𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚢 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕

zarah kulkarni comedy actress aspiring director forty she/her/hers

[cerendipitous]

ZARAH KULKARNI

character intro & biography

the basics

full name : zarah lakshmi kulkarni

gender & pronouns : cis woman, she/her

age & date of birth : forty, 8th november 1982

category :  comedy actress & aspiring director

sexuality: biromantic bisexual

faceclaim :  hannah simone

backstory

zarah was born in england and dreamed of being an actress from an early age. as a child, she had a recurring role in the tv soap eastenders and this took her into her mid-teens, giving her opportunities in later years to work on doctor who, happy valley and various other iconic british tv shows. her transition to work across the pond, however, wasn’t easy - finding the right agent was something of a struggle, and it turned out that moving to a country where you knew next to nobody was quite difficult! who knew?

it was at this point zarah met her now ex-wife. they bonded over stagnating careers, a lack of work, and being at rock bottom and embarked on a whirlwind romance that saw them married within a year. with barely any money to their names, they floated around l.a., going from audition to audition until zarah finally got the callback she’d been waiting for. it was for a sitcom set in california, revolving around a bunch of roommates in their late-twenties to early thirties. zarah was up for the quirky british slash transatlantic side character and she nailed the audition.

as it turned out, getting the part was the easy bit, waiting for the show to get picked up was a whole different ball-game. the pilot had been shot, and now all she had to do was wait. meanwhile, her wife’s career was dying an even more dramatic death by the day. she’d stopped bothering to get out of bed, she didn’t care about working - if it wasn’t acting then why bother? zarah was supporting the both of them and it was exhausting. too exhausting. they argued constantly, the fierce love they’d once felt for each other turning into hate, until one day zarah couldn’t take it any more and she had to leave. she sent a note to her wife’s parents to let them know the situation, because she couldn’t just leave her entirely alone. six months later, her pilot was picked up.

slight changes were made to the sitcom long haul and she was now the lead - a kooky british woman finding her way in california, making friends and making people laugh. weird how work sort of imitated life sometimes? the show did well in its first season, and in its run was commissioned for six in total. zarah had an absolute blast, genuine connections with most of her co-stars and friends for life. her dreams had become a reality, or at least most of them had anyway. tv acting was different to movie acting. maybe that was next?

zarah’s had a couple of high profile relationships. she dated one of her co-stars from long haul and it ended amicably (much to fans’ relief). she also had a brief fling with a director, which sparked her interest for working behind the camera. this is the route she’s now trying to go down, forging new connections. she’s going to have to start small, or so she thinks anyway.

personality

zarah has a real warmth about her; she oozes approachability, but she’s not exactly an enormous fan of people because she’s quite introverted. she’s usually very friendly, and a lot of the time it’s a facade of politeness. she has a theory that she appears a lot more confident and self-assured than she actually is. anyone who gets close to her will have a friend for life. with that being said though, loyalty and trust mean a lot to her and if either of those is broken then she will cUT OUT whoever has hurt her. she’s not afraid to go ‘snip snip’. she’s not unaware of her flaws - she knows she can be selfish sometimes (isn’t everyone?) and she will go to certain lengths to protect herself. 

inspirations

zooey deschanel in new girl, tiya sircar in the good place, parminder nagra in bend it like beckham, maya rudolph in literally anything, isla fisher in literally anything, rashida jones in parks & rec.

list of work

1992-1998: shari khan in eastenders  2001: nina bolton in casualty  2002-2003: beena shah in crossroads 2003: stella kowalski in a streetcar named desire (the lyttleton theatre, london) 2005: rose tyler in doctor who 2014: ann gallagher in happy valley 2016-2022: priya marsh in long haul

possible connections

her ex-wife! they never actually got divorced so that could be an interesting plot. maybe her career has had a huge facelift and she’s ready to rub it in zarah’s face? or maybe she wants to take zarah down after her success, so she goes to the press? idk any drama is great! could also have someone who knows her ex-wife who isn’t a fan of zarah? any romantic relationships would also be welcomed, professional relationships too - bestie work colleagues or maybe someone who zarah doesn’t get along with? i’m open to p much anything!

connections page / pinterest

[cerendipitous]

ivylau​: 

Ivy tended to do most of her shopping online, purely because she couldn’t control her impulse buying when it came to refular shopping. However she’d not bought food for this evening as she was supposed to be going on a date, a date that she’d selflishly cancelled at the last minute because she didn’t feel right. She’d dated back in the UK but now she was in LA suddenly everything reminded her of Zarah, everything felt like a betrayal.

