๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐ฎ: your best friend since childhood has a friend who seems to take a liking to you and heโs not quite subtle about it.
๐๐๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐๐ง๐จ: swearing, mentions of kissing, fem!reader, bsf!martin, reader is mean-ish???idk not Really.just kind of dismissive. fast paced, end slide is sort of an epilogue Ok yay!, also slight mentions of death
a/n: Haiii i been gone Butโฆ.theres a lot happening LMAO i might not post often soโ๏ธ
๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐ฎ: you start annoying a random guy who popped on your feed. where will it take you?
๐๐๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐๐ง๐จ: swearing, fem!reader, seonghyeon is called sean like Throughoit the whole thing. sean is lowk irritated the whole time LMAOO, really bad humor im so sorry., reader highkey mean but itโs like her love language Ok, RUSHED ENDING IM SO SORRY. IGNORE TIMESTAMPS.its supposed to happen throughout like 3 weeks๐ญ
a/n: ummm Umm ok iโll get back to words behind screens but i needed a small break๐ญ๐ญ
edit:i forgot divider credsSO SORRY!!! doll-fairy made the divider!:3
๐๐๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐๐ง๐จ: mentions of throwing up..Like a lot๐ญ, panic, cringe, bad pacing, ooc(?) jongseob, intentional lowercase, misuse of punctuation probably. umm lmk if thereโs More!
๐ฌ๐: 2.8k
the cafe smells of espresso. the warm air envelopes you, contradicting the coldness from the seat underneath you. the sounds of the espresso machine and people talking around you provided some sort of comfort knowing the conversation you were here for was going to be anything but comforting.
you check your phone for the nth time.
12:30. itโs only been thirty minutes since you got here. thirty more minutes to give yourself time to prepare, thirty more minutes to control the overwhelming sickness you feel anytime you even dare to think about jongseob.
you put your hands in your lap, messing with your nails just to give yourself something to do. everything sounds a little louder than usual, laughter to your right fading out as you stare out the window.
thirty minutes wasnโt nearly enough time to prepare yourself. the sound of the bell chiming snapped you out of your daze. you glanced over, which you instantly regret.
the sight of jongseob alone was enough to make your throat close. all sorts of emotions washed over you and shoved themselves right under your ribs. you wanted to run, to tell him you canโt do this today, but you knew that wasnโt fair.
seeing his searching eyes, you use all of your effort to wave him over. when his eyes finally land on you, you shrink. your hand lowers and your throat only tightens, causing your breath to hitch.
by the time he makes it over to you, you already feel like a mess. your leg bounces under the table while you run a shaky hand through your hair just to do something.
โhey,โ he takes a seat in front of you, putting his hands in his lap.
you almost donโt process it. you blink a few times to bring yourself back to the moment, fighting back the lump in your throat.
โhi,โ you somehow manage back.
โare you gonna order anything?โ he asks as if everything is normal, as if you donโt feel sick to your stomach.
you only shake your head. you donโt think youโll be able to consume anything without throwing up. he nods, โokay, iโll be back.โ
he stands up without another word, gently fixing his shirt while he walks off to go order. you let out a shaky breath of relief, yet your nerves donโt ease.
your mind was anything but calm, the constant question of what he was going to ask and the thought of answering made the pit in your stomach grow larger. you try to take a deep breath in to calm yourself, but it only makes your heart beat faster.
when he sits back down you couldโve sworn you felt bile rise in your throat. he sets his coffee on the table, clearing his throat.
โAre you going toโฆ tell me?โ he finally asks, dread planting itself right in your chest.
โtell you?โ you echo, your voice straining around the part in your throat that screamed at you to stop talking.
his jaw clenched, โwhy you randomly decided to stop speaking to me.โ it was blunt, you could practically feel his underlying betrayal and it made you feel all the more guiltier.
you opened your mouth to give an answer but no words came out. it felt almost impossible, so you closed your mouth. your gaze fell onto your lap as you tried to build up the strength to answer him. the way he waited patiently made everything feel worse. itโd be better if he raised his voice, called you a name, or just leave and never deal with you again.
