kristinehyland.
So Celeste was sort of a bitch. But it was reassuring in its way, because there was no insincerity - no I love you followed up with a punch, no we just want the best for you followed up by half a bowl of gruel to eat all day.
Celeste was never going to be her friend, but that was fine. Dear as her friends were to her, Kris didn’t feel the need to seek out more just for its own sake. Sometimes it was nice to talk to someone like Celeste, with no pressure and no obligation. It was hard to be offended, anyway; Celeste was quick and clever. Kris had a loud voice and spoke far too often with her fists. So yes, Celeste WOULD live longer than she ever would. But Kris wouldn’t mind dying if her death could change something, save someone - and that was the difference between them.
Unscrewing the cap and taking two too-long swigs of whisky, Kris grimaced. The booze was peaty and tasted like a bonfire, and it burned against her cracked lips. It felt good. It was what she’d wanted. “Don’t wanna slip through the cracks though, do I? I wanna fuckin’ FIGHT. I ain’t join the Guard to protect myself, I done it ‘cause I wanna make a difference.”
&&. “You have others, y’know, to do that for you. PROTECT YOU. Whether you like it or not,” she found herself grinning in the night, releasing a plume of smoke. “I don’t see any of Kris’ band of friendsies letting her die, even if that means they do. Non-negotiables, funny things, aren’t they?”
If nothing else, Celeste could lend her respect to Kris for, as she did herself, pursuing a goal. ( Even if the other soldier’s goal was questionable at B E S T, and IDIOTIC every other time. ) Indeed, she was a creature of fickleness and temporary solutions and slipping through the cracks. She’d never dealt in permanence. But, above all, over everything, no matter the cost: she pursued survival. That was permanent, that was a n o n - n e g o t i a b l e. Kris hadn’t chose the right goal to pursue ( and one that would surely see her life ended of unnatural causes ) but AT LEAST she’d chosen one.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE, that was Kris Hyland’s non-negotiable.
So Celeste didn’t part her lips and ask the Red what the POINT of difference was if she’d likely not be around to see it. To live it. Just like she felt sure Kris wouldn’t ask her why if ( ... WHEN ) it came to a choice between her life and any one of theirs, she chose herself. NON-NEGOTIABLE.
“You JOINED the Guard, you want to F I G H T, eh?” She laughed, and it sounded crisp in the quiet night. “I fear you’ll get the chance. See, I fell into the Guard, and I want to L I V E. What are my chances?” Celeste drew in from the cigarette, eyes glued closely to her companion. “You’ll get your fight, the odds are in your favour on that one. But in ALL THIS,” she nodded her head in a vague direction, a very MERE gesture for a grand idea, “what are my CHANCES of living? What of my odds, Kris Hyland?”












