Chestnut Blight

#I guess I don't really remember if the dream book is made up of real words #but in the waking world I also sometimes lose track of the fact that a book I'm reading is made of words #It just becomes a story in my head

Sometimes I am sitting in my bed reading a book, and I come to the slow realization that my eyes are closed and I had seamlessly slipped from reading my book to dreaming about reading my book. Then I get annoyed because I'm waking up and I know the last couple chapters (which were always very interesting and engaging) are going to slip away and I'll never find out what happens in that made up plot line.

tpwrtrmnky

There's cultural relativism and then there's naive anglocentric cultural dipshitism where you go "well, they have a word for a thing you put on your foot to protect it from the environment, but that word doesn't NECESSARILY translate to shoe because they make them differently from how we make shoes, so really they don't have a concept of a shoe the way we understand shoes, and also they have a more spiritual understanding of covering your feet when going outside, so really it's completely different" and then you ask someone from the culture in question, and they're like "yeah that word just means shoe."

I once read a book that spent a lot of time telling me how the French concept of terroir has no English equivalent. Terroir is the interactions of plants and animals with each other and with the abiotic factors (climate, soil, ect) of a specific location.....

I don't think the guy who came up with the phrase "quiet as a mouse" had ever encountered a mouse.

They sound like they are wearing tiny tap dancing shoes, you can hear them from halfway across the house---- clicking their tiny nails on the floor, rustling around trying to get into a bag, noisily climbing up some narrow space. They are loud!

aaaaa @ninamodaffari keeps trying to piss me off by calling every little brown bird i try to ID "paul allen's sparrow" and it's working

if you want to simulate what i'm putting nina through just [take this quiz] 🥰

from a certain standpoint birdwatching is a sort of gacha

-reliant on RNG random encounters

-instills a deep sense of fomo

-seasonally-cycled releases

-becomes increasingly financially prohibitive the more you want to expand your list and/or document your encounters

-achieved goals sound meaningless to those not in the hobby

never give up!

Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there

Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now

So there's two species of sea lion in North America: the California sea lion, ranging along California (including Baja) but not ranging into the north coast or into oregon

And the Stellar's sea lion, which are WAY bigger and live in Washington, British Columbia, and Alaska

A male Stellars sea lion showed up in SF like a month ago and just kinda. Didn't know what to do, and joined a colony of California sea lions, and is just kinda chilling there now.

Weird vagrant species happen from time to time, but this is just a particularly funny instance of a highly social species getting very lost, and just trying to blend in with its closest nearby relatives

I thought this was going to be about Frankenstein's monster, but this is even better

victusinveritas

coginthemachine

kindred spirits with our fave trade school alum

great-and-small

Don’t mind me just thinking about the hole in the middle of the United States where Chipping sparrows refuse to fuck

great-and-small

dyk-this-musical-song

Do you know this Musical Song? #174

I know the song and the musical

I know the song but not the musical

I know the musical but not the song

I may know this

I have never heard this

Voting ended onApr 29

#I'm surprised so few people knew this one #its a very well known musical #even if this isn't one of the more iconic songs

I'll try and keep it vague to not spoil anything:

tags ->

I like this song--the song itself is enjoyably funny and it acts as a fantastic foil to the song "an ordinary couple"

Honestly "an ordinary couple" isn't my favorite song (it's boring), but the pair of songs do a very neat job showing the differences in the people who sing them and what they think about love and making a relationship work.

And naturally the person who has an entire song romanticizing hardship and dramatic gestures of love immediately caves and supports the nazis (ending her relationship with a guy who won't do so), rather than risk losing her wealth and social status. And the people who just want to have a quiet life in each other's company do end up facing hardship together and enduring.

escuerzoresucitado

scp372

giant isopod is like what if magical creatures were real but just out of your reach. what if there was an animal that was generally really small but we made ONE that was actually the exact size you have dreamed about for it to be a normal house pet. but you both evolved to be unable to survive in each other’s environment. even experts (aquariums) struggle to conduct an environment in which they can survive and thrive, so you may never see one even behind glass. they may as well be unicorns. just one of the many ways life taunts me

concoctionboy

Despite the name, most hagfish cannot cast spells or brew magical decoctions in caldrons.

They can, however, produce copious quantities of slime, which in some ways is just as good.

probablyfunrpgideas

A group of three or more hagfish, or a “coven” can perform a ritual over the course of a week to reduce a marine animal’s body to a skeleton.

Idea: make some new spells that work underwater! I find players are hesitant to cast fire spells (which are less effective) and electricity (due to largely unfounded fears that it could spread through the water). How about a sonic attack spell? We’ve got lightning bolt for a line, fireball for a radius, so let’s make this a semicircle!

Sonar Wave - third level evocation, components: a vial of whale oil. Area: a 20-foot radius hemisphere, starting from a point of the caster’s space. Underwater, the radius is 40 feet. Sonar Wave deals 8d6 thunder damage with a Constitution save for half. The caster learns the position of all creatures who take damage from the spell.

If two people cast the sonar wave at the same time you have to do math to determine the damage based on their location and the waves' constructive and destructive interference.

bob-artist

Crimetober 1-9

Because birds are criminals.

bob-artist

Crimetober 10-21

When will they be held accountable

bob-artist

Crimetober 22-31

Justice will never be served.

one-true-houselight

[id: 31 pieces of art of different birds committing crimes, titled Crimetober.

