deancas coda, 6k, 15.18 (or a coda where Dean and Cas reunite and it has a very happy ending because Iām sappy)Ā
Why does this sound like a goodbye?
Itās Sam who finds him. Itās Sam who hits the ground knees first and clutches his brotherās face, who finds Dean trembling, who looks at Dean with such terror in his eyes, because maybe heās never seen his brother like this, never seen Dean so broken.
āWhat happened?ā Sam asks, urges him with every fibre of his being, white-knuckled grip around his brotherās shoulders, but Deanās lips wonāt move, canāt move, even as Sam begs him.
Instead, all that comes out is a shaky breath. All that comes out is one last sob, something empty and unfinished, something that doesnāt do justice to fill the void in Deanās chest, and then, voice breaking, Dean finally answers.
āCas,ā he says and itās as if the world pitches itself into darkness and he covers his face with his hands again and tries to forget that he exists.
They do it because Deanās fury knows no bounds. They do it because Dean wonāt stand it, canāt stand it, wonāt let the world end, wonāt let Cas go because that stupid selfish bastard canāt just keep leaving Dean like that (hasnāt he told him that enough times?).
But God laughs. God sees the spark of defiance in Deanās eyes, sees that flaring anger and all of its power, and he still laughs and he laughs and he laughs.
āYou think youāre going to save him?ā Chuck sneers, grinning cruelly even as Dean breaks him apart with Deathās scythe. āBring him back? Please. Nothing comes back from the Empty, Dean. Not anymore. Iāve snapped away all the angels, all the demons, your nephilim. All my children. The Emptyās gone to sleep and it wonāt ever wake up again because your one disobedient little angel is finally locked away.
āThis my story,ā Chuck says even as his body turns to dust, even as his voice withers with it. āAnd I wrote a horror story.ā
Maybe theyāre expecting the universe to collapse, to turn itself inside and out now that its balancing forces are gone. But the world doesnāt do that. The world keeps spinning, devoid of life, inhabited solely by two brothers who grieve.
The world is empty, Dean thinks, so why isnāt Cas here?
Dean starts dreaming. The rare instances when his eyes close, when heās too tired to keep reading, when the tomes he finds in the library are too heavy in his hands, and when he canāt find a single word, not even one goddamned measly word that could be a clue about the Emptyāat some point during those times, his eyes close and he dreams.
You changed me, Cas tells him each night, smiling through tears and every part of Deanās body aches, every part of him wants and he pleads with himself to say something, to tell Cas to stay, to beg him not to go. He tries to move his arms, tries to hold him, tries to cradle Casā face in his hands, wipe the tears away from his cheeks, but maybe God isnāt really dead.
Because no matter what Dean does, no matter how much he wants to, he stands in the scene as before, unmoving, breathless, a memory.
Cas always says, Goodbye, Dean, and the smile he gives him breaks Dean into pieces and pieces.
read the rest on AO3 here
