A/N: I'm on winter break, so that means I finally have time to write! Here's a little something.This story is set during the 2006 Olympics. English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes, enjoy!
“I knew I’d find you here.”
It’s a chilly Saturday morning, and it is entirely too cold and early for you to be drinking a slurpy in your hometown mall small food court. Cherry flavour, as usual, since you like the taste and the tint it leaves on your lips and tongue.
The straw makes an odd sound as you slurp the last of your drink. Real smooth.
In front of you stands a vision of a man. Sidney Crosby, back in Rimouski during Olympic break. Your heart starts beating fast. Suddenly, the brain freeze from your slurpy is not cold at all. Your cheeks turn as red as your tongue. What a sight to see.
He’s dressed in a grey hoodie under a black coat. Black pants, Pirates’ hat on, sunglasses over it; this Sidney Crosby is trying to go unnoticed. Has he forgotten where he is?
“How come?” You try to keep your cool but fail miserably. He just casually sits in front of you. Gosh, he looks good.
“Well, midterms are coming up, and whenever you have to study all day, you go to the mall early, so you can grab lunch and not be bothered by your family.”
Oh, how he knows you. Or at least, used to.
You fail at hiding a smile. “I think you have a calling for divination, kid, not hockey.” You are a month older than him, and it means the world to you.
Then you look at him, really look at him. He has changed a lot in the few months since you last saw him. He seems older, more mature. Seems like his time in Pittsburgh has made him more than just even more fit. He still has those boyish features you adore, but they have faded over time. His eyes are so beautiful, and you wish you could get closer to him to admire them, just like you used to do before kissing him, a lifetime ago.
Your heart breaks just a little. If only.
He looks away, suddenly shy, or intimated, or hurt. “How are you?”
Is this how it’s going to be? Are you really going to make small talk to him? Why doesn’t he talk about the weather instead?
“I’m good, really good. Everything is fine, as usual.”
“How are your parents?” Gosh, is this Pride & Prejudice? Has his ability to communicate been reduced to match Mr Darcy’s?
“They’re great. My mom’s been asking about you. She is worried for you. So is my dad. They’re both basically glued to the TV whenever you play.” Sidney smiles, but it quickly fades.
“How about you? Are you watching me on TV?” His eyes are suddenly hopeful. Your heart aches, and you avoid his gaze. Deep down, he knows the answer is no. It doesn’t make it less painful.
After a few seconds, you lock eyes with Sidney. You put on a brave face. “Hey, want to go for a drive? I’m sick of studying. We can pick up some Tim Hortons on the way and eat it in a parking lot.” Like we used to, you want to add.
His smile is back on. “My treat.” You put your books in your bag, and he picks it up and wears it over his shoulder.
Sidney puts the sunglasses back on. You smirk, and he picks up on it. “What’s so funny?”
“This isn’t Pittsburgh, you know. Rimouski used to be your home. These people know you. Yeah, you’re a celebrity, but you’re also kind of family around here. Sunglasses or not, they could spot you from a mile away. But they also know that you’re here on break, and they respect that, at least most of them.” You’re walking side by side through the mall, and he looks at you sideways.
“You’re right. I’m just used to life in Pittsburgh, that’s all.” A cold wave floods your veins, and Sidney knows he said the wrong thing. You continue walking in silence.
The pair of you finally get to your car, and your beat-up Honda Civic suddenly seems so small. You get a hundred déja vus at the same time.
“The place hasn’t changed” he jokes, and everything is back to normal once again.
You still know his order by heart. The cashier smiles. This is a scene she used to play many times a week only a year ago. He adds a box of Timbits, then pays. You thank him and go back to the car and drive away. You don’t know why, but you’re nervous.
Your subconscious makes you drive to the parking lot where you first slept together, back when you didn’t want people to know.
As soon as you put the car to park, the air changes. There’s a silence, but it isn’t awkward. It’s filled with I wish things were like before and why did you change them then?
“How are you, really?” You finally ask.
