— EDWARDS MARTIN, HEART IS YOURS, DESPITE THE BLUES.
TAGS: idol!martin x nonidol!reader | ennemies to bestfriends to lovers | slowburn | pure angst | lots of humor! | reader is bsf with Cortis! | fluff | kissing, cuddling, crying in each others arms!DOWNBAD!Martin!
IN WHICH... Blackmailing a K-pop idol was never part of the plan. Neither was spending weeks hanging around his studio, arguing over sneakers, or accidentally becoming friends with his members. It was supposed to be simple: keep his secret, admire his sneaker collection, steal a tiny comeback spoiler, and leave.
Alas, Y/N finds herself caught between Martin and the secrets he refuses to share. As their friendship deepens, so do the cracks beneath the surface-late-night arguments, quieter confessions, and feelings that absolutely weren't part of the deal progressively mish-mash their bond. They might definitely just be in way over their heads...
— This chapter’s long yall, trust me, studio scene is done by the end of it hihi but I hope yall liked it :) BEST FRIENDS ARC IS COMING
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They'd stood in silence for another ten to twenty minutes. Martin still processing all the information he'd gave and he'd received. Y/N still trying to understand how she'd managed to confess this much personal data to the guy she despised the most since a few days, that is, the Martin Edwards himself.
She still didn't really know how she'd ended up in his studio, to be honest. Considering how unrealistic this whole situation was, she might as well collect as much interesting fact as she could.
For example, what did idols do in their free time?
Did they date? Did they share meals with their friends? Were they allowed to?
Still, she didn't want to sound like someone who only saw idols as idols, and not beyond. Which is why, she'd never ask these questions out loud.
And, that was to say, she knew Martin wasn't only an idol, for it also occurred he was a genuine piece of crap in her opinion.
Well, it was debatable. Their last conversation had ended on strange good terms for once, and she hadn't much realized how good it felt. Not that it felt incredible, it just seemed more positive than usual.
He hadn't insulted her like he'd done it the day before. He'd listened thoroughly to her stories, while occasionally glimpsing a few provocative remarks, but they were never too harsh or destined to hurt.
She thought, for the slightest second, that maybe he could even be just a dude. Not a self-obsessed tall blonde whose only personality trait was being obnoxious with her whenever he could and acting surprisingly giggly whenever she'd leave the room.
For even the slightest second, she even fathomed the fact that people actually enjoyed his presence. Some guy out there on the street, was maybe his best friend, who knows.
“And you, you have a best friend?” She asked instantly after the thought.
She adjusted her position to face him more properly, as he turned slowly on his chair.
“What, a best friend that I miss?” He asked at his turn, not understanding where the question was going.
He thought for a second as his hand found his cheek and his eyes lifted to the ceiling in genuine reflection.
“I have friends. Really good friends. But not a BEST friend, apart from the best friends I see everyday.” He admitted while shrugging.
“So CORTIS members are your best friends?”
“I mean, they’re more family. But… Like, Juhoon and Seonghyeon especially, yeah. They’re the closest I’ve ever been to anyone.” He declared and looked back at her. “Cause like, Juhoon’s the same age as me, and I’ve known Seonghyeon since like forever. We even planned to be in a group together back in the day.” He looked at the ceiling again while thinking. “Yeah…They’re my comfort, I guess.”
“But do you not have a Nymphéa?”
“What do you mean, Nymphéa?”
“Like, a soulmate. Like me and my best friend, Nymphéa.”
“Because you have difficulties to make friends?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that. It’s quite the opposite.” He chuckled with embarrassment. “It’s just like… When you’re buddies with everyone because you’re social and stuff, you’re not really anybody’s first choice, you know?”
It’s true that she’d heard, from her acquaintance and mainly from social media, that he was known to be an extremely social person. Although she initially only saw perks to this skill, she couldn’t imagine it to be this frustrating.
Not that she’d felt empathetic or something.
It just felt real to hear.
“Anyway…” He rolled his eyes from the ceiling to the other side of his desk, still facing her. “Do you… Like Korea so far?”
