god ok i WISH tumblr let you send youtube links but theres this tik tok of this animated couple where the guy was reading this philosophy book and he turns to his wife like honey, i bet you cant tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time. so the wife says you have the biggest pe*is out of all of your friends. How shook would the lad guys be if their girl pranked them with that? hopefully nobody out to get murdered
:) this is the type of chaotic i can sometimes be. I took some liberties with this. Sorry for mistakes!
Xavier keeps a small triumphant smile to himself because he just knows he's finally found a question you won't have an answer to. The two of you have gone back and forth for weeks playing this little game and Xavier finally feels he'll win once and for all.
He eyes you, fixing up dinner in the kitchen, looking cute in the bunny apron he'd bought you. Xavier approaches you stealthily, then locks his arms around your waist.
You glance behind you momentarily, your hands ceasing on the food. "Oh yeah? Go for it," you goad.
"Can you tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time?" You feel Xavier's smirk on the back of your neck. He feels so strongly about this you don't want to hurt his feelings, but this will be fun.
"Hmm, let me think..." You feign for a moment, placing your hands on your hips. "I got it. Out of all of your friends, you've got the biggest dick." You bite your lip to stifle a laugh.
As soon as the words left your mouth, the warm arms around you tightened. You turned back again to look at Xavier, his gaze now more... dark.
You can tell his thoughts are going a mile a minute with so many questions and emotions running rampant through him. Does he ask you how you know that? Or better, does he kill his friends for touching his girl without him knowing?
He makes a move to release himself from you and heads to the front door. You skip over to him, blocking his path.
You can only laugh which seems to only trigger him further. You bring your hands to his face and pull his pouty lips in for a kiss.
"Baby, I'm joking. I feel bad putting Jeremiah's life in danger over a joke. You were too sure of yourself."
"Jokes are supposed to be funny," he says begrudgingly. You kiss his pouty lips again in an attempt to soothe his building frustration.
"You asked the question sir."
It was a quiet and rare evening where Sylus didn't have much going on. He'd invited you over to spend the next few days at the base. After a night out in the N109 Zone you both were now comfortably lounging in his bedroom next to the fireplace.
You sat comfortably on Sylus' lap, a hand caressing his hair.
"The twins were playing an interesting game earlier, did you get the chance to see?" You questioned. Sylus kept his eyes closed at your gentle touches.
"I don't really pay attention to others, especially when you're around, sweetie." He places a quick kiss on your cheek.
"Fair," you laugh. "But really, it seemed fun. It was full of interesting things you can ask people and I want to try one on you."
Sylus only hummed in response.
"One of the cards said," What's something that would make someone happy and sad at the same time. When it comes to you, the only thing that comes to mind is, out of all your friends, your dick is the biggest," you state bluntly.
Sylus pauses briefly, his glass of gin fizz hovering before his lips with his eyes focused on you. Though instead of reacting out of character he simply says, "it's bold of you to assume I have friends, but humor me kitten. Who are you referring to, I'm dying to know." He simply smirks into his drink, completely satisfied with the displeased look on your face.
You just wanted to have a bit of fun and here he goes ruining it.
"Geez you're no fun," you pout.
"I can be fun, but you're a fool to think that I don't always have my eyes on you."
Rafayel scrolls through his social media absentmindedly while laying on his bed with you. He was taking a much needed break from working on various pieces and just wanted to spend some carefree time with you. Your head was laid gently on his chest, eyes closed as he continued his perusing.
He stopped momentarily on a post by an old friend asking his "fellas" to ask their girls if they could say something that would make them happy and sad at the first time.
"I am...intrigued. Hey cutie, you awake?" Rafayel questions.
"Just barely, why?" Rafayel goes warm with the cuteness of your tired voice.
"I have a question for you. Can you tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time? I saw some friends talking about it online, so I figured I'd bite."
You were silent for a moment, a long one. So much so that Rafayel figured you'd fallen asleep.
Your hoarse voice cuts through the silence, "Among your friends, your dick is the largest."
Rafayel's finger pauses midscroll, not fully believing he heard you right.
"Excuse me?" He questions frantically.
