Chasing That Rainbow

I am that 1% of woman who has RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) and this is my journey to get my little rainbow.

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What is RPL?

Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

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24w6d

Things have been crazy since the holidays with trying to make it to all the family events, friends events, and than of course the usual work and trying to relax at home. But now everything is calming down and going back to as normal as things can be. We have our child birthing class this Saturday which I am really looking forward to and next month I have more classes for 1st week home with baby, the new norm, and breastfeeding. I am looking forward to all of them. I cant believe we are getting so close though it seems so far away. I'm also excited cause we finally got pretty much all but the furniture we are donating out of our spare room so we can bring the lovely crib my dad bought for us as a Christmas present, and start working on getting the nursery set up.

The last week I will say has been a bit of a challange as I caught a really nasty headcold/chest cold. I'm in my bathroom now filling the tub with super hot water to create a steam room to try and help me breathe and get my nose a little more unclogged. It sucks that theres not much you can take to help alleviate it because of pregnancy, but so you know the absolute worse? Peeing yourself when you sneeze or cough. I cant tell you how many times I will have just gone to the bathroom and 5 mins later I sneeze or cough just right and pee my pants. I ended up getting so upset over it I went out and bought pee pads for myself. My husband was like "uhhh... why are you buying pads? You shouldn't be bleeding." And I had to explain that its not period pads they're bladder leak pads cause apparently I cant stop peeing myself everytime I gotta sneeze or have a big cough. And he just went awww and hugged me. Lol.

I will say though Ripley has been such an active little girl. Sometimes I swear shes doing a drum solo on my tummy lol. But it makes me feel so much better when shes kicking and moving around cause I know shes ok. Sometimes I start to worry a little if I havent felt her move around for a while but make myself stay calm and if I dont feel her by bed time than I will start to panic. I always feel her moving around after work so if I dont feel her during I know I should feel her afterwards.

I'm kinda not looking forward to my next appointment on the 8th of FEB just because I have to do my Gestational Diabetes test and get my Rhogam shot. Ugh. So it should be a magical fun filled day, but Ripley is more than worth it.

I can't believe how much I already love this little girl growing inside of me. She is going to be so spoiled rotten it's not even funny. ❤❤❤

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We are having a GIRL!!!! Our little Ripley Ann!

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19w4d

My baby bump has finally emerged along with some stretch marks, round ligament pain, and the occasional sore lower back. But definitely all worth it. Baby is now the size of a hedgehog, lol which is adorable. Hardly any of my normal clothes fit anymore, and my undergarments are now useless lol. Never thought I'd wake up and go oh no, my undies dont fit, or oh no I can stuff my boobs into my bra. Thought it's kinda annoying, I am also filled with joy. On Monday I will have reached week 20, the half way mark of my pregnancy, and also my anatomy scan appointment. My birthday is tomorrow and so instead of doing a party, we are just staying home and chilling out with my bestie. Instead we are doing a family dinner Monday night and I will be opening a present that will tell us if we are having a little girl or a little boy. I'm so excited, and thought this day would never come. Now can the weekend just hurry up and end so I can find out lol?

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16w1d

2nd trimester has definatly been a little better than the 1st. I still have some days that I feel like utter crap, but definitely an improvement. We went to our 16 week appointment and I was anxious and disappointed we didnt get another ultrasound but I cant expect to get one each time we go. But we did however get to hear the babys heartbeat on the doppler for the first time and I could feel tears start to form. It was definitely relaxing to hear that heart beat. It was a healthy 148 bpm. Once the appointment was over we went to set up the anatomy scan appointment and I was a little sad they couldn't do it for Dec 7th because it was 3 days short of 20 weeks. I was really hoping to do a gender reveal birthday party cause my birthday is Dec 8th. But I guess Dec 10th isnt too bad it could've been worse.

