swiffer deserves happiness

Believing in someone sometimes means taking a risk in what they believe, too. You can't feel close to someone if they still insist something you can't accept. For example, if I were to tell you that Chef Boyardee caused the Permian-Triassic Extinction Event, you wouldn't believe me, right? I mean, how could you? Chef Boyardee wasn't alive when the Permian-Triassic Extinction Event happened. And how could one person have nearly ended all life on earth, even monocellular? Is Chef Boyardee even a real person, or is he just a marketing gossamer for processed food? If it's up to me, insisting that Chef Boyardee caused the Permian-Triassic Extinction Event is a question of faith. I will never justify why I think this. Because believing in people means taking a risk. And that's a risk I'm willing to take. Seven years later i have finally made the text in my bio black and you can read it! this is my about page. ALSO... i married Reimu

[cheeso]

I got a job fishing through the mixed waste trash for unrecycled starbucks cups and putting them right in front of starving sea turtles

[cheeso]

i started watching some video on a current-events science clickbait channel about how water is actually "two completely seperate liquids mixed together" and i completely gave up basically a lifelong peripheral interest in physics to close out 5 mins in because that is such horse shit if its real and i dont even blame the scientists im sure theyre even more pissed off themselves that they have to write down "we found out water is actually 2 waters" and find a way to frame it wothout getting like defunded

[cheeso]

hey uh let me fund science for 500 years, a deal with the devil. you get sanitation and better beverages. in exchange, you have to find out the headless horseman isnt real but water is basically water mixed with water and that's real

[cheeso]

i started watching some video on a current-events science clickbait channel about how water is actually "two completely seperate liquids mixed together" and i completely gave up basically a lifelong peripheral interest in physics to close out 5 mins in because that is such horse shit if its real and i dont even blame the scientists im sure theyre even more pissed off themselves that they have to write down "we found out water is actually 2 waters" and find a way to frame it wothout getting like defunded

[pukicho]

Is your dirt sweet

Your question means nothing but it feels intrusive

[cheeso]

i had a dream that a dick dastardly esque villain assassinated my breakfast platter with a six shooter revolver and when asked point blank if he was trying to shoot me but missed six times and ran out of ammo he bleakly responded yes

[cheeso]

buuuurrrp... i ate moana and supergirl and krypton

[cheeso]

Did you successfully evade the sphinx king?

king? that was the king?? *looks behind shoulders*

[cheeso]

well... guys... i ate the mandalorian and grogu...

[cheeso]

i was never able to eat food before because mandalorian and grogu wasnt on it now i am spoilt for choice like the flooding nile mandalorian and grogu food is everywhere i cant help my appetite when i see grogue my hunger just grows and grows and grows

[cheeso]

Disney wants to equate mandalorian and grogu = food with an intensity never before seen in merchandise, disney wants nothing less than for me to Eat Grogu

[cheeso]

i was never able to eat food before because mandalorian and grogu wasnt on it now i am spoilt for choice like the flooding nile mandalorian and grogu food is everywhere i cant help my appetite when i see grogue my hunger just grows and grows and grows

[cheeso]

i once had a dream where me and my childhood friend were home-sitting in a mansion that was like... mystical or whatever, i knew there were like pressure plates and hallways and whatever, but then, like, cut to later- me and my childhood friend are fighting like elemental zombies in the cemetery in the backyard, and we like need to stop them from getting to the elemental gate-arch, and things were looking really dire, and then i was like, "we need to get out of here if we want to survive! but we are cornered against the elemental gate-arch, and only elemental people can use it... but wait! we are humans from earth! so by technicality we are earth elementals!!!" so then we use the gate-arch to go the 'pure earth element' realm, which is a hecka mechanized infinity structure! but then when we enter the WHOLE thing malfunctions, it all powers down but keeps its structural integrity, i remember looking down a stairwell and seeing it going down for miles, and seeing countless other stairwells connecting in a way that would only make sense to a computer. anyway cut to two weeks later in the dream and me and my friend have set up a base next to a treadmill station, we have adopted some cats and are raiding vending machines and such, then i woke up, that was a good dream :D

anyway how are you?

i had a dream that chicago was called "the windy city garlic" instead of "the windy city" and everyone looked at me weird since i didnt say garlic at the end

[cheeso]

this is a genuine message and not a cry for help, i cant use the bathroom unless im reading large walls of text due to the self-inflicted pavlovian response ive created after years of public restroom usage and your bio is the only reason i was able to poop today

:0

[cheeso]

I remember as a kid being on edge about being judged for not knowing who singers or celebrities were because I couldn't comprehend that their face, name, most recent performance/song was all other kids needed to 'know' who they 'were' or 'like' them. I thought you like, needed to know who they were from the start, like in order, like a show with a story. I realized this was still the case the other day when it was pointed out to me that jojo siwa was on tv and i was just thinking I'd been meaning to know who that is but I thought I just had to happen on the introduction video and go from there because the idea of finding out information about people 'out of order' makes me feel like i am treading water over a deep abyss. I've actually never been diagnosed with anything

[cheeso]

When I was starting the internet the stuff that was trending was like lucky star and super paper mario and if you wanted to know what that was you knew where to start. Now it's the modern day and I'm actually still not finished with lucky star. For every episode of lucky star i watch i somehow get distracted and watch at least 3 episodes of cardcaptor sakura and 2 episodes of yugioh inbetween. I just can't focus. But I know who konata is if someone asks. But I liked 'endless eight' because the information being repeated made me pleased that i knew it all and didnt miss the start. that is all

[cheeso]

I remember as a kid being on edge about being judged for not knowing who singers or celebrities were because I couldn't comprehend that their face, name, most recent performance/song was all other kids needed to 'know' who they 'were' or 'like' them. I thought you like, needed to know who they were from the start, like in order, like a show with a story. I realized this was still the case the other day when it was pointed out to me that jojo siwa was on tv and i was just thinking I'd been meaning to know who that is but I thought I just had to happen on the introduction video and go from there because the idea of finding out information about people 'out of order' makes me feel like i am treading water over a deep abyss. I've actually never been diagnosed with anything

[cheeso]

My wifes job is occasionally to be a dead body in things so sometimes her mother and father in law get a new text of her covered in bloody bruises and i have to be like no she died for tv or a game or something

[cheeso]

Murder Meet Cute on Steam

Look, they don’t call me Amy ‘the tech genius’ Bailey for nothing? But just because I’m paid to fix computers, doesn’t mean I’ll sit here an

new game my wife is a dead body in

[cheeso]

I dont get worried so bad because she comes back usually, like jennifers body, or rosemarys bab,y or oceans eleven or charlies angels

[cheeso]

My wifes job is occasionally to be a dead body in things so sometimes her mother and father in law get a new text of her covered in bloody bruises and i have to be like no she died for tv or a game or something

[cheeso]

Murder Meet Cute on Steam

Look, they don’t call me Amy ‘the tech genius’ Bailey for nothing? But just because I’m paid to fix computers, doesn’t mean I’ll sit here an

new game my wife is a dead body in

[cheeso]

My wifes job is occasionally to be a dead body in things so sometimes her mother and father in law get a new text of her covered in bloody bruises and i have to be like no she died for tv or a game or something