My Digital Library Of Sili

my friends call me Chazzy | She/her | I LOVE ART AND WRITING AND MY BBGS (also passionately hyperventilating about loz) | COMMS OPEN

[chazzynon]

Welcome to my evil lair!! (Updated June 3/26)

I make a lot of art and writing about my favs, and I yap a lot about stupid things. It that kinda stuff tickles your fancy, then have fun looking around :)

I’m also trying to help my friend and her mom, who has stage 4 cancer. All commissions are by donation and specifics can be found on this post

You can also find me on:

Ao3

Tiktok

Instagram (not super active)

Important info:

- THIS IS MY MAIN PAGE!!!! If you want to dm me, use this account

- I don’t mind most shipping as long as you tag things appropriately. However, I dislike romanticizing harmful stuff, like rape, incest, racism etc. If you wanna play around with those things just tag em pls. And most importantly, be kind, be respectful

- I post about my own aus for my fav fandoms on here so pls keep the au tags in if you reblog

- I DONT DRAW OR WRITE NSFW, EVEN FOR COMMISSIONS. If you want to request that please try someone willing to make it

- I ship totk link and totk Zelda so hard it’s not even funny like I love them sm

- I love answering questions/ art asks! Feel free to use the ask button lol

- currently rotating these guys in my head on repeat

fandoms:

- undertale (it wasn’t my choice and you’ll never hear me admit it irl /j)

- Dr. Stone

- deltarune

- legend of Zelda (currently insane for)

- occasionally wings of fire, its near and dear to my heart

My tags:

#unknownvariable or #uv for all of my legend of Zelda heroes/princess meet au content

#hs for my legend of Zelda: heroes and slaves au with oc link and Zelda

#chazzyrambles for yapping and other such ideas

#chazzyart for all my visual art stuff

#chazzyanswers for responses to asks

Have fun and enjoy the power of the internet :D

[chazzynon]

Biggest crayfish I have ever seen in my creek today

[chazzynon]

Submitted at 11:59pm

[chazzynon]

Rereading the fsa manga and I was reminded that Green literally carried everyone. Bro must have some serious eldest kid syndrome to have to do al that. Even in the first half/manga he was the voice of reason and the one who had enough social awareness to comfort Erune. Like bro is probably the only “heroic” part of Link. The others are absolute disasters. Red got lost and got mugged, Blue walked directly into a trap in the first three minutes of being alone, and Vio literally got kidnapped. Green was out there beating dungeons ALONE and freeing the knights of hyrule. Green is the mvp of that story, the others are side characters. Shadow was wrong it wasnt Link holding Vio back, there were all holding Green back. Bbg needs a nap and some actual teamwork. Looking at you blue.

[blueskittlesart]

loz twitter was briefly trying to decide if the hero of time can read. i genuinely think the answer is no

[mangomoonzzz]

caiMarinha

individual frames vvv

[hexpatient]

some psychiatry loaded language and thought stopping cliches:

The Work (what exactly is the work??? unless this is explained with concrete specifics, it is meaningless)

Maybe that was true before, but it isnt now (assumption. often blatantly false)

It's over now (assumption. often blatantly false)

that's irrational (general shut down and dismissal, but often blatantly false. higher class way of calling something crazy. gives a false impression of intellectualism)

thats's just the [mental illness/pathology] talking (maybe or maybe not, but they do not actually think about it or engage with any reasoning. another easy general shut down and dismissal)

you just think/feel like/believe/perceive that (pathologizes knowledge by asserting that it is a disordered thought, feeling, belief, or observation)

take responsibility [for being abused/traumatized] (usually just victim blaming, and obscuring the responsibility of the abusing/traumatizing party if applicable, a subtle accusation. choosing to see a mental health professional is literally taking responsibility. at this point, what is "responsible" is so elusive that it has no actual meaning. what does an abused person do to "take responsibility" for that when the abuse is outside of their control, which is a key element of abuse and also trauma? ultimately it is a distraction and a re-delegation of the burden back onto the victim. without clear specifics, this means nothing)

negative thoughts/beliefs/feelings ("negative" within psychiatry and especially in this context, is synonymous with "false" and "sinful" and "sick" as in mental illness)

healing/recovery (this does not actually refer to what a mental health patient wants and needs to improve their life and quality of life, but to the desired traits and goals of their professionals. often it is characterized in such a way that suggests a kind of transcendence: you are barely a human being anymore you are so healed. nothing phases you. you are indifferent to life's horrors)

suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem (disregards the ongoing issues suicidal people have, their efforts to alleviate those issues, and trivializes their desire to die as a result of poor logic)

[madgirlmanifesto]

something that really bothers me about #5 is that it implies that the madness is some evil demon possessing the body, a separate abnormal entity from the person, who is normal. in reality, there is no universal definition for (ab)normality or (ir)rationality. i am my madness, my madness is me; we are talking.

