About Melinda’s ambivalence
Gotta say that SxF ch75 was quite a ride. Personally, I expected Damian not to have any parent coming to check on him after the hijacking but what we got instead was…
…actually so much worse. :/
Thanks to Anya’s abilities, we found out that Melinda does care about her son’s safety… but from the moment Damian mentioned not wanting to disappoint worry his father, her behavior and thoughts completely changed and she became cold, torn between being relieved and thoroughly despising her 6 year old son, to the point of wishing he had died during the hijacking (seriously, poor Damian).
I remember, back when we met her, that some fans proposed the idea that she hates her life and her children, because she was forced into a wedding with Donovan. I think this chapter partially answers to that, but maybe more in the way that she’s torn about Damian because she most definitely hates her husband.
I wonder, considering that the Ostanian society is rather patriarchal, if Melinda, as Donovan’s wife who doesn’t get along with him, was forbidden from raising her sons the way she wanted, because Donovan wanted them raised differently and she could only comply, which is why she immediately switches from loving thoughts to wishing Damian was dead once he mentions “not wanting to worry his father”.
It definitely seems there is some sort of power play full of hatred between Donovan and Melinda, so if Melinda was mostly deprived of her motherly role because her husband chose to raise their boys according to his own conformist vision to patriarchy, then that explains the morbid ambivalence that she showed about Damian. Interestingly, if she and Yor really become friends, then they could mutually learn from each other (for Yor, to realize that she’s her own person and for Melinda that she can love her kids independently from whatever asshole their father is and still try to educate them).
Somehow, this makes the newly expressed friendship between Damian and Anya a much sweeter moment in the chapter, especially since Anya heard Melinda’s horrible thoughts.
It’s really sad though that a few kids are the only people Damian can count on for true comfort…
TL;DR Melinda’s half hateful thoughts about Damian probably come from hating her husband. The reason why is still unclear (is she mentally or physically abused? was she just pushed away from raising her sons because she’s a woman?) and since she most likely can’t get divorced or get therapy, this is how it gets expressed…
Can’t wait to see Anya hearing Donovan’s thoughts now.
EDIT: discussing with @linkspooky, she pointed out that Melinda is probably battered by Donovan, which is why she’s inwardly conflicted about her feelings for her child and also why she and Damian basically made the promise not to tell Donovan about crying (Damian) and coming to see if her son was okay (Melinda), despite both being incredibly normal things. Either way, this chapter is bad news for Donovan.
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