i go by frankie, (yes, as in frankiero) but I can also just be 🕸️ or 🏁 anon if I'm getting silly
he/him
transmasc + bisexual hoe
things I'll write for:
MOSTLY mcr, fob, p!atd, ptv, (basically I'll try to write for any 2000s emo band the best I can xp)
I love vampires just so yk... anything to do with the living dead, really.
i am a WEIRD bitch!!!! There's not a lot of things ever to exist that I will be uncomfortable with.
I can write for all genders just specify :p I can do reader x [insert person] or ship content
so yeah send me your freaky depraved thoughts that you would only keep to yourself!! So mostly dead dove stuff is probably gonna end up here.. Other things like fluff or angst (love writing it) are highly appreciated. let me crawl inside your mind, okay?
OH MY FUCKING FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKER- DILF FRANK IERO WITH FLUFFY HAIR AND FACIAL HAIR TOO IM ACTUALLY GOING CRAZY- I feel like I have no one to talk tew about thissssssss-
ALL OF MCR LOOKED FUCKIN PERFECT TODAY BUT FRANKS NEW LOOK OMG? I NEED to talk about it.
Asides from “twink” Frankie, this is my other favorite form of him, this EXACT one. Someone gimme fic recs like this ugh-
IM GOING TO CRY OR THEOW UP DDDUDE. HOOKLLYLYLYLHFHDGDEGWGHWAAGHAHHHAHAHSHSSHGZGGhbzbHbzzbbzbbzbzbzbzbz zbab sbd. Sbs. Bbd zbbanz sb bsbBxbxHSBZBBZBSBBZNXJSKWMBD FKDJD SJSOIHD DDU FBDJD. DNE E DHH
Yes, this is an Alex g reference thanks for noticing!! Or not, idk. I've been liking this song a lot recently and this fic is very self indulgent so yea. The song barely relates but it sounds how the fic should if ykwim. Sorry for my rambling. Thanks. SEND ASKS.
(Tony Perry x GN!Reader)
Warnings/Tags: Self harm (kinda graphic), Angst but Tony is the Fluff :3, Hurt/Comfort, No use of Y/N but a petname like once, again REALLY self indulgent im sorry im too gay for this world, I think that's about it but if there's any other big ones lmk!!
You should feel grateful for how lucky you are right now. Your long-term loving boyfriend is home from tour just in time for the holidays, and you're friendly enough with his bandmates and other friends for them to come over to celebrate at your place. Hosting things even on a close-knit scale like this has always been overwhelming, but it was nothing compared to how you have been these past few months.
You can admit that there's been a few times where you've called Tony late at night because youjustcanttakethisyouneedhimtoholdyouandmakeitallgoaway (but at least for now hearing his soft words helped, even statelines away) . Though it's been 'bad 'way more than those times you actually called him, did more than shooting him a text saying you missed him a lot and hoping he's enjoying himself. You thought all the thoughts and reminders would go away once he was home.
And it did, for like the first night he was back and you got to feel him lying next to you instead of hugging pillows arranged to resemble a human. It was a little better to then wake up next to him, start to live a normal functioning life again, but it still kinda felt like you were pretending .
"Just like candy, you'll go down."
He kind of knew what had been going on with you from those calls, but not the entirety. He was really having the time of his life, having such a big outreach meeting so many fans and idols in the scene, you couldn't lay that on him. Even if he says he can take it and he cares, he shouldn't be kept up by negative thoughts relating to you.
--
Now, you're surrounded by the people he spent his time away with. Some unfamiliar faces but nonetheless friendly ones, good people. Good to know he wasn't around the wrong crowds, or at least ones decent enough to act nice to you. The kitchen and dining area has people drinking somewhat casually, playful fights over what dvd to put on your embarrassingly old and small TV, laughing way too loud at jokes that aren't that funny. It would be rewarding, this is what you always thought home would feel like. Yet you felt so, so empty and you couldn't understand why.
It got to a point. It always did. You didn't know what broke you. It wasn't someone's action or lack thereof, or even a specific thought plaguing your mind. It was just the will to go do it. Again. You needed it. It was a sick want, when you had what you needed right in front of you.