So excited for all the stuff that's coming up. Now can it just be April? Lol

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Never again

So I have been a little constipated since sometime last week. I was given at my first appointment a sheet that stated your problem like headache, constipation, etc. And than next to the problem was a pregnancy safe list of some meds you could try. So I took the Colace thinking maybe I just needed get thing softened up, and drank nothing but water and ate apples to try to coax things cause those always worked for me before pregnancy. Nope nothing. So than at this point i just wanted relief so i went through the list and the only fast acting one was Milk of Magnesia, so that's what i got. Holy hell never again! The instant I took the medicine my gag reflex went off hard and almost puked it all up. Which I thought was weird because it just tasted like chalky water. Now on the bottle it says to expect a bowl movement in 1/2-6hours. So I sat and about an hour in I my stomach felt weird so I figured this must be it. Nope instead it went into a 3 hour puking fest. It was bad so I called up my doctors office and explained what was going on and they said it sounded like my stomach just didnt agree with it. And asked what all I have tried before and than said to try Miralax. But for the rest of the night I was just miserable and was scared to eat when my stomach was rumbling cause it was hungry. But I ate some food and than felt yucky afterwards so I popped a Unisome and got some much needed sleep. I feel better this morning, but still after all that and still havent gone potty. ::sigh:: this is just been a rough last week of my 1st trimester lol. Fingers crossed 2nd trimester is better

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Small scare

So Monday towards the end of my shift I had a small scare. I went to the bathroom and when i wiped i had a very very light pink spotting. Instantly my brain went into panic mood and i couldn't hold back any tears. I quickly went back to my station to clean up when my other coworker came back from putting an order on and saw me crying. She asked what was wrong and I told her what was going on (shes been there for the other 3 miscarriages). She quickly took over cleaning my station and told me to just go home and not worry about it. So I called my doctors office and left a message for the nurses and rushed home. My husband was home from work early and I just broke down and bawled on his shoulder. He thought I lost my job until I could finally speak and tell him what was going on. He calmed me down and that's when the nurse called back and said that to just watch it and make sure it didn't turn red and if it did to quickly call back and they would bring me in for a sono and testing. But I didnt have anymore spotting after the first incident thankfully. My husband and I think it was because we were busy moving stuff out of the spare room to start turning it into the nursery, and than it being my first day back from our relaxing staycation. But so far today everything has been perfectly fine and so now I'm just put on a lifting restriction of no more than 20lbs. Which is gunna be a little hard since I normally lift anywhere between 10-80 lbs at work but I know all my coworkers will help me out. I just hate feeling useless always bothering someone to grab me a big bag of flour or loading up icing cubes into the mixer for me, or grabbing cake boxes out for me. But I will do anything to make sure my baby makes it here. Can April 29th get here already?

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12w6d

Things have been going a little better as far as morning sickness, but acid reflux and heartburn has taken its place. So I'm now on prescription zantac and trying not to eat anything that would normally set off my acid reflux. We tried to do the Nuchal Translucency test but when they were doing the sono baby wouldnt get off its head and was just doing a little break dance for everyone. So they just decided to test my blood and not do the picture since they couldn't get it clearly. But it was super awesome to see our little alien moving all around.

This past week we were supposed to be on vacation in Savannah GA with friends and family but we decided to cancel and stay home because I was too nervous to travel. So we did a staycation and just relaxed all week and started to get the spare bedroom cleaned out and ready to start transforming into the nursery. We both are getting so excited and can't believe how fast things are going. Though I'm so ready to stop feeling miserable. Tomorrow is my first day back at work and honestly I'm not looking forward to it. Fingers crossed it's going to be a good day.

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10w1d

Life has been a little difficult lately as I have been suffering nausea and the occasional dry heaving/vomiting. I constantly just feel sick either because I am hungry or because I ate something. They had me on Vitamin B6 during the day and Unisom for night, but the B6 wasnt working. Unisom works great but knocks me right out so I can't take it during the day. Now they have me on a different anti-nausea med and for the first day it hasn't really helped much. I'm going to wait a little longer today and try it again and see how it goes. Right now I'm just trying to see if it's my acid reflux acting up, but if it doesn't settle in the next half hour to an hour I'm going to try the meds again. I just hope the nausea ends soon.

