Long after that disastrous morning, in his opinion, Sougo found himself unable to push pass the confused and unsettled feeling that has been weighing on his mind. It took maybe an hour or two before he realized that, no, he couldn’t keep going like this. He couldn’t let the work pile up. Especially with the delay he already did from yesterday.
He needed someone to help right him again.
That also took a few minutes though, so Sougo sat there trying to bottle things up again, to place them in their compartments. Anxiety bubbled in his chest, nearly suffocating, until it popped in relief at the even tone echoing in the room and looked up.
It was probably then that Sougo started to unravel, the cold and the control peeling off him. Throat locking up with the words and emotions he learned to hold down, he slipped out only a small hysteric sound instead at the inquiry. He quickly sealed his mouth and shook his head. That might not be the right course of action right now, despite the desire to make it disappear.
He took a shaky breath in and out before trying to speak again.
“No, I—” Sougo paused, licking his lips and wondering how to continue. The gentleness, the forwardness, giving into those to indulge— even the fact he stayed after. That had been too dangerous, too much of a slip for him. Even if he had been safe, to allow himself that moment of vulnerability with someone he didn’t know. “I… I think I messed up. No, no I definitely messed up.”
Because, rare as the one night stands were, Sougo haven’t– not a moment– fell into something like that. He was always composed, in control. To have it slip so suddenly… with someone he deduced to be kind, dare even pure than him is…
His head fell into place between his hands, fingers digging into them roughly. “I-I don’t know what to do.”
With an ease and gentle movement that only Sougo would ever be granted, Chikage raised his arms to have them rest on Sougo’s shoulders, as if to keep the other from going further and falling forward.
Chikage’s there to keep Sougo from falling, whether emotionally or physically.
“That’s what I’m here for, Sougo, to clean up if I have to.” In more ways than one. Carefully, he moved them both to have the other be seated in a chair, just to have this conversation go more easily. “Now, what happened? You were out like normally, and when I tried to text you this morning, you didn’t answer.”
Not that it’s of any surprise to go long without a response of sort in their line of work, but as time passed without a single line of text or even a sticker signalling the okay, Chikage couldn’t help but worry -- which is more emotion than he should be allowed to feel, but considering their closeness since both their childhood, Chikage had bent the exceptions placed on him in more ways than one.
