Somebody once told me, the world was gonna roll me

Sam | He/his | 30 y/o ♈| 🇳🇱 | Taken | Blog about gender journey | Always welcome to message me!

[chaseme-96]

[lilybug-02]

A needed breath.

[typewriter-worries]

journal entry - 8.17.22 

“what is something that is always true?” 

[chaseme-96]

I don't know if people still follow this blog, as it's been years since I last posted.

I'm turning 28 next month, have had my topsurgery 3 years ago and I've been on testosterone for 1,5 years, but that's 1,5 years ago. I quit taking T because I was in a very bad place. I'm in a much better place now and I have an appointment with my endocrinologist to start it again, but I'm not entirely sure if I want to. I'm (mostly) fine with how I look, but on the other hand I'm tired of getting misgendered 90% of the time. However...

I'm not sure about my gender. Or maybe I still don't accept myself as trans. Deep down I still wish I was just 'normal' and a cis girl. I envy those who are...

[metamorphesque]

Lavender Morning by Chris Cozen

[mueritos]

Happy Trans Day of Visibility! I’m full of trans rage and I hope you are too! show solidarity by punching a T*RF in the face!

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TRANS RESOURCES/MUTUAL AID: carrd | funds | more funds

[rocket-69]

[etonita0-deactivated20200316]

Are you a boy or a girl

I am a slime with a few hair.

[dog-teeth]

im a big ball of gender confusion and mental illnesses in a trench coat pretending to be human

[katechalmers]

[metallicat777]

I actually have no idea what gender I identify myself all I know is that im pretty excited about dragons.

[autism-freaks]

Things that labels for sexuality and gender can do:

Give someone a rough idea of what your experience in the world might be like

Be a springboard for understanding both within yourself and with other people

Help you connect with other people that have similar experiences

Give us new words to describe a very specific experience where before there was none

Things that labels for sexuality and gender DO NOT and SHOULD NOT do:

Give someone else a complete and detailed idea of who you are and what your experience is

Put you in a box, thereby reducing your experience to a few words or sentences

Act as a divider between groups of people

Be the end-all-be-all of who you are and how you view the world

[pretentious-and-mostly-gay]

Gender is confusing and energy consuming.

[rant-andrave-allyoulike]

I envy people who know and are sure of exactly what gender and sexuality they are

[thouroghly-inconsequential]

My mum said that I could be anything when I grew up

When I became a boy she changed her mind

[chaseme-96]

Update 14/5/19

Hi everyone, It’s been a while since I updated here. As for now, I’m 23 and I’m an intern at school. I’m out as trans to my parents and all my friends. My parent’s aren’t supportive, which is also the reason why I’m not on T yet. They want me to wait until I moved out and until my grandmother is dead, because they think she wouldn’t be able to handle it. The last thing really fucks with me mentally. My grandma turns 92 this year and for all I know she can live another 3 tot 5 years. Do my parents really want me to put a hold on my life for that long? To me, that’s inhumane. 

Anyways, I have a pretty big network on instagram nowadays, which I’m really grateful for. I don’t really care about my mothers opion on my clothes anymore and wear whatever I want to wear. I’ve grown a lot. I know for sure that I’m trans and I know what I want. That takes away a big part of my anxiety.

So... at least that’s something :).

Hope y’all are doing great! 

[extramadness]