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@chesmcbadbat
TASK 005:::âŚ.. Digging Deeper
QUOTE: "Nobody makes a fool out of Chester McBadbat! ...Except for the school system, the government, and every girl I've ever met!"
[ fawn ] :
At his words her stomach knotted up, fluttering into a jumbled mess. The soft smile on her face only growing to a large grin. Fawn always melted into a giddy mess when he was being sweet with her, always. âYou were just yourself, Chester. You know how rare that is to find these days? And you , being you was just kinda.. my match.â She mumbled softy as her cheeks softened with a pink. Looking down to tuck her hair behind her ear. Leaning into the kiss on her cheeks she wrapped her arms around him, cuddling in. âIâll tell you whatever you need to hear, whenever you need to hear it okay? But seriously. Donât over think it - thatâll lead to our doom if you get lost in that head of yours. Just.. day by day, Chester.â¡
He let out a small breath of air, never believing that is all that it took, just him being himself. If only she actually knew how many people didnât like Chester for the fact he always acted like himself. That didnât stop the doopy smile that came on his face at Fawn saying that he was her match, like the sound of that.¡âWell, honey, know that Iâm always gonna be myself whenever around you.â He reassured, as there may be things he couldnât be so open about yet, but taming Chester McBadBat was not one of them. He hold tighten in a reassuring and comforting well, another sigh escaping him contently. âNoted, Iâll try. For real this time âcause thereâs no way I want that to happen. Unless you finally get fed up with me or by some holey spirit, you open your eyes and see that maybe you have another match out there.â¡
[ fawn ] :
Fawn smiled softly. Wiggling just a little so she was closer to him. âYou wanna know a secret? Well, not really a secret, but youâll get it.â She corrected herself with a small laugh. âYou can take as much time as you need to be open, Chester. Iâm not going anywhere, anytime soon. You have all the time in the world to open up to me. I get it, really I do - and I get you donât let many people as close to you as I do.â Letting her smile grow she leaned over and kissed his cheek. âJust .. breath for me? Weâre in no hurry. Be my goofy, carefree, Chester.â¡
Try as he may, or maybe not much so, Chester laughed.¡âSeriously, what did I do to have someone like you in my life?â He asked, finally releasing his hold on her hand only to slip them around her after Fawn had moved in close.¡âYou can tell me ten thousand times how much I deserve you, yet Iâm still gonna ask because I know I donât. Not when youâre this patient with me.â Still, he smiled at the kiss against his cheek and Chester himself even returned one with a kiss aaginst her forehead.¡âBut thanks....I think I really needed to hear that.â¡
[ fawn ] :
Fawn could only roll her eyes hearing him. A playful laugh falling from her lips for a small second. At least they could joke around with each other, that was always a nice sign. Hearing him she tilted her head softly. âWhat do you mean?â Fawn didnât think she was going too fast, if anything she felt like she was lacking. âI mean.. I get that just, why do you feel that way?âÂ
Chester shrugged while he kept his gaze directly at her. âI canât help but think that every time we take a step forward together, I do something to make myself take a step back.â He explained, or tried to. âI mean, youâre so open with me, Fawn! And, and I really like that because I want to know things about you! But,... itâs not easy for me to do the same.âÂ
[ fawn ] :
Fawn bit into her bottom lip to keep from laughing softly. Truly, she adored everything about this man. Pulling a hand from his she lifted it to hold his cheek and give him a little smile. âChester, Iâm never upset with you. Iâm upset .. just because youâre upset. Itâs because I care about you that deeply, and that much that you being upset just gets my gears going. Itâs never at you, or us⌠ever. â She nodded softly. âThat.. yeah, it was the first fear that slipped in my head, honestly.â She admitted softly to him. Tilting her head she frowned her brows slightly thinking. âAre we⌠going to slow⌠or to fast?â¡
âWell Iâm upset with myself and if youâre upset because Iâm upset, that means youâre upset with me.â He said as a half-hearted joke. Like he was trying to get her to say that she was upset with him. It wouldnât be the first time someone said so. Yet despite that, Chester felt that warm weird feeling in his chest he always gets in just being with Fawn, admittedly in relief by her words.¡âWell, donât.â He said, only to shrug right after. âI think weâre both in different paces. Not exactly too fast, but...I might be going slower than you.â¡
[ fawn ] :
Fawn felt the weight falling off her shoulders at his words, and just the way his hand tightened around hers. With a soft breath she nodded a little bit, taking in what  he was saying. âOkay.. I just, hate not being able to help. I care about you so much when youâre upset like this it just makes me upset. Itâs my job to keep you happy and feeling safe in us - all those good things, you know? And to know you feel something is missing.. I just canât find the urge that I need to find that and fix it.âÂ
