Leon with an avoidant attachment style and touch aversion. Including Chreon of course.
But in a way that he really wants to find love, but he just can’t ever get comfortable enough for things to bloom.
It started with his shitty childhood. He was on his own, depended only on himself when his mother and father drank. Or they were gone most days. Or when the fought like cats, until one day one of them struck too hard, and suddenly Leon was no longer living in a cramped dirty trailer but in an orphanage. One parent behind bars, the other seven feet under.
He gets his first girlfriend long after turning 18, a bit of a late bloomer. He likes her and wants to try. Leon dreams of someone loving him, of free hugs, a shoulder to cry on, kissing and sex. He’s a young man after all.
But soon all touches from his now girlfriend just bother him. He’s tense, looking for a way out, skin crawling, despite his heart wanting all of that and more. Leon really wants this to work, but it’s just so uncomfortable, he feels drained and almost annoyed with how “needy” his girlfriend seems. He tries to force it, but in the end it just doesn’t work.
At 21, she breaks up with him after a year of nothing. No sex, almost no touching or kissing. Just… friendly interactions, always at an arm’s length. Always at a distance. Always trying but never succeeding.
Leon drinks himself to sleep for the first time that night.
Then Raccoon City happens and… it really goes to shit.
Leon hates touching. He doesn’t do relationships, barely hanging onto his friendship with Claire, and Sherry… the kid is different. He’s the only one he doesn’t mind touching, offering hugs freely, not forcing himself to do anything. Claire is… more complicated, but she seems to get his boundaries.
Years go by and well. What do you know? Still no sex, no relationships, nothing but friendships that he sometimes struggles with. But he cares, he really does care.
And then there’s Chris. The man does not get physical boundaries. Or well. He does, but still tries to somehow ease Leon into it. As if the man was an alley cat.
It would be annoying if Leon didn’t secretly want it… he was still uncomfortable, that hasn’t changed and he was always pushing Chris away. But there was no hiding the way his heart raced, the way he both dreaded but hoped for Chris’s touch, the way he spent every waking moment fantasising about handholding with said man. It was ridiculous.
One night, two years after New York, they joined forces again. It wasn’t too surprising, since over the past two years they had their run ins on missions.
It’s what happened afterward, that surprised him.
“Come get a drink with me.” Chris offered, heavy hand already on Leon’s shoulder. It made him want to step back, or lean in. He was never really sure. So he stayed still instead.
“You payin’?” Leon asked, eyeing Redfield with some suspicion. But the man just smiled and nodded.
Somehow, drinking turned into staying at Chris’s place and spilling his guts out.
Leon wasn’t sure what was funnier. Chris’s face when he found out that “the womaniser” was in fact a virgin. Or… or how Leon himself cried like a kid into Chris’s shoulder, asking what the fuck was wrong with him. Why couldn’t he just be like everyone else? Handle a one night stand, a stray hug, a string of messages from Ashley without ignoring her or feeling drained. Handle being close to people.
Yeah. Definitely the first one was funnier than this…
“Because fuck Chris… I want to.” he admitted leaning his forehead further into Chris’s sleeve as the man sat still and listened. “I keep thinking… daydreaming even, that someone would hold me. Take care of me. Just be close. I want it, but just my fucking body, it wants the opposite. It’s exhausting… I don’t know how long I can keep this up.”
Chris doesn’t say much, just lets Leon talk. About his childhood, Raccoon City, his training, Spain, all of it. Let’s him do whatever he wants to physically, offering himself willingly. Leon just keeps touching his arm, leaning on it but nothing else happens.
In the morning, Leon wakes up on Chris’s couch. All but swaddled in a blanket while Chris sleeps in an armchair.
That night changes things. Chris no longer touches Leon, or calls him as often as he used to. Which leads to Leon reaching out on his own over time. A brush at first, a quick text, then maybe a hand grabbing his arm, a call, then leaning on Chris and a casual meet up.
And so on, until one day, Leon hugs him. It’s quick and nervous, but it’s progress.
Chris smiles at that, repeating what he said that night.
“I’m right here, Leon. Take whatever you need.”
A few years later, they wake up in the same bed together. Tangled close, as Leon refuses to leave any part of Chris untouched.
The touch aversion never goes away. Leon still struggles with casual touching, among friends or strangers. Doesn’t feel comfortable or really know what it’s appropriate. But Chris? Chris is his safe space.
Turns out, Leon is touch starved when his husband is around. Sticking to him like a gum to a shoe.
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