Im A Rootin' Tootin' Cowboi Baby

Yo, I'm Matt / 26/ any/all / bi af / chaotic neutral. I’m an Astarion simp now and I am not sorry. On the inside I'm really a dumbass Tiefling Barbarian man named cHaoS.

[whollysensei]

the rat-catcher of Hamelin

[evilsanlang]

it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit

[evilsanlang]

"taylor swift is a lesbian" check your house for mold

"I can fuck the heterosexuality out of sabrina carpenter" questionable taste, but much more respectable

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

[duzemine]

This is gonna get flagged I’m sure but you’re welcome, it’s Astarion doing push-ups

[punksrhea]

ASUKA WWE RAW, June 16th, 2025

[mousenemy]

the left testicle is for logic and forward thinking and the right testicle is for creativity and art

[machobusta]

[slowspinningredemption]

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

[valtsv]

snapping my homies out of being corrupted by the curse by firmly gripping their shoulders and telling them to "get real"

[valtsv]

that didn't work. okay. time for plan b *gets down on my knees and starts tying my hair back*

[fucking-what]

[bigasspants]

pope francis it is your moral obligation to make the entire ocean holy water. the devil cannot be allowed to surf

[bigasspants]

pope leo it is your moral obligation to make the entire ocean holy water. the devil cannot be allowed to surf

[moxleyrollins]

"I advise you to hold your titles really tightly. Because absolutely no one is safe from Mami... in the Bank."

MONDAY NIGHT RAW | 05.26.25

[tentacleteapot]

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

[charl0ttan]

thats not how they told it

[theconcealedweapon]

[theconcealedweapon]

[enki2]

[serenityfails]

fantasizing every day about quitting my job and doing absolutely nothing

[serenityfails]

this is reductive what i actually fantasize about doing is making art. but just not doing it for money. that is not "nothing". the capitalism got in my brain

[victusinveritas]

[theconcealedweapon]