cal

day by day diary

[chewychewcal]

kiss me goodbye like you’re hungry and i’ll sink back into dirty sheets still starving

[chewychewcal]

went on a ride before sunset to buy cigarettes. i found serenity in the breeze and in my solitude and in the chimney swifts chirping in the sky

i asked myself who i was and if i needed to know now

am i a boy or a girl or something in-between

have i been a girl wanting to be the boys i’ve supposedly fallen in love with well who are they even?

i am who i am

the swift orange and pink cloud setting in the sky and the night hawks hunting overhead

i am even the stick i put in my backpack and the graffiti i imagined id write on the wall

my guess is that it’s not that serious because there’s fun to be had and i’m a glutton for it

[chewychewcal]

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Through his tears, he begins to create.

[chewychewcal]

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[chewychewcal]

stay off my phone before bed challenge drink water instead challenge

[chewychewcal]

i don’t know when to quit bruh

[chewychewcal]

[chewychewcal]

days with back to back meetings and errands used to exhaust me from the jump— my anxiety would spike before even leaving the house. the list felt like it would always grow longer and i’d get easily overwhelmed by the schedule. today could’ve been like that if i was still the same person but im not so with 30 minutes to get ready i ran to caliber collision for an assessment on my wrecked car… i picked up a rental for the week and rushed home for lunch and a nap before meeting with my friend at the library. we whole heartedly drew each other where i felt the eye contact was intimate and it gave me butterflies. we spent 3 or so hours together drawing and talking and dreaming. I was late to meet with the art society but they love me anyways so once gathered, we wheat-pasted our event posters around the arts district. daringly, rebelliously, unapologetically we gooped our glue with pride next to the just-as-proud graffiti writers. Since then— everyone went home as we prepare for rain, but i stayed outside for a beer and some solitude. Feeling accomplished, ready to rest, cheers to logging back into this app after 5 years. thx erin<3