“Hmm. Let me think about that.” She placed her hand on her chin and looked up at the ceiling at her turn.
“Hm.” He stared intently at her, with a focused expression, while leaning slightly forward so he’d be closer.
Maybe it was just a reflex, he didn’t know, he didn’t mind. In the moment, he just thought about getting closer without her really noticing.
“I mean…” She started after a silence. “Apart from your presence, your face, your voice and just you in general—
“I’d say it’s not that bad…”
“What do you like about it?”
“I don’t know… I like the people, they’re all so polite. Like, your members for example, they’re so nice and friendly, and I’d never really experience such politeness in other countries.”
“Really? I thought it was normal.”
“I mean, yeah. It’s normal, yeah. It’s just, not that much. Here in Korea, everything feels…” She searched for her words for a second. “Very disciplined.”
“I didn’t see it like that.”
“Well, obviously, you’re Korean. It’s just how you live since you’re born—
“Okay— First of all, I’m Canadian.”
“Canadian, my ass. You’ve lived there what, five years? And it’s just clear you’ve been educated in the Korean standards, otherwise you’d get what I mean.”
“Okay, it was two years.”
“Right!” She laughed softly and slowly pulled her hair out of her face, while looking at him blankly in the eye. “No but, for real. When I go in the street in Korea… Like in the morning, or when there’s not a rush…”
“The people… It’s like they’re all— Like, devoting themselves to like… The absolute perfection of whatever they pursue, you know? This is what I mean by disciplined.”
At that, he looked at her without any hesitation and stepped even closer, their faces now close enough she could feel the warmth coming from his body.
Not that she could lean in and touch him, she was way too far away, but his presence still felt much more remarkable.
He had those eyes that could make a whole crowd swoon, that was the word. It had a tiny glimmer in them, small enough to tell you he’d already had a bigger one, but large enough to remind you that he was still unbearably, humanly fresh and full of youth. He’d taken off his makeup during the van drive earlier, and she could now see the creases under his eyes. Wether it was from fatigue or passion, she didn’t really know, but it felt somewhat intimate, to be able to see them and him not hiding them to her.
He had those full lips you just wanted to bite at first sight. Pink, plump, and ready to be popped by whatever stick was there. She was sure, that if she pressed any spiky item to them, some strawberry jelly, or any other beautiful and appetizing liquid would come out of them for some reason.
And she immediately closed her eyes and let the thought of his lips slip away, as soon as she started thinking of switching from a stick to her own lips.
She didn’t like how this was going.
“That sounded…” He said after a few seconds, his eyes still glued to hers in this strange interaction. “Strangely poetic.”
“Pff. Yeah, only for someone who writes about covering their freaking butt.” She glared at him while twitting. “But Shakespeare wouldn’t be impressed, ma boy.” She smiled and laughed so inelegantly that he’d swear he’d seen her pretending to throw up.
“Okay, whatever. You should write something one day. And show it to me.”
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, you have no talent—”
“You literally just admitted that I did.”
“Fuck, that’s NOT what I meant.” He pointed his finger at her to raise authority. “I’m just thinking… It’d be cool if you listened to like… My song, and just gave me some feedback, since you just said something that could fit into lyrics—”
“I won’t listen to a song with my voice in it, Martin. It’s embarrassing.”
“But it’s not you singing. So it doesn’t matter.”
“It matters, because I didn’t even WANT to be in this song. And you recorded me without my approval.”
“The song just needed it, Y/N. Just listen to it and you’ll know, then you can shade me all you want.”
She sighed deeply and crossed her arms over her chest, adjusting her position.
She was really pissed off.
Firstly, because she’d obviously never approved of putting her own voice onto that song. It wasn’t hers, and it was her enemies’, let alone.
Secondly, because she just had one of the greatest conversations, aside from the ones she’d shared with her best friends, with Martin Edwards, and she didn’t really like the simple thought of her, actually enjoying it.
Because she did, in fact, very much enjoy it, while it wasn’t over.
