#extradirty
Peter Solarz
Sade Olutola
blake kathryn
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
i don't do bad sauce passes
Andulka
No title available
Origami Around
🪼
we're not kids anymore.
No title available
Product Placement
art blog(derogatory)
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Kaledo Art
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
will byers stan first human second
Kiana Khansmith
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Belarus
seen from Iraq
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Paraguay
seen from Thailand
seen from Finland
@cerealyoam
Hello humans that have found me
I write mainly for genshin impact and sometimes mystic messenger! all x readers
Rules:
- i only write gender neutral, non binary or male reader (including trans readers)
- 4 characters maximum per request for hc
- 2 characters for scenario per request
- nsfw is okay
- i can choose not to write any requests if i feel i cant
thank you
♡MASTERLIST♡
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Scaramouche comforts you after you have an argument with your parents
a/n: did i make this on a whim? yes. did i nearly cry? Yes!
***
You curl up in Scaramouche's arms, him only wrapping them around you comfortingly. Yet again, you just wanted to be reminded that you were a human being.
At times like these, you can't help but slip into your bad habits of self-loathing and dehumanisation. You wanted to slip right back into believing you weren't worthy of love, comfort or affection -- because then it at least made sense why you didn't get enough of it.
Alas, Scaramouche wouldn't let you. Whenever you get a bad call from your shitty parents, he'd wrap you in his warmth, stopping you from thinking the things you shouldn't.
"Why didn't they do this for me?" you ask.
"I don't know," Scaramouche replies. "Whatever the reason, they suck."
"Maybe I'm over-exaggerating it. Maybe I've deluded myself into thinking this is all some big deal when it isn't," you continue. "What if, all along, they've only been doing what they should, and I'm just too sensitive to take it?"
"You're not too sensitive," Scaramouche corrects. "You're just more sensitive than the average person. And, that usually happens because you were hurt when you were younger."
"Really?" you ask. "I feel like, all my life, I've been demanding too much of my parents' attention."
"That's a normal thing," Scaramouche rubs his hand in your hair. "It's okay to need more attention than others."
"Really?" you drawl, again. "I don't know…"
"Stop questioning your feelings, for fuck's sake," He moves to cuddle you as you lay on him. "Your feelings aren't to be questioned right now. Question your thoughts later. Right now, you're sad, and I'm going to prove to you that you're worth loving."
You figure you can't argue with that…
"Thank you," you sigh, closing your eyes. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
N-SFW - Trapped in a room with Pantalone
***
tags: fingering, gn reader, but reader also has female parts, reader wears a dress, praise, teasing, lots of teasing, kissing, handjob, nsfw content, explicit content, have fun yall
a/n: pantalone has a chokehold on me. did I spend two days doing this? Yeah. Do i regret it? Not at all. May make one for male reader soon amen.
***
In the darkness, there is no one else but you—and Pantalone, but he's freakishly quiet anyway, so his presence is close to nothing. With pipes lining the walls, only a small clear patch of it remains. You and Pantalone lean against it, hidden.
Neither of you have heard any noises for the past few minutes. To that, you feel you can put the chase to rest. After all, it's not like you know how you came here, either.
You're in Pantalone's arms, them having wrapped languidly around your body. You're pressed up against him still, realizing that he feels quite warm. Maybe his presence is much better than none at all. You'd rather not go through this on your own, anyway.
At that, you breathe a sigh of relief. Your chest pounds from the minutes ago of being chased. You look up at Pantalone, only to find him staring into you.
He says nothing.
You must have really lucked out on your partnership with him, you think upsettedly. If this were literally any other person, maybe they'd be freaking out like you were, or at the very least talk some sort of nonsense about how none of this shit makes sense... but the Regrator only continues his visual assault.
"Can you not?" You huff. "I know I'm dolled up today, but at least make your weird ogling less obvious."
This is how you get men to fuck off, right? By calling out cooties or something. "You like me, don't you?" and they get flustered and bugger off.
