Catrine

He/She/Him/Her Big Mama Of Suck - Beowulf Certified Asshole “Insert inspirational yet quirky quote here” Catrine is the name, making people regret knowing me is my game Gamer Girl Calamari Bitch

[catrinecat]

How the fuck does one pin a post

[kikimora-apologist]

The little three dots at the top right

[catrinecat]

No you get consent first then you grab it by the wrists and everything after that is down hill

[pillowspace]

Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards

[wearemercs]

The Nearsighted Knight (translated 1, 2) by rui2simu (original 1, 2)

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes

[catrinecat]

“Free use? Like the WiFi? Having sex? Umm, no thanks? Can I have the WiFi password?”

[homunculus-argument]

If you're writing a setting that's "modern fantasy", in the sense that it's like you took one of those Medieval Fantasy worlds and then society progressed to the point where it's the 2020s, and you want to throw in a fantasy conterpart culture that's basically Europe, you're 100% allowed to just make the places a janky mashup of the medieval and modern era. That's legit just what Europe looks like. You'll see a fucking castle on one side of the street, a glass panel skyscraper in the other side, and walking in the middle is a dude who looks like a fucking viking, talking on a smartphone, with a tattoo of the stone age symbol of the Spiral Adder of the Underworld tattooed on one shoulder and Hatsune Miku on the other.

My therapist's office is located on a street that was built in the 1300s and Google Maps and a modern bicycle are fucking powerless against the cobblestone chaos that was built to be manageable on foot and horse carriage. Last summer one of the restaurants there caught fire, but the fire didn't spread very far, partially because of the building regulations that were set in place the last time the city burned in 1760. There's just a thin veneer modern tech on top of 1800s stuff clumsily constructed on top of medieval stuff that's built on the foundations of something earlier and the more you look the more you realise that if you looked at all of it for long enough, it's just turtles all the way down.

And sometimes you see a guy walking down the street that you're pretty sure is straight-up 50% neanderthal and the other half is a Danish fur trader from 1500s who found a wife in a foreign port town and stayed.

[softbrah]

“online fandom bestie that you once shared intense intimacies with but don’t really talk to anymore simply bc we drifted into new blorbo obsessions” is such a specific type of relationship that has to be impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it

[fox-bright]

do not taste plants if you don't know what they are

do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet

hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro

[fox-bright]

And today, we have this winner:

I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...

In comments, they continue:

and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:

So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!

[fox-bright]

YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

[lastoneout]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[birds-in-posts]

Osprey (Pandion haliaetus)

Red-winged blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus)

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Photographer Snaps Bird Catching a Ride on Bigger Bird's Stick

Wildlife Jocelyn Anderson captured a one-in-a-million photo of a bird hitching a ride on a bigger bird's stick.

The article contains a link to her photography shop, btw.

[slipping-into-madness]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

[tredlocity]

[tainbocuailnge]

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

[tainbocuailnge]

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

[nudityandnerdery]

This seems like a good post to include this link on:

Your Cookware Got Worse On Purpose

One buyout firm quietly collected Pyrex, Corelle, Instant Pot, and Oneida. Farberware is a name on a 200-year lease. And the pans still wort

Talking about popular kitchenware companies undergoing enshittification, and gives you a list of brands towards the end that are more reliable.

[catrinecat]

The weirdest thought I can remember from being a teen was “man, I should buy a really good blender when I move out” like bro what are thinking you should’ve been thinking of girls and becoming a girl.

[gatheringbones]

tbh a lot of my advice boils down to “hey you know that terrible horrible looming thing you’re doing your best to avoid and distract and escape as much as possible but no matter what you do it just keeps looming and looming and ruining your life”

“just, fuckign, run straight at it screaming.”

[quasarkisses]

i needed this as a background

[spectrexviiii]

[catrinecat]

This could become a Dr. Chuck Tingle book. All that first part and then “Just Fuck It”.

[edgebug]

"I'm anti-kink" .. what? like... all of them?

[edgebug]

I HATE it when girls think other girls wearing sock garters is sexy. if you have a foot fetish DIE. calling your bf a good+special boy in the bedroom is WRONG. <- this is how you sound

[edgebug]

no but seriously antikink ppl are sooo weird. "abuse can take place during kink activity therefore I'm against kink". boy howdy do I have news for you about how abuse can take place during absolutely any activity at all!

[unpeeled-human]

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

[library-bat-girl-deactivated202]

You'd think "oh, well they're rich dipshits with no training who pulled a Stockton Rush, IE: did something everyone told them not to and then died" but nope, 90% of cave diving stories are like "Johnny Wetsuit had 5000 hours diving experience, a doctorate in Cave Diveology from the most prestigious university in the world, was trained to swim by literal navy seals, was part dolphin and had the power of echo-location, God himself contacted him to let him know the conditions in Drowning Idiot Cave were going to be perfectly safe for cave diving, so he went Cave Diving, made one tiny mistake, and then he got stuck and drowned to death."

[liiionhearted]

ok but there’s a reason cave diving signs go so hard

[beardedmrbean]

My brother used to do SCUBA stuff and apparently there's spots in places like Lake Tahoe where there's just bodies that haven't been recovered because the people that could go and get them know better than to go diving in the parts of the lake where the bodies are.

[mama-germany]

I feel like the ‘Satan’s Asshole Cave’ meme is a bit of a misnomer though because half of these places are named. Nutty Putty. Darby Canyon. Wookey Hole.

It’s more like; Loopty Doopty Cavern, where 18 out of 25 known explorers had to have their bodies dragged out over excruciating 28 hour long recovery missions

[valtsv]

i mean yeah it's cool that your city is built in the shadow of the bones of a fallen leviathan from ages past but does anybody want to talk about how prohibitively expensive and increasingly gentrified the housing situation in the bones of the fallen leviathan is

[valtsv]

it does serve as a neat (if a little on the nose) visual metaphor for the parasitic greed of landlords though i'll give you that

[woosh-floosh-art]

We need to bring Kurimanju to America, I think he would love our cuisine