Tony was talking to Vic about some funny thing that happened a couple days ago that he probably already told you about but you weren't thinking enough to understand anything ; you were practically clinging to him on your ratty couch. Yours. yours. yet this is what you wanted. You slowly began to unstick yourself from him, Tony turning to you to see the cause, eyebrows raising ever so slightly, so innocent and intuitive to you.
"I'm gonna use the bathroom,"
Tony just flashed his sweet smile in acknowledgement and placed a quick kiss to your cheek before you stood up. It was simple, the same as he always acted because it was normal. normalcy with him again after what felt like an eternity and this is still what you wanted.
You didn't look back at him or anyone or anything and walked straight upstairs. You could've just stayed in there for a few minutes, you didn't have to do this. You didn't, but you wanted it. So, once you got in there you locked the door, twisting the handle just to be sure nobody could come in. Grabbing a loose blade from under the sink because you could never bother to put them in a box or something. Too easy to be thrown out and lose it all.
You don't bother to sit on the floor or do anything because "using the bathroom" only should take a few minutes and you can't let yourself get comfortable enough to lose track of time. You take it in your dominant hand, and angle the sharp corner as you pull it back against your flesh. Tearing. It was shallow, less horrific then you wanted needed it to be. Blood just barely started to bead at the edges of the cut, so you prod at it in hopes of bleeding more.
You know you don't have long before someone needs to piss or comes looking for you, so you just let go. Keep cutting over and over, with more pressure and less care than the first time. You want to bleed as much as you can, feel it. The immediate sting of the wounds is addicting. Sickly, but what addictions are healthy? You prod more at the skin, smearing the dark red blood with the blade and also your fingers. You bleed a pretty red, but the way you get it is ugly.
You know you gotta get out now, it's for sure been too long. Need to go grab a jacket from yours and Tony's room, you can't just go back with still-bleeding cuts on your arm because someone's bound to notice. But, one more can't hurt. You do a weird angle where your wrist is facing your chest, doing a weird thing to your skin that insures the cut will be worse. And, you did a quick slash, which was deeper than the rest. The kind that are in-between needing stitches and healing by itself. A rush of panic hits you, but it's just what you want.
You can't really clean up now.
"Don't let them see you like this, Wash your face and hide your wrist."
so, you put the blade away and cling your wrist to your body just in case someone is outside waiting, but somehow there isn't. You speed walk (not a far walk) to your room, where the door is already halfway open. Once you start to push the door open you don't bother to hide your wrist,plus your blood is definitely staining your clothes now.
oh fuck.
it was bound to happen, Tony was here already. He was grabbing his empty cup off the nightstand, when he heard someone which he assumed to be you, and immediately froze. You froze too. You felt even more nauseous now, like you could sob or die. It was so, so, horrifically obvious now. You could hear his breathing pick up a bit, shaky. He was clearly terrified, or maybe disgusted, or mad, or everything. After just staring in silence, he hurried over to you before taking your arm to look at it.
"Honey what did you do? What- you said you were just going to the.." The shakiness in voice made you feel even worse. He looked more upset than you.
"Please it's fine, okay? Let it go- I-i'll clean up.. Go downstairs Tony-" Maybe you were getting there, it felt hard to speak when your vision was quickly getting blurry with tears that not even looking up could take back.
"No! No im not going downstairs, you can't.. This is bad, it's bad.. I can't leave you after this.."
You can't tell if he's too scared to leave you because he doesn't know what will happen to you or he just can't trust you in the way that a parent who can't trust a child who sneaks out and steals.
"Please... I gotta help younow."
He goes over to another part of the room, looking for the little diy first aid kit you kept instead of the real thing. They couldn't be actually deep, they just bled a lot. But it was clear that you scared the shit out of Tony (Reasonably). He basically tore through things until he found it, tossing it on the bed without care before quickly getting you to sit down.
"Sitsitsit- Please, oh.. Why didn't you talk t'me?- you could've, I wouldve... Its me me, isnt it?"
And that's when you finally started sobbing, shaking worse than you were before. "No, what? It's not you, s-snever been you.. m'sorrymsosorry," And it carried on into frantic apologies to Tony for what you did. Not really to yourself, but to him. You never meant to hurt him aswell, it could never be his fault.