Unlike you, Pantalone's breathing is steady, slow, and near silent. If it weren't for the fact you were in some sort of vacuum space, you'd not be able to hear any of it.
He's always been silent, hasn't he? When you first approached him, he silently looked for your wallet with you. When you first met him again, he silently appeared from behind. You're never able to detect him, no matter the situation.
"You finally noticed?" He hums. There's a wide, satisfied grin on his face.
Excuse me?
You must have said that out loud, because Pantalone only replies in turn. "Mmm, you haven't then. Let me put it in a language you can understand."
You don't even feel his embrace differ until two gloved fingers are under your chin, tipping your jaw upwards.
His eyes trail down, pausing, before slowly looking you up to your eyes again. They're half lidded. He leans in.
You know what's happening, but can't find it in yourself to deny.
He kisses you.
His bottom lip catches on yours, and you move yours in tandem. Pantalone lowers his head further, the kiss slow, languid and sensual.
Your eyes fluttered shut, and his, too. His other arm moves to your torso, gliding up your waist, resting right under your chest. Your hands stay pressed against his chest. His hand on your chin now rests against your cheek, pulling you deeper into the kiss.
When before, there was no sound other than your panting, now you're panting along with the noises of a gentle kiss.
He's so gentle with you. He's not once gripped, tugged or manhandled, only guiding you welcomingly, and you follow his movements. He's so, fucking, gentle.
You gasp as his hand on your torso dips to your ass, playing with the waistband.
"May I?" He whispers.
You flush. Perhaps this really isn't the time. You were both in the middle of escaping a heist for goodness sake!
You could be doing anything more productive by now. Figuring out where you are, why no one's here, how you got here, how to get out...
Though, its been ages since you've gotten a break. This gala was supposed to be a you night, where all the thoughts in your head are filled with good music, alcohol and no Pantalone to fuck your emotions up.
He's even doing it again. Making you feel so, so, confused.
"I believe I asked you a question, darling," the devil himself repeats. His fingers still fiddle with the waistband, slipping in slightly, before slipping out.
That's hot, you think. Like all your thoughts make sense. You want him out of your life for messing it up, but you want him in it to make it better. Better by kissing you like he just did seconds ago, better by giving you all these crawly feelings in your stomach, better by making you forget why you wanted him out of your life in the first place.
"I'm not hearing any approvals..." Pantalone insists. His smile has already faltered into an unreadable frown, but his thumb on your cheek caresses you gently. Slowly, it moves to your lips, as if asking for entrance. "If you don't want to, we can end this right now and pretend this never happened."
Your logic wanted to say no, but your mouth did the work for you. "Yes."
The grin returns to his face. "Good."
His thumb pushes in, and his lips encase yours once more.
The kiss is still gentle, but after a peck, Pantalone's tongue glides against your lips, before locking against your teeth with another peck with it.
Pantalone hums, and the vibration tickles against you.
You almost forget what's happening, until a hand at your waistband dips to the hem of your skirt, lifting up.
You're exposed.
"Adorable panties," he murmurs between kisses. As his tongue dips back into your mouth, his fingers caress your clothed mound.
"I always wondered what was down here," He says, parting only to reattach at your neck, and suck.
His fingers glide and press like the experienced man he is, a single one starting to rub against your nub.
It switches from faint circles, barely pressing down on the spot you so wish, into a hard, slow side-to-side motion.
From one side of your nub to the other, he presses hard and lifts up, drawing a zigzag, all the while moving down your neck to your shoulder.
"Pesky top," he whispers, yet harshly yanking your collar to the side. "Stopping me from reaching what's mine to keep."
You gasp.
His mouth lifts again. "Did you know how you affected me tonight?" He kisses another part of your shoulder. "You're so beautiful I couldn't take my gaze off your back. I wanted to pull you away from your pesky friends and bend you over the bar, take you right then and there in front of everyone."
If you're about to respond, it doesn't matter, because Pantalone tugs at your panties, pulling them down.
On instinct, you follow along, pulling them off, Pantalone snatching them before you can pick them up.
He lifts it to his coat, pocketing it.
You stare at him in awe, at his bold move, but he only smiles.
"You can't—"
"Oh, honey, but I can."
Just as he's lathered enough of your precum, fingers dip into your entrance.
Waisting no time, Pantalone explores.
His fingers move back and forth, taking time to rub on the walls, twisting in a forward scissoring motion, before stopping to thrust in and out slowly.
He must have done this a million times before, what with his old age and neverending experience list. You've never felt this good before, your fingers never doing this much for you before.
Just as you think you're getting used to it, Pantalone switches his strategies and thrusts in all the way to his knuckles, pushing like he's looking for something.
Just as he does so, he whispers into your ears. "Touch yourself.”
You nod, reaching down to rub at your nub, but he swats your hand away. You look up at him confusedly.
"No, no," he tuts. "You should be saying, yes, master."
You breathe in, your thoughts having filled with the thoughts of wanting to cum to think twice. "Yes, master."
At last, he let's go of your hand, you finally able to rub at it.
"Good," he drawls, a sly grin on his face, his hand dipping back into your cunt, him continuing to poke and prod. "Keep moaning for me, just. Like. That."
His fingers are long, so it takes no time before you gasp out as he hits your sweet spot.
You feel him smile against your skin, kissing your ears, nipping on the lobe.
"Ahh, I just love the sounds you make," he whispers, his breath tickling your ears, making you whimper away. "Quiet, loud, even your little pants... send all these lovely signals down here."
His free hand reaches for yours, pulling you to feel his crotch. The size of the bulge makes you shiver.
Pantalone hums, "Take it out."
You tug at his waistband, somehow popping open the button with one hand. You're impatient, frantic, dipping into his briefs and pulling out his cock.
It's longer than it is thick, probably able to reach places inside that you've never felt before.
"That's it," Pantalone continues. "Stroke it."
You nod.
The moan he let's out is obscene, right against your ear still. He's loud, his deep voice only sending tremors all over your body.
"Faster," he says, cooing. "Squeeze it a bit."
He's not once stopped hitting your sweet spot, and you can feel your high coming soon. You squeeze the base, gliding up to rub at his tip, speeding up your hand.
You make a noise that lets him know you're close.
"Gonna cum?" He taunts, but his voice is heady. "Come on, you want me to stick it in, don't you? Bully your little hole until its shaped just for me."
You nod frantically.
"What did I say?"
"Yes, master!"
His fingers thrust up one more time, your finger on your nub presses, you squeeze one more time and Pantalone groans loudly as you cum.
You keep stroking him, harder and faster, bringing your other hand to play with his tip.
"Ooh, yes, you're a natural," he praises. "Keep this up and I just might let you go for round two."
You gulp at the thought.
It doesn't take long before he's cum on your hand.
You both pant, slowly coming down from your high.
Eventually, you two breathe normally again, Pantalone's fingers slipping out of your hole. Your hands are no more slick than his are.
"Good job," he whispers. "I'd go for another round, but you won't be able to take it."
You're too tired to respond at this point. So tired, in fact, you miss his last words, murmured into your neck.
"So beautiful."
***
POV: you’re fucking overworked
**
Prompt: You’ve been running around the house, demanded to do one too many chores all at the dissatisfaction of the people you live with. The Genshin men catch whiff of this.
A/N: nearly cried while writing this, long overdue!
**
Scaramouche
has seen you brutally exhausted the past couple of days.
Your tone of voice has changed, you look lost in thought whenever you’re around him, and a multitude of other things - he simply can’t not notice.
he figures maybe you’re working a bit too hard, and should just let it all pass.
In fact, weren’t you a grown person? You should be able to handle these things, right?
that is, until you got worse
he saw you less, and less, and whenever he did see you — had he managed to drag you out of the confinement of your home — you were on edge, irritable, and overall not the person he knew
He’s taken it upon himself to figure the fuck out, why you’ve been so distant
Your date has just ended, it’s around 4pm, and you’re hit with the loud, recurring noise of your phone’s ringtone.