My last appointment went really well, and baby is still doing great! My hubby says it looked like a potato with limbs lol. I even got to see my little one wiggle around and move its arms and legs. It was a magical moment. We go back on our wedding Anniversary, October 15, to do a heart doppler, and a Nuchal Translucency test. I'm excited to see our little alien again, especially because they will be bigger. I am always so impressed with how much my little alien grows in between appointments.

October 15th is also Pregnancy & Child loss rememberence day. They have this wave of light at 7pm your time where you light a candle in rememberence of your lost baby. I will definitely be doing that this year in rememberence of my 3 little ones who I carry in my heart for always and forever. It will be a happy and sad day as I remember the ones I lost, but also celebrating my rainbow baby along with my anniversary with my husband.

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My husband and I feel like we are finally ready to announce our pregnancy to the world. Here is what we came up with for our announcement photo. It was all my husbands idea really but I absolutely loved it especially because it included disney in it. I'm an absolute disney girl. Lol.

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9w0d

Sooo sleepy, nausea on and off, and can only eat small meals at a time but feel hungry every 3 hours. I am still so amazed that it's going so well this time. Today's the 3rd month and I just wanna cry with joy [but I can't cause ya know might look weird at work lol]. I graduated out of my Reproductive and Fertility clinics care and into my normal OB's. I'm sad I won't be seeing Dr. Keller and her amazing staff anymore, but it will definatly save us in gas money and time since we wont have to drive 2 hours to see her. My first appointment here is Friday at 2 so I'm a little nervous, but still feeling good about everything. So happy our little alien is looking like they're here to stay.

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8w4d

Well we graduated out of my RE's care yesterday, and now can go just to my normal OB. Baby is looking fantastic and has changed soooo much in just 2 weeks I can't believe it! Babys heart rate was a healthy 172bpm, and was at about an inch long. My heart just soars with joy that our baby is doing so great this time around. The fear is almost gone but a little still lingers in the back on my mind. Hopefully it just stays tucked back there so I can enjoy my journey with my little alien.

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7w4d

Omg nausea has been kicking my ass. 2 nights ago I figured out I have a food aversion to bacon something awful. I tried to make my husband and I BLT sandwiches and cooking the bacon started to make me nauseous and than once I finished cooking everything and walked away I started dry heaving something fierce. Next day just felt like complete crap, and couldn't go downstairs cause the smell of bacon still lingered so had to wait for husband to get home to get rid of the smell. Couldn't eat anything though attempted some crackers and plain white rice and was able to get some down. Tried to drink some broth but instantly was like nope! Today was the same so I went to 3 different places and finally found preggie pop drops and some morning sickness bands at Target and they have been working wonderfully so far. Finally got a good meal down and feeling pretty good. Can't wait till the 20th for our 8 1/2 week ultrasound to see how big our little alien has gotten.

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6w1d ultrasound

Everything went really well. Baby was measuring right on target, we got to see the little heart fluttering on the screen and it measured at 115 bpm. I am so happy it went so well. I got another appointment at 8w to make sure everything is still going well and on track, and than I will be released from my RE and able to go to my normal OB. Hopefully everything keeps going in the right direction.

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6w1d

On my way to my 1st ultrasound and doctors appointment. Really nervous but also really excited. It's going to be the longest hour and 40 min car ride of my life!!

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5w4d

My 4th and final blood draw came back at 10,126. They were very happy with how well it has been climbing, and that things are looking be going great this time around. So now I gotta wait till Wednesday the 5th to see my little alien and I am struggling with waiting lol. I am so excited that this will be the first time I get to see my little one and it's for a happy reason.