The corner of his mouth tugged a smidge when she nodded, but it didnât go any farther than that. It was hard for him to want and smile when his own actions were the reason why Fawn was worrying over him. Again. God, this was what Chester was talking about at the beginning. âAll I seem to be doing lately is making you upset, and you really canât tell me now that isnât true.â He sighed. âLook, thereâs nothing missing in our relationship, and I want to be with you if youâre worried thatâs what it is. Besides, we promised ourselves that weâll go on our own pace with this.....â Trailing off as he thought over what he had just said, Chester blinked. â...Maybe thatâs it.âÂ
[ fawn ] :
Fawn let the silence sink in. Let her dream world have a rain cloud that Chester felt something was missing between the two of them. Which truly took everything in her to not get lost in her head. âOhâŚâ She said softly. Fawn nodded softly to herself as the thought was almost numbing. At least he was kissing her.. that had to be something in the right direction - or at least she was crossing her fingers that was the case here. âYeah.. of course. I mean I canât force you to say anything. I-I can wait.â She stated softly as her hand held his a little tighter. Fawn wanted to pull away, but the fear of losing him had her clinging tightly. âIs.. is this too much? Dating? Am I doing it wrong? Should I tell you more often how important you are to me? I just want to help so fucking bad, Chester.â
âNo!â Chester replied without even thinking, his own grip tightening in fear of Fawn pulling away if he said anything else. How was it that he was the one being self-derecating and even admitting that this was all because of him, that there were things he was having issue about his own self, yet she still felt like any of this was because of her? With his forehead still leaning against herâs, he shook his head just as he realized he needed to clarified what he meant. âYou arenât doing anything wrong, so pleaseâŚ.stop blaming yourself because this isnât on you. Really.â And to make his point, Chester pressed a gentle kiss against her nose before he loosen his grip, yet still kept their hands connected. ââŚItâs not on you at all.â
[ fawn ] :
âSomething feels missing?â She mumbled softly. Fawn knew it was only going to make things worse to question him so deeply but the words felt heavy. In the silence she kept her head down and just sighed softly. Thought the sigh melted to a small hum as he finally leaned in closer to her. âYouâre more then enough for me , Chester.. stop.â Fawn didnât say anything in return. Instead she let her hand leave his to reach up and pull his shirt in - her lips finding his. Softly at first , but it grew to show just how much she adored him. âPlease .. â she mumbled softly against his lips. âIâm here for you to talk to about anything.âÂ
He didnât warrant her question with an answer, his silence itself being enough to tell there that there was. But if he ever to admit what that was, it would only make her feel worst and Chester already been doing enough of that today. His thumb continued to brush against her knuckles as he let out a small hum to confirmed that he was hearing her. Chester didnât know what else he could say as he couldnât promise her that he would stop. If he even could. Fortunately, he didnât need to come up with something as Fawn pulled him in and his lips connected with hers, the only thought within his mind was kissing her back. When the kiss deepened, he felt what she was trying to say. â...I know.â He mumbled back as he reconnected their lips for a quick kiss. âBut not today. Iâll try and stop and if I have them again, Iâll let you know, but I canât do so today....,if that fine?â
vanessa found herself in an all too familiar and miserable place. sad and now also lonely. but the thought of reaching out to anyone right now made her stomach twist. sheâd been far too honest and far too vulnerable for her own liking and could feel herself shutting down. so with her cellphone turned off she left the apartment. the clubs were too loud and crowded and the last thing she felt like doing was dancing. so she found herself seated in a small bar, hardly anyone else there except some guys playing pool and few other people scattered around the tables. soft music played in the room and vanessa down her most recent shot, sheâd lost count of how many she was in, but it didnât matter, she still ordered another. she was in the midst of debating if she should try hustling some pool, or possibly pick a fight with someone to get her anger out when the stool next to her moved, scrapping the floor. âfirst drink is on me.â she told the person with a smile she assumed was friendly enough, her lips were numb at this point. âthis guyâ she said pointing to the bartender as he put another shot in front of her. âmixes a mean drink.â
