Patch

an enby disaster, in the flesh | they/them | gender fluid non-binary | chaos goblin | full of great jokes and hilarious puns | let's say 18+ because I'll probably forget and reblog something and don't wanna be That Tumblr Person

[chaotic-trash-goblin]

Terf, cop, nazi, racist, transphobe, homophobe, or another exciting flavour of hateful bigot? Somehow find your way to my profile? You're in luck!

Now that you're here, I can tell you a secret.

You're a waste of oxygen and would be better served as worm food. 💜

[shutyourmoustache]

Someone on Amtrak’s social media team deserves a raise like N O W. 😂

[asparrowdraws]

Gaming Dice.

I learned a lot about edges and light and color relationships here.

[greywolfheirs]

PAINTING!!! THIS IS A PAINTING

[sensoryscorpio]

CHAT THIS IS A PAINTING!!!

[almaignismare]

I went over this post twice before realising. I was like "oh it's just set up like a still life painting, right". NO IT'S FUCKING NOT!

[neckkiss]

Unknown Source.

[motherpictheverybestgirl]

I can 100% fucking relate to this shit. 🥺

[thesassycat]

You can only reblog this today.

[askjennaflorida]

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

[onemasc4all]

In case anyone was confused...

[wontonsoupinthemorning-deactiva]

message to all bitches

please survive

[chaotic-trash-goblin]

I dunno about y'all, but my brain can be really fuckin poopy sometimes. And lately, it's been pretty bad; despite *knowing* that people have lives and their own stuff going on, it's been doing this stupid thing of insisting that people don't want to actually be around me. That if I want to talk to people, *I* have to make the first move for any given conversation to happen.

I know where some of this has come from (looking at you, gaslighting workplace), but it's reached its way into the most stupid places? My therapist didn't respond to an email promptly so my brain was like "you're being ignored"???

It's just hard when it feels like I bend myself into knots in order to make and maintain friendships, and then if I don't open a conversation with someone it just,,, never happens? feelsbadfam.

(I don't expect this to go anywhere, I just wanted to vent and I don't think any of my IRL peeps know about here lol)

(also if you're seeing this please know you're loved and worthy of attention, care and compassion)

(and if you want company, you have my complete permission to inbox me. I don't bite unless you ask nicely)

[chaotic-trash-goblin]

Addendum: I think what it boils down to is that feeling of feeling desirable. Worth someone's time. Wanting to be wanted.

I wanna know what it's like to be crushed on, to have someone flirt with me and tell me that I'm desirable to them, and in a way that's more than just "pity for a friend" way yk?

I wanna know that someone wants to talk to me, that they enjoy my company and being around me.

I wanna know that I'm not just burdening people.

[parttimepunner]

Imo you’re not wrong that you usually have to make the first move to start conversations, but the reason for that is people are inherently doing their own thing / keeping to themselves in my experience with my North American white person perspective. Only reason I bring up that last bit is that culture and identity do play a role in this, whole essays out there but it’s important to remember generally imho.

Another thing to consider is when your brain is going “you’re being ignored,” what it’s really doing is signaling your need for comfort and human connection. This whole ‘burdening,’ people thinking needs to be reframed. Everyone takes up space, time, energy, emotion. You’re allowed to have a shoulder to cry on, to have a trusted friend to rely on. If you think you are a ‘burden’ to a friend then maybe that friend doesn’t have the capacity to be a close friend to you where you can have that deep connection. It’s okay to have those friends too, but maybe try looking elsewhere for deeper friendships.

Sorry I’m really going on a tangent and Idk if any of this was helpful or applicable. My heart goes out to you.

[chaotic-trash-goblin]

Thank you @parttimepunner, that is legitimately such a useful and valuable perspective 💜 I think you're absolutely right; there are people around me I can lean on, it's just so easy, within that void of depression, to only see what is (or feels like it is) missing.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, and for seeing me 💜

[chaotic-trash-goblin]

I dunno about y'all, but my brain can be really fuckin poopy sometimes. And lately, it's been pretty bad; despite *knowing* that people have lives and their own stuff going on, it's been doing this stupid thing of insisting that people don't want to actually be around me. That if I want to talk to people, *I* have to make the first move for any given conversation to happen.

I know where some of this has come from (looking at you, gaslighting workplace), but it's reached its way into the most stupid places? My therapist didn't respond to an email promptly so my brain was like "you're being ignored"???

It's just hard when it feels like I bend myself into knots in order to make and maintain friendships, and then if I don't open a conversation with someone it just,,, never happens? feelsbadfam.

(I don't expect this to go anywhere, I just wanted to vent and I don't think any of my IRL peeps know about here lol)

(also if you're seeing this please know you're loved and worthy of attention, care and compassion)

(and if you want company, you have my complete permission to inbox me. I don't bite unless you ask nicely)

[chaotic-trash-goblin]

Addendum: I think what it boils down to is that feeling of feeling desirable. Worth someone's time. Wanting to be wanted.

I wanna know what it's like to be crushed on, to have someone flirt with me and tell me that I'm desirable to them, and in a way that's more than just "pity for a friend" way yk?

I wanna know that someone wants to talk to me, that they enjoy my company and being around me.

I wanna know that I'm not just burdening people.

[chaotic-trash-goblin]

I dunno about y'all, but my brain can be really fuckin poopy sometimes. And lately, it's been pretty bad; despite *knowing* that people have lives and their own stuff going on, it's been doing this stupid thing of insisting that people don't want to actually be around me. That if I want to talk to people, *I* have to make the first move for any given conversation to happen.

I know where some of this has come from (looking at you, gaslighting workplace), but it's reached its way into the most stupid places? My therapist didn't respond to an email promptly so my brain was like "you're being ignored"???

It's just hard when it feels like I bend myself into knots in order to make and maintain friendships, and then if I don't open a conversation with someone it just,,, never happens? feelsbadfam.

(I don't expect this to go anywhere, I just wanted to vent and I don't think any of my IRL peeps know about here lol)

(also if you're seeing this please know you're loved and worthy of attention, care and compassion)

(and if you want company, you have my complete permission to inbox me. I don't bite unless you ask nicely)

[straycatj]

おいもさんで　あそびまちて　ごめんでち…

Kofu am sorry for playing with a potato...

[superlazernovaa]

Blegh curse of desperately wanting reassurance but feeling too selfish to ask for it

[idontlikedicktionaries]

REBLOG IF ITS OKAY TO TALK TO YOU.

Please.

[wildergrrl-deactivated20250110]

unfortunately i bear the curse of wanting to fuck a pretty girl senseless while also wanting to be fucked senseless

[allie-leth]

Switch life. ❤️

[soulren]

"I can fix him" "I can make him worse" fuck if I know what I'm doing to him but he's barking now

[neckstime-deactivated20140216]

Reblog if you'll PUBLICLY answer anything in your ask right now.

[chisel-fitness]

Im game

[depsidase]