❝ STATISTICAL FACT: Cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. ❞
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❝ STATISTICAL FACT: Cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. ❞
Like this for a starter/greeter from Mary Jane!
Peter: I am such an idiot.
MJ: …
Peter: …
MJ: if you’re waiting for me to disagree, it’s gonna be a long night.
7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN MEME
My muse and your muse have been chosen to be locked in a closet for 7 minutes in heaven. Send “SEVEN MINUTES” for my muse to generate a number 1-25 of what happens between our muses
Keep reading
Parks & Recs meme, prt. 2 !
Tom Haverford.
❝ One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn’t know what to do. I just moved! ❞ ❝ TREAT YOURSELF! ❞ ❝ This is the hardest I’ve worked on anything since… Wow. I’ve never worked hard on anything. What a cool life! ❞ ❝ Your boobs are dead! ❞ ❝ [name], ask me if I’m sad. ❞ ❝ Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot. ❞ ❝ I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more road for me on the low road. ❞ ❝ Oh my god, what have I done? Like, to humanity! ❞ ❝ God, you don’t deserve the internet! ❞
Donna Meagle.
❝ Treat. Yo. Self! ❞ ❝ Is there some kind of medication that you maybe need a lot of, and have taken none of or a little too much of? ❞ ❝ You best watch yourself. ❞ ❝ If you don’t like how I tweet, don’t follow me. ❞ ❝ Do I look like I drink water? ❞ ❝ I’m chilling. ❞ ❝ Yes, I am a hunter. And it’s you-season. ❞ ❝ Come on now, you know I don’t give a fuck. ❞ ❝ You don’t watch Game of Thrones? Have you seen those Dothraki dudes? They can get it! ❞
Chris Traeger.
❝ You did a great job, Superstar! ❞ ❝ I believe you’re capable of much more. ❞ ❝ I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do. ❞ ❝ Your inbox is literally filled with penises. ❞ ❝ You’re literally the meanest person I’ve ever met. ❞ ❝ I have literally a 1,000 questions. ❞ ❝ It literally broke my heart. ❞ ❝ If I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair. ❞ ❝ I’m so happy! ❞
Ann Perkins.
❝ Jogging is the worst. I mean, I know it keeps you healthy, but God, At what cost? ❞ ❝ I don’t know, I’m weird with kids. ❞ ❝ I’m dating myself right now. ❞ ❝ She/he has no flaws! There was one time I thought she/he farted. But it was me. ❞ ❝ Oh my God, are you serious? ❞
Garry Gergich.
❝ I– no one ever lets me talk this long. I just got lost. ❞ ❝ That was really something! ❞ ❝ What? ….. I didn’t know I was adopted. ❞ ❝ Do you need help with anything? ❞ ❝ My birthday is February 29th! ❞ ❝ Comic Sans always screams fun. ❞
various starters
❛ you’re a weapon and weapons don’t weep. ❜
❛ hurt me once, I’ll kill you twice. ❜
❛ never trust a survivor until you learn what they did to stay alive. ❜
❛ death is the only god that comes when you call. ❜
❛ I am teeth. I am royal. you are nothing to me. ❜
❛ the sun will rise and we will try again. ❜
❛ we’re just kids. we aren’t supposed to be heroes. ❜
❛ I like my women like I like my Absinthe: bitter and intoxicating. ❜
❛ what doesn’t kill me better run. ❜
❛ she wasn’t looking for a knight. she was looking for a sword. ❜
❛ don’t dehumanize bad people, because it’s their humanity which makes what they’ve done so terrifying. ❜
❛ she isn’t just pretty. she is otherworldly and vaguely threatening. ❜
❛ magic is not good or evil. is a knife evil? only if the wielder is. ❜
❛ I don’t want your crown. see, I’ve come to burn your kingdom down. ❜
❛ they broke my wings. they forgot I have claws. ❜
❛ all that blood was never beautiful, it was just red. ❜
❛ what do you do when there’s no hero in the story? simple. you kill the monster and crown yourself. ❜
❛ how terrible it is, to love something that death can touch. ❜
❛ you may not be interested in war, but it is interested in you. ❜
❛ I feel divinity in my bones like aching. like fire. ❜
❛ you make me feel and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. now. ❜
❛ you are losing my interest and that is very dangerous. ❜
❛ she will burn your kingdoms down, herself with it, if it means your ruin. ❜
❛ it’s okay to be scared. it means your about to do something brave. ❜
❛ she looks like divine absolution. ❜
❛ I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find and impossible to forget. ❜
❛ be careful with words. they can be forgive, but never forgotten. ❜
❛ you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself. ❜
❛ I’m tired of fighting. for once, I want to be fought for. ❜
❛ never run back to what broke you. ❜
❛ I was quite, but not blind. ❜
❛ your gut knows what’s up. trust that bitch. ❜
❛ we all eat lies when our hearts are hungry. ❜
❛ do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. ❜
❛ I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a donut. ❜
❛ you can miss something but not want it back. ❜
❛ you can’t save people, you can only love them. ❜
❛ I came, I saw, I made it awkward. ❜
❛ we buy shite we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. ❜
❛ you’re always one decision away from a different life. ❜
❛ my brain has too many tabs open. ❜
❛ I’m not saying I hate you, just that you’re like the Monday of people. ❜
❛ there’s no ‘we’ in fries. ❜
❛ apology accepted, trust denied. ❜
❛ death and I have been scandalously intimate for some time now. ❜
❛ life happens. coffee helps. ❜
❛ I am mine before I am ever anyone else’s. ❜
❛ I rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony. ❜
❛ very early in my life it was already too late. ❜
❛ is that a threat or are you flirting with me. ❜
❛ was the use of force necessary in completing your objectives? ❜
❛ I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand. ❜
❛ I do bad things, and I do them very well. ❜
