Stay_Strong_

Following a path they can’t see

[chasinganadventure]

“I thought that I was special, you made me feel

Like it was my fault you were the devil, lost your appeal

Does it keep you in control?

For you to keep her in a cage?

And you swear you didn't know

You said you thought she was your age”

~ Your Power Billie Eilish

[photographersunite]

[chasinganadventure]

Everyone said you look fine from the outside but in my mind I was upside and screaming what the hell is wrong with me. Tryna make it make sense making my head spin now I pray to forget cuz I’m still here screaming what the hell is wrong with me.

[chasinganadventure]

Truth

You know You’re hella mad/sad when your favorite song comes on and don’t sing along...that is a big problem

[rtargaryens]

development of cheryl and toni’s feelings for each other (insp)

[camrenisforever]

I’m into it Whatever trouble that you’re thinking I could get into it…

[chasinganadventure]

My baby knows that I deliver

[chasinganadventure]

Pumps and a Bump

[camrenexposed-deactivated201806]

sexuality.

You could almost say I’ve been studying Laurens behaviour from 2012-16 in correlation with her sexuality. I’m finding it extremely difficult to see anything ‘questionable’ about her sexuality, other than her interactions with Camila. When I watch these interviews with the girls, Lauren touching or looking at the girls is clearly platonic. There’s nothing that even hints at anything within her sexuality through her behaviour with the girls. But with Camila, there’s something different. Those longing stares weren’t platonic, how they touched and interacted with each other, wasn’t platonic. The only part of Laurens behaviour that showed us she was also attracted to girls, could be seen through moments with Camila. There’s no doubt in my mind that C played a huge part in Laurens self-acceptance. In an interview a couple months back, Lauren spoke about her sexuality at #beautyconNYC: (3:10-)

Lauren saying “what are you looking at when you see that” is blatantly obvious to me. Camila. The only factor fans could use at the time when/if doubting Lauren’s sexuality was Camila. The interactions and behaviours that the two shared, fuelled the speculation and presumptions about not only Lauren’s sexuality, but Camila’s also. She mentioned when she was younger, she “wasn’t ready to accept it about herself”. Presuming she was questioning her sexuality in her mid/late teens, the only person around her whom she publicly showed attraction to via these little secret looks and touches was Camila. She didn’t show anything intense towards the other 5H girls as she did with Camila. You could tell her interactions with Dinah, Ally and Normani were purely platonic and even from early X-Factor interviews, Lauren was always extremely protective and admiring of Camila. She spoke about “not being ready” to come out so at the time she must have already had existing doubts about her sexuality. I wonder which girl caused her questioning? Fans labelled her before she even had a chance to accept and fully understand it herself. So this coincides perfectly with Camila’s Facebook live, where she’s asked for her advise on an LGBT relationship where the other half isn’t ready “to come out”. (12:40-13:50)

Watch Lauren’s interview first then watch Camila’s. Compare their descriptions and understandings of ‘coming out’ and note that they are EXACTLY the same. C fills in the gaps L missed out in her interview and vice versa. It all falls in place like a little puzzle. Their words are spoken parallel to each others. Aren’t they basically both explaining how they personally reacted during that specific time? You can tell both are speaking from experience. C’s “I’ve learned that” was a massive slip up on her behalf.  I mean the only way you learn something is if you study it, or it happens to you. Camila must be super invested in the LGBT+ community to be able to articulate a response as intricate as the one she gave in this particular interview. There’s no doubt that each individual played some sort of role in the acceptance of each other’s sexualities, whatever those may be. 

Remember though: “All you can do is just love them”.

I wonder who did the loving in this scenario? Was it Camila? Was she loving Lauren as they both finally understood and accepted their feelings towards one and other? Is C’s Hurting the struggle in which she/Lauren were unable to view their sexualities in a positive light after the pressure of shipping and criticism from labels and PR teams? Is the Healing her coming to terms with herself and starting to gradually share to fans a huge part of her that is ‘forbidden’? Is the Loving the final ‘fuck it’, C accepting and being proud of being who she is? I wonder how many more “she” pronouns will pop up in the album. 

Everything is a process, sit tight.

[blooodsweatandtears]

Lauren at Harper’s Bazaar 150 Most Fashionable Women party

[chasinganadventure]

Losing Myself

Things are not the same anymore. I don't know who I am and I don't know the person I am becoming. I am no longer happy any more and I don't feel happy but sad always. It seems that I always am the one to make mistakes and screw things up. I am the black sheep in the family who just can't get their life together. I become more distant from myself and others around me each day. Some day I just sit on the couch and wonder why I am even here, what am I doing that is making a change. If I leave today...will it effect the world. No it won't because I grow smaller everyday as the world keeps moving. I don't know who I am. I'm losing myself

[chasinganadventure]

No more hiding in the shadows and putting on a mask. Im stepping into the light and no longer afraid to be me.

Myself

[chasinganadventure]

Sanvers is goals

[just-shower-thoughts]

I can’t believe it’s 2017 and we still can’t buy Girl Scout cookies in bulk.

[ruinedchildhood]

[chasinganadventure]

Life is too short and we should kiss the girls we wanna kiss..... and I just.......I wanna kiss you 💋

[chasinganadventure]

Wherever You Go

After 4 and a half years of living out the biggest and craziest dream of their lives Camila decided it was her time to leave fifth harmony. I fully support her even though I may not agree completely. Camila is a smart woman who knows what she is doing. I don't think she knows the impact this has on thousands of harmonizers worldwide. I will still love and support Camila along with the rest of the girls. My heart is still in denial but this is happening. I wish Camila all the best but I will still love her forever 💜💜 #camilacabello #fifthharmony #harmonizer #laurenjauregui #dinahjanehansen #normanikordei #allybrookehernandez #camilaleft5h #pleasedontgo #4H @waakeme-up