Time to say goodbye
I haven’t really used my Tumblr much over the past year, and with the new year starting I’ve decided one of my resolutions is to do a massive social media cleanup. As such I’ve shrunken my Tumblr down massively with the intention of leaving it as it is and I will find other places to chill out. I’ve reached out to most people I still talk to here but in case I missed you out or you’re not on Tumblr anymore, this is probably the best place to see where I’m hanging out: https://cherrytruck.carrd.co/
Farewell Tumblr, it was a bit of a rough and wild journey but there were some good moments too!
For those who want a more detailed explanation:
Deleting my Tumblr has always been on the back of my mind for a while since I began to use it less and less. I’ve never been a fan of the interface itself and I only joined because that’s where everyone else was hanging out. The friends and community aspect made Tumblr great, and I’m so glad I met a lot of new people here. Of course, this place didn’t seem to come without drama despite the fact that I tried to be a simple fandom blog.
What also happened is that I got lost between fandom and activism on this site. I was only a fandom blog, but it felt as if I couldn’t escape the activism and politics and opinion sharing, and it almost felt like a contest to see who’s most righteous and who can be the best at proving their point. This was due to several factors, including people picking on me under the guise of politics, or following people and seeing some upsetting content I didn’t like - but most of all, I felt pressured that I HAD to speak out and defend myself, to the point where it became excessive and where I was no longer having fun. Were people always finding excuses to pick a fight? Or did I become so paranoid that this is what everyone was trying to do to me?
I don’t regret standing up to the values that I had, but looking back I realize there are times where I may have forgotten that I need to chill out and remember why I joined in the first place. I joined because I wanted a place to relax, not stress out.
I needed to take a step back and figure out what I was doing in my life. I focussed on real life commitments and gave social media a rest. It was actually a breath of fresh air and I slowly noticed over time I became more relaxed, I came across as more confident, kind, humoured and humble. I also felt so much happier in myself and a lot more at peace. So now when I looked back at the state of my Tumblr, I was horrified to see that at some point in my life my mind was full of chaos and my emotions were out of control. Again, I don’t have regrets on standing up for myself. My opinions haven’t changed. And it isn’t as if I was aggressive or rude towards anyone necessarily. But there were much better ways for me to deal with problems, for my own sake, and I wonder if I could have made more friends if I had just approached things in a more productive manner.
This is partly why I’ve erased most of my blog, as I just want to leave on a clean note with no bad vibes left behind. It’s also because now that this blog will be inactive, then until Tumblr itself gets deleted (which at this rate is highly possible...) this page will only ever be searched by those either wondering where I am or new people curious about what I do. I want them to come acoss a neat and simple page rather than something cluttered from the past, should they choose to look on my blog.
The new Community Guideline update doesn’t surprise me very much, given that Tumblr administration has always been a disaster, so anything goes. But it did cause quite a lot of my posts to be inappropriately flagged, and I cannot be bothered to appeal nor am I really interested in a disaster company like Tumblr retaining my data anyway, so it was easier to simply delete. It seems like people are quite upset and questioning if Tumblr is viable to stay in the long term. I’ve always questioned this way before the most recent update, but this only further gave me reason to justify that there is no good staying on this place if I’m feeling so negative about it. I do hope this means people migrate to other platforms where communication is much easier, hence I’ve reactivated some of my accounts and placed them on my Carrd so I can be found easily.
I’ve accepted the changes in life are just part of me growing up. A lot of things in my life have changed and will soon change dramatically, and it’s made me mentally adjust myself and gain a new perspective on life. I guess in a way Tumblr played some responsibility in helping me grow up, but now it’s time to move on. I will still be around online sometimes for the remaining fandoms I am in, though I don’t feel pressured to produce content for it any longer. I will continue to write at times. I’ve also decided I will invest more of my energy into original projects since I have so many ideas for them and never had the chance to develop them further. I will also focus more on life commitments, which sounds daunting and scary, but it’s actually opened my eyes to simply enjoy life around me and appreciate my surroundings, the places I go to, connecting with people and nature, all those lovely things.
I may delete this post once time has passed, though I will leave this blog up for the time being (unless there’s a good reason to delete it). However, I ask that you don’t try to reach out for me here since I will not be checking here after this post. I will update my Carrd depending on where I am most active. I wish you all the very best in life.
