"I’m sorry. I’m not trying to blame you!" he said, "And I have fucking panic attacks because they were alone, and every time I’ve left someone I loved alone, they get hurt. You . Kamilla. You again. Matt. And I was scared that they were going to get hurt." He stopped, his heart dropping to his stomach. Don’t you dare fucking say that about her." He growled. He was protective over the daughter that he had never known. And he wouldn’t allow anyone to talk bad about her. Isaac had had enough. Fuck this trying not to touch Noah bullshit. He took a step forward, grabbing Noah’s hands. "Noah. Baby. No." he whispered, pressing a kiss to each of the crescent shaped indents. "Baby stop. Baby please. PLEASE.” Isaac was frantic and full on crying now. He was a failure, a complete and utter failure. He had promised Noah he would never be like any of his ex-boyfriends, but here he was, breaking his heart. “Noah, they weren’t right. You do deserve a forever, and I still want to be your forever. Fuck Noah, you’re mine. You’re the only person I have ever loved. You are the only person I’ve done anything sexual with that wasn’t against my will. You are the only person I want. And this whole thing? It’s al my fault. None of this is yours.” Isaac scrubbed a hand down his face, wiping away the tears. “I failed you, Noah. I’ve failed our kids. I’m the failure, not you.” he looked Noah in the eyes and saw how hurt and scared he looked, and he couldn’t bar it. As soon as he mentioned the shooting, Isaac let out another loud sob. He had to lean against the wall to keep his knees from buckling under him and collapsing. “NO!” he said, shaking his head. “I would have died if he had killed you. And I will die if you die. Noah please give me a change. Please,” he begged. “Let me fix this. Let me fix us. Let me fix you.” Isaac wrapped his arms around Noah and held him close once more, cupping his lower back and the back of his neck. He was so thin, he could feel the vertebrae in his back, and it felt like he was hugging a skeleton. “You are not a piece of shit. I’m the piece of shit, and please no. Don’t let. Don’t abandon our kids, don’t abandon me, and please, please don’t kill yourself. Because if you do, our kids are growing up orphans.” Isaac buried his face in his hair and sobbed. “Noah I can’t lose you. I”m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please give me a chance. I’ll quit my job. I’ll do it for you and the kids. Just please don’t leave me.”
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