[hexpatient]

ive had a similar realization. its a really bad and dangerous way to conceptualize a patient because it implies violence against the mental illness ("challenging a negative thought") cant hurt the person. in reality they just hurt me, a person, repeatedly. very bad.

[chazzynon]

Jumping on band wagon here. For #10, when you tell a suicidal person the their problems are temporary that a complete assumption. You don’t know how long they’ll be dealing with their biggest issue. It’s so much better to help them find things worth living for over telling them their problems will be gone if they just suck it up and keep going. Cause I can assure you that they are, everyday being alive is them trying to just suck it up. It’s not working, that’s why they tried to kill themselves/want to in the first place.

Help them find things worth living for, don’t lie to them because that will make it worse.

[kianamaiart]

ARE YOU THE ONE WHO MADE THAT AU OF ASH'S MOM AND JESSIE DATING???

ye

all of it’s on my pokemon account tho @yamujiburo!

[luna-azzurra]

TIPS FOR WRITING GRIEF (AGAIN)!!!

⟢ ⟢ ⟢ LONG POST!!! ⟢ ⟢ ⟢

⋆˙⟡ Grief is not sad all the time and that will mess your character up more than the sadness does. There are going to be hours where your grieving character forgets. Where they're laughing at something stupid on their phone or annoyed about traffic or genuinely hungry and thinking about what they want for lunch and then it comes back and the forgetting makes it WORSE. The return of it after a moment of normal is its own specific violence. It feels like betrayal. Or it feels like proof that you're not grieving right, that you didn't love them enough to remember every second. Writers keep their grieving characters sad in every scene because it reads as respectful and consistent and it is WRONG. The grief that ambushes you in the cereal aisle is realer than the grief you perform at the funeral.

⋆˙⟡ THE STUFF!!! nobody talks about the stuff. Someone dies and suddenly there is a BODY and there are OBJECTS and both of these things require immediate logistical decisions that do not pause for your feelings. What do you do with their half-finished cup of tea. Their reading glasses on the nightstand. Their voicemails still on your phone. Their shampoo in the shower that you cannot bring yourself to use but also cannot throw away so it just. Sits there. Getting lower somehow. Did someone use it. Did you use it without noticing???? the material reality of someone's absence is brutal and specific and most grief writing floats above it in abstraction like feelings are the main event. The feelings ARE happening inside a body that is standing in a house full of objects and that matters. SO WRITE THE OBJECTS.

⋆˙⟡ Grief makes people act completely out of character and everyone around them handles that badly. Your character might get mean. Might get inappropriately funny. Might make a terrible financial decision or sleep with someone they shouldn't or stop showering or clean the entire house at 3am for the fourth time this week. Drief does not make people into better, softer, wiser versions of themselves on any reliable schedule. Sometimes it makes them into someone they don't recognize and that is terrifying on top of everything else. Snd the people around them (friends, family, whoever) they want the grief to be legible. They want it to look like grief is supposed to look so they know what to do. When it doesn't look right they get uncomfortable and then they get scarce and then your grieving character is also somehow dealing with the secondary loss of people who couldn't handle it. which is its own thing.

⋆˙⟡ Someone died and your character didn't like them very much. Or loved them and also resented them. Or is relieved and then immediately guilty about the relief. Or is grieving someone who hurt them, someone with whom things were unfinished in a way that can never be finished now, someone who they had been estranged from, someone who they were about to reconcile with, someone who they had been slowly losing for years before the actual death so the death was almost anticlimactic except that it closes the door in a way that slow losing doesn't. Grief for a complicated person is complicated. You grieve who you wished they were alongside who they actually were. You grieve the relationship you deserved and didn't get. None of this is clean. None of this resolves. Stop writing grief like the person who died was beloved and simple. MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT SIMPLE.

⋆˙⟡ The body keeps doing its thing and that's horrifying. You know what happens the week someone close to you dies? you get hungry. You get tired. You wake up at the normal time. Your body does not know. It has not been informed. It wants breakfast and it wants to stretch and at some point it is going to want things you feel like you have no right to want right now. The physical continuation of your own life in the immediate aftermath of loss is one of the stranger things a human being has to experience and almost nobody writes it. Your character needs to eat. They need to sleep. Their back hurts. They have a headache that won't quit because they've been crying and dehydrated for four days. They are a body doing body things in the middle of the worst thing that has ever happened to them and those two realities exist at the same time with no resolution.