Murder: A number of crows gathered around and on a person lying down with an axe in their back

Kidnapping: a large fluffy hen with a number of chicks and a kitten under her

Petty Theft: A seagull steals french fries from a person

Carjacking: Three kiwis calmly pull apart a car as a passenger inside watches in horror

Vandalism: Two small songbirds sit on a Do Not Feed the Birds sign, with bird poop covering the words Do Not

Stalking: a heron creeps up on some fish

Assault: A magpie dives at a helmet wearing child bicyclist

Jaywalking: A bluejay hops out onto a street

Indecent Exposure: A bird in a complex mating display where it has two bumps on its chest that resemble boobs

Child Endangerment: A pigeon with an egg balanced on a small window ledge, having carefully placed a few small twigs around it

Smuggling: a wading bird with multiple other birds somehow concealed around it's chest with only legs sticking out

Disturbing the Peace: a flock of birds making a racket around a house at night

Bribery: a bird holding a diamond ring in its beak

Speeding: a peregrine falcon diving fast

Harassment: a number of Canada geese chase a human

Fraud: a bird stretching its neck up to appear similar to the tall grass surrounding it

Piracy: a parrot on a pirate's shoulder, holding a CD labeled Napster

Breaking and Entering: Cockatoos shredding various components of a window and its screen to gain entry

Menacing: a small bird with a knife

Child Abandonment: a cowbird by a nest, which has one conspicuously larger egg in it

Obscenity: a grey parrot saying 'bollocks'

Intimidation: an owl puffed up to look big and scary

Littering: an ibis-like bird on a trash bin tearing bags open to scavenge

Drunk and disorderly Conduct: a number of birds around a tree, eating fermented fruit and passing out

Loitering: A huge flock of penguins hanging out

Illegal fishing: A kingfisher perched on a No Fishing sign holding a small fish in its beak

Destruction of Property: a woodpecker pecking holes into a wall

Arson: a bird flies over a burning landscape holding a twig on fire in its claws

Manslaughter: a cassowary waling away from a seemingly dead person

Resisting Arrest: a cardinal biting someone's hand that is holding it

Perjury: a parrot behind a defendant's witness stand saying 'I'm Sorry'

/end id]

lost-carcosa

4. Carjacking - I think they are Keas , not kiwis (hence the car being a Kia)

9. Indecent Exposure - Greater Sage Grouse

11. Smuggling - African Jacana

16. Fraud - Bittern

19. Menacing - I'm sure I've seen the photo this is based on somewhere on tumblr, but I can't find it at the moment

20. Child Abandonment - Cuckoo (note the striped tail)

22. Intimidation - Great Horned Owl ?

23. Littering - Australian White Ibis (Australians often refer to them as "bin chickens" for their habit of foraging in garbage bins)

#birds #cool art #I bet the artist is either australasian or north american #Lots of Australia and new zealand birds #Almost as many north american birds #And a lot of the rest are generic birds (like “crow” or “gull”) that I personally can't pin down the species #A fun selection of species #And their “crimes” do line up very well with their personalities and behavior #(cardinals bite SO MUCH)!

24: Drunk and disorderly Conduct- cedar waxwing

28: Arson- black kites

greater-than-the-sword

I bet those astronauts are pretty excited to be the farthest from Earth anybody's ever been. You might even say they're over the moon about it

Get ready for a tumblr's-aging-userbase post:

Because I arrived first, I managed to get the room with the big bed in the shared staff housing (yay). I only brought twin sized sheets, meaning I had to go buy new sheets (boo). The cheapest sheets ($15) were microfiber and felt terrible and sticky. The next sheets (100% cotton) were $55 (!!!) but felt really smooth. (And there were a bunch of EVEN MORE expensive sheets--- who knew sheets could cost this much??).

I am now the owner of a set of very fancy and smooth $55 sheets. It seem like such an absurd thing to spend so much on: but I have no regrets, they are fantastic. My bed is so comfy :)

And they are dark blue! So pretty too!

#old person posts #bedsheets #so comfy #tumblr's aging userbase #I absolutely brought the sheets from my childhood bed everywhere I had lived until now #I'm genuinely thinking about getting a brand new set of twin sheets next time I move #Instead of going back to old sheets

I have misplaced an egg. I was going to fry an egg for breakfast, took the egg out of the fridge, got distracted, and now the egg has disappeared. I've looked everywhere but there's no trace of egg. where are you, egg? where egg?

Somewhere in my house there is a now truly free-range egg, laughing at me. 😔

EGG STATUS: STILL MISSING

I currently have two main theories:

I put egg on the table on my balcony when i went to water my little vegetable garden and then my nemesis, the fat rude bird who sometimes digs up my garden and then yells rude bird songs at me through my window stole my egg.

egg is still roaming around inside my apartment, possibly cleverly evading capture by hiding on one of the shelves i dont want to tidy cause there's too much stuff on there

i'm still holding out hope that egg and me will be reunited some time in the future. where are you egg? please come back egg...

don't cry for egg, tumblrina... the truth is egg never left me (because i bet it's still hiding in the house somewhere)

queenofangts

@kropotkindersurprise

thank you! everyone please keep an eye out for egg