jude moore || 25 || he/him
my whole life they said i'd be nothing
well i'm something
and i would rather be the
s t r a y
than be nothing to no one at all
“You got an extra phone charger on you? Mine’s got a short in it. I was gonna grab one from the gas station but they wanna charge me, like. Fifteen dollars.” Jude grimaces, like the cost of the cord insulted his grandma or something. “It’s outrageous, is what it is. Damn tourist towns.”
“I would take a cave.” Arms crossed in front of him to rest his chin on, satisfied that his little tantrum got enough attention for him to get over it. “A bear would probably make a cool roommate. Imagine being known as the dude who gave up on modern life and got accepted by the bears. Shit would be sick.” Until the bears got hungry, anyway. A minor detail. “Okay, fair. I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. For a bunch of reasons. Phone calls are their own special level of hell.”
“Bats would be more like it. Or just go full Gollum. It’s a whole, like. Cave system. It’s huge. Got a few lakes ‘n streams and a whole buncha...stalag..mites? It’s been a minute since I got dragged there three times a year, I don’t remember the full schtick anymore.” When it’s about the only interesting thing about your hometown, that tends to be the easiest field trip option. “I worked in a call center when I was in college. It kinda got me desensitized to ‘em, but mostly I hate phone calls unless I really gotta do it.”
he drops into the opposite empty chair with an overly dramatic, heavy sigh. “i think if i have to answer one more email i’m just gonna delete my whole google account. we’ll all pretend i never existed and i’ll go live under the pier like a hermit.” and with that, he lays his head on the table. going still for a few moments before peeking back up to make sure his theatrics were getting adequate attention. | @cfjvde and/or @ofqu1nn
Jude hummed in agreement, glancing up from his phone to watch the others’ dramatics, mindful enough to move his phone away from his face before he spoke. “Personally, I’d’ve probably picked the caves back home, but. Pier hermit sounds almost as cool as cave hermit.” He goes back to scrolling on his phone, regarding the emails he himself is currently ignoring the hell out of, before setting it down entirely. “It’s still better than taking phone calls all day. That shit sucked.”
“ don’t all girls dance around naked around a firepit & burn their ex’s shit when they get together? ” her playful intonation makes a mockery of it, drowning any truth behind layers of rampant lunacy. laura laughs, her sweet as bubblegum, chidlike giggle that leaps from the back of her throat & holds a chunk of almond hair between expending fingers . “ does my hair still smell like ash? ” @irvingstarters
“No idea. I think mine blocked me, so I can’t really ask.” The absent twisting of the ring on his finger isn’t a conscious thing, more just something that is. He doesn’t think she’d be the type to burn anything he left behind, but. Apparently he barely knew her anyway. Anyway. “I can’t smell anything from here, so if someone else says you do, I think they’re probably just weird.” He shrugged at the question, his time in town having already rendered that less than strange, in comparison.
“she’s a simple person. she sees a cool rock , she picks it up.” or, well, gracelynn does. “but now my pockets are full of rocks - and if i was to go swimming with ’em i’d sink to the bottom. the fuck do i do with all these rocks?” / @cfjvde .
Jude nodded, though he couldn’t say he got it. He was an only child, practically, so there were never any younger siblings or nieces and nephews running around. Kids weren’t really in his sphere, and they were actually kinda weird. Just. Tiny little humans that were learning how to be humans. Weird. “Uh, a jar. maybe? It’d probably be easier to keep that in, like, a bag or somethin’ instead’a. Like. Just usin’ your pockets.”
“There’s this pain in my chest, recently,” the rosary dangling against her sternum is laced in between her fingers. She tugs it, fiddles with the beads, pupils huge and shivering. “A horrible pain. I don’t know if it’s my heart… Or my lungs… I don’t know where… It is. Can you tell me?” Perched upon the windowsill of a stranger’s home, the party surrounding them is encased in green light. So many bodies. The carpet is dingy and gritty. There are broken bottles across the bedroom floor. Scratches in the leather upholstery of an ancient couch. Mon takes the wrist of her company and directs them, places their palm to her chest, the space right below her collarbone. Thump-thump-thump. Against her back is nothing but cold air and a fire escape. She seems lost, here, her hair damp from sweat and sticking to her cheeks, framing her face like a portrait of a woman etched in the newspaper. Displaying her beauty, breathlessly, hoping someone will notice. “Can you feel it? My body? Has it died?”
