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Welcome to Uta's blog population like 2.

helooo I'm Uta or several other names. I go by it/void and many other prns. check my prns.page >here< !!

read this very important thing written by my meowtual please, thanx :D

a lot more detailed info under the cutt ~

#shut up uta!#definitely not stolen!#uta time travels (again!)#uta; nobody needs to know this #uta hears voices part ???#uta pls shut up fr this time #(not) uta; [ANY-CHARACTER-NAME-HERE]#uta's sprites

i just logged back into tumblr wtf has happened am i considered missing

#shut up uta!

persianflaw

but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:

start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)

measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.

remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.

become consumed with despair.

decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.

remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit.

once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.

now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably.

take a minute to dwell upon your failings.

grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.

pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up.

melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.

put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.

remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)

CONSUME THE RICE.

realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen.

put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.

for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.

persianflaw

i really played myself with this post huh. every time it gets a note i start wanting rice.

persianflaw

for anyone who wants it, here is my family’s actual recipe for assyrian baked rice:

1lb / approx. 2 ⅓ cups basmati rice (any long-grain rice will do)

3 tbsp salt

8 tbsp / 1 stick butter (you can reduce this if you don’t want to have a heart attack)

Put the rice in a pot and cover it in cold water and salt. Let it soak overnight. (If you don’t have the time to soak it, rinse the rice with cold water until it runs clear.)

Edit: The reason you want to soak basmati and other aromatic rice before cooking is to preserve more acetylpyrroline, the compound that gives aromatic rice its characteristic scent and flavor. Soaking rice allows the grains to absorb water, which reduces the cooking time, which means less time for the acetylpyrroline to cook off. It’ll still taste pretty good if you can’t do this, but you don’t want “pretty good”, you want mind-blowing, so for that perfect flavor you’ll want to soak your rice overnight. The soaking process also washes away the layer of starch on the outside of the rice, which allows the grains to separate rather than sticking together; this is why you want to rinse your rice thoroughly if you don’t have time to soak it.

Preheat your oven to 325°.

Boil three quarts of water in a separate pot. Once it’s at a fast boil, drain the rice and add it to the water. Boil for 5-7min or until one grain tastes half-cooked, but not soft. Pour the rice into a colander and rinse with cold water.

Edit: This step also helps get rid of any remaining starch on your grains, for perfectly separated rice. If your colander or strainer has large holes, you can put a paper towel/cheesecloth/clean dishcloth on the inside in order to drain your rice. Pour carefully if you’re using a paper towel, though, and put a bowl underneath your colander; I once lost a heartbreaking amount of rice when my paper towel got oversaturated and tore open.

Liberally grease the bottom of your baking pan with some of your butter. Pour the rice on top. Melt the rest of the butter in the microwave and pour on top of the rice.

Bake for 45min. (If you like, cover the rice for part or all of the baking time, but I find it gets less crispy on top if you do this.) Shake the pan a couple times during baking to ensure that the butter distributes throughout the entire dish.

Eat.

Serves four. Can easily be scaled up if needed (or down, but why would you do that?). Best enjoyed with a nice cup of chai.

(cc @raisedbyhyenas )

enchantingruinscandy

reblog for the awesome recipe and to make op want rice (rice is so good. ofc you want rice)

spoonfulofhannah

Disabled people are not obligated to do everything that a non-disabled person can do. Stop treating us as though our bodies are the same. What you do normally can be detrimental and dangerous to us.

funnytwittertweets

reblogabyssvoidhole

constance-mcentee-deactivated20

IMAGE DESCRITPION: A tweet by Twitter user @RawBeanCoal reads, “hug other women slightly off center so our boobs fit together like puzzle pieces.”

This is followed by a series of replies and tags which read as follows…

#i hug them straight on so my boobs can establish dominance

#i prefer head on like a car crash. make the boobies kiss

we could be doing this with balls, no homo even

#i’m usually taller so I press mine above and get a tiddie shelf

My wife calls it “Titris”

it’s called titrus thanks

#titrus

villainessbian

RESTORING LOST MEDIA

tom-is-online

Saying Kashika being a Christmas event gives the same vibes as saying Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

smoqueen-deactivated20251108

crazy-brazilian

oracularcult

laga dyga is an evil hag and she is going to Get you

lizawithazed

It took me way too long to figure out what it’s trying to say. I was just willing to accept “laga dyga” at face value.

prince-atom

Can’t read my, can’t read my pofa kerce

thebelchers

lydiadotnet-deactivated20190404

tumblr is the only social media site where it’s completely useless to have a lot of followers

lydiadotnet-deactivated20190404

lilyofthepraire

God bless whoever wrote that comment

verycooltrash-deactivated201907

krudman

I have never watched a mr beast video and every time I see his face doing that weird dead smile he does in every thumbnail, it just looks like that one photo of charlie from always sunny to me

time-traveling-fetus

ottisbuns

bnprime

i don’t understand, are they supposed to get nicer or just less bruised up?

katelyn-danger

<- cocaine / alcohol->

spookydetective

hot damn i wish i could put together proper and supportive sentences to my mutuals who are struggling because the like button is really not cutting it here

spookydetective

it feels like this

louferrignojrofficial

what’s happening with santa

nealsbian

i'm making a collection

mlarayoukai-archive

But my friends call me white boy

project-sekai-archives

There's no way Minori owns Her own merch from HER Group 😭

cryptotheism

Its fun seeing people interact with my eClown friends for the first time. Like you're laughing but that's just how they talk. The jokes haven't even started yet.

I have built up a tolerance to my friends. Their presence is unremarkable to me. This is known as "love"

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