“I’m good. Yeah, things are great." His smile falters. "Actually, no, they’re not, but they’re supposed to be, so I pretend they are.” He lets out a nervous chuckle. “I feel so much pressure and everyone expects so much from me, and I’m constantly worried about messing everything up, and it’s all a little too much, and I miss home, and I miss you.” He lets out a deep sigh and looks up the roof, his dark hair ruffled by the headrest, eyes closed. You’re not sure if he realizes what he just said. It was probably an accident. He is obviously very overwhelmed, and not thinking straight. Still, your heart skips many beats.
You can help but to cup his face with your hand, and softly caress his cheeks with your thumb. You’re not so bold as to put a hand through his hair, though you know that’s what Sidney needs.
“Sid, nobody expects you to be perfect except yourself. I feel like you’re on the edge of breaking down. You’re doing so well, and even if you weren’t, you have so much time to become great, and we’ll always be proud of you. Gosh, I always wear your jersey during game nights, even though I cried a million tears when I received it by mail, when you hadn’t called in a month, and I resented you so much. Whether you’re good or not, I’d betray the Habs a thousand times for you, and that’s saying something. Just give it a little time, and Pittsburgh’s going to be your home, and your jersey will be up in the rafters.” You take a deep breath. That last sentence hurts, but you just hope it cheered him up.
He turns his head to face you. He looks so vulnerable, and you’re reminded why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Without even thinking, Sidney crashes his lips on yours, your eyes shut, and your hands are in his hair while his are on your waist. Immediately, you deepen the kiss, and it’s like it’s last year all over again. His tongue starts tasting like cherries too, with a hint of sugar from the donuts. You wish you could stay like this forever but unfortunately for you, you come back to your senses.
“I have a boyfriend!” You blurt out.
Confused, Sidney pulls away. “What?”
“I’ve only been with him since January!” Like that somehow makes it better. The guilt is nearly overwhelming. You wouldn’t wish being cheated on to your worst enemy, if you ever had one.
“How come I didn’t know?” Sidney looks devastated. His words are innocent enough, but they start an avalanche of anger and resentment inside of you.
“Well how was I supposed to let you know, Sidney? Was I meant to write you a letter? Oh right, I don’t even have your new address! What about a phone call? Well you haven’t bothered with calling me, so why should I? You don’t get to blame me without taking a long hard look in the mirror, Sidney Crosby. Do you know how many nights I fell asleep crying, wondering why you wouldn't talk to me?” Now, it’s an ocean of frustrated tears running down your cheeks, your mascara staining them. You wipe them with the back of your hands.
“Gosh, do you even know how much I loved you? If you love me like I loved you, this situation would be entirely different. Instead, here I am, cheating on a boyfriend I don’t even love but that I keep around because he’s a distraction, but he’s not you and it kills me!” You gasp at your own cruel words. The tears start flowing again, and they don’t stop, because you’re so ashamed of yourself.
Your words are only partially true, and definitely not fair to him.
Sidney just looks at you, too stunned to speak, but he shakes himself and pull you close to him in one of those hugs that you miss so much. He rubs your back while you cry your heart out on his shoulder, probably staining his hoodie at the same time.
“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so, so, so sorry.” He repeats the words like a prayer. Maybe if he says them enough, you’ll forgive him.
Against your better judgement, you let him soothe you. You wish your resentment wasn’t fading with every touch.
Eventually, you pull away, but only for a short while, because you furiously put your mouth on his. The windows quickly fogs up.
“Let’s go in the backseat.” Obediently, he nods.
Frantically, you straddle him, and both of your shirts are immediately off. He quickly unhooks your bra, and he splits the task of taking care of your tits between his mouth and hand. Your back arches because you have longed for his touch for months, and it feels like coming home.
He worships your body, still knowing it by heart. Mentally, he takes pictures of it, because who knows when he is going to get to see it again?
“What’s his name?” Sidney asks against your neck, breathless.
“What?” You’re confused, and his hand on your thigh isn’t helping.