She had to end it if she didn’t want to just jump on him at the end of the hour, that is to say.
Because here was the thing, it was truly unusual for a pretty fucked up girl like her, to hang out with this random eighteen year old boy who, strangely enough, appeared to have thousands of dollars in his bank account and a handful of girls at his disposition, completely alone, for hours, in the smallest and darkest room to ever exist.
“Okay, you know what.” She pressed her fingers to her temples to erase the thought. “I’ll listen to it.”
“YES!!” He stood up so fast she almost jolted from the couch, with the a giant grin across his face.
“But just so you know, I’m doing this so you can shut the hell up afterwards—”
“OH, TRUST! YOU WON’T BE DISAPPOINTED!” And he immediately sat right next to her.
The gesture was brisk, and way too brief for him to land on the couch properly. Obviously, he was so excited that he had to jump right on her left thigh without even noticing.
Well, he did, for she made pretty much of the most shriek sound to ever been shouted.
“AOUCH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU DUMBASS!” She screamed in pain, and he immediately laughed as he adjusted his position. “GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!” She pushed his whole body with her hands, to the far end of the couch.
Now, only their shoulders were occasionally bumping each other, but they didn’t mind much. She’d just brushed her lap several times after the fall, because, well, it’s not every day that a two meters monster jumps on you by accident.
“Pff. Just show me the song and then go back to your synthesizer or something.”
He immediately opened the Mac on his lap.
His lock-screen wallpaper was a picture of him and James, and she’d genuinely never seen such a compromising image.
For some reason she didn’t know, Martin was sprawled against some toilets, face right in the hole, looking greenish and genuinely sick. He looked ridiculous, she thought, but it genuinely felt like he was funnily miserable.
Right above him was James, holding his friends’ long, blond hair, maybe to avoid vomit from getting into his hair, who knows. It really looked like he was throwing up, but she really wasn’t sure. James looked very angry, like an old dad scolding his son, and his mouth was opened, so Y/N assumed he was screaming at him when the picture was taken.
A simple thumb-up was on the left of the picture, and she didn’t know whose it was, surely the photographer.
“Okay, what IS the context of this picture?” She asked while laughing.
He joined her laugh with such comfortability it almost felt staged.
“Don’t know. Keonho just sent it to me the other day, thought it looked aesthetic.”
“What, for weight loss motivational accounts? Dude, this is fucking weird.”
“Bruh, what the fuck. No.” He simply responded and brushed the topic off by stating a simple “Nevermind.”
He briefly typed his password — something starting with -T and ending with -I, though she didn’t see the other letters and honestly couldn’t give less of a shit. His home-screen immediately popped up on the screen, filled with window files that looked like unzipped cardboards.
The home-screen wallpaper was just a picture of a broken guitare on the ground. It was shattered into pieces, and its whole structure looked like a literal corpse.
“Oh wow.” She laughed at the horror. “Damn, must’ve been the wind or something.”
“Yeah, I was like walking in the dorm…”
“And I was really tired, Y’know, those six AM wake times, it’s just really not good for the attention.” He continued, speaking with his hands. “And I stumbled upon something… At first I was like “OH!”. I thought it was some pocky thing or something—”
“Bro, I never asked and I never cared.” She rolled her eyes.
“C’mon, I’m tryna be nice here, just let me finish my story.” He stated very calmly, with a solemn tone as if he was a political figure. “Anyway, I look at the floor, at first I don’t see much, right. I’m tired as hell. Of course. So I’m like “this is probably Keonho’s cow toy.”
“Okay, this is getting interesting.” She laughs at the appellation.
“No, but, we do have a cow toy. It’s like white and red, we bought it at Amoeba in LA, it’s just super cool—”
“Martin, just go on and show me your song.”
“Yeah. And so, then… I’m like “okay, this is actually my dad’s guitar”. Like the family one.”
“Ow. Dang.” She responds, looking uninterested but definitely glimpsing a glance at his expression when she can.
