After shifting so many times, how do I view existence?
Hello hello, my loveliest little sprouts. My hands are still injured, so I won't be able to go back to answering asks for a little longer. But I still felt like writing a little post. Some motivation or advice, as you might call it.
Because we all grow. Every single day. Today you are not the same person you were yesterday, and tomorrow you won't be the same person you were today. Similar, yes, but not 100% the same.
Whether you take that literally or figuratively.
Now, personally, I have the absolute privilege of living many, many lives, at the same time, throughout each other, mixing and matching, whatever I feel like. Which means that sometimes, 1 day has passed here, but 6 lifetimes have passed for me.
Because of that, growth can appear differently, faster, sometimes, but definitely not always.
If I compare myself to who I used to be before I started shifting, and who I became once I figured it out, I am not even close to that person.
The beauty of learning, and growing, is that you're never done. There are always more perspectives, always more views, more things to experience.
So I am not who I was years ago, but in another couple of years, I won't be who I am right now, isn't that exciting?
After so much growing, I have gotten to a point where life is not controlling me, instead, I am floating in this river of an existence, and rather than fighting the current, I am letting it take me exactly where I need to go. We're taking a left? Fun! The water is colder? It will warm back up! I have to swim a little to get back into the flow? I can do that.
I used to fight so incredibly hard against everything around me. Why me? How can I stop this? How can I go against this? I'd get the biggest dopamine hit from anything fun, and the biggest lows from anything that I disliked.
Right now I have gotten to a point where I'm simply here for the experience. I realised that the only one who gives meaning to literally anything in life is me. I'm the one who decides something is fun, and I'm the one who decides something isn't.
My hands getting injured sucks, and obviously that's not something I like. But it's just an experience. It has no meaning until I decide that I do not align with it and it makes me unhappy. These injuries aren't any more meaningful, or impactful, than me getting a huge cup of coffee is. And therefore, I am not making either one of those more or less important than the other.
When something happens that I don't like, I acknowledge I do not appreciate it, and move on. If something happens that I love, I feel grateful, happy, and the world still keeps spinning. I do not value one above the other, but I have learned how to attract one and let go of the other, simply by not letting it ruin my life.
Life, to me, really is not that deep anymore. I constantly attract pretty much anything. Smaller things, bigger things, anything in between. I think about something, someone brings it up, someone gets it for me, someone asks me if I want it. And things I do not want? I have learned more or less how to stop expecting the worst. And in cases it does happen, I have learned how to accept it and roll with it, rather than try and fight that current that will ultimately let my float right past the issue sooner or later.
This does not mean that sometimes, I won't feel depressed, angry or sad. But it's a captured moment, not something that controls me. Feeling is not a bad thing, it's not going to stop you from getting the things you want. Unless you decide that it will.
All of this leads back to shifting, and existing in general. Because really nothing is that deep, until you decide you want it to be. It has made me view the lives I live differently, and approach them in other ways as well. Sometimes I'll purpose pick things that might not be too fun, but will give me the most satisfying and happy ending ever. Sometimes I'll go for pure joy, or the most random experiences. Why not be a fish? Or an atom? Or a cloud, floating in the sky.
This life is not special. It's just one experience, out of so many. Out of an infinity of lives, and an infinity of time. And sure, it might feel like a lot, but that too, is a choice. And to me, the freedom that came with letting go of that huge pressure and sense of doom, truly brought me to a new level of shifting and manifesting.
It's not something you have to figure out in 1 day. It's not even something you have to figure out in this life. But I hope someone reads this, and allows their shoulders to relax, their jaw to unclench, and takes a deep breath for the first time today.
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