Only Now Exists

The past is just practice...

[chidaaang-blog]

You always want what you can't have. 

[bobbymoynihans]

[the-absolute-best-posts]

marvelagentsofshield:

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD

[envisagethoughts-blog]

We’re not the same person we were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. We’re constantly changing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life

Unknown (via sundaylatte)

[chidaaang-blog]

Talk smack, get smacked.

Talking shit about someone does you no good, whether you feel like they deserve it or not because they are doing the exact same thing to you that you are doing to them. All that smack talk does nothing but stir up drama and puts strains on friendships. It sucks, but in situations like these, you just have to learn to be the bigger person. Confront it or drop it. Don't dwell on it amongst yourself and a few of your close friends because it only ends with you resenting someone you once thought you could count on for everything. 

[chidaaang-blog]

I can never just have anything for myself. You always have to swoop in and take everything from me... Can I please just have one thing of my own? PLEASE. 

[chidaaang-blog]

I'm so sick of you and your bullshit that no one else can see but me. 

[chidaaang-blog]

Burdens

These past few days, reality has just wacked me in the face... HARD. 

-I knew college was hard, but not this hard. I just feel like such a idiot compared to everyone else here. Everyone is so intelligent and intellectual, and I'm over derping on my own. It's like no matter how hard I try here, it's never good enough. 

-I go to school everyday wondering if I'll have the privilege of coming back here next semester. I wasn't good enough to make it into McCombs the first time, so this whole year I've been working on getting in, but what if its not enough? What if I end up not getting in? I can't help but doubt myself. If I don't end up getting in this year, that's it for me... I'll be forced to go back to UH, and yeah that's not such a bad thing, but it kind of is. Why? Because I was selfish enough to decide that I was going to go here without thinking about my family and they're thoughts about it. I knew my parents wanted me to go to UH, reallly bad, but I selfishly decided that I wanted to go here, so I did. But did I really stop to think about how it would affect my family? No, and that's the problem. IF I don't make it: Then I threw away an $18,000 scholarship for nothing. I wasted my parents money by coming here just to get sent right back. Yeah it looks like I'm super bougie and I have soooo much money, but in reality, we have financial struggles just like everyone else. So all that hard work my dad has to put in just to let me go here would have been a waste, like he invested his money in me just to watch me fail. UGH, how embarrassing. But most of all, I don't want to disappoint my parents. They sent me here to see me succeed, not to watch me fail because I wasn't good enough or smart enough. I just want them to have something to be proud of. I mean, I'm working hard because I really want to stay here, but I am mainly doing this for them. I don't want to let them down, I don't want them to have to struggle for nothing. I want them to see that all the struggles that they had to go through to get me here will pay off. 

-I'm lonely. Oh damn, there I said it. Seeing all these cute couples around makes me wonder when is it going to be my turn? What is wrong with me? I'M CHEESY! I like the forehead kisses, the feeling of being someone's "girl," having someone look at me in "that" way that every girl dreams about, the cute little surprises, the lovely dates and being able to dress up and look fly, the gay couple pictures that everyone laughs at but is jealous of at the same time. I want that, but honestly, I don't think I'm ever going to have that privilege. Some people do die alone ya know? Okay I sound desperate. I'm done. 

[chidaaang-blog]

I'm always getting left behind. Just once, I want to feel wanted. Is that so hard to ask for?

[chidaaang-blog]

Some people are fortunate enough to get everything handed to them in life.

But some of us actually have to work for what we get, shocker right?  

[chidaaang-blog]

You will always choose them over me and that's just something I am going to have to accept.

[chidaaang-blog]

SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE

I've come to the conclusion that the summer before college makes you think a lot. I always catch myself wondering:

Who will I keep in contact with? It's easy to say you're going to be friends with someone forever when you both see each other every day, but when it comes time to separate, will you both keep in contact with each other? Will the distance tear you two apart? 

Am I ready to handle the real world? I've been privileged enough as to where I haven't fully had to face the real world just yet. I have been living in my own little bubble all this time and I don't know if I'm ready to be fully independent yet. Honestly, I'm still so naive. I still have so much to learn and I guess that's what college is for. I've always had my family there to back me up and support me though, but once I'm in Austin, I am really on my own, without my mom or dad to tell me what is right or wrong, and what I should and shouldn't do. This will be a test of my own judgement and my morals and values. 

What if I don't succeed? I'm nowhere near ready to handle the rigor that college has to offer. High school was such a breeze for me! I haven't even made it into my major yet, and what if I fail so miserably that they won't accept me? I'm really hoping that I don't get caught up in the party life because I do need to focus, a lot is riding on my freshman year. If I don't make it into McCombs, I have to come back to Houston, and I honestly don't want to do that. UT was supposed to be my moment to be set free, and if I'm forced to come back to Houston, it will be like high school all over again.

The summer before college is so bittersweet. While I'm ready to start fresh and be independent, I'm also sad because I'll be leaving so many people I love behind. I know I can always come back and visit, but it really isn't going to be the same considering its people that I see daily. It's going to be weird waking up and not seeing my mom making tea, my dad with his feet up on the chair talking really loud, Brandon laying across the family room floor playing on his computer, or Steven walking around half naked asking dumb questions. As obnoxious as that sounds, I'm actually going to miss that a lot. I'M READY! But I'M NOT! 

[chidaaang-blog]

It takes two to make a friendship work.

Why is it so hard for people to understand such a simple concept?

[goldbay]

[chidaaang-blog]

Diversity Night was a good experience! Our performance wasn't perfect, but for it being the first, it wasn't so bad. Thanks to Jackie for helping me achieve my goal!

And thanks to the bestest friend in the whole wide world for the flowers, I've always wanted a bouquet of roses.

Also a big thanks to everyone who came out to support. I love you guys <3

[fuckyeahmcgosling-blog]

[the-absolute-best-posts]

fuckyeahmcgosling:

Jimmy: You’ve been taking ballet lessons I hear. Ryan: Alright. Jimmy: Why have you been taking ballet lessons? Is there a sequel to Black Swan we don’t know about? Ryan: No. I have no good reason to be taking ballet lessons. Jimmy: Who are you taking them from? Ryan: I take them, It’s like a public class. Jimmy: Who’s in it? Ryan: A lot of people who are good and then me. I’m terrible. Everyone is good except for me. Jimmy: Are there any children in the class? Ryan: Yeah, kids. I’m so bad at it, I’m so unflexible that they have to bring out a special barre when we do the barre work part of the class. It’s a tiny barre and it goes in the middle of the class and I can barely get my leg on it and then there are two 7-year-old girls who sit next to me and do the barre work and they just look at me like they hate me, like I’m cheapening the whole thing by being there! They’re like ‘you’re old, you’re not good and I’ve seen you at movies and it’s weird that you’re here. Why are you here?’

Ryan Gosling on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Submitted by nessastooshort

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

[chidaaang-blog]

THAT'S YO MAN COW.

[filmcinematography]

[nguyennifer-deactivated20120429]

‘Cause even the stars they burn Some even fall to the earth We’ve got a lot to learn God knows we’re worth it No, I won’t give up