Scaramouche, standing right next to you, is already fucking frustrated. He can’t figure out why you’re so tired, and it’s not like you’ve dropped any coherent hints anyway. So he decides to discreetly listen into the conversation from right next to you.
His blood boils at the noise.
“Hey, where are you?” The person on the phone says. “Come home quick. We need you to take care of things while we’re out.”
Scaramouche notices the way you grimace. “I’m out right now, I can’t.”
“We don’t care, no one’s at home to do the work and you’ve been doing a terrible job the past week. When are you going to take charge of your responsibilities and stop being so careless?”
The voice gets louder and louder as the conversation progresses, and you slowly begin to lose your patience. “I can’t just leave right now, I’m—“
“It doesn’t matter. If we don’t see the house clean by the time we get back, cross my fucking heart, Y/N, you’ll feel the wrath of it.”
“But I—“
“—Ungrateful, careless child.”
The phone hangs up.
You want to throw it across the fucking floor.
Alas, there’s nothing you can do. Yet again, they haven’t given you much choice. A sigh escapes you, and you pocket your phone. “I’m sorry, Scaramouche, but I have to go—“
The sight of his face shakes you to your core.
“Who. The fuck. Was that?” He asks, his voice calm, and careful, but his expression far from it.
You gulp, feeling intimidated. “It’s my family, they’re asking me to head home and take care of some stuff.”
“Ask?” He laughs, like this whole thing is a fucking joke. “Didn’t sound like asking to me. Sounded like they were fucking forcing you into it.”
“It’s my responsibility, though, I can’t just leave it,” you respond. There’s a tightness in your chest as you defend them — you know, deep down, they’re in the wrong. But they’re leaving you with no choice. You can already hear the punishment in your head, in great detail. You can hear their words reverberating in your ears.
“No fucking way, it sounds like they need to take care of their own responsibilities instead of thrusting them at you.”
Scaramouche, grabs your hand, and tugs you along. “You’re not going anywhere. If they call you again, I’ll fucking talk to them myself. Stupid fuckers. I can’t believe they’d take advantage of you like this.”
You have the rest of your date.
Eventually, scaramouche gets you to move out of your home. If things spiral out of control, he’s already on their tail to make them fuck the hell off. Will make sure they never bother yo again.
Supports you financially, too, til’ you can pay him back.
Well, he says you’ll be paying him back, but there’s no way that’s ever coming into fruition.
***
Kaeya
Will notice from the very moment your demeanour changes
You may think you’re able to hide things when you want to, but there’s always a slip-up and kaeya always stares it down.
Won’t ask you about it at first, hoping you’ll come to him eventually, but you never do.
It isn’t until he happens to look over you while you’re messaging them, that he starts getting serious
You’ve received messages from them basically listing the chores you’re in charge with as soon as you get home, and all the previous feelings of happiness from hanging out with your boyfriend deflate.
Rereading the messages don’t make you feel any better, but now there’s an ache in your chest, wondering what would happen if you forgot, or didn’t do all those things by the time they get home.
“What’s that?” Kaeya asks. He’s already read it, though, while you’ve been sulking.
“It’s nothing serious, just my work for the day,” you respond, sighing as you quickly type out a response.
Kaeya nudges your shoulder. “That’s a pretty long list of things to do,” he leans over, scrolling up through the previous messages, skimming them before you can stop him. “They treat you like this? Do you even get paid?”
“Hah, I wish. Then i wouldn’t hate it as much.”
You’re about to hit send, but Kaeya suavely slips the phone put of your hands, tucking it into his pocket.
“Hey!” You jump, hands not sure where to touch to get it back. “I was about yo—“
“And I’m afraid you won’t be able to,” Kaeya smiles, his hand now trailing down to your fingers, intertwining with them. “What a shame. Now, where were we? I was going to help you relax?”
“What? Kaeya, we—“
“To the salon it is, darling.”
Convinces you to move in with him, get a small, manageably sized apartment for you two to live in. Chips in with housework, will never overwork you the way your previous roommate did.
