. It were all captured there in the photos. Until, everything rotated 360.
I was surprised that it was more than a year now where everything went South with the people I enjoyed working with before. I couldn't assess which is real anymore. I couldn't joke around as much. I don't feel happy going to work anymore. I couldn't be genuine with them anymore. So much has happened and I couldn't go back to the way we were with them anymore.
Now, two of my closest friends will be reassigned to a different section and I wouldn't be able to work with them anymore. I don't wanna be emotional about it but it feels heavy seeing all these changes and I couldn't do anything. Everything turned toxic, and I am suffocating.
So why am I writing this? Maybe this one's a reminder not to blame myself for the changes that have been going on. Maybe it's just a reminder that beautiful things could go wrong with just a snap, and it's not my fault. Maybe there was really that unseen crack between them and that one situation where I got involved with just turned everyone into who they really are. Maybe it's not fully my fault.
