That cat is absolutely an orphan-generating coal baron. The mustache and top-hat are there in spirit, if not actually.
This cat would be the villain in any direct-to-video sequel to An American Tail

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@chigbungo
That cat is absolutely an orphan-generating coal baron. The mustache and top-hat are there in spirit, if not actually.
This cat would be the villain in any direct-to-video sequel to An American Tail
God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour
you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter
every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud
men just don't get into a big cloud of dust and start punching and kicking each other with only their arms and legs briefly visible like they used to
people on here give yoda a lot of shit and say that he was a bad mentor but i’d like to contest that Yoda is and has always been cool as hell and the real problem was that in the days of the Republic he was forced into a shitty managerial position, where he had to worry about paperwork and massive unauthorized clone orders and vetting chosen ones and shit like that when really all he wanted all along was to be a delightfully shitty impish little grandpa living in a hut giving cryptic advice to teenagers
Like remember that episode of the Clone Wars where the jedi council finally tries to put yoda in a retirement home because he starts talking to Qui Gon’s ghost and yoda calls anakin over like “hmmm…. friends, we are, young skywalker. help me escape this silly place, you must. in it for you, a handful of Werther’s Originals is” like that’s who Yoda is, at his core, and the stifling weight of Force monk bureaucracy took that away from him
Hand to god if all of the like administrative work of running the Jedi Order had been left to someone just slightly more competent and business savvy like IDK Mace Windu or Plo or Luminara or even That One Guy Who’s Allowed To Fuck and yoda had been allowed to scamper off and just like, occasionally impart funny wisdom to jedi children and cheekily break all of the rules in front of them, this Darth Vader shit would have NEVER happened. Instead Anakin would have had the fun-loving, devil may care, “as long as in the house, you do it, young Skywalker” Bad Grandpa influence he desperately needed to balance out frazzled and terminally high-strung Teen Dad Kenobi
Anakin is out on one of the Temple balconies just stewing angrily about his sexual frustration towards Padmé and how Obi-Wan keeps warning him that he will be expelled from the Jedi order and then thrown into a big pit of lava if he ever even talks to a girl and that makes him sad and angry and emotionally confused, when he notices tiny little old man Yoda’s hobbling over to stand next to him with a knowing expression on his face.
“Forbidden emotional attachments, we both have,” Yoda winks at him and pulls out a box of cigarettes. “To nicotine, mine is”
“Wish to save your mother from a life of unlawful bondage on Planet Shit, you do. Very well. Feel like being bad, I do. Tell anyone I am helping you, you must not. Murder me, the rest of the Council would. ;)”
CRYING OVER THE “To nicotine, mine is” HELP
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CHRISTOPHER MELONI 2021 | Clifton Mooney ph. for Interview Magazine
These are HIS stories
mer are you... are you okay
im studying engineering
OK??? LMFAO???
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you.
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Steel Ball Run
okay but they actually had a very calculated disregard for speed limits?
some of the quick facts:
- average speed of 103mph (165kmh) including the 22.5 minutes of refueling - reached cruise speeds of 160mph (258kmh) - 700 horsepower from various upgrades - built-in Net Radar radar detector - windshield-mount Escort Max 360 radar detector - AL Priority laser jammer system - aircraft collision avoidance system (for finding highway patrol aircraft) - brake lights and tail lights disabled - vinyl trim used to make the rear lights resemble a honda accord (and not a race-ready mercedes) - 2 ipads for additional police tracking - 2 GPS systems to prove their record - police scanner - CB radio - 18 spotters along the route to watch for police - and my personal favourite, a roof mounted set of thermal binoculars
And that’s the way to do it.
Kings
I’m amazed they were able to beat the old cannonball record
I bothered to look up the source all the way back and some extra facts:
Apparently, they had cops helping keep the other cops away, they did this by convincing them that they would do it regardless and helping would be safer, and if they set a crazy enough record it would deter other people.
The speed discrepancy between the top speed at almost 200 and average speed of 103 is because they dropped it with other cars nearby, which was also a strategy to not get reported and stopped.
It was not a Mercedes it was an Infiniti Q50 modded with a GT-R drivetrain which was set up for multiple drivers with a MIDDLE seat like a McClaren F1? I cannot find pictures unfortunately.
The original interview says they had a fucking smoke screen if they got chased even. Recommended by his therapist apparently?
I think my favorite part was he is agnostic so he prayed to every god just in case. All of them he could find. Just to cover all the bases.
So the above story is actually from 2015; since the 2020 pandemic, the record’s been broken three times in rapid succession! It’s now at 25:39. Here’s some interviews with the current world record holders!
I thought this was my hometown for a second
You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?
Eat a nickel
A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories
Eat a nickel
Ok
i just got arrested for being too ugly
can someone come bail me out
on my way!
can someone come bail me out
Rengoku! :D
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