Through this he worked quickly trying to get bandages on you to still what was still bleeding, but it was a little hard when his hands couldn't stay still. Not his fault. He was in shock, for sure. He's cleaned your cuts before, seen all of your scars, but it's never felt like this. You were supposed to be better.
When he's done, he just pushes the trash and other supplies out of the way without a care for neatness before properly holding you. You basically just sob into his chest for what feels like forever, but if forever involves him being here for you when you're this low maybe it isn't horrible. He grips you like if he lets go something bad will happen, for him and your' comfort. Petting you, sweet reassurances that sound like he's speaking to you for the last time and he's terrified yet needs to keep talking while he can. It's this for a long while until you're too exhausted to keep crying. He still holds you afterwards, shifting positions a little.
His phone must have been in his pocket, as he takes it out with one hand while trying to not shatter the fragile glass that you are. It's weird to think of yourself as something dainty or 'fragile' but really, if you acknowledge what just happened at all, you'll shatter. He wraps his arm around you again, texting someone awkwardly with one hand. You hope he hasn't told anyone the real reason why he hasn't been out In half an hour or so when he said he was going upstairs to grab his cup.
But he doesn't, shooting a text to Jaime about how some stuff came up and he probably won't be down for a while, just text him if people are getting too rowdy or whatever. Though if people were, he wouldn't be leaving you even if his personal property depended on it. Silence filled the room, well silence in words, because you were still sniffling and taking shaky breaths, same as Tony.
"do'ya still want a jacket?"
".. if it's yours."
Your voices were both a bit hoarse, but now you weren't making fun of each other for it. It brought the slightest smile to him, or what looked like one when you said you wanted his specifically. Tony didn't move right away, feeling like the worst boyfriend ever for leaving you for even a second (afterleavingformonths) even if you're okay with it. Not really, but he's not far. But it's kinda good to be far, this room is the farthest from the downstairs, the action. Distant, it wasn't about tony, this was just the hangout spot. Not spotlight.
He eventually slides you from his grip, getting up and rummaging through your shared mess of a closet. His eyes landed on a specific black jacket Tony used to wear a ton but doesn't frequently anymore, one that was drowned in his scent. He didn't toss it like usual, instead handing it to you a lot more carefully. He was always gentle with you, but now was so different. He guided the sleeved over your arms, his own breath getting caught when you whined as the fabric ghosted over the bandages.
"you sure it's okay? doesn't hurt, right?
"Its okay, thank you,"
"mhm, I love you."
"i love you too. '.... msorry for this."
He didn't say anything, but went back to running his fingers through your clearly unwashed hair. That was another thing for another day. Being with you was his biggest priority right now, trying to have you feel as okay as you can when okay seems like a myth.
"don't do that to me again. please. talk to me. don't jus' say you'll stop to make me happy or have me stop worrying. I always will."
and this time you're not saying anything. After this, making a false promise would really be a stake straight through his heart. You need to get better, cutting yourself up like that solved nothing and you knew it. You have what you need, but you so easily gave into your wants.
He doesn't really push much more tonight for the why, how, and what. You wouldn't respond even if he asked, so it's easier that he doesn't and you are not ignoring him. It's hard to face, it makes sense. Being convicted after that. But maybe that's what you need.
At some other point Tony gets up from the bed and locks the door, just to make sure nobody comes up here. He probably should care more about what his friends are doing at his house, but it's gotta be late enough for them to either crash out or leave. It's not painfully loud or suspiciously quiet, so he stays up here with you. It's different, without any music on or anything going on that could be a distraction, just you guys.
Maybe it needed to be that way, for now.
You think you'll keep him.
"Just like candy you'll go down."
"Just like candy you'll go down."
"Just like candy you'll go down."
so yea tony lovers can all 18 of you accept this as an offering and initiate me into your group . thanks
How would you guys feel about a new fic .. ptv maybe... maybe tony because I'm really obsessed with him now... maybe angst because I'm tired of only writing smut .... maybe idk yet but I have self indulgent ideas to share .... A bit of yaoi maybe who knows ....... haha what are we feeling
OiuyfuygHHHHH PLEAS EPPWALS PLWAS EPLWASW PLWASEE EONE XHANCE. ONE LITERLRYA ONE CHANCE PLEASE JOE PLEASE HONE ONE CHANCE OLEKASUUSEEEEEE GHGGHGGHGGGGHGH