โIโฆโ you started, closing your eyes to give yourself a moment. you look up at him and swallow your nerves. โI was scared.โ you admit quietly before you can back out.
he stares for a second. you could see where he wanted to immediately ask why, but you could also see where he was starting to understand you need time.
he nods like he understood the whole time. like he just needed verification. โwhy were you scared?โ
your leg bounces faster. โum,โ a pause, your gaze averts. โiโโ you try again only to fail, a pathetic laugh falling from your lips. โsorry, iโm not good at this.โ your voice wavers.
he doesnโt respond. his eyes stay on you, waiting for you to be ready. your eyes meet once more, your heart feeling as if itโs going to jump out of your chest.
โi donโt know how to answer.โ you eventually say. it wasnโt a lie, your brain was like scrabble and you didnโt know how to piece together a response that made sense.
a small sigh leaves his mouth, nodding again. โokay,โ he grabs his neglected coffee, taking the first sip since the conversation started.
you hated how easy he was being. how he simply sat there and waited, acting like he wasnโt bothered when you could tell he was. you wished so badly you could tell him everything, but it was like your throat filtered everything you should be saying and instead saying basically nothing.
โdid i do something?โ he asked after a moment of silence, his fingers rubbing the condensation on the plastic cup of his coffee.
you shook your head before you could stop it. โnotโฆ technically.โ you said slowly, unsure of your own answer.
โwas the flirting too much?โ his voice was tense, his body language visibly becoming more awkward.
you almost wanted to laugh. you wouldโve, if you didnโt feel like one wrong move would make you wretch. you opted to just shaking your head.
โwell..โ you trail off, your words betraying you as you became more self aware. the knowledge that you would have to practically confess weighed you down. you shake your head again, โkind of. not really. a little.โ
he tilts his head, โwhich is it?โ
you ignore his question, โi havent really beenโฆ romantically involved in a long time.. for certain reasons.โ you pause, sensing his overwhelming attention on you. you felt exposed, too vulnerable. you shrink in on yourself. โit just scared me.โ you finish shakily. you knew your answer was vague but all you could do was hope he understood enough.
he nods slowly again like heโs processing. it seemed like all he could do was nod. usually youโd appreciate it, but you were itching for a response, your throat tightening the more the silence draws out.
โare you going to say something?โ you place your hand on your knee in attempt to control it from bouncing.
his eyes avert to the window, like heโs in deep thought before returning his attention towards you. โi want to understand. iโm trying to, but it hurt to for you to just leave like that.โ
your heart sinks. you knew your actions had consequences, but the last thing you wanted to do was hurt him. all your brain had been thinking about was protecting yourself instead of fully understanding how much this could hurt him as well.
โiโm sorry,โ your voice was barely a whisper. you couldnโt find it in yourself to say anything else, your lungs feeling as if they were failing to give you enough oxygen.
you look away, taking a deep breath in hopes to feel steady again. embarrassment burned your cheeks. knowing he was seeing you like this made the nausea wash over you all over again.
โi just want to understand why.โ
โstop.โ
he paused, a puzzled expression on his face, โwhat?โ
you clear your throat, forcing yourself to push past the overwhelming panic you felt.
โjust stop.โ
you could hear him scoff, โstop? thatโs unfair, youโre the one who wanted to talk it out.โ
โi just need a moment.โ
he went quiet. he mustโve heard the way your voice wavered, or saw the way you anxiously fidgeted with your rings.
the next minute went by in silence. the only sounds were from other peopleโs chattering or the occasional sip jongseob took from his coffee.
you gathered your thoughts as best as you could, your heart still slamming in your chest but not hard enough to feel like itโll jump out of your chest anymore.
โiโm sorry. talking isnโt exactly my thing.โ you look back over to him to see him already looking. yet he doesnโt speak, sitting there with infuriating patience although you could tell just how much he wanted to say more.
you swallow thickly. the faster you tell him, the faster thisโll be over. that enough should give you the courage but every time you go to explain yourself, your words shove themselves back down, unable to reach the surface.
โi think i was just scared youโd leave.โ your own admission throws yourself off guard.
the silence stretches for a moment too long before he realizes he needs to say something, his face unable to conceal his shock.
โme?.. leave?โ he says slowly, unsure.
you shift in your seat, licking your lips to stall even for a second. โiโฆโ you trail off, huffing in annoyance at your inability to speak. โi have thisโฆ thing.โ
โ..โthingโ?โ he repeats, lifting an eyebrow.
you frown, rubbing your hands on your jeans. โyes,โ you nod, โthis thing, where.. um,โ
โi think i expect people to leave if they get too close.โ your voice was quiet, cracking slightly near the end.
something in jongseobโs expression changed. it was subtle, just a quiet realization. โoh,โ
you quickly spoke again before he could say much else, โi know it doesnโt excuse anything, iโm sorry.โ your attention dropped to nothing in specific, afraid to be face to face with his reaction.
the silence stretched far too long for your liking.
