cherry ;

i am not a cactus, i own one.

[invitedbonfire]

[literature-cult]

some songs aren't just songs, they're feelings, they're a memory, they're vibes of a certain period of time in your life that you can't put into words

[thoradvice]

things you can always do:

start over

reread your favourite books

walk along the beach

get help

drink warm tea

listen to your favourite music

recover

[aidashakur]

You are not meant to be everyone's healer.

[bluejayqueen]

I’m at a stage in my life where I am constantly encouraging myself to accept me for who I am.

[drizzlingtears]

hot soup on a stormy night wrapped up inside a warm blanket with your favourite movie on is something everybody deserves

[cherryhehe]

#040122

where do i start? my past kept on creeping up on me. it’s like it wants me to deal with it. i cant shake the feeling that if i dont deal w it sooner or later, its gonna eat me up inside & what if its too late to seek for help? but what is there to fix, really? and whats the repercussion if i do let it all out? how is it going to affect everyone around me? are they really ready for my truth? so many unanswered questions i have yet i still cant find a reason to tell the truth. it’s exhausting. everytime i think im getting better, its all actually a facade. im not getting better, im just distracting myself better. and what do they know about me? are they going to hold some judgements about me? i’m so scared of getting criticized but i cant help but noticed i get distracted and demotivated from time to time. i dont really know what im going for here. im 26. its exhausting. im thinking its been 6 months of this self discovery and its tough. im getting less sleep everyday. its worrying. i just miss being loved, i guess. 

[cherryhehe]

#311221

the last day of the year and i’ve probably went thru the worst depression i’ve ever had. it was this year that i truly knew how dark the mind could be. how everytime i thought i got myself back up, i just got kicked tumbling down. Its not easy to not expect failure bcs i’ve been conditioned that way for a long time. im trying, in my own pace, to better myself. to create a habit that i would be proud of. its a struggle. i wish i find happiness soon. cant believe the last time i updated was about a narcissistic dude lol. that was a bummer. i moved on to a few guys too. i’m not sure if its their fault or mine. but thats the thing about life. no one is entirely at fault. i am also at fault for placing such high expectations and thinking everything is black and white. humans are way more complex than that and i’ve only understood that. 

i’m thinking of spending a year alone, just getting to know myself better without the distraction of another. i think its possible. for next year i want to be single. hopefully i dont get swayed as easily. oh heart, please for once think of yourself. im tired of battling problems. i want to load off the pressure from society. 

easier said than done. but we’ll get there soon <3

[cherryhehe]

#270221

I accidentally woke up around 6.30 am this morning. My alarm went off because i forgot to turn it off lol. But when the alarm went off, i didnt actually mind being awake at that hour. I checked my phone (i know its a bad habit i cant seem to shake off) & went to bed. I had a fight with A the night before. Most of it was my fault because he promised we would call that night but i didnt want to remind him because well- i’m scared i might come across clingy. I mean that was what drove the other A away so spare me this one. Yesterday was also my first day of period. I find it strange that i had this sudden burst of energy only to be completely wrecked at night & i crashed. He apologized tho for not being understanding when it was all my fault. I sorta hate the fact that he did that. I mean- if he even makes a mistake, does this make him insincere when he apologises? He did say he would do anything to stop it from getting worse but like would he learn from it? Its too early to know.

[cherryhehe]

Im 24 & ive never felt more lost.

They promised the world is your oyster once youve reached adulthood. You watch all these coming of age movies & theyre all set for adventures & friends & memories to make that defines you as a person. I never had any of that. I want to go out & figure what kind of person i am. I never had the chance. I hate living in my own parents place. Knowing that they cant do shit without you & how they cant function without you is just an immense burden on your shoulders & honestly what is living anymore? I spent most of my year contemplating whether i should kick the bucket because i dont see the point. Honestly i never felt happy this year. If my parents cud get married at my age, then god forbid i want to actually experience something like that. Fuckkkkkk. This suckkkkkksass.

[yimmyayo]

[kasiagala]

[whoiskasey]

Based on a photo by @pangur-and-grim

[sadviolences]

[craved-deactivated20230908]

“Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but ‘Mom’s’ probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”

— Kalyn RoseAnne (via extramadness)

[inthequietinthecrowds-deactivat]

[neckkiss]

- Unknown artist