Jude’s own cross necklace feels as if it is burning him, though he doesn’t voice this. It feels strange to speak aloud, to speak into existence and risk making his own turmoil tangible. The necklace had been a gift from his grandmother, the chain replaced frequently in his life but the pendant always the same, a cold, unyielding reminder of what he came from, what was expected of him. And here he was, dragged to some party in someone’s home by...someone. Honestly, things just happened to him at this point. He sometimes felt like throwing the damn thing away would do him some good, but. He’s still got his wedding ring on his finger, for God’s sake. Jude is not the sort to be done with things and be rid of them. He’s the sort that lingers, that wallows in his own torment and pain and almost forces himself to feel it, like that’s the form of penance he must take up to atone for whatever atrocities he committed to wind up the way he has.
He’s snapped out of his own aforementioned wallowing when he’s grabbed by the other, and his hand is placed over her heart. He feels it hammer in her chest, and he’s aware that it’s faster than his own. “Um. No. It’s alive.” What, her body? Just her body? Musings about the existence and subsequent life of a soul notwithstanding. “You’re alive.”
03 car trunk 16 cd collection, 25 recent google history
When his wife-- er, ex-wife? It still felt strange to say. When his ex-wife had formally served him with the divorce papers, Jude hadn’t known what to feel. Empty, a bit. Somewhat hurt. More relieved than he’d admit to. These were options, but were they normal? Jude, ever a child of the internet, only knew of one place to find out. He searched up what he could, looked into how long the process was going to take, common snags, the rate at which divorced people got back together, any anxiety he could think of would be shared with the Google search bar, and not another soul. They wouldn’t subpoena search histories, but if they did all they would find was that Jude was, in a word, pathetic.
Perhaps the strangest part of divorce, that no one warned him about, was what it felt like to pack your respective things. Could he even say they had respective things? This was the woman he’d been with since high school, the woman he’d spent his entire adult life with up to this point. She kept the bed, he got the living room TV. He kept the love seat. She got the laundry detergent.
As he got his own things together, most of it headed for a storage facility til he found more stable housing, something clattered to the ground from a stack of items perched on the counter, the hard, thin plastic taktaktaking against the hardwood. He knelt down to pick it up, and her handwriting was the first thing he noticed. It was a blank CD she’d burned herself, and stuck a square of hand decorated construction paper in the front. “For JM ♡ ♡ ♡ “ was scrawled across the front, and Jude just...stared. When she’d awkwardly given him the CD, having tried to slip it in his backpack but getting busted for it and ultimately just handing it to him, the two of them weren’t who they were now.
Her eyes still lit up when she saw him, just saw him. He loved her, without question or doubt or waver. She was all he wanted. And now. Now she looked tired when she saw him, like he was a Christmas present from three years ago, perhaps still appreciated for its presence but not much else. And Jude still wanted her, of course he did! But part of him just didn’t. Part of him wanted more than this, wanted more than settling down with his high school sweetheart and trying to warp himself to fit her ideal. He knew she did the same, could see in the ways she would falter, like she’d changed her mind about what she thought he wanted or needed to hear.
The two of them had worked when this CD was new, but the fact of the matter was the case was cracked long before it had fallen off the counter, and the disc had been accumulating scratches for years. Some tracks skipped a bit, and others were practically impossible to listen to. It was still a perfectly good CD, and it held plenty of memories and history within it, but maybe, just maybe, leaving it on the shelf would be for the best.
No longer sure if he was just leaving the CD on the counter, Jude set it back down, and finished packing. He’ll finish and leave out by tomorrow everything he’s ever owned that will fit in his car crammed into the trunk, and he won’t take the CD with him. He’ll leave it for her. She can break that too, if she wants.