**
Itto
a bit of an oblivious duck
has no idea how bad you’re feeling until you start cancelling plans on him
Thinks that maybe he’s done something wrong, so ends up at your front door to apologize for whatever it is he did
Discovers he isn’t the problem here
Your doorbell rings, and you’re snapped out of your cleaning frenzy. Your housemates get to the door before you, though, and you feel worse, wondering if that’s the groceries they’ve ordered, waiting for you to have to organize all those things in their spots.
You can already feel an ache setting in your muscles, but you choose to stay in blissful ignorance until then.
However, a familiar voice startles you from your stupor.
“I’m here to see Y/n, are they home?” Itto asks, boisterous and loud.
The person opening the door, to your utmost dread. “No, they aren’t. Who are you? What do you want?”
“Oh, we’re super close. Didn’t they talk about me? The great Itto?” Itto laughs, unaware of the clearly uncomfortable tone from them.
“They’re busy, so you can leave.”
Out of curiosity, you approach the door, and Itto spots you immediately from the corner of his eye.
“Y/N!” He yells, turning to wave as he towers over them. “There you are! We need to talk. Wow, you look exhausted — why did you say they weren’t home?”
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” your housemate tuts, ready to close the door shut in his face.
“Hey, wait! I need to talk to them, it’s important—“
“Didn’t you hear me?! Leave, before I—“
You jump in, frantic. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, I can talk to him—“
“You go back to your work and keep your nose out of it,” they whisper-yell, and you’re realising just how much the punishment will hurt as soon as Itto leaves.
Not wanting things to escalate further, you wave to itto and retreat back into the kitchen.
“Wait! Y/N!” Itto yells again.
He’s never seen you this tired out before. Heck, he’s realising just how long it’s been since you last had time to go out with him or his friends.
“You can’t talk to them like that!” Itto pushes against the door with his arm, his strength blocking it from closing further. “They said it’s okay. Who are you to dictate that?”
Even with the stubbornness of your housemate, itto pries open the door and invites himself in. No way is he going to let you go after this.
He calls after you again, finding you in the kitchen. You were trying to hold back tears. Of what? You didn’t have enough mental room to figure it out. Tears may have streamed down your face already.
Itto’s hands are out, unsure of whether to touch you or not. Eventually, he settles for holding your hand, gently leading you out. You follow.
“Hey, they’re in the middle of work! Who the hell do you think you ar-“
Itto shoots them a glare that shuts their mouth right up. He thinks its the least angered thing he can do.
How dare they treat you like this? You deserved so much better.
Though, he breathed in, and breathed his anger out. He wouldn’t want you to see him so uptight when you’re clearly the one trembling in his arms.
You’re led ot of the house, to a quiet place a few ways away — Itto made sure his gang kept your roommates out of it — and finally, you sit.
Itto will sit there, comfort you as long as you would like.
Will start talking to the roommate. Him and his gang scold the fuck out of them, no matter their age. If they don’t start improving, Itto will take out his savings and get you to move into a house with him, instead. Wants to make sure you’re safe, not mistreated.
“They’ll realise they’re worthless without you, hah, I hope they regret everything they did to you.”
**
Diluc
notices you feeling extra jittery lately
You’re restless, upset, and look frazzled, distracted, like you’re trying hard to hold on
Very concerned at your occasional outbursts, from small little things
It isn’t until one little thing he asks of you puts you in a full on stress-attack
“Hey, darling,” you hear diluc say from the dining hall as you walk down the stairs. “Could I ask you to pick up some of the papers from my desk? The ones with ‘dissertation’ written with red ink.”
You’re caught off guard, feeling your hands stiffen by your sides. Nonetheless, you figure it’s harmless, and reply that you will before heading for his office.
You see his table piled up with different papers, and your hands start to stiffen again. Before you realize it at all, your hands bunch up together, you stand at the doorway, struggling to take it all in. There’s so much, and there’s so much you’ve been doing, so much you still have yet to do.
Yet, you persevere. It can’t be that hard to find the papers, right? They’re in bright red ink! Yeah. You’ll get through this.
Rigid as your body moves, you make it to the table. You try not to take in the clutter — your body starts to feel cluttered on the inside, like you’re stuffed full of cotton and scrunched paper and your mind can’t take it.
You’re scared.
Why are you scared?
The list of things continues to grow in your mind.
There’s this, then that, then that other thing you’re behind on, and the thing you’ve been meaning to do for a while now, then…
You start shaking.
You don’t realise you’re shaking, because you stand there, your thoughts going ballistically fast, one after the other, so cluttered that all it does is stuff you even more with cotton.
“Darling?” You hear, and whip your head around to see diluc standing by the entrance, worry stretched across his face.
He seems to take in your shaken state, the way your hands have bunched up at your chest and your breathing getting steadily more erratic.
He calls your name, making his way to you.
The room is too messy for you to think.
You can’t think.
You close your eyes, try to breathe, find any semblance of order in your racing mind…
Diluc comes to you, his hands on your shoulders. “What happened? Is everything okay?”
The words come out sounding wrong. “I don’t… I’m… I can’t find the papers, I can’t find them—“
“Darling, no, it’s okay, they’re just papers, I can find them later,” diluc protests, but you only seem to stir further.
“Why am I feeling like this? It’s just some paper, why am I so— so restless?”
“Perhaps you’ve been pushing yourself too hard,” diluc responds, his hands slowly falling to hold your head against him and wrap you in his embrace.
“But I haven’t done what I needed to! Why am I so tired?”
Diluc was no stranger to overwork, hence your words hitting him like a brick. Is this how others felt when they saw him burnt out?
“Come, darling,” he breathes, soothing you by playing with your hair. “I’ll get Adelinde to send for some tea. Let’s go to the lounge and talk, okay?”
Klitz Headcanons pt. 2 (The Girl Next Door)
he enjoys forehead kisses
hates the texture of peanut butter but loves the taste
he is allergic to oreos
can appreciate a blink 182 song every once in a while
carrots reminded him too much as penises as a child and now he refuses to eat them
klitz listens to evanescence when he gets upset
he has a re occurring pimple on his left elbow
klitz didn’t need glasses originally, he found his dad’s glasses and just started wearing them and his eyes eventually adjusted
the longest he’s gone without showering is six weeks
his favorite animal is a beaver
when it gets really hot out klitz will shave his armpits
he says its for comfort but eli teases him for it
his favorite flavor of beef jerky is terryaki
a few years after high school, klitz was an extra on criminal minds season 1
he is afraid of the amish
he has considered selling feet pics for extra cash before, but he is too anxious his mother would find out
he has a lock of his baby hair hanging on a nail in his bedroom
he still doesn’t understand how a tampon works
his favorite socks are orange
he is too afraid to turn left on streets
he will turn as many rights as he needs to so he can avoid a left
that results in him sometimes going in circles
his cousin was a finalist on american idol and it gave him semi fame in his high school for about a week
he has a piss drawer
HATES WEEZER
-
tag list: @beenz-beenz @fikism @liveforkarljacobs @colorsofjun @kr4lie @slut-for-matt-murdock @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @nluvsdano @slut-for-matt-murdock @rosepaintedblack
hates weezer? prob bc he doesn’t like that he relates too much . once he gets over himself he will realise that Weezer Is Life.
Me; *casually posting after 1 year of absence* hello
Mystic Messenger x Middle Eastern Reader
Basically POV youre Middle Eastern and the little things that add to the relationship
Characters; Jumin Han, V, 707
A/N: you might be thinking, dami, why are you writing for a dead fandom about something nobody asked for? And i assure you. Impulse overtakes me on a daily basis. Also I feel the need to add that I am Middle Eastern
(Gender neutral reader as per the usual!)
V
When he first saw you, he thought you were beautiful
Because of his nature, he really wanted to photograph you in warm sunlight. He felt the best way to remember you was by taking as many photos as he could
When you told him where you were from, he thought it was pretty cool, and always likes to ask about your cultures and traditions.
I like to think he wants to try your country’s cuisine, and he’ll definitely like it. Probably buys a cookbook so he can learn your favourite desserts and foods, and he thinks its a great way to learn more about you.
Since he travels abroad often, if you’re comfortable, he’d love to visit your hometown, and possibly your parents as well.
Oh my god he would be so so good to your parents
He’s respectful, greets them at the door, brings his own food to give to them
You know because he’s loaded he can basically buy expensive ass gifts for your family if they’re more traditional
So so sweet. Helps you do housework at your parents’ home, all of that.
He honestly wants to learn how to speak modern Arabic, or your Arabic slang as well.
It’s just he doesn’t know where to start.
Like? How do all the different pronouns work? Why are there so many words for so many different specific things?
Pls help him
Oh yeah he definitely messes up by saying some slang word that means something entirely inappropriate given the context. Watch him call a cat a bra bc he doesn’t know the difference
Calls you habibi/habibti (my love) or hayati (my life) because its the only words he kind of knows the meaning of
Overall really sweet like he always is. Practically the best boyfriend ever. Unmatched
Jumin Han
Oh you have nothing to worry about at all
The worlds most civilised polite businessman with manners that are just perfect for meeting your parents with
He’s already travelled half the Arabian peninsula I’m 90% sure he knows the language too
Super sophisticated, super sweet
If you like any particular food he hires a full fledged 3 Michelin star ass restaurant chef for any dish you’d like
Oh you want some kubba or smn? Say no more in the next few hours you’re eating the best kubba in your life ok
Idc if you don’t like kubba the 3 Michelin star ass chef is gonna make you like it I swear
Has probably already been to where you live at least twice but he’ll go again just for you
He finds you absolutely gorgeous like have you seen yourself you’re gorgeous
Likes to trace your face and cheeks with his knuckles and tells you you’re absolutely beautiful
Can probably get any outfit tailored perfectly to you the moment you mention your specific traditional clothing
Again your parents cant refuse. He’s literally a corporate executive of the highest ranking business where he is. He has so much money he’ll only ever get richer. Dowry money? Oh yeah that costs just about an eighth of his weekly salary let’s double the dowry
You feel v v v loved. Unmatched husband material
707
He knows Arabic
Was a bit shocked when you had zero issue getting into his house bc u know the language enough to say cat in Arabic
But he also sort of knew so he changed the entire algorithm of his lock system to be in Tagalog just to be safe
Vanderwood has held a grudge since then
You know how he is he’s totally got every random nuanced joke memorised and prepared up his sleeve so if you swear in your language slang ever he probably knows what it means and will definitely snicker even if you don’t realize it
Honestly nothing much changes he just knows already lmfao
“Eiden is the new Aoba”
Me:
Not forgetting yakumo va is the same for clear AND says “eido-San” AOBA-SAN WHERE ARE YOU??
You know a lot about the gods. What about ghosts? Which ghost? Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Hua Cheng
Shiloh and Jeremy may appear in Our Life, but you are canonically forbidden from ever seeing Jeremy’s best bro Pran. That’s rough. Cove and the MC are really missing out, considering Pran’s wonderful personality, haha.
YEAAAAHHHHH
Crack Texts: Memes [Liyue]
Masterlist | Mondstadt | Inazuma
Zhongli | Childe | Xiao | Baizhu
Tags: Sfw, Fake texts/ smau, Gn!reader, catboy xiao agenda
I can’t take screenshots for the life of me
Zhongli
the things about kazuha.
after joining the crux ship and gaining a little crush on a certain someone, you start to notice all the things about him.
pairing: kazuha x gender neutral reader
warnings: flufff. pls pretend that kazu wears a jacket,, haha! + mentions of reader's face warming up, but no mentions of visible blushing ^^ ALSO PLEASE PRETEND THE CRUX FLEET HAS SOME LIKE TYPE OF BEDS... NOT THE ONE SAILORS USE THOGUHSHFBGNNF and and uhh idk how to end fics
author's note: helloo @clemmywrites!! i am your backup secret santa gifter hosted by @favoniuscodex and luckily for you, i am practically married to the idea of fluff! i hope you enjoy all this fluff of this anemo boy (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
— he's considerate.
