you are not for everyone

he said "you're not the girl of my dreams" i said "i'm more real"

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dailyjackiechan]

cashiers don’t actually care what you buy you could buy a fork a toaster and a bath plug and i wouldnt notice all i’m thinking abt is “in five min it will be one hour until two hours before i can go home”

[thebootydiaries]

my mom: *makes me wash 1 more dish than my sister* me: i am the backbone of this family u are nothing without me. When I Die. Then U Will Realize

[yungflowergirl]

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

[bootykage-deactivated20150331]

this a lie

[bootykage-deactivated20150331]

im literally dating this girl this a lie

[bootykage-deactivated20150331]

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

[teuer]

ok hear me out guys

[joner]

I’m listening

[teuer]

okay listen closely

[joner]

ok ready

[teuer]

look me boots

[snaacks-deactivated20200913]

when you’re eating salad and the baby at the table next to you starts screaming 

[thursday]

[beatngu]

[queenshannel-blog]

[visualsupplyco]

[macaulay--sulkin]

[stonecoldliuh]

[ultracrispytaco-deactivated2015]

did you get the ketchup

[brunovona]

[lovehigher]

at ME TOO

[ngiii3-deactivated20181124]

Fuk st Patrick’s day

[3mcgriddles-deactivated20151029]

fuk u that’s my momma bday

[ngiii3-deactivated20181124]

I said fucc the holiday.. Tell mom I said happy early bday

[3mcgriddles-deactivated20151029]

ight

[gamarai-archive-deactivated2020]

I just wanted to use the microwave

[raindrops-on-radishes]

Put it back quietly, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and practice your surprised face.

[gamarai-archive-deactivated2020]

Put what back

[slajm]

crunch crunch munch munch