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[challahenthusiast]

I have a headcannon that due to Bruce's upbringing under Alfred British ways, and then going on his trip around the world learning to be The Batman™ he only does this in metric units. This man does not understand the imperial system at all. whenever he is doing some detective work or working on cases and he gets the information, he mentally has to convert them to metric to understand it.

[magnetostits-deactivated2026031]

antisemitic comic book fans are so funny to me like none of your favs would exist if it weren’t for jewish people

[maskofredacted]

Batman AU where the batfam is an extension of Gotham’s will so they can’t leave the city without taking a piece of it with them

Bruce, ever practical, has a batarang made from a steel piece off the bat signal (not that he’d be able to throw it but it’s a backup nonetheless)

Dick, Jay, and Tim have made it Robin tradition to carry pebbles in their pockets (the justice league has come to associate the soft jingling of rocks with the arrival of the Dark Knight)

Steph finds pretty rocks and quartz to crack open and share with Cassandra- and they cycle through their newest finds (cass does keep a shiny piece of obsidian in her utility belt, it was the first one Steph gave her)

Duke keeps a corner from a road sign in his pouch, the reflective yellow paint matches his theme- (what better representation of the city than perpetual construction)

Damian reverently carries a piece of deep green sea glass from the harbor. The color reminds him of his mother, and he finds the beauty fitting. (The irony that the only way for him to leave his new home is an echo of the reason he’s there in the first place is not lost on him.)

[maskofredacted]

I have more thoughts on this- also thank you to everyone who’s liked and reblogged ily <3

The item they take doesn’t exactly have to have sentimental value- it can be anything random

Early on in his time of knowing the Batman, Clark was perplexed. The man(?) moved like a ghost, melting into shadows or plain disappearing as of on a whim. As he paid more attention, however, there was one thing he noticed as (seemingly) mundane from the Bat. He liked to collect rocks. Every time Clark had come to get Batman for league reasons that took the man (he’s still not completely sure) out of his dwelling, he’d take a few moments to skate a hand across the ground-gentle and searching- until he came up with a rock he deemed just right before nodding and following Clark without a word.

Clark never said anything, too afraid to make Batman hide more of himself after being noticed.(as he was known to do)

Also for more of my thoughts on how it works when losing a tethered item:

It’s not dangerous or lethal to lose an item while outside of Gotham, they’d basically just lose corporeal form and reshape back in the city. Like a spawn point I guess LMAO

This opens up an array of potential shenanigans

The kids do treat it pretty seriously, especially around Bruce or on missions- but after? When they’re on their way back anyway? Not a chance.

Their favorite after outing activity is a modified game of capture the flag, or maybe it’s more similar to keep away? Everyone limits themselves to one tethered item and stands at various edges around one rooftop. The goal is to be the last one sent back to the Batcave involuntarily. Bruce thinks it’s stupid, but he too has been caught unawares. (Thanks, Tim)

Tim dropping his tether after being faced with any uncomfortable situation:

[neil-gaiman]

i'm half jewish and currently with the non jewish part of my family. they all manage to br so antisemitic that they spout nazi propaganda. could you just reassure me that jewish people aren't dirty, or bad, or pigs or whatever else? sorry, im having a tough time

thank you for all you do :)

I can assure you that the Jewish side of your family aren't any of those things. I can't say the same for the antisemitic side, though.

[natequarter]

what's the best type of bread?

bagel

baguette

ciabatta

tortilla

naan bread

pita bread

wholemeal bread

bread rolls

challah

something else not mentioned here

Voting ended onApr 3, 2023

[magnetothemagnificent]

[id in alt text]

[coolgirl]

(Bruce Wayne voice) I’m Bruce Wayne, from Gotham City, I’m participating in Nailed It! because for years I’ve tried to learn how to bake to impress my father [cuts to old pic of baby Bruce trying to whisk in a bowl, wearing a crooked chef hat, Alfred trying to help him with a really loving look on his face], and- (someone in the background yells LIAR!!) (Bruce covers his face, the background music stops) fine I lost a bet to one of my kids and they thought it would be hilarious for me to participate because I’m terrible in the kitchen [cuts to picture of grown Bruce with a pan on fire, looking absolutely frantic, sad trombone sound] [the people behind the camera laugh]

[coolgirl]

First challenge is recreating justice league cake pops, the camera zooms into Bruce who has the biggest forced smile ever on his face as he holds a cute green lantern pop.

Bruce: nailed it!

Nicole: (cackling as the camera zooms into the ugliest cake pop her eyes have ever laid on) WHAT IS THAT!

