Everything Unsaid

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

[charlesvstheworld]

[charlesvstheworld]

Charles Kambu

A little bit of everything here and there

[charlesvstheworld]

You can break my heart in two, but when it heals it beats for you. I wanna hold you when I’m not supposed to, when I’m laying close to someone else. You’re stuck in my head and I can’t get you out of it. If I could do it all again I know I’d go back to you.

[charlesvstheworld]

New year same old life

Can’t believe I still make it to another year in life. Thought I wouldn’t make it but here I am, surviving an unhappy life I’m living. If you asked me “why is it an unhappy life?” I couldn’t give you the answer for that kind of question. Is it because I’m expecting too much or because I want an easy life... I don’t know. Or maybe cause I don’t have a good relationship with God. I have so many desires in life but can’t afford them all.

When I look on the bright side I see that I have everything. I have the job, I have people who care about me, I have both parents who pray for me in their every prayer. But why am I unhappy. I’ve tried to live on the bright side but seems like my life is so dark it can’t even light up my world. Need more lights but I couldn’t find more.

I just wish I’ll find more lights to help brighten my world a bit. I just wish this year I’ll be more comfortable living my life. I just want to be happy but I don’t know how.

[charlesvstheworld]

Amolongo! #anakgunung #papuaindonesia (at Tembagapura, Papua, Indonesia)

[charlesvstheworld]

Add me on Snapchat! Username: charleskambu

[charlesvstheworld]

People are the toxic. To the nature and their own kind.

[charlesvstheworld]

Wrong thoughts

When I thought I finally found happiness, it turned out to be more struggles. I thought I finally found the right people who possibly could be my best friends but apparently I have always been wrong in every thought I have. I wonder what is wrong with my brain why does it always giving me hopes that something good could finally happen at last. Seems to me that people are the problems, people are the reason I'm unhappy, I know I can't blame everything on people. I have tried so many ways to be liked. Being myself and not being myself still not working either way. Charles

[dailydccu]

Ezra Miller at the European Premiere of ‘Suicide Squad’

[charlesvstheworld]

❤💙💚💛💜💓💕💖💗💘💝💞💟

[charlesvstheworld]

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Highly recommended!!!

[charlesvstheworld]

I was loved

“I am laying next   my lover. He is hugging me  ght. I  y   concen a  on what I am feeling physically but I can’t. My mind is not on him. I am wondering about life. I am wondering about a   e sudden changes  at happened so quickly. I do not even realize how far I have walked on  is pa . I can’t brea e. I  y   close my eyes   ease  e tangled mind but I just can’t. My mind is switching  om “I love  is man” and “I miss God”. Ever since I knew  is man, I have re ained  om my rou nes as a Chris an. I re se     y commit   what God has placed in my heart so  at I don’t feel guil  when I am wi  him. Why  e he do I have  is feeling?  e same ques on I asked af r I broke up wi  my first boy iend. Why  e  ck do I have  e feeling? Now I understand  e predicament a li le be er. I couldn’t handle my break-up we  because I had never had  at before. I want   love him and love God in  e same  me but I can’t. My heart keeps   ing me  at God is more important  an him. God is more important  an every ing. But i love him. I love my man so much I can’t s p  inking about him. He is as perfect as a man could be.

He is laying next   me and I  ink, “Should I    him? I know I am going   break his heart, but I do  is for  e best. For bo  of us.” I fina y    him   open his eyes and look at me. I begin      him about  e  me I had   go counseling   “figure out” who I was and if e person I  ough I was was rea y who I wan d   be. I  en  ld him about my devo on   God and  ings  at I  ld God I would never fa  in . He is lis ning care  y. I also   him about  e reason my last boy iend broke up wi  me. It was because he felt he was chea ng  om God and did not keep his promise   Him. I say in my mind, “Ok, if we are breaking up  day, I wi  endure  e pain. At least   some ex nd. I am ready.”  en he asks me what I want. I say, “I want   s p having  is feeling. I want   s p.” He pu s his body away  om me. He pushes me away. He   s me   s p  uching him. His body starts shaking. He is crying. I am hur ng  e man who loves me dearly. A man who adores me at my best and even worse in my worse. I  en realize how much he loves me; how much I love him  o.

He is burying his head in   e pi ow. He re ses   look at me. I look at him and start   cry. I cry because I surely do not want any of  is   happen. I want   be wi  him for long.

I love him. I start   cry. I    him  at I love him and I want him. It takes me a while   convince him   look at me. He is embarrassed   look at me. When he is looking at me, I see a beau  l man. I see a man whose love for me is uncondi ona y. He loves me for who I am and not just because of how I look.  is is  e man I have been dreaming for. A   is  me  e image had been somehow vague. Now it’s crystal clear. He is laying under me. I love him. I wi  never s p loving him.

I smile when I see him. We are at Starbucks. I am studying for my exams next week. We order  e same drinks. But mine is wi  a slight modifica on. I like my coffee   be half regular and half skim milk,  en one-less pump of wha ver syrup, and light ice if it is an iced drink. He is si ing across  om me working on a presenta on. He has   present it in  ont of e class next week. I look at him and smile. Before I  ld him yes rday about what I rea y felt I was worried  at my feeling would change. I love him more. I feel like  ns of weight are now off my chest. I can  ink clearly. I can rea y focus on loving him wi out having   worry about losing  e person  at I love dearly.”

[charlesvstheworld]

For Good (Thank you)

I've heard it said That people come into our lives for a reason Bringing something we must learn And we are led To those who help us most to grow If we let them And we help them in return Well, I don't know if I believe that's true But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you... Like a comet pulled from orbit As it passes a sun Like a stream that meets a boulder Halfway through the wood Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good  It well may be That we will never meet again In this lifetime So let me say before we part So much of me Is made of what I learned from you You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart And now whatever way our stories end I know you have re-written mine By being my friend... Like a ship blown from its mooring By a wind off the sea Like a seed dropped by a skybird In a distant wood Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good  And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness For the things I've done, you blame me for  But then, I guess we know There's blame to share  And none of it seems to matter anymore

[charlesvstheworld]

It’s been a while since I wrote something on tumblr... I really have no idea what to write right now. I promised a reader of my blog that I would write something like a month ago but I haven’t written anything as she requested hahah... well here’s to make long story short I’m not really happy with my job (but I’m glad I have one), my relationship is... well I’m single! Can any of you find one for me? and I spend a lot of cash... I’m still waiting for something great happen to me... 

[charlesvstheworld]

Wine and Sweater⁉️ thank you‼️ 😽❤️😽❤️😽 #VSCOcam

[charlesvstheworld]

Gym buddy 💪💪💪

[charlesvstheworld]

So long my friend. Six years it's been. #blueiPodforblues #RIP

[charlesvstheworld]

Stopped and gave them extra cookies I brought just because they remind me so much of my childhood. Pulling a toy truck and wandering around the neighborhood half naked joyfully. #Youwillconquertheworldoneday #believeme #VSCOcam (at Pomako)