โ..i get it.โ he spoke quietly. your gaze drifted back to him, hope igniting in you.
โi was upset, but i think i understand a little more now.โ relief flooded through you.
you couldnโt help but stare, almost in disbelief that this wasnโt going south. you had this nightmare vision of how it was going to happen, but it never came. it felt like weight lifted off your chest.
โdonโt do it again, okay?โ his face didnโt give away anything but you knew him well enough. you could tell he was worried about it.
your chest felt like it caved in. โi wonโt,โ
he nodded, giving you a small smile.
the next few minutes went by lighter. it was still slow, like something still wasnโt clicked shut exactly right. but it was easier and your stomach no longer turned.
then it happened. the moment you dreaded.
โcan i ask something else?โ the question was simple yet it felt anything but, you could tell how much weight it carried by the way he said it so carefully.
you forced out a small โyes,โ while your heart sped up unwillingly.
his smile turned awkward, clicking his tongue the way he always did when he didnโt know how to put things into words. it made you all the more nervous.
โwhy didโฆโ he paused to look away momentarily, โwhy did you flirt back?โ
you instantly tensed. you sat up a little straighter, trying to play it off with a cough that was obviously fake.
you had to mentally prepare yourself. โisnโt itโฆ obvious?โ your face flushed before you could stop it.
it seemed like you werenโt the only one. the flush on his cheeks were just as visible, an awkward look on his face.
he let out a hum. you both were at a loss for words. it was clear you both had things to say but it was also clear you both didnโt know how exactly to say them.
โare you going to say anything?โ the lack of response was killing you. you already were prepared for rejection even though you didnโt outright tell him your feelings, but you thought by now heโd know.
his lips curved into a smile, โitโs a little obvious.โ his tone was teasing and your heart did an embarrassing tumble that you donโt want to acknowledge.
your face became redder if thatโs even possible. you gently kicked his leg underneath the table, โshut up,โ
he laughed. the sound was familiar and you suddenly didnโt feel sick to your stomach anymore. you felt.. embarrassed, yes. but safer. you let out a small laugh of your own.
the conversation flowed more easily after that. and time did too, apparently. the next thing you knew, the sun was slowly setting and the cafe was much emptier.
you both made your way out of the cafe before you could be kicked out, thanking the baristas on the way out.
the cool air breezed through your hair when you stepped out, jongseob not too far behind you. when he caught up to you so did the silence. it wasnโt a bad silence, it was sort of comforting in a way.
knowing things have been resolved made everything feel lighter and even made the world seem a little brighter than before.
he was the first to break the silence.
โsoโฆโ
you glanced over at him. he was staring straight ahead, his hands in his pockets and the tip of his ears were pink. from the weather or what he was going to say, you didnโt know.
โyouโre painfully awkward.โ you couldnโt help but tease.
his head snapped towards you. โwhat? like youโre any better?โ his face twisted in offense.
โokayโฆ whatever, man.โ you feigned indifference but cracked when he gently nudged you, breaking out into a smile.
you continued to walk side by side, occasionally talking here and there. you werenโt exactly sure when he stopped walking, but you stopped instantly when you noticed.
you looked over your shoulder, seeing jongseob not too far behind.
โseob?โ you turned around fully to see him looking at his phone. you stepped closer until you were in front of him.
your gaze flickered between his phone and his face. โeverything okay?โ your eyebrows furrowed with concern.
he quickly looked up to meet your eyes. he nodded. โoh, yeah.โ he paused to put his phone back in his pocket. โmy train will be here soon.โ you could sense his hesitation.
โah, i can walk you to the station.โ
he shook his head, โitโs okay,โ
another beat of silence. he hesitated again. he tried to keep his face blank, but you knew him well enough to know he wanted to say something.
โjust say it,โ
โhuh?โ
โsay it,โ
he blinked. you blinked.
โdude, youโre actually killing me here.โ
he let out a soft laugh. the kind that made your heart warm without warning.
โwas i obvious too?โ he asked after what felt like forever. your heart seemed to know what he was talking about before your brain did because it did an annoying flip.