“So I just cry. I mean, no. I didn’t cry. I just like shrieked. Like my body went like “OUH!”, and I had like chills and all, it was wild, even Juhoon called out on me and just told me to eat, but I didn’t wanna.” He kept going, his expression changing according to the variations of tone he used with his voice. “Of course you don’t wanna do anything, when you’ve just broken the childhood guitar you’ve spent your life with, right? So what happened, is that I called my dad—”
“MARTIN! Do you actually wanna make me listen to this song, or NOT?” She burst out, taking her hands of her palm and looking directly in the eyes beside her.
“What, you’re not interested in my story?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows, looking provocative.
“No, I’m not. As you can see.”
“Pff, you’re hella boring, that’s what I think.”
“I think YOU’D be less boring if you stopped adding unnecessary content to the story! Dude, when did you even become so talkative in the span of…” She checked her phone to look at the time. “Like what? Twenty minutes? That’s a holy switch up.”
“Yeah, well, sorry I’m just tryna be nice, when you’re this boring, and negative, and prett—”
“Okay, okay. You’ll tell me about the guitar later. Just show me the song and then I like… Fall asleep until the others come pick us up, or something.” She rolled her eyes, deeply bored.
Since when was he so yappy with her, she thought? Not that she didn’t like it, that wasn’t the word.
She just wanted to sleep, and to not be bothered by his presence, or his confusing behavior, or his constant lack of comprehension, or his endless questions, or even his beautiful smile. As she’d said before, she was tired of this interaction.
“Pff. Okay.” And on these words, he’d opened one of the window files, leading to some producing project on an app she didn’t know the name of.
He immediately began the clip, muttered a quiet “let’s go” before the melody started playing.
And so there they were, listening to this draft for the first time, both sprawled on the couch, shoulders bumping against each other, expressions blank and totally not pretending they could feel.
The melody started slow, almost dangerous. Two voices were overlapped, and Y/N immediately recognized her own voice.
"I'VE been disrespectful? God, you really are SUCH a piece of shit, aren't you? For you to be so ahead of yourself and ignorant about how shitty of a person you really are, there has to be SOMETHING!" It screamed over the music.
"SOMETHING? You mean having to face your parasocial ass, yeah. There is something." Martin responded with a calm, yet provocative voice.
"Parasocial? Are you serious right now? Is this still about the alleyway? Really?"
"Well, EVERYTHING is annoying about you TOO!" A final shout was heard.
Then the argument faded into the music, and the whole atmosphere shifted.
The new melody felt almost futuristic, with these strange, airy sounds that made it feel like you were somewhere far away from Earth. There was something very cosmic about it—soft and distant in some parts, then suddenly fuller and brighter when the beat came in. It had this slightly surreal quality, like the song belonged in a city glowing with neon lights or somewhere out in the middle of space.
And then the chorus started. It felt catchy without being predictable, the kind of melody that gets stuck in your head, enough to be played in concerts’ first parts, but not enough to bother on the car radio. There was something oddly satisfying about it too. It felt familiar for half a second, and then turned into some mish-mash, real CORTIS worthy.
When the song finally ended, the music slowly loses its momentum, letting the last few notes hang in the air before they disappeared. There was no gigantic final beat or dramatic finish, it just gradually faded into silence, leaving Martin and Y/N in pure silence. For a second, it felt like the melody was still there somewhere, lingering in the background even though the app had already gone quiet.
Martin turned his head towards Y/N beside him, and bit in his lower lip.
She slowly reached his gaze, her mind trying to process what she’d just listened to. It had been such a difficult experience to describe, but what she knew is that it was delighting.
It was the perfect amount of softness in a song, mixed with the perfect amount of spirit that made CORTIS who they were. It was perfect, that was the word.
“It’s…” She searched for her words, as he brought his nails to his lips and bit them with strength and focus.
She couldn’t even word it. It had brought her to another dimension, where every sound faded. She couldn’t just call it a void.
“It’s…” She tried again, still trying to find the right word to fit.
“Yes— A lot.” She immediately responded, thanking him in silence for guiding her into her response.
He smiled deeply, as he avoided her gaze, and closed his music app.