Bruce, as the camera pans into the details of the mess of a pop: personally I think it’s an accurate depiction of green lantern

[coolgirl]

The cake challenge is making a giant cake with ALL the known batvigilantes in Gotham.

As bruce whisks in a bowl midway the process, if you edit the clip to make it loud enough you could hear him muttering under his breath why the fuck did I adopt so many kids

Nicole: and I genuinely don’t know what mr wayne is doing over there (cackle) (camera cuts to Bruce frantically counting the figures before adding them to the final cake as he knows if he forgets any of them they would never let him live it down)

Nicole: oh I love the purple you chose for spoiler’s Cape! / Bruce: it’s actually eggplant but thank you nic!

Jacques: as….. lo…vely as this cake looks.. I can’t help but notice.. you forgot to add batman to it

Bruce: (huge bleep)

[brawltogethernow]

Bruce: [makes a paper towel cowl and puts it over his face] Bruce: [stands behind his cake and sort of looms there] Bruce, as foppishly as possible: I’ll be being Batman. [doing the growly voice really badly] I’m Batman. Voices behind the camera: [all laugh]

Paper Towel Batman goes viral in gif form.

(Also Bruce, cutting out Nightwing’s emblem in fondant: I want the vigilantes of Gotham to know that I am making these in a manner designed to be efficient, and not in order of how much I love them. Host: That’s…nice?)

[elf-kid2]

#DCU#camera guy 1: how does he know what every suit design looks like? i haven’t seen him pull one reference. camera guy 2: [shrugs]

[blbearslove]

[madeline-kahn]

Music in Film: Scooby-Doo (2002) dir. Raja Gosnell 

[gothamguts-moved83747365]

top toxic trait of batman is actually making 100-slide powerpoints for things that could have been an email and sending emails for things that should really said in-person/elaborated on

[gothamguts-moved83747365]

From: [email protected] To: everyone

World ending. Again. Hope you’ve all been attending interdimensional diplomacy 101.

B. Sent from the Watchtower dishwasher

[gothamguts-moved83747365]

batman locks the justice league in a conference room to present: “Causation or Correlation: Apocalypses of This Year And Every Time One Of You Idiots Have Quipped, “Could Be Worse!”” he has a laser pointer that he points directly into hal’s eyes no less than 11 times

[elmflowers-art]

ur tags paint such a vivid image.

[broosepayne]

Defeated

Continued under cut

Previous

[ruckuscauser]

I learned today that Scoobert Doo was designed to violate every Great Dane breed standard and I love that

[acti-veg]

https://bookshop.org/

[caniscaballus]

They are making audio and digital books available now too!!

[cardenvondraken]

I found a hardback printing of the Voynich Manuscript on here. This place fucking rocks.

[tengubride-deactivated20241201]

Hey I’m so excited to see this on my dash! I work at an independent bookstore in NY and we were hit insanely hard by the pandemic, like so many other indie bookstores across the country. Bookshop has literally been helping us to keep the lights on. You using stores’ affiliate links to bookshop (you can support my store here) or just browsing it on your own directly impacts our ability to remain in business. Overall Bookshop has raised over 10 million dollars for independent bookstores across America. This site really works!

If you want to buy books from the comfort of your own home without supporting Amazon, please please consider using Bookshop! We are all so thankful for your support!

[afloweroutofstone]

[candyredterezii]

[maxdowt]

Tea party

[purplepokili]

fae court

[catrinecat]

The council to decide your fate

[jackhawksmoor]

So like, Martian Manhunter is a telepath and he’s said several times in Justice League comics that he doesn’t like getting into Batman’s head because it’s really unpleasant in there, and I always kind of rolled my eyes because at the time it was said, Batman was in his toxic masculinity/I’m so edgy stage. I thought it was a cheap way of going “oooh look he’s so grim and dark and cool even telepaths can’t handle him”

But taken with the modern “Batman has PTSD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” this suddenly makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE because if there is a way to get a telepath to go “um no thank you” to some mental shenanigans it would be someone with constant obsessive intrusive thought spirals and massive trauma.

Like Martian Manhunter hooking up a mental link between Justice League members trying to screen out how Batman’s brain is screaming at him for the entire 12 hour mission about how Nightwing hasn’t stopped by the cave to switch out his costume for the new improved kevlar weave so he has definitely already been killed by a rocket launcher and oh god what is Batman going to say at the funeral

so after the mission is over Martian Manhunter has like, a telepathic hangover and has to call Dick up on his Justice League reserve communicator going “I swear to god, if you don’t get your ass to Gotham to switch out your suit I will come down there, phase into your body and WALK YOU THERE MYSELF. Which incidentally, IS ALSO SOMETHING BATMAN WORRIES ABOUT” and then has to crawl into bed for 3 days 

[eternally--mortal]

So Percy is definitely in like All the government databases.

