[chaseyourparadise]

i haven’t weighed myself in a long long time and i know i’m obease again and an old photo of me in the middle of the worst of my ed popped up in my snapchat memories and i am this close to relapsing and breaking up with my bf and starving myself again (:

[chaseyourparadise]

log:

1 sausage link (75cal)

1 blueberry cliff bar (250cal)

total intake: 325cal

my boyfriend and i have a professional photo session a week from today and i am so scared to see the outcome of the photos, i’ve never had professional photos done and i want to lose at least 5-10 pounds before the

[chaseyourparadise]

water flavor enhancer is your girls best friend

[chaseyourparadise]

in the words of panic at the disco, “sit back and relapse again”

here i am back on this account

[chaseyourparadise]

food log - october 2nd

total intake: 712cal

2 biscuits with jelly: +410cal

chocolate chip cookie: +220cal

cappuccino: +82cal

end of the day total: 712 calories

weight: 154 pounds (+2.8lbs)

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i am absolutely exhausted, work 110% kicked my ass today and my legs and feet are in EXCRUCIATING pain. i avoided binging at work and i’m super proud of myself, considering i gained almost 3 pounds overnight and i am incredibly bloated. i just want to be back down to 150 by the end of the week

[chaseyourparadise]

Hi I saw your post about needing to find a way to calculate your cals before getting your Fitbit, I use Movesum you should try it out xx

thank you so much! i definitely will do this 💛

[chaseyourparadise]

food log - october 1st

total intake: 880cal

hashbrowns: +280cal

sausage biscuit: +280cal

personal pan cheese pizza: +320

total calories burned: 51cal

15 minute leisurely pace walk: -51cal

end of the day total: 880 calories

weight: 151.2 (-1.0lbs)

bmi: 28.57 (-0.18)

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i really need to figure out how to accurately calculate how many calories i burn at work until i can get a fitbit. i’m on my feet for 8 hours a day, mostly moving that entire time (i work at subway). anyways, happy october! today begins my goal to hit my first gw and lose 12 pounds by the end of the month. my intake was doubled today because i worked such a long shift and i didn’t want to binge on something super bad for me while on the clock and i’m genuinely not happy with it at all :) i get my fit bit on friday and i know it’ll help keep me in check, so that’s good news

[chaseyourparadise]

my intake today was only 300 calories, and on top of that i went to my new job and really liked my co workers and the job itself, plus i went for a walk, showered and cleaned. i feel insanely good about everything tonight, here’s to the beginning of october and reaching my first gw (140lbs) by the end of it

[chaseyourparadise]

i just want to go for a walk but i’m so weak i can barely stand without wanting to pass out :)

[chaseyourparadise]

update, i was seeing black spots towards the end of it but another 51 calories burned for the day

[chaseyourparadise]

why do i have to be so uncontrollable around food when i’m high? being high gives me an INSANE confidence boost and makes me feel overall content and okay but i eat literally everything in sight and binge ungodly amounts of food

[chaseyourparadise]

i just want to go for a walk but i’m so weak i can barely stand without wanting to pass out :)

[chaseyourparadise]

food log - sept. 30th

total intake: 525cal

hashbrowns - 160cal

canola oil - 75cal

mandarin orange cup - 110cal

vanilla cupcake - 180cal

total calories burned: 223cal

light cleaning for 60 minutes: -172cal

15 minute leisurely pace walk: -51cal

end of day total: 301cal

weight: 152.2lbs (-0.4)

bmi: 28.75 (overweight)

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today i got up at 7:45am to make myself breakfast and to get ready for my new job, and tomorrow i have to start getting up at 4:45 because i work 8 hour morning shifts all week 😅 good news, i weighed myself yesterday and i’ve lost another 1.2lbs!

[chaseyourparadise]

once i get paid next week i am finally finally going to get my gym membership, i also start my new job tomorrow which is 42 hour work week on my feet the entire time

[chaseyourparadise]

TW

hello! since i’m starting to use this account again due to a recent relapse, i thought i’d take a moment to introduce myself. i’m grace, i’m 18, and i am diagnosed with ednos, borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety, ptsd, and adhd. i am currently medicated with lexapro, abilify, straterra and buspherone. i am a cat mom of 3 (though these were taken while visiting the animal shelter) and i am an aquarius sun, leo moon and scorpio rising/mars. my current stats are 5’1 and 153 pounds, with my ugw being 120. i’m always looking for friends and people to chat with 💛

[chaseyourparadise]

food log: sept 26th

total insane: 292cal

1 cup orange juice - 110cal

mandrrain oranges - 100cal

chicken and yellow rice - 69cal

butter - 12cal

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i’m still really sick after trying to get over it for days. my congestion is absolutely over the top and i can’t taste anything and i’m drowsy but luckily i don’t have much of an appetite. i have to drive an hour and a half to get my boyfriend at college to take him to the er today for a sprained ankle, and getting to see him will be the highlight of my week honestly.

[chaseyourparadise]

my boyfriend is on a diet and says he’s hungry and i tell him if he’s hungry he needs to eat because his body needs the nutrients as if i don’t have an eating disorder

[dietstarz]

literally no one:

people with bpd: what if i develop an eating disorder for a false sense of control because that’s the root my entire disorder

their therapists: NO-