“Your boyfriend. What’s his name?” The question makes sense now. So does the sudden tightness of his hands on your body. That boy is jealous.
“Nathan. You know him. He’s friend with some of our friends. I’m sure you’ve seen him before.” He grunts and you both pause to take off your pants.
“The blond guy who always looked at you? He should know that you’re mine.” His mouth is possessive on yours.
“Used to be. Used to be yours.” At the same time, you feel him inside of you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your pleasure is heightened by the sounds he makes.
“Screw that. I messed up. You’ll always be mine. I love you too much to ever let you go.” His tender words send you over the edge. You come while chanting his name, then fall helplessly against his bare shoulder. It doesn’t take him long to finish too.
You both lay against each other for what feels like hours.
"Earlier, you said you loved me. Was the past tense intentional?" You know what he is subtly asking.
"Of course not. I still love you, Sid."
Sidney gives you a soft kiss then grabs the box of Timbits.
You put one in your mouth. “I can’t believe I now belong to the cheaters. This isn’t me. Only you could make me do something like this, Sid.” You softly sigh. He delicately runs his fingers through your hair.
“I’m sorry for that, baby. I hope you don’t regret this.”
You turn to look at him. “Sidney, I could never regret this. When it comes to you, I would do anything for crumbs of your affection. It’s embarrassing, really.” You laugh at little, shy.
“It’s really not. I look for you every time I see a colourful scarf, and I look for you in the stands after every goal, but I’m reminded you’re not there, and so I buy myself a cherry slurpy to get a taste of your lips.” His arms tighten around you, and you snuggle into him, eyes closed.
“Those words are going to hurt me for a lifetime. Every time you’re not there, in fact. It hurts, having to see your face everywhere. I’m constantly haunted by what we could have been.” It was scary, exposing your heart to him like that, knowing he could shatter it in an instant.
There was a flash of hurt in his eyes. “Remember when I asked you to try out long distance, and you flat out refused? You were convinced it was not going to work. You had no faith in me. Do you think I’m not haunted by that?” Now it was your turn to wince.
Of course, you still remember the cruel words you threw at him. It was like you did everything in your power to make him believe your relationship had a deadline. You didn’t give him a chance.
“It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. In a few minutes, we’ll put back our clothes, and I’ll drive you to your car. We’ll say bye and pretend none of this happened. I’ll go back to my boyfriend; you’ll go back to Pittsburgh. Eventually, all of this will be a distant memory. Eventually, we will be fine.” The words hurt.
He protests immediately. “What if we don’t forget? I don’t want you to go back to anyone else. I don’t want to go back to Pittsburgh knowing you’re with someone else.” He grabs your face. “We didn’t even try. You have to give us a chance.” Sid’s words shock you.
“Sidney, you can’t be serious.” He flinches, and you know you’ve hurt him.
“Do you truly have no faith in me?” He looks so vulnerable; it makes you want to cry.
“Of course I have faith in you, Sidney. I love you too much not to. But I also know that I might not survive another breakup.”
“Why are you already assuming this won’t work? I truly believe our love is stronger than a few hundred kilometers between us. I’ll call you everyday, I swear. Your school break is coming up, I could fly you to Pittsburgh, and I’ll visit you whenever we play the Habs. I’ll write you a letter everyday, if you want me to. You only have to trust me. That’s all I’m asking you. Along with, will you be my girlfriend again, even though it feels like you never stopped being mine?”
This was the sincerest declaration of love you had ever heard. If you had doubts about whether he loved you or not, they were now gone. You loved him, he loved you. What could go wrong?
“In my head, you never stopped being mine either. I could fool myself into thinking I could ever love somebody else, but it’s impossible. Of course I'll be your girlfriend, Sid.” As cheesy as it looked, there were some happy tears in your eyes. You heard him let out a sigh of relief before pulling you close to him.
You held onto Sidney like a lifeline.
“I want to take you on a date” You giggle like a lovesick fool at his request.
“Okay, mon coeur. But there’s something I have to do first.”
“I have to breakup with my boyfriend. No, not you. The other one.”
