i know everyone has been waiting so, so patiently as i finish up the album. i promise it is coming. i have experienced so many things and emotions in the last couple of years, and figuring out exactly what this new record is for me took a lot of time. for whatever it's worth, we are now in the home stretch of finishing up all the little things....
in the mean time, do you guys remember the mixtape - if i could just stop the time, .... ?
i wanted to give you guys some tidbits from the making of that mixtape to hold you over. little rough demos that never came out, ideas that i loved but didn't really know what to do with..
this is the original intro i was going to use for the mixtape last may. i don't know why i didn't use it. it's made out of parts of "if i could just stop the time," and voicemails from friends and family over the last few years. i wish so badly i could stop time and be everywhere i love at once, with everyone i love at once. it is the biggest hurdle i face in life.
i wrote this song with my friend kevin in the fall of 2024. my heartbreak was still incredibly fresh and raw, but i started to have good days here and there. i think i wrote this more out of wanting to feel ok than out of actually feeling ok, if that makes sense. i was just trying to justify behavior, justify "endings" even. who knows.
i wrote this song at the end of 2024 and worked on it more in january of 2025. i was going through it. doing anything, with anyone, anywhere. trying to feel numb, trying to feel something, i dunno. heartbreak and grief turn you into many different versions of yourself. i didn't like the particular version i was writing about.
this is a demo i made in the winter of 2025. it was snowing in tribeca and i was lonely and missed the feeling of falling in love. i still miss that feeling and don't know when or how to experience it again.
this is a little piano song i wrote when i was hurting and reflecting. i think i wrote it at some point in the winter of 2024-2025 but i can't remember and i didn't write down the date. i never really did anything with it but it feels haunting and beautiful to me still.
ok. i dont know what these even are, but i hope they give you guys some insight into how i was feeling when i was making the mixtape. when the new album comes out, you'll get more insight into how i've been feeling since then. i want to be able to write about everything. going out, trying new things, doing things i regret, doing things i'm proud of, experiencing heartbreak, experiencing joy..the new album is all of that. i miss you guys and i just want you to have as much of me as you can until i can give you the record.
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