low on gas, and farting ass

Call me Cheemer. Adult. he/him. Being completely enchanted by fictional men is a large portion of my personality. Enemies with @nbclover Sideblogs: selfship is @self-shippy and I post fanfic on @cheemers-writing-archive. Ask for nsfw alt.

[cheemerthelizard]

So! I’m quitting my current job soon and I have nothing else lined up for steady income at the moment. That means it’s time for

Writing Commissions!

My current pricing is $3 per 100 words, but this is subject to change. DM me if you’d like to commission me! Please let me know how long you want the comm to be in advance!

Do’s and Dont’s under the readmore!

I will do:

Fanfiction or original fiction

Romance or non-romance

OCs, canon characters, reader-inserts

SFW or NSFW

I will not do:

Non-fiction

Romantic relationships between an adult and minor/between family

Sexual relationships with minors/family (married couples are fine of course)

Depictions of rape

I will not be offering NSFW commissions to minors.

[cheemerthelizard]

did I tell you about how I won the trans lottery over convention weekend

[cheemerthelizard]

so I dressed as Lupin (as I do for conventions now). While I was there someone called me “sir” and didn’t correct himself when I started talking (my voice is pretty feminine even when I try to deepen it). My friend’s mom who knows what I look like referred to me as someone else in the pic that they sent (called me a “he” and is notably transphobic so it wasn’t out of respect, she just thought I looked like a man). My other friend’s dad who was one of my professors at a Christian college I went to knows I’m trans and is cool with it (unrelated to convention shenanigans but I received the news during that time). AND the first full day I was home afterward I looked super masc. I hit the jackpot baybeeeeeee

[cheemerthelizard]

did I tell you about how I won the trans lottery over convention weekend

[tothechaos]

aw what the hell change my leitmotif to a minor key im not driving

[newtbog]

gotta get my yummy up

[newtbog]

gotta get my yummy up

[newtbog]

gotta get my yummy up

[newtbog]

gotta get my yummy up

[newtbog]

gotta get my yummy up

[orkyydorky]

this too shall pass

[orkyydorky]

HURRY UP

[pukicho]

Still rocking an NFT icon in this day and age is like seeing a confederate flag on the back of someone’s truck. You lost 100 years ago, fucker, it’s over.

[theskullofjudgement]

J

[virtualgirladvance]

A

[rockergiirl]

C

[humanoidchaos]

K

[bestfurryhusband]

I

[literateamateur]

N

[secondhand-sonder]

G

[certainsongobject]

O

[shinosarna]

F

[flareonfloof]

F

[cannibalcaprine]

M

[gumi-megpoidd]

Y

[mewrrythekibby]

K

[foxgirlriley]

U

[dova-70]

N

[winters-r0se]

G

[monsterfucker-research-wizard]

P

[valkyriefastwing]

O

[melonisopod]

W

[ohmewhatsthis]

P

[lucinata]

E

[tammog]

N

[high-frequency-lotta-blood-deac]

I

[tumbwr]

S

[woolandflax]

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

[woolandflax]

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

[woolandflax]

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

[inthefallofasparrow]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[fipindustries]

ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten

[mint-corset]

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

[such-justice-wow]

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

[lectorel]

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

[domina-honoribila]

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

[teaboot]

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

[janmisali]

pick whatever option the person you follow who reblogged this post appears to NOT want you to pick. if you're seeing the original post and not a reblog, pick at random. if it's unclear which option the person whose reblog you're seeing wants you to pick, pester them until they give you a straight answer then do whatever they don't say. reblog at your own risk.

first option

second option

Remaining time: 6 days 1 hour

[flipchild]

Instead of saying crass B.S. like "what the c****", or "what t*** fuck", why don't we simply spread joy and say, "what the pleasure"? Reblog, if you agree. [tumblr]

[depsidase]