trouble in paradise | matt sturniolo
where mom!reader lost it a little bit but matt is there to comfort her also everyone wanted angst but I feel like I can’t do it lol
I got my first real period since getting pregnant, and let me tell you, I did not handle this very well. I'd had spotting before and stuff, but this was the real deal. I woke up with cramps I hadn't felt since childbirth.
I was alone with Noa because Matt had gone on a boys' trip with his brothers and Oliver, and I literally felt like I couldn't do it. Luckily, today was the last day of his trip, so I knew he'd be home around 2 p.m.
I took some meds, and Noa and I had breakfast on the couch, but then she decided to spill it everywhere and make a whole drama out of it. So I was cleaning the carpet while she sat next to me crying.
"Noa, please," I said, putting everything away.
My head was pounding by the time lunch rolled around, and I kept thinking that nothing was helping. I felt like Noa didn't like my mood at all, even though I tried to hide that I was in pain.
When I went to the bathroom with her, I also had to explain what I was doing with a tampon, and she just kept trying to shove it up her nose, so I had to be really quick in there.
Even the cat seemed to know I was in bad shape because I didn't even see him all day.
I was hoping she'd go down for her nap so I could nap too, but she was crying and having a really hard time falling asleep. I knew part of it was my bad mood, and the other part was that she really missed Matt. This was the longest they'd ever been apart.
Just as I was about to give up on getting her to nap, I heard the front door downstairs open and close. Noa heard it too, so she immediately stood up in her crib, looking at me and then toward the door.
When Matt walked into the room, her fussy little voice disappeared instantly. She smiled and reached her arms out for him.
"Hi, girls... what's going on in here? Someone should be asleep by now," Matt said as he picked her up and kissed the top of her head when she snuggled into him.
"Mama bad," she mumbled under her breath.
I don't know what happened, but I just lost it.
Tears came out of nowhere. I stood up, looked at both of them, and walked out of the room before loudly shutting our bedroom door behind me.
A few minutes passed while I lay curled up in bed before I heard Matt come into the room.
"She's asleep. What's wrong?" he asked, sitting beside me.
I moved away. I didn't even know why, so he slowly pulled his arm back instead of trying to hug me.
I sat up, looked at him, wiped my eyes, and honestly didn't know where any of this was coming from.
"'Mama bad?' Like I didn't just spend the whole day dealing with her tantrums and doing everything I could to make her happy! Literally, for the past two years, I've done nothing but be a mom, and I'm bad? You're gone all day, and then all you have to do is show up and she's fine! I feel like I'm the worst human being right now!" I ranted through tears.
Matt looked completely surprised. I think I was too. I almost never yelled like this.
"Hey... hey, babe." He gently placed his hands on my shoulders.
"Honey, calm down..." He moved closer and wrapped his arms around me, and this time I let him.
All I could do was sob into his chest while he sat there holding me. Part of me almost wanted him to yell at me. I knew he was probably worried, especially because we both knew what I'd gone through after I had Noa.
"Y/N, what's wrong? What's going on?" he asked, pulling back just enough to look at my face.
"I got my period," I whispered.
"I can't control any of this," I added.
"Oh, sweetheart... I'm so sorry. I wish I'd been here earlier to help you while you were hurting," he said, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs.
"What do you need?" he asked.
"Just... a nap, some Advil... and a hug," I said quietly.
He immediately wrapped his arms around me again and kissed the top of my head.
"Shh... let me shower after the flight, and you've got all of that," he said.
"I'm sorry... I didn't even say hello to you. How was your flight?" I asked.
He laughed softly, rubbing my back.
"It's okay. It was good, nothing crazy, but I'm really glad I'm home now," he said.
"So... did you know it was coming?" he asked.
"No... it just came, and I wasn't ready. I had to DoorDash pads and tampons. I'd also forgotten what it was like because before I got pregnant, I had an IUD."
He ran a hand through my hair and nodded.
"I'm sorry. I really am. And honey, you're the best mom in the whole world. If you ever feel like you've had to give up too much, we can send Noa to daycare. You know that. You can go back to work full-time if that's what you want. Anything you want, honestly. But please don't ever say you're a bad mom again. She's just a toddler, baby. She probably just missed me, and she didn't know any better."
"I know, Matt... I just... I really couldn't control what I was saying. I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Don't apologize. Really. Let's talk about all of this tomorrow, okay? Right now, let's just make you feel better first. I'll go take a shower, and then I'm all yours." He kissed my cheek, and I nodded.
But I love that Matt can always make everything better.
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