they/them pronouns

Deadname blog - deleting to clear my life of negativity.

[starlightmoodboards]

Hey guys!

My mental health has gone to hell.

Please consider giving me moodboard requests! It’s free! I can do them for your blogs, characters, genders, relationships, zodiac signs, just general vibes and colors, etc. I am very creative. The examples can be found here (some of them are not mine because tumblr search is bullshit?? anyway, those which are not reblogged are mine!) and here.

Moodboards literally give me life but i can’t do em without requests (i can’t even bring myself to finish the doctor who meme because it gets no notes). Also i have no energy left to self-promote now so i guess nobody ever will see this post ever. Still, I have to try because I don’t really know what to do. I need to feel comfortable again.

Please reblog this if you want to help me out!

[cerulean-archived]

Hopping over to my other blog, I'll check back later but I wanna make sure I don't forget to queue things there while I'm working on the house.

Also, I have a desk now!!! The setup was awful and I still keep falling over things but I can do some pretty cool stuff by the middle of this month~

[starlightmoodboards]

kittens+pastel/comfort for @cerulean-archived!

(also, i am pretty sure all kittens love autistic people uncoditionally)

[cerulean-archived]

!!!

This is... too much cute. I'm sharing it to my other blogs, thank you so much!

And the kitten headcanon, just... 🌸

[asynca]

<3

[kaidens-mind-deactivated2020010]

oh burgundy heels. 👠♥️

i am coming out about my suicide attempt and the burgundy wedged heels that stopped me.

i feel like too often as a transgender woman i am misunderstood.

the week was not going too well because i had a life numbing and body immobilizing panic attack on a tuesday afternoon. because of this i had to be taken from a job interview, in an ambulance, to the hospital. when i arrived they asked me if i had been having suicidal thoughts and i said, “yes.” after that, they put me on “suicide watch” ( an intensive monitoring process used to ensure that a person cannot attempt suicide) for about six hours. my suicide watch process involved the doctors making me take off all of my clothes, my undergarments, my jewelry, my shoes, and my phone so i could sit in one of the hospital paper robes. any privacy i perceived i had was gone. i was asked a plethora of questions about my life, then i had to out my self to the doctor. this led to him asking about my genitals and what surgeries i had, then he and everyone else misgendered me for the next six hours while i was in a room with a stranger that was deemed something like my “guardian angel”.

i woke up later that week on thursday in my bed at my parents house. i was feeling mentally numb and so depressed walking to my bathroom that flowers would have been dying as i walked by them the way they do in cartoons. i got to my bathroom and i looked at myself in the mirror for a while. i do not know if i was looking for something, but i definitely did not find anything. no value, no worth, and no hope. because my mind is powerful and depression has a very subtle magic to it, i snapped out of my daze halfway to my university class driving my own car. i looked around at the other cars, the trees, the light and i felt nothing. the light illuminated green and i started to drive very fast out of an angry surge of emotion. swerving through cars and going at a speed that would have definitely gotten me taken to jail…or killed if i ran into a car going fast enough. i was going to do it, i was going to try to kill myself by running into another car. i wanted it so badly in the moment. i wanted to end all of my trans-panic, harassment ,exterior hatred and misunderstanding, loneliness, depression. i wanted to end all of that as i saw the red light and the stopped car. i sped up. i was about seven seconds from getting a release…

i bet you can’t guess what stopped me.

i was speeding at miles per hour that could not be matched by anyone near me. i wanted to die and i wanted all of my hurt to stop. then my real guardian angel appeared. there was a brief two second moment where i thought about the burgundy wedged heels i had just bought for my birthday. i would never get to wear those heels if i crashed my car into someone else’s car. that was not fair to me and that definitely would not have been fair to the person i would have hit and possibly killed if i had gone through with this suicide attempt. so, immediately i stomped on the break and slowed down just in time to not hit the red car in front of me. i slowed down just in time to take another deep breath. i slowed down just in time to let the earth’s colors fill my eyes again. i slowed down just in time to type this story in my newly bought shoes.

oh burgundy heels. 👠♥️

[starlightmoodboards]

transgender Missy for @cerulean-archived

~requests are open!

[starlightmoodboards]

Hey guys!

My mental health has gone to hell.

Please consider giving me moodboard requests! It’s free! I can do them for your blogs, characters, genders, relationships, zodiac signs, just general vibes and colors, etc. I am very creative. The examples can be found here (some of them are not mine because tumblr search is bullshit?? anyway, those which are not reblogged are mine!) and here.

Moodboards literally give me life but i can’t do em without requests (i can’t even bring myself to finish the doctor who meme because it gets no notes). Also i have no energy left to self-promote now so i guess nobody ever will see this post ever. Still, I have to try because I don’t really know what to do. I need to feel comfortable again.

Please reblog this if you want to help me out!

[cerulean-archived]

I’ve moved blogs, this one still has the PG13 threads while I make a threadtracker. Those will be moved or dropped, but the archive stuff will remain on a sideblog for credit/reference. Hope you’re all having a great weekend! I’ll message a few people before I ghost.

[cerulean-archived]

Now that I've shared relevant information that could affect my followers, I'm logging off of this site to work on other things that don't have as high a possibility of being problematic today.

[lulanight-moved-deactivated2021]

You Are Not Hallucinating

Tumblr has put out an April Fools update that includes flashing imagery of what they’re naming “Tumblecoin.” There is currently no way to disable it.

If you suffer from hallucinations or seizures, I would highly recommend not using Tumblr on your web browser today (April 1st), due to the intrusive and flashing images they have added.

[mukhannath]

here is how to disable it 

right click the spinning coin and click inspect element

delete this line of code

close the inspect pane. and then dont refresh your browser or navigate to a new page or youll have to do it again. but if you plan on scrolling down your dash for a good long while this should do it. 

[officialprydonchapter-deactivat]

I’m tagging any tumblcoin stuff I reblog as #tumblcoin for blacklisting purposes

[cerulean-archived]

This is helpful, I saw some confusing stuff last night about tumblcoin being shared without context. Protect yourself if you have epilepsy / mental health issues, especially if it will cause seizures or hallucinations.

[cerulean-archived]

Anyways I've been talking to friends on discord and here, no need to ask if I'm okay. I am not deleting right now (mostly cuz I keep seeing the stupidest funny shit like the alternate names for Doctor Who episodesand it's actually WTF I know which ones so many of these are lmao)

I'm not going to make any rash decisions before the 9th anyhow (and that's because I know that my healthcare issue will be resolved that day)

[cerulean-archived]

"Magic is the thing that makes the Children of Earth special."

I love this show so damn much.

[logarto]

happy trans day. wild how every single trans emerged from the swamp on the same day huh

[cerulean-archived]

where do I get some of that special moisturizer found only in remote areas of this swamp, yknow, that kind that radiates trans magic while eliminating dysphoria and transphobic nonsense

[cerulean-archived]

Okay, I owe a couple of starters, a crazy amount of replies, and I do not even understand what happened to my blogs from the sleep deprivation issues, I just remember being ridiculously terrified for days and trying to act the way normal humans act.

[cerulean-archived]

.

[boy-obsesed-barbie]

Happy Passover to all my Jewish followers and mutuals!

[weeb-potato]

When your friend does something stupid in public and you can’t stop them: