‼️caldre toxic sadomasochistic yuri‼️
its_happening_to_everybody on ao3
This spring is unusually warm, and Cal and Andre spend almost all of it together. They don’t have many friends aside from each other, maybe three or four between the two of them, but they both find that they like it that way. Everyone at their school, even their friends, is either too stupid or too self absorbed to really understand either of them. So they spend the spring together, in the small bubble of tentative trust that contains only the two of them.
Andre squints against the sun as she drives, even though she has sunglasses on, and Cal absentmindedly drums her fingers against her leg in time with the music blasting on the radio. Even with the windows down, Andre can hear Cal humming to the music. She glances sidelong at her before turning her eyes back to the road. Cal pretends not to have noticed and just keeps humming, watching her own blonde hair snap out the open car window, not bothering to try and keep it in check. Andre groans but doesn’t complain, she just turns up the music as she makes a turn onto her street.
They pull into Andre’s driveway and almost before the car has even stopped, Cal’s already grabbing two grocery bags from the back seat and getting out of the car. Andre huffs as she turns the car off and gets out, but she can’t help but grin a bit as she watches Cal open the unlocked front door and go inside like she lives there. The two of them go inside and put away the few groceries Andre’s parents had asked her to pick up on the way home, then they go to the basement and collapse onto the two small couches there, each with their own bag of chips in their lap. Andre grabs the tv remote off the floor and looks to Cal.
“What’ll it be?”, she asks as she turns the tv on, already getting comfortable because she knows they aren’t even going to change what disc is in the dvd player.
“I don’t know, whatever you want.”, Cal says with a shrug before she stuffs a few chips in her mouth. That makes Andre roll her eyes, but it’s just what she expected to hear. Cal never really gives a concrete answer to anything, and she knows this by now. Andre rolls her eyes and mumbles something about having an opinion for once, but then puts on the movie they would’ve ended up watching either way. The opening scene comes on. The gun in the mouth. The skyline in the distance. Andre’s watching intently with an almost imperceptible smile on her lips but glances over to see Cal with the bag of chips in her lap, looking like she’s about to fall asleep already.
“Bro”, Andre says, throwing a pillow from her couch at Cal’s face. “I swear, if you fall asleep before it even gets dark out, I’m actually gonna kill you.” Cal groans when the pillow hits her face and she tosses it back at Andre, casting her a crooked grin along with it.
“Chill, I’m not gonna fall asleep”, she says with one of those laughs that doesn’t quite match her face in the same way a scowl does.
The two of them watch the movie in relative silence, each with her own barely concealed smile and private excitement as blood spatters and soap explodes. Men fistfight in a dark basement for fulfillment rather than money, and Andre finally speaks up. “Yknow, my cousins used to beat me up when I was little but I never actually got to hit them back”, she says with a blank face as she stares at the tv. Cal is a bit surprised by the sudden admission and the subtle resentment in her voice, but she can tell the resentment isn’t really because Andre got hit, but because she didn’t get to hit back. Cal looks back at the tv too before she responds.
“I’ve never gotten hit before”, she mumbles, unable to stop herself from glancing sidelong at Andre sitting on the other couch. “Always kinda wondered what it’d be like.” Andre looks back at her then and raises a skeptical eyebrow, unsure whether she’s perfectly understanding what the other girl is saying or if she’s misreading her words. “Wanna try?”, Cal asks before she can think too hard about it. “I’ll let you if you wanna try it.” Andre just stares at her for a moment, stunned but strangely excited by the offer. After a moment, she gives a little nod and stands up from the couch, suddenly feeling her legs get a little shaky. Cal stands too and tucks her hair behind her ears in that way she often does when she has nothing to do with her hands. To anyone else it would seem like a nervous habit, but Andre knows better than that. It’s just restlessness. The movie plays behind them as they stand facing each other, the silence between them feeling awkward for the first time since they met. “C’mon, what, are you scared or something?” Cal knows she’s just being obnoxious now, but she figures it’ll be easier on Andre to punch her if she goads her a bit. Sure enough, the small tease makes Andre’s brows furrow and she takes a step forward and makes a clumsy but strong swing, her fist connecting with Cal’s jaw. Cal stumbles a bit and glares at Andre, holding the side of her face in her hand. While Andre is distracted examining her own hand, Cal lands a solid punch to her stomach, causing her to double over at the unexpected impact. Andre retaliates by shoving the other girl’s shoulders so she ends up toppling over onto one of the couches. With Cal at a disadvantage, Andre steps forward and lands two more punches to Cal’s face, each punch less clumsy than the last.