❛ you drink too much, you cuss too much and you have questionable morals. you’re everything I ever wanted. ❜
❛ they will kill you, but first they will have to catch you. ❜
❛ drugs might kill you but they’ll never break your heart. ❜
❛ good girls are just bad girls that haven’t been caught. ❜
❛ a pretty face doesn’t guarantee a pretty heart. ❜
❛ no airbag, we die like men. ❜
❛ true evil is, above all, seductive. ❜
❛ it takes more courage to suffer than to die. ❜
❛ you must be lucky to avoid the wolf every time. but the wolf? he only needs enough luck to catch you once. ❜
❛ justice is vengeance in prettier packaging. ❜
PVRIS: White Noise
“This isn’t violence” “I give it time” “But it never seems to end” “I feel a fire in the back of my throat” “Don’t you try to run right now, ‘cause baby I could burn you down” “I can’t help myself” “Oh, you’re killing me right now” “I love the things we do when it’s just me and you” “I’m burning up” “Don’t wanna open my eyes” “I need a miracle to get away from you” “I’m not spiritual” “I think you’re a saint and I think you’re an angel” “I know you’re gone now but I still wait for you” “Oh, who let you in?” “You walk around like you own the place” “Guess it was all my fault” “Never thought that I would feel like this” “I’ve had enough” “It’s my house and I think it’s time to get out” “It isn’t yours anymore” “But darling, you can’t stay” “Haven’t you heard? I’m not yours anymore” “But you’ve got it all wrong” “You’re a poor unfortunate soul” “You’re shallow and empty and filled with regret” “Don’t think I didn’t notice” “I’m watching. I’m waiting” “I’m speaking. Can you hear me?” “It’s not enough” “You can’t cheat death when you’re digging your own grave” “You’re out of line” “Your bridges are burning and all the tables are turning” “What you give is what you get and in your case that’s nothing but guilt and regret” “I can’t sleep” “Just wanted to say ‘goodnight’” “Here comes the hardest part” “In what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you?” “I don’t even know how it happens” “Well I hope you’re having sweet dreams, and you call me when you wake up” “Darling, don’t be so shy” “I’ll see you at midnight” “You make my world spin” “But you make me feel alive” “I swear that I’ll be fine” “I’m sorry I keep pushing you away” “I don’t wanna fight” “Why can’t you stay?” “Make me believe” “It doesn’t feel right” “You’ve had me going out of my mind” “I wanna feel something” “I shouldn’t give in, but I let you win. I let you in” “Find a new place” “I won’t let you in”
Send “Nudge” on anon if you want to ship with my muse but you’re too shy to say it off anon.
Bonus: Tell me something about your character that you think would make mine fall for yours.
dont ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean im ignoring like 8 ppl right now but still ???
Happy Birthday Madelaine Petsch
ೃ✧ like or reblog if you save ೃ✧
vagxry:
“Well if they won’t tell you their appreciation, I’ll have to be your first official fan. I did get a peek at your rehearsal, and you’ve definitely got yourself a good group and plenty of talent to spare.”
Her laughter is adorable- women in all the universes he had traveled to simply were not appreciated enough. It was one of the few thing he actually missed about the medieval era. That, and the plague doctors. He still had one of those outfits laying about somewhere he needed to recover at some point.
“I would be delighted to see an official performance. But I would feel compelled to offer you dinner at some point to thank you.”
“If you turn the charm up any more, I won’t be able to tell if you’re flirting, being genuine, or ass kissing,” she laughed. For a moment, it felt as if it were slipping into the last category but Mary Jane would take it either way. Compliments and validation were her best friends.
She put a hand to her chest, green eyes closing as she nodded. “Consider yourself a ticket holder already. Dinner does sound lovely. We’re not going to one of those fancy places where the portions are small enough that a bird wouldn’t be able to get full on them, right? I can tell you now that I’m not one of those girls whose shy about eating. Just hand me the biggest, juiciest hamburger.”
“I have to say, the food is impressive. It was a good choice to come here with you. I might splurge a bit and get some of that chocolate cake I see the waiters with.”
vagxry replied to your post: honey your url is really unfortunate
[[COME AT ME ANON. PUT UP YOUR FISTS AND GET READY, BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, SAY IT. I’M READY]]
Talked to some people on Discord and apparently the anon must have gone straight to NSFW thinking. This is why we can’t have nice things.
honey your url is really unfortunate
Using the word ‘honey’ before anything usually indicates that something bad’s about to be said. And, in my area, using it can often be seen as derogatory so let’s avoid that, shall we?
Now, if you could come off anon and explain to me as to why my url is supposedly unfortunate, that’d be great. Google’s giving me nothing.
Continued from [X] | @8leggedfreakazoid
“Peter, when have I ever worried about what people think about me? I’ll answer that for you. If they’re not writing my paychecks, then they don’t matter to me. Obviously, you and choice few people are the exception to that.”
She smiled and reached over to thread her arm with his, nudging him with her shoulder. “Come on, Tiger. Why don’t we live a little? As far as I know, there’s no booze involved either so we should be just fine.”
Like this for a starter/greeter from Mary Jane!
EVENTS 2017 if you save or use some of these images give like. so will give us motivation to continue to post ♥