It was another late night shift at a bar for Chester, but it wasnât his usual shift at the Snuggly Duckling. This time around, he found himself working in a lesser known and much smaller pub, one where the amount of customers coming in were sparse in comparison to the more known places within the island. And it was a nice change of pace for him, or at least it wouldâve been, but just like anyone who worked within the bar scene could tell you, there was always that one customer who walks inside and stays there, drinking drink after drink and will not leave until theyâre either forced out or until they finally feel like theyâve had their fill. Tonights special person happens to be a brunette whose been sitting by the bar for a good while now, drinking one drink and then demanding him for another. And at first, Chester didnât mind one bit in serving her, figuring that sheâll leave after having three shots or so, but now she was on her fifth and she was offering the person who sat next to her that sheâll pay for them while claiming the âfirst drinkâ was on her. Meaning she had no plans on leaving no time soon. âYou really are planning on drinking more than this, huh?â He commented, completely ignoring the way she pointed directly at him as he was planting said fifth shot in front of her. âThis is already the fifth shot youâve ordered, how many more are you looking to drink?â
[ fawn ] :
âWell, clearly there has to be something Iâm missing if youâre so hung up on this.â She stated softly. Fawn wanted to move closer, but he had pulled away. So instead she just kept her eyes on their hands. âWell, then you just need to accept how you see me, is how I see you. I .. hate seeing you tear yourself apart like this, Chester. I just want us to be happy.âÂ
âThatâs because whatever missing has nothing to do with you.â Was Chesterâs comeback, all his negative feelings being because of him and not Fawn. She just got tangled into them because for some reason she wanted to be with him. Closing his eyes, the blonde let out a deep sigh before leaning over and resting his forehead against hers. âWhat else can I say besides Iâm a work in progress who had years of knowing Iâm not good enough?â He opened his eyes and stared at her. âI donât like dumping my issues onto you or making you feel this this either.â
[ fawn ] :
Fawn felt the cold rush of hair move between him as she pulled away from her. Thankfully her hand bumped into his as she reached out to hold on to him. It felt like her only little life line of keeping him here with her. âAnd if I wanted anyone else, I would be with them. I want to be with you..â She said softly looking down at their hands. âWhat am I doing wrong that you just canât see that, Chester? D-Do I need to be doing something more?â
As much as he wanted to smile in hearing that she wanted to be with him, he still ended up feeling a painful tug in his chest when Fawn then blamed herself for this. âThereâs nothing wrong with what youâre doing.â Chester denied while gripping her hand in a reassuring way. âHell, Iâve said it before but Iâll say it again, youâre perfect Fawn. And thereâs nothing more you need to do.â
[ fawn ] :
Fawn felt a small knot in her stomach, but she knew pulling away wouldnât do either of them any good. So she kept close to him, maybe that would help? Show him she wasnât really going anywhere.. âBut what? Talk to me, whatâs going on, Chester?â Her voice nothing more then a small whisper.
But why him? No matter how many times she reassures him on how much she likes him and wants to be with him, Chester couldnât get it through his thick skull as to why. Instead of answering, he pulled away and shifted until he was facing Fawn instead of sitting besides her. It was then when he reached over and took her hands and held them in his. â...You know you can find any guy whose so much better than me, right?â He said, while slowly rubbing his thumb against her knuckles.Â
do you ever worry that fawn is too good for you?
âEvery fucking day, and what she seeâs in a guy like me, who the hell knows. But what I do know is that Fawn is too good for me yet sheâs with me anyways when she could be with someone better.â @fawn-goodwinn
[ fawn ] :
Fawn frowned softly at this words. Mostly out of worry then anything else. Pulling back she nudged him enough to at least try and find his eyes. âWhy would you want to sabotage this? If you just worry on things like that youâll do more harm then you ever could just letting this play out the way itâs suppose to. I like to think itâs playing out rather nicely.â
Though he didnât want to, at the nudge, Chester forced his eyes back open and glanced back at her. Then at the sight of Fawnâs frown, he sighed once again. âI donât know.â He repeated, wishing that he had a good answer. âIâm not doing any of this because I want to sabotage this, because I donât. But...âÂ
[ fawn ] :
Fawn beamed feeling his words against her neck. Snuggling into him even more as her arms tightened , making sure he was as close to her as possible. âGood⌠stay that way. Donât let everything else bug you please.â Nodding she kept he snuggled up closely. âI promise Iâll let you know but I doubt you could ever hurt me. Why are you dwelling on that so much?âÂ
â...All Iâm gonna say is that Iâll try.â Chester stated, knowing he canât fully make a promise to her that he wouldnât let those thoughts get to him. Heâll be completely lying to Fawn if he did and thatâs why he didnât say he promise. With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and shrugged. âI donât know.â He admitted. âMaybe Iâm trying to find a reason to sabotage myself or something.â