I like to think the real reason that he and Sally faced like zero legal consequences for anything in TLT (Gabe, the Arch)—or, frankly, from any of Percy’s school mishaps and destruction of property—is that Poseidon managed to register Sally and Percy under some sort of confusing diplomatic immunity.

I mean, Poseidon is the literal king of all the oceans. I feel like his family should get a little diplomatic immunity. He’s been on-board with making both of them immortal. Legal protection just seems to fit that vibe.

I can imagine Percy’s file showing up during The Arch incident and some agent being like

Agent J: Wait a minute. Prosecuting this kid might get messy.

Agent S: What? He just committed an act of terrorism, Bill.

Agent J: Yeah, but here he’s listed as qualifying for— what is this? diplomatic immunity? This is crazy. Do you know who his dad is?

Agent S: No. Why?

Agent J: Neither do I. I can’t find it in the paperwork.

Honestly the real reason they’re never prosecuted has less to do with the status and more to do with the fact that the paperwork is So Confusing. Basically everything is redacted by the Mist and no one can figure out where any of the paperwork came from. —Teams of people getting headaches from reading over the paper trail for too long and experiencing bouts of temporary amnesia where they can’t remember what they were looking at and why —Agents determined to stay late at work only to get home and realize that they’ve left the office and can’t remember looking over the files

There’s a whole office of agents and a legal team that have dedicated themselves to working their way around the problem so that something like this Never Happens Again with their paperwork. They’ll draw straws to see who gets to pour over the paperwork today. They try taking notes but they all turn out as gibberish and foreign letters. They have a tally keeping track of how many times Steve drives home during lunch or Nancy ends up with a migraine or Emmy finds herself napping on the office couch, or how many legal documents Greg has accidentally shredded right after he filled them out.

Their office has garnered so much attention that it’s become a government-funded psych experiment. The national defense office wants to get its hands on whatever crazy voodoo they’re using to cover up the Jackson history.

There’s also a betting pool going on about what makes this kid so important and who wants to keep him off the radar.

Let’s not even start on the foreign agencies that get involved after the Giant War.

They all learned pretty quickly that technology wasn’t going to help them. Any footage they get of Percy Jackson winds up scrambled and confusing. So the best solution is resorting back to grass-root methods:

Field agents.

Sadie: Guys, I think we’re being followed.

Percy: *grabbing for his pocket* What?

Annabeth: Oh, I see what you’re looking it. No it’s alright. Weapon down, Percy. It’s the NSA.

Percy: Todd? *his eyes scan the crowd*

Annabeth: Yeah

Percy: *waves at a man in a baseball cap who freezes and ducks behind a kiosk in the mall*

Percy: It’s ok. It’s just Todd.

Sadie: Ok. Hold up. You have an NSA agent?

Sadie: Don’t they usually use phones or something?

Annabeth: Percy doesn’t have a phone

Percy: Too much bad demigod juju

Percy: I thought Todd was FBI

Annabeth: No, Seaweed Brain. FBI checks in on alternating Thursdays

Percy: Right

Annabeth: *to Sadie* FBI are the worst, honestly. I feel like we spend all day saving their asses.

Percy: Remember Vince? And the corn dog incident?

Sadie: I mean that doesn’t sound too bad.

Annabeth: There were empousai. Venom, right in the corn dogs. I’ve never seen a mortal drop that fast.

Percy: Or Elise and the subway scramble

Annabeth: That mishap with Randy on the 58th floor

Percy: *Looking back at Todd* You know, I miss Jamie.

Annabeth: Yeah, Jamie was nice.

Sadie: What happened to Jamie?

Annabeth: Oh, no. Nothing like that. They took her off the case.

Percy: She was too friendly.

Annabeth: She always waved back.

Sadie: . . . Right. And why are they following you again?

Percy: Annabeth has a theory.

Annabeth: We think it has something to do with Percy’s stint as a domestic terrorist.

Sadie: A wat now?

Percy: I blew up an arch.

[caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo]

I’m obsessed with this

[manicmartyr-deactivated20250904]

can't believe people think harry potter could beat percy jackson in a fight when harry potter is literally british and percy is from new york

[caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo]

No disrespect to Harry bc I love him, but the bitch used a disarming spell on the dude who murdered his parents while Percy has tried to kill a literal god.

[overdramaticrobins]

its just. SO funny to me that zantanna went to constantine to either kill him or turn him into a vampire and he just. bitched to her about other stuff instead. its literally like

zatanna: im GONNA make him sooooo much worse <3

constantine: you literally cant make me any worse <3 have some wine though