“So now, do you approve of your voice in the song?” He asked quietly, almost tip toeing on his own voice.
Obviously, she did. But she still had questions.
“What’s the song for? Are you gonna like… Dowload it on Soundclound, or did you just do it for fun?
“No—No. It’s for the next album.” He declared blankly.
“WHAT?” She jolted. “I didn’t know it’d be this serious?!”
“Yeah, well, you heard the song. It’s a masterpiece, I might as well put it in the EP.”
“But, when’s the EP coming out? Is it that soon?” She asked curiously, wondering how much work he’d have to do if it was this fast.
“Yeah, like… Probably around November or December, something like that.” He shrugged.
“THIS soon? Aren’t you scheduled for the entire year already?”
“Yeah, well. It is what it is.” He kissed his teeth while opening another window file, this time filled with Korean characters she didn’t know how to read. “I just work in between schedules, or late at night in the studio.”
“What, so you just like, never sleep?” She laughed bitterly.
“Nah, I manage to close my eyes between the performances. For like, ten minutes each time. It’s pretty efficient.”
“Okay, wow. Respectfully, I’d never wanna have your life, Martin.”
“Hm. But you know what’s funny?” And he interrupted himself with a giggle. “Like…” He laughed again. “Now, whenever I sleep, I have those like, word signals, and I instantly wake up again!”
“Like… When I hear “MARTIN!!”, or like “standby”, even the other members’ names, it’s always like a code and my eyes open on the spot.” He chuckled and his eyes crinkled.
“But aren’t you tired?” She asked, a bit concerned.
“I don’t really have the time to be tired.” He responded with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Anyway, I should totally put this song in the EP, right?” He brushed the topic off, and kept going with the initial conversation.
“I don’t know…” She said.
“Why? Bro, you said you liked it—”
“Yeah, but like… Isn’t it weird to have a girl’s voice in the beginning of your song?” She asked with furrowed eyebrows. “I mean… No, it’s not weird, but you guys are CORTIS.”
“Y’know, we’ve actually talked about this with my manager.”
“Yeah. Like… Since the whole vibe of CORTIS is like, to not talk about girls and stuff…” He lifted his eyes to the ceiling as he spoke. “He thought, and… I mean he wasn’t wrong though… Like, people are gonna make it weird, Y’know. Cause it’s not our usual path.”
“And so… Like, they’d make rumors and stuff, because we’ve never talked about it and now suddenly, there’s a girl…”
“Right, we’re saying the same thing.”
“But at the same time the song is just so lit. You’ve heard it.” He declared after putting both of his hands in one another.
“I know, it’s really good, but really… I don’t know if it’d be well received, considering what you just said…”
“Yeah, yeah. But like… I’m thinking, maybe we can like… Invent a story or something.” He chuckled softly.
“What do you mean, invent a story?”
“Like, I don’t know, we were recording some staff arguing and we thought it was a vibe for the song. And that’s why there’s a female voice.”
“Right. But your voice is recognizable. And it’s in the dialogue.”
“Yeah… Like raspy as shit, and soft…” She started, then automatically corrected herself. “And annoying as fuck, if you’d ask me.”
“Anyway, I guess a story could work. But then you’d have to add like a whole storyline, and like… Make sure to know how to like, answer questions properly if you’re with a provocative interviewer or something…”
“But anyway, the song’s great.” She declared in a rush, almost embarrassed to say it. “Even if your voice is in it, lowkey…” She looked at the ceiling, trying to sound as natural as possible, while it was clear she looked embarrassed to almost-compliment him.
“Hm…” He nodded, trying not to smile as much as he could, and failing miserably, though she hopefully didn’t see it.
“When are you planning to release it? Will it be with the album or like… Before?” She asked. “Like… Are you gonna do like a Youngkeukeu type song, where you just launch it on a random day?”
“Ahh…” He pressed his chin on his hand. “I don’t know yet… Feel like it’s a good introduction to the album, though, so maybe I should release it before, I don’t know…” And he placed his eyes upon her another time. “What do you think? What should I do?”
