despairousel :
    ( @chainsandsweat )
    The exercise contained in the tiny lilac notebook had been simple enough, and Tsumiki had recommended it to her patients so many times that she figured she ought to try it out for herself. She had filled the journal with letters, secret confessions, acknowledgements of friends and foes of the past and future for no reason except to vent, and they remained unaddressed and unsent, never meant for anyone’s eyes but hers.
    But now some of her deepest thoughts were being laid bare to a stranger, and she was poring over the pages with the glee of a demon.
    “Oh my god!” The girl cackled, showing a page to a nosy blonde peeking over her shoulder, “Is this your diary?”
    She couldn’t answer. She had only felt this sort of numbing terror a handful of times in her life, and now it had put a stopper in her throat. She tried to focus on picking up the papers and books that were still scattered across the floor, but her eyes couldn’t leave the notebook.
    “Oh, you have to show this to him.” The blonde chortled, tearing out the page in question.
                                Him? Which him? What “him”                                  could they possibly show?Â
    She knew exactly who, but to admit it…
    “P-Please…” Tsumiki managed to choke out, beginning to reach forward.
    But one of the girl’s lackeys ground her heel into the back of Tsumiki’s hand, pinning it to the ground before she could even think of standing. “No way. Consider it a favor. Now he’ll know to stay away from creeps like you before they get some kind of weird obsession. I’ll just stick it to his locker, how about that?”
                                They were right, of course. She                                 had no right to think of Nidai in                                 such a way, no right to think                                 about protecting him when he                                 hardly had any use for a peon like                                 her. It was stupid, stupid.
    “Please don’t-!”
    She was caught off guard by the blonde launching the notebook at her face, its spine bashing into her lip. But the page remained in the enemy’s hands, and she could only watch as the girl approached the coach’s locker, pinning it to the exterior with a sickeningly pink piece of washi tape. She was only thankful that they didn’t have much of an audience (Nidai wasn’t within eyesight, thank god), and when her hand was finally released, she abandoned the rest of her papers, shooting to her feet and beginning a mad sprint down the hall.
     She raised her hand to her face, soaking up the blood from her split lip with the bandage she kept on her arm. She was supposed to be putting in some volunteer hours at the track within the hour, but she risked seeing him there, and she simply couldn’t look him in the face. Never again. She’d have to switch her seat to the back, maybe transfer to a different homeroom, maybe stop attending class altogether.
                                (Would he be okay? What if he had                                 an attack? She had gotten so used                                 to checking up on him, how would                                 anyone else know what was normal?)
    Tsumiki avoided the track, instead making a beeline for the nurse’s office. Predictable, yes, but it was a safe space for her. Nidai would likely avoid her like the plague, and she could cry as loudly as she wanted once the door was closed.
   There was a strict schedule that a man like Nidai Nekomaru followed every single day. While he accepted change, it didn't come by very often and he liked it that way. Without also experience a structured life, he couldn't possibly expect his athletes to live such a way. It would make him an absolute fraud. Anything that an athlete had to do, their coach had to do as well!Â
   He had recently befriended the small, mousy nurse in his class and was more than happy as she offered to come and look over his track team after school since that was the season that was on at the moment. They had been meeting up after school as such for the past few weeks and Nidai had found that while vastly different, the two of them got along swimmingly. He enjoyed having Mikan around as she was helpful on the field and a kind soul whom he found himself having fun with both on the field and in the classroom. He would dare to say that they were becoming friends!Â
   But when Mikan doesn't show up after school, Nidai felt that something was wrong. Had she forgotten? No, that didn't sound like her at all. Maybe something had come up. She was a nurse to be, after all! Surely it wouldn't hurt to check up on her, though. She often was checking up on him and how he was doing with all of his health issues, after all. It would be good of him to return the favor since he did care about how she was doing.Â
   Yelling for his team to start their warm ups while he was going to be right back, Nidai heads towards the building. Not after shouting for extra laps for the one who dared to joke about such an important thing as taking a good shit, though. But once the team was settled, he was off on his mission of looking for his missing classmate.Â
   Though as he was walking through the hall, something catches his eye. A note on his locker, pasted to the metal with pink washi tape. At first, the coach was confused as to what this letter was. Maybe it was a notice from one of his athletes? But when he had done a headcount earlier, everyone was there. It wasn't like anyone had called ot of practice for any reason today.Â
   Thought it quickly became apparent to him what this letter was. A love letter. For him? That was quite unusual! But it wasn't all that unwelcome at all. What shocked him most is who the letter was from. Mikan herself-- Nidai only knew because of the handwriting. It was so similar to the notes that the nurse took in their home room and when he was often in the office to take his pills for the day. Was the fact that she had posted this letter to his locker the reason why she hadn't shown up to their agreed schedule on the field?Â
   Nidai was honestly touched by her words and how honest she was being with him. That meant she was starting to grow, even if it was just so little as to admit feelings for someone! The coach couldn't just leave her to hide on her own from him! Not after something like this!Â
   He first goes to check the classroom, hoping to catch her there. But his search turned up fruitless and he thinks about where she could be.Â
   "Ah! Of course!" he practically bellows to himself in the midst of the empty hall, a small laugh following up. "How could I be so foolish? She is a nurse after all!"Â
   With his realization, Nidai was off to the nurse's office, pushing open the door and making his presence known with a call of her name.Â
   "Mikan? Are you in here?"Â