ever since you've joined the crux, all the ship members have been nothing but nice and kind towards you. they include you in their fun story-telling sessions, drinking competitions, and even arm wrestles— which beidou always wins. one has taught you how to work the maps while another has taught you how to treat injuries. you had a good experience on the ship since day one, no doubt.
but only one person has given you something different.
kazuha is not mean; well, at least not intentionally. but you do find it rather bothersome that you stiffen up whenever you hear his voice, or that you turn around unnecessarily quickly whenever he calls your name. yes, you do admit that you have a teeny little crush on him, but you push down your feelings as much as you can because you know that this man only sees you as something only platonic.
he salutes to you every time he sees you. not a wave; a two-finger salute. he waves regularly to everyone else but only salutes to you.
but it still makes you smile like an idiot, nonetheless.
I’m tempted to go into heavy detail about Kazuha husband again
TIKTOK: KAZUHA IS A GREAT HUSBAND AND I WILL GO INTO HEAVY DETAIL!!!!!!
based on this titkok
※※※
—————————
look. firstly, if you’re the kind of person who cant stay in one spot forever. He is for you baby
and what is kazuha?? a WANDERER
he literally goes random places whenever the fuck he wants and i LOVE that
never anchored just zoom zoom zoom
That means you get to experience the thrill of being someplace new everyday
And a lot of that wandering entails a. Lot of walking
Walking with Kazuha is a dream. Witnessing the most beautiful sceneries together through thick and thin, talking about anything and everything
Not to mention Kazuha and his incessant flirting and poems made just for you, the love of his life
You can never run out of topics with Kazuha. He’s been to so many places that he has a million stories. He’s met so many people that he can introduce to you
They’re soooo cheesy you either love them or hate them no in between sorry
But deal with them they’re sooooo worth it
Is ACTUALLY EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE
I knooowww it’s hot to have an emotionally unavailable boyfriend but as a husband??? Who’ll be there to support you when things go good? How’s there to be there for you when things get bad???
Kazuha is an emotionally intelligent individual and he knows how to be a good boyfriend
Just look at him
Read his voice lines
He’s also equally sociable and solitary
Kazuha can hold his own in a store and buy things, he can make conversation with most everyone he meets
But he also values good solitude
Being with him means meeting amazing people and also having time to just disconnect, recharge
It’s the ideal stability emotion wise
Kazuha is a stable person
He’s calm when things get tough, he fights back when he needs to, he knows his worth
There’s just a lot of grievance in him
You’ll probably hear a lot about his dead friend
And he’ll be able to process it with you
And he doesn’t push all his weight on you
and that in itself brings you closer!! you become closer just by simply existing with one another doing what he does best: go where the wind takes him
and he has anemo so youll never get too sweaty. all he would have to do is use his vision and BOOM cold air righr in ur face
hes also incredibly skilled in fighting so he could literally teach you to defend yourself!!
and instead he can defend you!! hes literally such a sustainable lover
and plus? he travels with the Crux fleet. yk how amazing that is? its getting to see beidou day in and day out
So even if your life is hectic in the wandering aspect, you can always come back to somewhere familiar — the crux fleet
As long as you either know how to do some chores, can defend yourself, or cook, you’ll be fine
Way to his heart is through his stomach!!!
And plus?? It’s not that difficult to make good food in teyvat
Alll their food is straight up fresh and yummy
So it’s easy to ease into it
It’s also not that difficult to explode a stove because they use fireeeee
kazuha romantically?? have you seen him???
he literally is so expressive of his emotions my attachment issues could never
hes just like the most trustworthy lover just by the way he carries himself
he knows who he is and hes just confident in himself
Plus he’s hot
and thats sooo attractive. just someone who knows what he wants, knows who he is and knows where he'll be
He’s the kind of person to love birthdays not because its reassurance that people still care about him, but because its simply a special day to celebrate
He’s the ideal
He’s the standard
Thank you