“Jesus, there’s really no bloody signal signal here is there?” The question wasn’t posted to anyone in particular as he glanced down at his mobile, camera slung across his shoulder. He didn’t need it but he preferred to upload his photos as he went, having had plenty of near-misses. It was still early in the day, the sun had just come up and he’d collected his gear from the car after his morning run. “Best network my arse.” He mumbled, once again, not to anyone around him which was, thankfully, few due to the hour anyway.
“I’ve heard some providers kinda suck in beach towns.” He’s not even entirely sure if there’s much credence to it, or if it’s just anecdotal, but. There’s nothing more awkward, in Jude’s opinion, to just standing there while someone speaks out loud, seemingly to no one. He’s always worried they might be talking to him, or at least expecting him to speak up, and that if he doesn’t he’ll look like a bigger weirdo than if he butted in when they didn’t ask. Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t, right? “My phone doesn’t really work that well in certain parts of town, but at that point I’m usually bumming wi-fi from one of the restaurants or bars or something.”
irving is a place where elijah is sure that it could be the picture perfect definition of ‘waterfront’ town or even idealistic. never words he’d use willingly, but the sat’s were good for something. the beaches were the best part of it all ( maybe not the people, but he was always a people person to begin with ) and most of the residents probably agreed. though there wasn’t much action on the beach today —– it’s cold, and not the best weather for it, but georgia loves it and how can he resist her cute face? spoiler: he can’t, actually. it’s like impossible. “you’d be surprised, she’s chewed at least two of mine.” only when she’s alone and left alone for longer periods of time that he’s not exactly happy with either. anxiety or something, maybe. for him. not for georgia. thinks she’s just a little shit in that case. “where you headin’?”
“Eh, y’know...around. It’s kinda lame, actually. Beaches are, like, a new thing for me? I figure I might as well hang around now, while it’s still kinda novel, and while I’m still in town.” Saying it out loud almost made him sound like a dork, honestly. But he didn’t even know how much longer he’d be staying here, probably a few more months til he got back on his feet. Then he’d probably be off somewhere else, and beachfront property somewhere else seemed a bit out of his price range, even with his degree. This was probably his only shot at being right on the beach, and he wasn’t passing it up.
oh god, so awkward. jude was a good little southern baptist boy and waited til marriage, like he was always told to. sure, he’d fooled around before that, who hadn’t but as far as sex...him and his wife were both products of 18 years of abstinence only teaching. they knew, like, the logistics, but no one warned either of them how awkward and funny sex can be. jude totally fumbled trying to put the condom on --why did no one tell him it’s hard to keep it up in the moment?? oh god hopefully she doesn’t notice or something he’d die if she said something-- and he was so in his head he didn’t actually even finish. he’s better at it now but dear god he thought he was gonna die of embarrassment.
💋 How many people has my muse slept with?
a grand total of 3. his wife, obviously. a couple random women after he and his wife separated. nothing overly impressive or outrageous. a modest number, if you ask him. he almost hooked up with this one guy, just to try it, but he ended up getting too nervous. the guy was cool about it.
Send me a symbol. Please note that some answers may be NSFW.
🌟 What is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation?
💦 At what age did my muse lose their virginity?
😘 Would my muse have sex on the first date?
😊 Would my muse ever ask someone on a date?
👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?
😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?
💬 When did my muse go on their first date?
💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?
💗 Has my muse ever been in love?
👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like?
👰 Would my muse ever get married?
🌼 Would my muse prefer a big wedding or a small wedding?
🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?
🏩 What was my muse’s first time like?
🎆 Is my muse into monogamy?
💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?
🔥 Would my muse ever be up for a threesome?
👮 Has my muse ever had sex in public?
💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak?
💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?
💋 How many people has my muse slept with?
👀 Is my muse the type to sleep around?
👎 Would my muse ever cheat on their partner?
😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?
💲Would my muse ever date/marry/sleep with someone because they were rich?
👓 Would my muse ever lie for sex?
👿 Would my muse ever blackmail someone into sex?
🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush?
🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?
💍 Has my muse ever had a one-night stand?
💝 Does my muse like Valentine’s Day?
💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
titsay
yousharknotpass
gummygunk
vaporwave
stormborns