Then a cart hit her and suddenly Ivy was pulled from her own thoughts, looking up immediately. “No, it’s fine,” she replied before realising that she knew that voice. As she raised her gaze it was like she’d been punched in the stomach, Zarah looked as gorgeous as always and Ivy immediately found herself lost for words. “I wouldn’t replace Lakshmi with clumsy,” she stated. it was a terrible opening line but the truth was that she had no idea what she should say to the love of her life whom she hadn’t seen in seven years.

zarah’s heart almost stopped when she looked up, meeting the gaze of eyes she knew so incredibly well. or at least, she used to know. time felt like it had either stopped or slowed to such a glacial pace that the moment would spin out forever. her mouth felt dry and she attempted to cough and clear her throat so that she didn’t croak like an absolute weirdo. “ivy.” she finally spoke, uttering her name softly. it took her a second to realise what ivy had actually said, and her delayed bout of laughter sounded more awkward than she’d intended. “no, true...but maybe adding a second middle name wouldn’t be so bad? it’s quite accurate, after all.” she wasn’t circus clown level clumsy, but she did a great job with knocking things over every so often. “sorry i hit your cart, by the way.” she fell silent for a moment, losing her ability to make smalltalk because this was ivy. ivy lau. the woman she’d become completely swept away by, and then proceeded to leave high and dry. “how are you?” she finally managed to say.

[cerendipitous]

tinseltowns​: 

         “actually,  can  we  circle  back  to  work  talk?”  the  words  come  framed  with  exhaled  laughter,  though  all  things  considered,  daniel  talk  is  just  as  much  about  work  as  it  is  about  personal  and  emotional  matters.  the  complications  of  it  all  somehow  still  doesn’t  stop  a  smile  from  stretching  across  coral  lips,  which  she  quickly  hides  around  a  long  pull  of  cucumber  water.  she  feels  completely  bare,  and  not  only  because  the  only  thing  she’s  wearing  right  now  is  a  cotton  towel  and  a  little  bit  of  lingering  steam  from  the  sauna.   “the  situation  is  …  ”  it’s  tempting  to  give  a  diplomatic  answer,  the  kind  she’d  have  to  offer  to  vogue  in  her  upcoming  feature,  but  she  feels  safe  enough  with  zarah  to  divulge  the  truth,  “i  love  him  madly.  and  i  have  no  idea  what  happens  next  in  the  context  of  everything,  but  i  love  him  and  i’m  embarrassed  by  how  excited  i  am  to  work  with  him  again.”  there  it  is,  now  someone  knows  at  least.  “how  excited  i  am  to  work  with  both  of  you.  and  i’m  not  just  excited  because  i  get  to  work  with  you   guys,  but  also  because  i  know  it’s  going  to  be  really  fucking  good,  z.  i  mean,  holy  hell,  this  is  what  we’ve  been  waiting  for,  right?”  the  two  women  had  always  been  scavenging  through  scripts  to  find  the  right  one  for  their  first  production  together.  it  only  felt  fitting  that  it’d  come  ribboned  with  a  script  by  daniel.  pale  legs  traipse  towards  the  bubbling  jacuzzi,  dipping  her  toes  in  the  sizzling  water.  “how  are  you  feeling  about  it  all?”

“that bad, huh?” zarah’s brows remained lifted, tilting her head in gentle curiosity. she had her inklings and guesses about what was going on between the estranged couple. and by ‘going on’ she meant she had a strong feeling in her gut that their marriage was far from over. perhaps they just needed someone to give their heads a little knock together? slight encouragement was what she called it. although it probably wasn’t her place to be doing that. the sound that managed to escape from zarah when julia spoke her truth was probably high enough for dogs to hear, and she quickly covered her mouth to avoid making an absolute spectacle. “i knew it! i knew it! oh jules!” she couldn’t and wouldn’t wipe the smile from her face, “what happens is you let me play cupid and pull some strings here and there - i’m kidding obviously - unless you want me to? and then i can be not kidding. i can parent trap you both like that.” she snapped her fingers. zarah had to admit that the idea of both working on this project with julia and daniel and potentially witnessing the rekindling of their relationship really got to the romantic in her. and she hadn’t be genuinely this excited about something for years. it was fresh and new and everything people didn’t expect of her - a real surprise. “honestly? i feel like i can’t hold in how thrilled i am. you slog through so much stuff in this industry that you don’t wanna do, and when you find something like this it sort of feels like you’ve struck gold or won the lottery of jobs.” she exhaled a slow sigh as she lowered herself into the warm jacuzzi water. “real talk here too, thank you for taking a chance on me, it means the world honestly.” a rare moment of serious, raw honesty from zarah, and she meant every word. 

[jesssicaday]

HANNAH SIMONE  as cece parekh in new girl season three, episode twenty-two “dance”

[cerendipitous]

unscripteds​: 

for  :  @cerendipitous​

location  :  zarah’s  place,  los  angeles.

          things  have  gone  back  to  normal …  at  least,  as  normal  as  they  possibly  can.  he’s  come  to  zarah  with  an  apologetic  offering  of  coffee  and  pastries,  an  act  of  contrition  for  completely  abandoning  her  at  the  after  party  without  explanation.  though,  he’s  certain  she’s  seen  the  photos,  seen  the  selectively  chosen,  out  of  context  videos  of  him  tussling  with  a  photographer.  even  if  she  hadn’t  by  now,  he  gave  zarah  the  highlights  :   julia  having  one  too  many,  dodging  the  press  as  they  slipped  out  the  back,  the  lone  paparazzi  lying  in  wait  and  accosting  them  and  going  legs  up  when  daniel  attempted  to  prevent  any  invasive  photos  from  appearing  on  tmz.  needless  to  say  …  he’s  running  on  fumes.  “ so,  yeah,  that’s  been  my  life  for  the  past  week  and  now  this  guy  is  claiming  emotional  distress,  assault,  and  that  i  owe  twelve  grand  to  replace  his  camera. ”  he  runs  a  quick  hand  over  his  face,  along  his  beard.  pausing  for  a  moment  with  a  sigh  before  reaching  into  his  bag  to  pull  out  a  script  and  the  tattered  book  he’d  hunted  for  in  every  used  book  shop  in  L.A.  “ uh,  anyway,  i  came  to  drop  these  off  for  you  to  read.  julia  read  that  book  a  few  years  ago  and  dropped  hints  here  and  there  about  me  adapting  it.  so,  i  looked  into  buying  the  rights  and  wanted  it  to  be  a  surprise,  but  by  the  time  i  got  them  well… ”  the  sentence  hung  there,  unfinished,  in  the  air  between  them.  “ and,  sorry  for  the  musty  old  book  smell.  apparently  it’s  all  out  of  print  in  the  states.  i’d  give  you  a  quick  summing-up,  but  i  feel  like  it’s  something  you  need  to  go  into  blind  because  it’s…  completely  barmy,  really. ”

"i mean this with complete love when i say that you two are messy as fuck.” zarah laughed, shaking her head in almost disbelief. she was rarely surprised by anything in the circle of fame and hollywood anymore, but she had to give credit where credit was due - julia and daniel certainly knew how to get the paps in a frenzy. “are you gonna pay him or let him fight you in court? twelve grand is a lot for a fucking camera...jesus.” reaching for her coffee, she took a big gulp, then turned her attention to the pastries daniel had brought. an apology wasn’t necessary, but when it came in the form of coffee and baked goods, who was she to turn it down? before zarah was able to choose a pastry, however, her attention was snagged by the script and book he retrieved from his bag. a vague recollection of their discussion from the after party swam into her mind, and she was immediately interested. “oh, this is it?” the book was in a sorry state, so she handled it delicately as he passed it over, her fingertips skimming over the cover gently as she peeked inside. she could feel that familiar buzz of excitement zing into her body - a new project, but this time something she could actually sink her teeth into. “hey, don’t apologise about the smell,” she proceeded to give the book an exaggerated sniff, “i love the smell of old books. is that weird? i wanna say it’s not, but the way you’re looking at me now is telling me that it might be.” zarah set the book down on the counter, then finally reached for a pastry to take a bite. “i’ll definitely give both of these a read - god, i’m excited already!”

[cerendipitous]

serrakavas​: 

“I think I understand what you want—” the brunette claimed as she glanced up from the message she’d been waiting for had just come in.

A small smile touched her lips, there was every chance Serra had misinterpreted what Zarah’s agent and the funny woman herself had explained, but the artist was fairly certain she caught the concept. In fact, as someone working on leveling up herself, there was less of a chance she didn’t get it.

Now, it was often Serra took on this type of work, though every now and then a favor called in and she paid up. Plus, in this town, this industry, connections were everything. This took Serra back a bit to the beginnings of her career and she kind of loved it.

“I think the most important thing is you being yourself,” a smile touched her lips, “I’ll make sure to get the shots you’re desiring but what’s most important to me is your comfort through it all. If you feel like you’re forcing it then we need to regroup.”

zarah nodded. she had a feeling that serra was on her wavelength and immediately felt at ease with the whole shoot. it was inevitable that a slice of her humour would weave itself into her new promotional shots, but she was hoping for ‘comedian with an edge’ - someone who can do a little more than make people laugh. “yeah. exactly, that’s just what i’m thinking.” she brushed a hand through her hair to take it out of her face. “do you just want me over here?” she gestured to a nearby chair, “or is this fancy bit of wall a better backdrop?” zarah was willing to take direction in any direction. “you’re the creative genius here, just pick me up and place me- not literally...obviously.” she let out a good-humoured chuckle.

[cerendipitous]

do you miss ivy?

"the short answer is yes, absolutely i do. we were in love, and even though what we had was a small burst of happiness, when it was good it was really good." zarah paused for a beat. "but when it was bad, it was really bad." she took a moment to collect herself. "no one tells you how hard relationships can be when shit hits the fan or how impossible they are when things just get tough. and no one tells you that they're fucking complicated either! i wish someone had told me." @ivylau

[cerendipitous]

Did you have a threesome with Julia and Daniel?

"a threesome in the traditional sense?" zarah arched a brow, a playful smirk appearing on her face. "i'm sad to say that i didn't - i haven't consummated our friendship in that way. however..." she paused for dramatic effect, a pause that lasted longer than it really needed to, "there may be something else in the works involving the three of us. potentially." another pause, one which saw the return of that same playful expression as before, "could it be called a threesome - maybe? who am i to kiss and tell?" @unscripteds @tinseltowns

[cerendipitous]

what inspires you?

"oh, other comedians, definitely. those out there just doing their thing and entertaining the world. the people I've worked with too - not to sound cheesy, but I always feel like I learn something I didn't know I needed to know. does that make sense?" she laughed. "life inspires me too, but then I guess that's true for most people in comedy. stupid stuff happens every day and you just save it up in your brain to use at a later date." she tapped the side of her head with her index finger. "you'd better watch your back if you know me - chances are, I've got some stories!"

[cerendipitous]

Would you ever cast your ex in one of your projects?

zarah exhaled a sheepish sound and tried her best not to react too much to the question. "I don't think my ex would want to be in the same room as me, let alone work with me." she didn't want to make a joke out of it, but that was always her defence mechanism when she felt uncomfortable - laughing was better than cringing. "I suppose you never know what the future holds though." she shrugged in a non-committal way.

[cerendipitous]

@ivylau​​

grocery shopping was on the cards for today and zarah really couldn’t be bothered. she was slightly hungover and dressed as incognito as she could manage in a pair of slim-fit jeans and an oversized shirt. she was thankful that she wasn’t someone the paps really went after - at least not yet anyway. a semi-successful comedic actress with a less than interesting personal life wasn’t really a target. 

she traversed the aisles, falling into auto-pilot, and she reached for the items she knew she needed without even thinking about it. as she grabbed and tossed, zarah yawned, thinking instead how she could be back home soon, loafing on the couch with whatever was on tv. whilst her attention was elsewhere, she didn’t notice the fact that her shopping cart was careening over to some poor unsuspecting person checking out the middle aisle. “oh shit-” she gasped the moment she realised, scrambling to reach for it, but was unsuccessful. great. now she could add injuring a member of the public to the list of stupid things she’d done. “i’m so sorry! clumsy should be my middle name, i’m such an idiot...” 

[cerendipitous]

zarah kulkarni comedy actress aspiring director forty she/her/hers

[cerendipitous]

@tinseltowns​

"I know work talk is off the table for this weekend, seeing as we’re fully embracing the relaxation, but am I allowed to be nosy and ask what the situation is with you and daniel right now...?” zarah trailed off, taking a long sip of her cucumber and lemon infused water as she raised her eyebrows encouragingly at julia. “i’m just asking as a concerned friend of you both.”

[cerendipitous]

@serrakavas​

“so, I don’t know if my agent talked you through what I’m after for this shoot? I’m thinking less ‘funny girl’ and more ‘semi-serious woman’ - does that make sense?” zarah wouldn’t be at all surprised if it didn’t because she was terrible at explaining herself sometimes. it turned out that trying to rebrand herself wasn’t as easy as she’d first anticipated.

[cerendipitous]

⁇

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ ZARAH → DANIEL, 03:44 AM. ] ard you WAKE?!? [ ZARAH → DANIEL, 03:49 AM. ] u hqve ideqs aboyt your scrwenppY ZND K EED TO TDPP YOU BWFORE I RORGET!! [ ZARAH → DANIEL, 03:53 AM. ] k'vr been hig by inspifation dNIEL

[cerendipitous]

&

Send “&” for a LOVING text

[ ZARAH → JULIA, 21:32 PM. ] julia julia juliaaa [ ZARAH → JULIA, 21:33 PM. ] i just wanted to let you know how lucky i am to have met you when i did [ ZARAH → JULIA, 21:34 PM. ] genuine friends aren't always easy to come by in this industry, so it means a lot [ ZARAH → JULIA, 21:39 PM. ] yes i am on the wine so am feeling a bit gushy [ ZARAH → JULIA, 21:40 PM. ] sorry if i'm being a creepy friend ❤️

[jesssicaday]

HANNAH SIMONE as sam in not dead yet (2023)