โobvious aboutโฆ what?..โ
he shut his eyes for a split second then looked at you with a look that screamed โare you serious?โ
โโฆmy feelings.โ he spoke quietly but the words rang loud in your ears. you could feel your face get hot all over again, the colder air biting at them.
โyeah, you were not obvious at all.โ you say just to make the feeling in your chest lighter.
โoh,โ
โsorry to burst your bubble.โ
he huffed, looking slightly irritated. he looked off into the distance before bringing his full attention back to you.
โcan you stop joking for a moment?โ
his tone surprised you, but you nodded. you cleared your throat to gain your bearings and stood up a little straighter.
โdo you like me?โ
his question made your legs wobble for a second. you already felt like you had opened your chest and showed him your most vulnerable, which you really didnโt want to think about right now. but now he asked this of all things.
you swallowed through the nerves you suddenly felt, your fingers trembling slightly.
โyeah,โ you managed to say.
he nodded, his face turning a darker shade of pink. โwe can.. go slow, you know?โ
your mouth moved without permission, giving him a soft smile. your brain felt like mush and none of the words you wanted to say felt right. you didnโt even know if you could say anything.
โi would like that.โ
his smile mirrored yours. the fond look on his face was enough to make you want to melt on the spot, and all you could think about was how crazy you were for ghosting him at all.
โme too,โ
you wanted to say something more but everything was so perfect you didnโt want to change it. so you grinned and nodded towards the direction of the train station.
โdonโt miss your train.โ
his eyes widen as if he just remembered.
โoh shoot,โ
you laughed and gently nudged him with your hand. he smiled.
โtext me when you get home, okay?โ his voice came out rushed and he was slowly turning away.
you nodded. โi will,โ
with that, he turned and jogged across the street. only then were you allowed to breathe. too much happened in what felt like such little time. you felt giddy and sick all at the same time, it was a weird feeling.
but you couldnโt help the smile that bloomed on your face as you watched him walk away.
a/n: so.IM RLLY FRICKEN NERVOUSOK SO i know my pacing is straight Cheeks ๐ญ.and I feel So bad for making u guys wait for.THIS which is like absolutely nothing but yeahโน๏ธโน๏ธthis is The best i can dofor now but iโll def work on My writing for future works!!
GUYS!!!๐ญ๐ญ๐๐๐itโs Only been 2months since i started posting.This is INSANE i love all of you SO MUCH๐ฅน.200 special soon?โฆ.๐๐What would u guys like to see???
omgGuys๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ thanx so much For 100 reblogs& 150+ followers what the HECK๐ณ. iโm so beyond Grateful i never thought my blog would get this Much attention๐ญ๐ญโน๏ธ
๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐ฎ: texts with your roommate who just might be spider-man.
๐๐๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐๐ง๐จ: swearing, story is set in NY, wrong timestamps on a certain slide, supposed to be kind of funny, use of yn, sort of rushed
โนโหโง๏ธตโฟโเญจแฐเญงโโฟ๏ธตโงหโโน
a/n: i know all iโve posted is p1h but i love cortis too..Can anyone hear Me?..
a/n: sorry this is short next part will be a continuation.I just wanted to kind of get something out there
@lilyhaslowiron @maffyy @seonghwaswifeuuuu @aalyluvz @pxronbeat1 @snghynn @willowedjelly @halluci-nati0n @seobpaya @hoe4yunhoooo @urmomsfavlesb @sullyswife @chwerinni @ozzysoatsolivesandpasta (some tags won work or if u changed ur user lmk๐ )
๐จ๐ช๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐ฎ: what happens when a youtuber gives a fan a chance??
๐๐๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐๐ง๐จ: swearing, suggestive jokes, fluff, cringe, fem!reader, use of yn, kind of rushed, BSF!keonho, friend!iroha, friend!juhoon, kms jokes, misspelling, pure smau, ok yea lmk if i missed anything
โนโหโง๏ธตโฟโเญจแฐเญงโโฟ๏ธตโงหโโน
a/n: ok this is for my friend Luv u.Divider creds go to pixopix!!
SUMMARY: Giving a chance to the very loyal commenter in your twitter replies!!
DISCLAIMERS: just smau, all fluffy, all pictures are from pinterest and are not mine!!!!!! thank u enjoy
๐ mikaโs message i love cutie sweet soul yaayayay had to whip smth up that wasnโt smut bc thatโs deadaajhhh all iโve been writing like a FLITHY SLAG. Srry anyways email me ok?
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
ellievsbear
2087
tangentwithtanner