It’s over almost as quickly as it started and Andre just goes back to the other couch and plops back down, pulling her blanket over her lap. Cal breaks out of the daze of being hit and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, only to find that it’s bleeding. “Cool”, she mumbles with a little grin when she sees the blood on her hand. She glances up to see if Andre’s looking and finds her preoccupied, staring at her own hand, running her fingers over her now slightly bruised knuckles with a little smile on her face. Andre just gives an absentminded nod in response to Cal’s mumbling, giving no indication that she’d actually heard what she said, but Cal doesn’t mind. The two of them sit in near silence, with the movie still playing in the background, each caught up in her own bloodied or bruised admiration.
Every now and again as the movie continues, Cal finds herself glancing over at Andre and then quickly looking back down at her hands in her lap. Andre allows it to continue until it becomes incessant and she glares at Cal and speaks flatly. “What?” Cal is caught off guard by the sudden acknowledgement and just shrugs. “Nothing, nothing, just”, she gives a little grin, “that was just kinda fun. I’ve always kinda wanted to do that teenage boy shit.” Andre just nods in response and goes quiet again, picking at her knuckles with bitten nails. Joking as the two of them threw papers into a bonfire in Andre’s backyard. Laughing at each other when they accidentally burned their hands with lye in the kitchen at three in the morning. Even driving with her eyes closed while Cal told her where to go never gave Andre the satisfaction that she’s found tonight. “Yeah”, she mumbles after a moment “me too.” The two girls lapse back into a comfortable, if slightly heavy silence until the movie ends and they just put on the same one, but now with David Fincher’s commentary. “Want some beer? My parents won’t notice”, Andre asks without sparing Cal a glance.
“Yeah”, says Cal with a little nod. “Yeah, sure.”
The two of them end up more than halfway through their second watch of the movie, wasted, with beer bottles scattered around the couches in the basement. The floor is comfortable when you’re drunk. That’s where Cal ends up, blonde hair tangled and face flushed from the alcohol, watching the movie playing on the tv upside down. Andre lays sprawled out on a couch, chuckling quietly to herself. “I’m glad I met you”, Andre mumbles as she stares up at the ceiling. Cal startles because neither of them have spoken in at least an hour, but then she sits up to look at Andre. “Uh, yeah, me too”, she says, words a little slurred from the beer and slowed by confusion.
“I’m serious. I’m glad we’re friends. You’re like me.”
Cal doesn’t know what to say so she just laughs. “Hey, how come you’re not like me?”
“Shut up, Cal, I’m being serious”, Andre snaps, sounding less intoxicated than she is. “No one’s understood me, like ever. Everyone’s just so fucking stupid, they don’t see anything beyond what’s right in front of their faces. We’re not stupid like that.” Cal just stares at Andre, who still hasn’t even looked at her, not sure what she’s talking about. Andre has never really referred to the two of them as a unit before. “People think I’m angry or they just think I’m psycho.”
“Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess if you’re psycho then I’m psycho too”, Cal says, tucking her hair behind her ears as she looks at Andre laying on the couch. They’re both silent for a moment and then Cal starts chuckling to herself before laying back down on the floor. “You’re like fucking Tyler Durden and I’m whatshisface, the narrator guy”, she says, still laughing. “It’d be kinda sick to blow up buildings together.” That makes Andre glance over at her, her eyebrows drawn together in what would be a grimace if her eyes didn’t betray a sudden, subtle hopefulness. She doesn’t say anything though, just lets out a sigh, looks back up at the ceiling and lets the two of them sink back into their own drunken thoughts.
When the two girls wake up in the morning, they’re both slightly hungover and neither has much of an appetite so they just drink some orange juice in the kitchen before Andre grabs her car keys to drive Cal home. “It’s nice out, I'm feeling a little antsy, I think I’ll just walk home”, Cal mumbles, meeting Andre’s eye just for a second before looking away again to focus on tying her shoes. “Oh, uh, yeah okay”, Andre says, a bit surprised at that because Cal hasn’t walked home from her house since Andre got her license, but she decides not to press it. She stands a bit awkwardly by the front door as Cal finishes up tying her shoes and when she straightens up, Cal gives a little smile before opening the door, giving a quick “later”, and leaving. Andre just stands there for a moment, left in the strangely suffocating wake of Cal’s presence, until she shakes herself out of it and sets out to clean up the mess of beer bottles and blankets the two of them had left in the basement, trying not to let her thoughts linger on her aching knuckles.
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