“You’re asking me?” She pointed at herself in a laugh.
“I don’t see any other person in the room.”
“Nobody else would fit in that room, Martin. It’s like five meters cube in here.” She looked around the studio with wary eyes.
“And the rent’s still expensive as shit, man. Think I should sell it…”
“What? Where’d you do music in, then?”
“Not sure… Maybe I’ll just buy another one outside of the building.” He thought.
“But would HYBE approve this?”
“Not sure either!” He chuckled, and his eyes almost closed entirely. Y/N joined the laugh, and what started as a little smirk ended up as a genuine twitting attack.
She didn’t really know why she’d started laughing this hard, most especially why it was with him specifically, but she enjoyed it. Not that the joke was good, it was lame. Maybe she’d been waiting to laugh for a pretty long time.
“So…” He declared again after the short hilarious outburst. “What should I do?” He asked, closing his hands in each other. “Tell me, Y/N.”
At that, she looked at him, and the way he’d pronounced her name. She saw, for the first time, the spark of a new type of relationship emerging, and the slightest glimpse of admiration for him creeping into her mind.
She didn’t know why, but she knew this night in the studio, this endless conversation, and his stupid laugh, would stay in her mind, as a symbolic event of how their frictions had transformed into a beautiful conversation. Filled with memories, laughter, interest, and the slight whiff of a new start, even so.
Which is why, she didn’t want to insult him anymore, nor to put him on the wrong path and expect him to fail what he’d planned to do, in hopes for her satisfaction to be fulfilled.
“I think…” She started, the thought of him being an actual good person lingering by. “You should just release it whenever you feel like the moment is fortuitous.” She said with a quiet, almost imperceptible voice.
It was almost like a whistle, a slight shiver colliding directly on his bare collarbones. Their heads were close, since they were sitting next to each other, and he couldn’t help but feel his hair stand on end from the feeling.
What the feeling was, he didn’t really care. At this point, he’d just listen to her whisper like this for hours and never wonder what the name of this bloody breeze was.
“The hell does fortuitous mean…” He responded, surprisingly even more quietly, as if it wasn’t even a question in the first place.
“Just…” She searched for her words as her arms gestured towards her core. “Like… Launch the song when you feel like it’s the perfect time for it. When you can just FEEL that you have to release it, you know?”
“Or… I don’t know, for some concert or something. For your tour, for example. You guys are having a tour, right?
“Yeah.. Yeah. Put your phone down. We’ve already done one performance, actually.”
“Really? I didn’t know. Where was it?”
“Incheon.” He replied blankly. “It’s in Korea—”
“I know it’s in Korea. Was it good, did you like it?”
“Yeah…” He smiled hesitantly. “I mean, yeah! It was fun.”
“Okay, why do I feel like it was not fun at all—” She interrupted with a laugh.
“I mean. No, don’t get me wrong, it was genuinely fun. It’s just…” He searched for his words and sighed. “Like, the phone is called Put Your Phone down.”
“You gotta put your phone down.”
“You gotta put your phone down. Exactly. And, well, matter of fact, they spent the whole tour recording us.”
“Oh wow. That’s not cool.” She laughed.
“No but like… They were all so nice and stuff… But like…”
“Like… I make music. I literally like, do it all day. It’s what I do, it’s like my passion.” He explained while gesturing with his hands. “And I could just feel they weren’t coming for the music. More for like, the faces… Or just because we’re CORTIS.”
“Right, cause you’ve got such a beautiful face, and every single girl wants you, don’t you?” She asked sarcastically.
“Oh, come on, girl, you can’t lie on that. It’s not pretentious to admit it.”
“I make them all run away with my fan service anyway.” He smiled flirtatiously, and she instantly laughed at the joke.
“Okay. That was good!” She chuckled and jolted from her seat, and he simply watched her with the biggest grin on earth.
He liked seeing her like this, he thought.
For the first time, she was laughing at what he’d said, and he’d never imagine such an experience to be this satisfying for the mind, the core, or the heart, he didn’t know.
