chaser

of darkness

[chaserofdarkness]

[orionchildofhades]

I'd like to say that I did not get the "but I would blow you" scene the first time I read aftg

lemme explain

I'm not a native English speaker, my first read of aftg was when my English level was medium at best (let me tell you the sport things were hard )

so when Andrew says, "no, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" I understood the importance of the scene, the rythme between their back and forth, the reactions, etc

but for the life of me I did not understand the blow you part. as far as i was concerned, blow meant things went boom, and I did not get the entire reaction for something that just meant he hated him more

I was confused

[chaserofdarkness]

I'm being silly again

[icamefromacupboard]

andreil is so funny to me because on the surface its your typical slowburn enemies to lovers arc but in actuality its so much more than that its:

"you hit me with a fucking racket" to

"this bitch really drugged me" to

"i still dont like you but we got a deal going so" to

"FUCK youre annoying but i can work with this" to

"trust me" to

"im gonna get torchered to try and save you" to

"you wanna kill me? lol bet" to

lovers

[chaserofdarkness]

[chaserofdarkness]

Don't read this shitty monologue of mine, it was stupid, my attention seeker side is being stupid again. But I'm not tagging a shit so people cant find. I'm so stupid...

~

Why

Why do I have to fuckin ask

To fuckin convince myself

Why do I m not capable of feeling love

Feeling being loved

I'm so selfish

My mind knows, that they love me

But my heart always need a reminder

Even a tiny bit of shit makes me question their love

My heart can't feel anyones love

And how am I supposed to love people, when I dont know what it is

I can fool my mind

I can say it that they r my family they're my friends, of course you love them, you know them for years

Do I?

No I don't

I don't even know myself, how can I be able to know others?

Can I ripped my heart off?

Can I be able to love after that? My mind doesn't know what it wants

I don't know a shit what the fuck I'm writing too

I'm being dramatic again.

I should shut the fuck up, this is so stupid

I don't deserved to be loved if I'm this stupid

Yeah, this is it. I don't deserve.

And the thing is, I'm not doing anything for it.

I accepted that.

Like I don't care

Do I?

Don't know

And hell fucking no I'm doing this again

Writing my feelings? I can't even do this shit without feeling embarrassed. Every shit I do is just so embarrassing.

I'm embarrassing.

Even writing this shit in English instead of Turkish is embarrassing. How can I write my thoughts when my vocabulary sucks.

I'm tired of myself.

Talking with wall was easier.

~

[chaserofdarkness]

Once again

Downloading your fics can save your life

(I know it looks like I dropped sm fics but I swear I'm gonna finish them :') I hope)

[chaserofdarkness]

I'm reading my first jegulus fic (and first marauders) but the only problem is that it's more focused on Regulus×Remus friendship than jegulus kxnsksjsjsjksjs

WHICH I don't complain they're so cute. And I'm just at the beginning so..

Well there was a slow burn tag, it's okay I love slow burns.

I love the fic sm though. There is angst. I love angst, especially the BLACK BROTHERS ANGST.

I gotta go back and continue to read I guess. PERFECT

[chaserofdarkness]

Umm, yeah, I just read a beginner guide for Marauders Era..

And

I'm not joking, I cried at this part

AND THIS DIDN'T HELP

Well, I have so many opinions but I'm gonna keep them for myself.

I need another guide or something like that though, or should I just read fanfics ksjsksjskshsj

Anyway, Regulus fav, just to be clear

AND I WANT TO READ SOME JEGULUS FICS

[chaserofdarkness]

So basically I started an Aftg fic with 620k words yesterday.

That's okay, I've no problem with that, it is good fic and I'm currently reading it.

But...

BUT UNFORTUNATELY I'M GETTING DISTRACTED BECAUSE OF TIKTOK.

LIKE WHY MY FYP IS FULL OF MARAUDERS ERA WHEN I BARELY KNOW THEM.

NOW I WANNA READ JEGULUS FICS BECAUSE APPARENTLY REGULUS JUST BECAME MY FAVORITE

But seriously leave me alone just for a week so I can finish the fic I'm reading. I'm not gonna open the fucking tiktok

[clanasadansey]

no one in the world is doing it like Andrew Minyard imagine flirting with your crush by calling them a pipedream then telling them you hate them then telling them you’d blow them then comparing them to a raccoon. amazing 10/10

[sepulchralblues]

hey yeah remember when Andrew responded, "you'll what?" to Kevin's "if you hit me again" and revealed to everyone exactly how much Neil meant to him but Neil just went okay then onto exy like the love of his life didn't just serve his heart up on a silver fucking platter

[chaserofdarkness]

That was such a good moment I was so hyped (♥ω♥*)

[nervousdemeanor7]

when 'Nathaniel said' became 'Neil said' after Andrew told him to bury Nathaniel in Baltimore with his father!!!!AHHHHHHHHH♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[chaserofdarkness]

The fucking relief I felt when I read that scene... It was so good (✿ ♥‿♥)

[moonsnqil]

i want an aftg time loop sort of au where everything is the same but neil dies every single time and resets to his mother's death day and he's so sick of burning that body and he's nauseous from the smell bc it's all too familiar by now. hes tried everything and one way or another he ends up dead wether its an accident, a quick death, slow torture until hes begging to die. neil thinks he can still see the cuts and blood from every time before. hes on his 10th reset, hes in millport, hes on the exy team again since the teammates are almost comforting in the way they just repeat things hes already heard a few times before. hes exhausted, he wants to give up but doesn't even know how so hes stuck and everything aches and hes starting to regret ever having tried to live if this would be the result every time. hes upset, his team just lost a game hes spent 3 lives trying to win. the crazed laughter and the way he spits out "fuck you" to andrew after a racquet to the stomach feels good, a little less numb. hes made it to this point only once before, the part where wymack tells him to join the team. last time he fought and argued his way into a solid no and so they left him there in millport all alone just like he wanted. this time he doesn't fight as much for a no and finds himself not saying anything. if he's going to die, might as well do something he likes. he wants to play on the court until his bones break and muscles tear and if that's what kills him this time, then maybe it won't be so bad.

[chaserofdarkness]

THIS IS SO GOOD

Now I need to read something like this

[writtenicarus]

Neil, trying to flirt with Andrew: I'm going to go shower, wanna help me? (;

Andrew: have you never showered before

[chaserofdarkness]

Well I'm kinda curious

What are the Aftg quotes that u can't forget or u don't wanna forget

There're lot to me actually but these two...

"Thank you, you were amazing." Like i stop whatever I'm doing and say this suddenly, all the time

And of course

"You should be court." This quote made me fall in love with Kevin, I can't help it

Oh and ofc

"You gave me a key and called it home."

ಥ_ಥ

(I found the fanart on Pinterest btw)

[chaserofdarkness]

Can someone stop me, I'm about to make a really big mistake...

I'M ABOUT TO START AN ONGOING FIC! SHIT!