"You heard me." You let that response age for as long you think is necessary.
"And how the fuck do you know that?!" Rafayel exclaims, now fully sitting up in his bed causing you to slump off his chest and onto the mattress.
"You should be asking them that, not me." Rafayel can only stare in disbelief.
"Those motherfuckers....and you! Why didn't you tell me?!" Your face remains buried in the mattress, failing to keep a straight face.
"Because I'm lying you idiot. I'm joking." The burst of giggles you release only piss him off more. He grabs you, flipping you over-towering you.
"You think I'm a joke? You almost cost some people their life, Thomas included." You wrap your arms around his neck, the worst of your giggles now gone.
"Aww, you consider Thomas a friend after all. He'd feel so touched." Rafayel flicks your forehead.
"I need to teach you a lesson. I can't have you thinking I'm easy."
Later that night Rafayel responds to his friend's post simply saying, "delete this."
This was going to go one of two ways....with you in trouble, big trouble or Caleb murdering his already small friend group.
You liked your odds, so fuck it we ball. You'd seen the trend of girlfriends saying crazy shit to their boyfriends to get a rise out of them and you wanted to give it a try. You still weren't completely over Caleb faking his death, so what's a little harmless fun. Well, mostly harmless.
You'd created a deck of flashcards under the rouse of a game. Before coming to his place, you made sure the cards were positioned accordingly so Caleb would get the cards you wanted.
You two were having your share of fun going back and forth learning more about each other. Despite being childhood friends, there's much more under the surface of you both.
"Okay, your turn." You sit up expectantly, eyes never leaving Caleb laying on his side against the couch.
"I can't wait to hear your response to this one pip squeak. What's something that will make me happy and sad at the same time?" He questions.
You feign contemplation with a hand placed under your chin. "Hmm, let me think on that for a bit."
"You get thirty seconds or you lose the point."
"Caleb! That's no fair." You wanted to laugh, you were really selling this performance.
"I didn't make the rules, now chop chop. Let's hear that answer." He keeps that stupid cheery and smug look on his face, and you can't wait to wipe it off.
"I got it, but you won't like it."
"Try me." He absentmindedly plays with the card in his hand, his eyes never leaving you.
You offer a small yet evil smile in return. "Out of all your friends, your dick is the biggest."
The card falls from Caleb's face as he the card falls from his fingers.
"I-what..how.." His words struggle to find him. You can see him processing the information almost painfully. "I-I...don't really think I have the right to be mad seeing as I was gone for awhile, but to think those motherfuckers wasted no time while I was...away."
Caleb's acceptance slowly starts to form into anger. "And you wonder why I don't want you anywhere else but here. From now on, meeting up with Gideon or anyone else is off the table."
"The fuck you mean? You know what, this was a joke. A little jokey joke, ha ha. And even if it wasn't you don't get to tell me who I can meet up with," you spit back.
"A joke?" Caleb grabs you by the ankle and drags you over to him. "I wanna show you something really funny then. I've gone too easy on you I fear." Caleb sighs pushing you gently yet firmly onto the ground, his body hovering over you.
"Let me show you how funny I can be."
"Is that so," was the only thing you'd gotten in response to your little joke. You'd seen a girl do it online and wanted to give it a try on your little snowman. You hadn't been able to get a rise out of him for awhile now and thought this would spice things up.
However, those icy eyes and bite in his voice may have put Greyson and the others in a bit more danger than needed.
"Don't worry about telling me how you got that information. I'll find out for myself in the morning." Zayne promptly turns off his bedside lamp and makes himself comfortable in bed.
"Zayne please, I'm joking."
"Me too." The subtle change in his tone says otherwise. You climb over to him, taking a seat on top of him.
"Babe, please. It's really a joke, I'm sorry. Greyson is innocent, I promise." Zayne analyzes you for a moment, his face judging.
"You and these....little pranks grow tiresome," he says with a sigh.
You laugh off his frustration and lean over to kiss his lips. "I'm sorry, sometimes it's fun to get a rise out of you. Especially when you've been insanely busy."
"Darling, I hope you remember this when the tables have turned."