She had those little crinkles forming right under her eyes and on her cheeks, and he just wished he’d pinched them, to see if they were this plump naturally, or if it was just some advanced skincare mechanism he didn’t know of yet.
“Wait. I have a question.” She immediately stopped laughing, as her mind filled with one problematic.
“Yeah?” He continued grinning.
“If I have free CORTIS access…” She started, looking suspiciously happy. “Does that mean I’ll travel with you guys, during the tour?”
“Oh.” He practically laughed after the question, more of remote anxiety rather than the humor of the demand.
Well, it was, he hadn’t planned such a thing. In fact, he’d never thought about it.
He’d just rambled in his head, about how annoying it’d be to see her at all of his performances, and how frustrating it’d feel to see her more and more, as he observed the bond she was starting to share with his members. He’d imagined her attending their dance practices, maybe even breaking into their dorm, because it could realistically happen, considering the rate and speed of her social experiments with his friends, that announced to be pretty bound to grow closer.
He’d never thought about the tour.
They’d been practicing for nearly a month, and he hadn’t thought about it, not a single time.
Come to think of it, he wouldn’t be surprised to hear Y/N’d also be going. Manager-nim seemed particularly eager to make him interact with her, for some reason he didn’t quite understand, so he’d surely step on the occasion to make her travel with him for two full weeks.
They’d go to America and Japan, then land safely in Korea, two nights before their final anniversary.
And the tour had started one week ago, though it was only one performance. Which meant, he’d have to spend the whole upcoming month with her, as in, two weeks of practices and promotion, and two weeks of tour, before finally going back to Seoul for their birthday celebration.
This is gonna be hard. He thought.
Because he knew exactly what was starting to come out of this new “type” of relationship they’d recently, if not currently tried to navigate into.
“Martin?” She asked, seeing how silent he’d turned.
“Hm?” He replied instantly, his brain focusing on a totally different topic. “Uh, yeah. Yeah… I think you should come to the tour, yeah.” He finally nodded, after taking a deep breath. “I mean, not that I want to, obviously, but my manager would surely want to. Since he wouldn’t want you to ruin my career in the time being… So..”
“I mean, if I really wanted to, I wouldn’t have to be away from you to get you cancelled, man—”
“Whatever. You get the point. I think you’ll come with us. And to Lollapalooza too, I guess.”
“You guys are doing Lollapalooza?!” She asked with a surprised tone. “ALREADY?!”
“I know, this is crazy.” He smiled. “I’m so nervous.”
“Right. I’d be too.” She muttered. “Wait, so that means I’ll get to travel all around the world…” She started smiling even more. “That’s LIT!” She practically screamed.
“I guess, bro. Only bad thing is it’ll be with me.”
“Yeah. That sucks. You’re fucking annoying.” She laughed, looking less serious than before, maybe less sincere as well, who knows. “But that’s actually cool. I wouldn’t have liked being in the same hotel for a whole month.”
“Ahh, right. You live in the hotel? Don’t you have an Airbnb or something?”
“I don’t have this much money, man. I’m not a multi-billionaire like you.”
“Okay— I’m NOT as rich as you think I am.” He chuckled.
“What, do you only have five hundred thousand dollars and not a billion?”
“I mean… I’m a producer.”
“Stop playin. You’re just a flirt. That’s how you gain the money…” She laughed, and he didn’t want to respond.
He briefly looked at her again. She was putting a strand of her shiny hair right behind her ear, and he wished he’d just done it himself for whatever reason.
“You know…” He started, so quietly it was practically imperceptible.
“Hm?” She looked at him at her turn, waiting for his declaration, and occasionally playing with her hair around her annual finger.
“If you don’t wanna stay in the hotel too much…” He continued, with the shyest voice he’d ever used, without knowing why.
“Hmm…” She replied again, sensing the waters with an extremely small voice, while taking a huge inhalation of air right into her lungs.
“Like crash here. If you want to…” He finally stated, looking utterly vulnerable.
“In the studio, you mean?”