⋆˙⟡ Anniversaries and dates are only half the ambush. the random Friday is the other half. Everyone knows about the first birthday without them. The first holiday. The one year mark. Those dates are braced for. Your character knows they're coming and steels themselves and sometimes that even works. What nobody warns you about is the random Tuesday in March that isn't any significant date at all except that something small happens: the light is a certain way, a song comes on, they see someone wearing the same jacket, and it is somehow worse than the anniversary was. Grief has terrible aim. it does not respect the calendar you've organized it into. it goes quiet for weeks and then destroys you on an unremarkable Wednesday because you drove past a gas station you used to stop at together. Write the random Tuesday. it's realer than the anniversary scene and it will devastate people who know.

⋆˙⟡ People say insane things to grieving people and the grieving person has to just stand there and take it. They're in a better place. Everything happens for a reason. i know exactly how you feel, when my dog died--and your character cannot say anything because this person means well and grief has a strange etiquette where the bereaved is somehow responsible for managing the comfort of everyone who comes to comfort them. The grieving person ends up performing okayness for the people who came to check on them. Ends up reassuring people. Ends up saying thank you for coming when what they want is for everyone to leave and also for no one to ever leave. This role reversal is so common and so rarely written and it is one of the most exhausting parts of early grief. Your character is drowning and spending energy making sure everyone else feels good about the life jacket they brought.

⋆˙⟡ The person who died keeps getting fixed in time while everyone else moves. This one is strange and i don't see it written enough. Your character ages. Changes. Has experiences. Develops opinions. And the person they lost stays exactly the same age they were, exactly the person they were, forever. Which means the gap between who your character is now and who the person was gets wider as time passes. You become someone they never knew. You have thoughts you can't tell them. You reach an age they never reached. Eventually you outlive them. You are older than they ever got to be. And the version of them in your memory is younger than you now. The relationship you carry continues to evolve even though only one of you is still here to evolve it. That is bizarre and sad and completely human and almost nobody writes it. WHY??? :///

⋆˙⟡ Sometimes grief makes people feel closer to the person they lost than they did when they were alive. This sounds counterintuitive but it is real. You finally understand them. You find the journals, the letters, the things people tell you at the funeral that you never knew. You have time to think about them with a clarity that the busy mess of being in relationship with a living person doesn't allow. You miss them in a way that is also a kind of intimacy. The relationship after death is one-sided and strange and ongoing and real. Some people feel the presence of the dead vividly for years. Some people talk to them. Some people make decisions based on what they think the person would have wanted. it's just the relationship continuing in the only form it still can. And it can be written seriously, without irony, without it being a sign that the character is unwell.

[daily-prompts]

The writer must have a good imagination to begin with, but the imagination has to be muscular, which means it must be exercised in a disciplined way, day in and day out, by writing, failing, succeeding and revising.

--Stephen King

[chazzynon]

The writer must have a good imagination to begin with, but the imagination has to be muscular, which means writing tall, large, muscular women in a disciplined way, day in and day out, by writing, failing, succeeding and revising.

—Stephen King

[chazzynon]

Dude. Writing fanfic about Shadow Link is the best bc I get to make him as pathetic, and self absorbed as he is in canon. Like that boy is the opposite of ooc. In fact, I think I make him more canon than the canon material. He’s such a pathetic, evil, sad boy. Like he spends the whole freaking manga talking about how ‘everyone should love him’ and ‘he’s better and more competent than everyone else’, but like. That just most of the teenage boys I’ve met. He’s just a 100% accurate to being the evil clone of Link. He’s just Link’s side effect of puberty. That’s the funniest, most entertaining thing for me to write. Like yes boy, give me hormonal mass murder.

Anyway I put him in a high school au (he’s still a murder but now he alcoholic too)

[chazzynon]

I found that I’m a slice of life kinda guy. Slice of family life. But the slice is on fire, and the cake is on fire, and the country is on fire. And the whole world is on fire because we’re in hell. Familial hell. And the only way we survive is by burning our loved ones.

[chazzynon]

I caved and ordered another key chain. My bank account is low again.

[chazzynon]

One week and five days to go.

[dreamspace3d]

Your pom squad au intrigued me, and I felt like drawing them. I offer this small contribution to the au.

Put those boys in skirts and crop tops. Let them dance >:)

OMG!! I LOVE THIS!!!!😍 Their poses are so CUTE!! 💖💖💖

Trust me, I have a whole playlist full of songs that I want them to dance to. I can't wait to animate it someday!!

[chazzynon]

Oh my gosh I would kill to see them do a dance together. Thank you, brave soul, for dipping your toes into the nightmare of animation 🫡

You’re an inspiration to us all.

[chazzynon]

Unearthed this beautiful wallpaper I made from deep in my files

[chazzynon]

Got another ref down for art fight. Feeling good 💪