“Oh.” She simply replied, entirely avoiding his gaze, yet she still caught him doing the exact same thing.
“I mean, if it’s your only option.”
“Right, right.” She whispered, seeming flattered but incredibly hesitant. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll leak your spoilers?”
“You don’t have my password.”
“C’mon. Starts with T, ends with I, and you’re the most self-centered person ever. Everybody knows it’s TEENBOI.”
At that, he laughed profoundly, and she joined the giggle, her voice muffled by her sleepy eyes and her sprawled position on the couch.
“Okay.” She simply nodded.
And on that, she’d closed her mouth with a slight smile, and adjusted her position on the couch, to end up almost lied down on this poor leather sofa.
“Do you know at what time they’re coming back? Your members.” She asked, lifting her head to look at his face next to her.
He lied down on the sofa too, adjusting his position to not seem to desperately aware of how close they were.
“I don’t know. Probably by like… Nine. Something like that. Usually ID’s take like… Four hours, something like that.”
“Wait, how long have we been in here already?” She checked her phone.
“I think it’s been like two hours.” He furrowed his brows. “Not that bad, not that bad. It’s longer than I’d imagined.”
“What could we do to make the time pass?” She asked, while joining both of her hands on her stomach, leaving her to have the most indelicate position to ever exist.
“Hm…” He thought, as he mirrored her position.
“I’m tired. Should we just sleep?”
“I usually don’t sleep when I make music.”
“C’mon, you’re not making music. You’re showing me the music, it’s not the same.” She smiled, her voice huffed by her position, making her voice sound incredibly more innocent.
“Okay, then I keep showing you my music. What do you say?”
“Hmm… Not a bad idea. But I’m gonna fall asleep.”
“It’s fine, then I can just work, so it’s even better. C’mon, I’ll show you the songs I’m not gonna release.”
“Okay. So they’re not spoilers, yeah?”
“Yeah. Just drafts I do when I’m bored or like… Tired. I don’t know.” He shrugged and pulled his laptop again.
She adjusted her position, moving considerably closer to him without hesitation.
He thought he’d been frozen into place when he felt her head tilting against his shoulder.
“Can I rest my head here? Cause I know I’m gonna sleep, might as well get myself comfortable.”
He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t even speak. She’d casually rewired his entire brain system without knowing why, under the excuse of being sleepy, and he didn’t know how to let it slide.
“Wait, let me just take off my boots—” She briefly interrupted his reflection.
She clumsily took her shoes off, and slipped her feet in those HYBE slippers he’d briefly talked about the day before.
“These are mine, what the fuck—” But he couldn’t speak more.
She was right on his shoulder, practically asleep, and he was deeply disturbed. Not by her presence, he’d admit it was truly comfortable and deeply endearing for the heart. But he just couldn’t bring himself to move, not even the slightest bit.
“Uh…” He stuttered with difficulty. “I mean, you’re still gonna— like listen to the— the songs, huh?”
“Yeah yeah… Yeah, obviously. Just because it’s Martin-ish doesn’t mean it’s not music.” And she tilted her head again to find a better angle.
So there she was, her head positioned right in the crook of his neck, above his shoulder, looking completely okay, and entirely tired.
He, on the other hand, was not okay.
But he was too tired as well anyway, so he didn’t dare to raise his voice, scream at her, or take her in his arms, things like this. Just the usual.
So he’d just pressed on his window file as silence settled, and began adjusting one of his drafts to make her listen to it.
“Hey… Before I fall asleep…” She whispered quietly, and her hand came under her head.
He could feel the palm of her hand brushing against his striped Number (N)ine shirt, and the faintest touch of her fingers along his exposed and vulnerable collarbones.
“Are we finally calling for a truce?” She asked, almost vulnerably again.
He sighed deeply, making sure not to move too much so she wouldn’t be disturbed by the motion.
“Yes. Yes, we are. Truce.” He whispered dramatically, and he felt a genuine wave of relief snapping through his whole body.
“Hihi…” She giggled sleepily, holding onto the breeze of his shoulder.
Something new was coming.
